Straw and Blade Part 1

Song Yu still couldn't hold back and hugged Yue Zhishi, but he restrained himself, using only the lightest of touches to make the embrace seem more like one of comfort than possession.

"It won't." Song Yu caressed the nape of Yue Zhishi's neck, his voice a little hoarse. "Something like that will never happen again." Song Yu was more than smart enough, but he couldn't figure out how to make Yue Zhishi understand that he actually cared about him very much, that he didn't want to leave him at all. His feelings were like the tip of an iceberg; what he could reveal to Yue Zhishi was forever just one ten-thousandth of the whole, the only way to get close enough to a brother's normal behavior.

But now, he found it increasingly difficult to balance his emotional output. He wanted Yue Zhishi to know his own importance, yet he was unwilling to reveal his true desires to him, using Yue Zhishi's trust and reliance on him to satisfy his own narrow possessiveness.

"I will do everything I promised you."

Yue Zhishi let himself be held quietly, not shedding a tear, nor responding, more silent than the lake's surface. This made Song Yu feel a little uneasy, as if Yue Zhishi thought his words had no effect, that he would no longer ask repeatedly like he did when he was a child, "Really? You promise."

He was a little afraid that Yue Zhishi had grown up and no longer needed his promises.

But in the end, Yue Zhishi still raised his hand and gently gripped the fabric of Song Yu's shirt at his lower back, which gave Song Yu some comfort. Although when the hug ended, the crease on the shirt vanished with it, leaving no proof behind.

Feeling that Yue Zhishi's arms were a bit cold, Song Yu offered to walk him back. Standing on the wooden walkway, they were as if treading on thin ice, yet their hands could be held tightly. Once they returned to the shore, they went back to a safe distance.

Standing downstairs from the dormitory, Yue Zhishi had recovered, as if he had already forgotten the previous topic. He began to smile at Song Yu again. "If you go to team practice, you can tell me in advance. I want to practice with you."

Song Yu nodded in agreement, then raised a hand to touch Yue Zhishi's face, caressing the back of his neck for a while longer.

These actions were all beyond Yue Zhishi's expectations, making him feel like a puppy that had received an extra treat. He was delighted, but he didn't dare to move. When he left Song Yu to go upstairs, he felt even more lost and dejected. In his heart, he even said to Song Yu, aggrieved and resentful, 'You shouldn't touch me like that anymore.'

But he hoped for it, he liked it.

Walking up to the fourth floor, Yue Zhishi suddenly heard someone call his name. He looked up to find Shen Mi, standing by the window in the hallway.

"What are you doing here?" Yue Zhishi remembered that he had been drinking and asked, "Are you okay?"

Shen Mi smiled, answering the second question first. "It's not that exaggerated. My face just gets flushed easily, I wasn't actually drunk." He quickly added, "I sent you a message after I went back, but you didn't reply, so I came over to your building myself. I waited for a while but you still hadn't come back, so I was about to leave. I didn't expect you to come back just now."

Yue Zhishi also showed a smile. "Yeah, my brother and I were just walking around the campus."

"I know," Shen Mi blurted out.

Yue Zhishi had wanted to ask him if anything was wrong, but that wasn't a good way to phrase it, so he extended an invitation instead. "Do you still want to come up and hang out?"

Shen Mi uncharacteristically refused. "No need, it's getting late. You should rest. I just came to check on you, I was afraid you were upset because of what happened tonight." He then comforted him, "Don't be unhappy because of that kind of person, it's not worth it."

Yue Zhishi nodded. "I know, don't worry." He stood in the hallway and watched Shen Mi leave, waiting until he saw his figure from the window disappear into the building next door.

That feeling of insecurity still enveloped Yue Zhishi. In the past, this symptom would lessen after he received Song Yu's assurance, but this time, it didn't seem to. Song Yu had clearly made a promise, but it didn't help him at all.

Yue Zhishi felt very helpless.

But Song Yu did indeed do everything he promised, including taking Yue Zhishi to practice. Even though he was really busy, he would still practice with Yue Zhishi at least twice a week. One time, he even came wearing his glasses. Usually, Song Yu would leave his glasses at his workstation in the lab to prevent losing them, since he only wore them when studying or working. But that time, he didn't even realize it himself and was also wearing a white shirt unsuitable for playing basketball.

At that moment, Yue Zhishi was shooting a three-pointer. The court he was on was directly opposite the entrance to the school gymnasium, so when he saw Song Yu come in, a shot he was certain would go in suddenly went off-course, ridiculously turning into an airball.

Yue Zhishi felt a bit embarrassed, but Song Yu looked so good in his white shirt and glasses. The two emotions clashed, and he forgot what he was doing, only saying foolishly to Song Yu, "If you play with glasses on, won't they fall off?" He quickly felt his question was silly and added, "Probably not, you have a high nose bridge."

Song Yu raised a hand to touch his glasses, only then realizing something was off. He didn't say he had just come from an impromptu meeting, only that he could see more clearly with his glasses on, so he hadn't taken them off.

He was always like this, using small lies to cover up what he considered to be inconsequential thoughts, knowing Yue Zhishi couldn't tell the difference anyway.

During practice, they would inevitably run into Shen Mi. At first, Song Yu was very biased against Shen Mi. He had keenly sensed Shen Mi's affection for Yue Zhishi and his strong desire to show it. He always felt that most people who liked Yue Zhishi only liked his appearance or thought he was simple and kind and easy to get close to. But after spending more time around him, he discovered that Shen Mi was indeed very good to Yue Zhishi, just too childish, too unable to hide his feelings.

A few times, when Song Yu hugged Yue Zhishi from behind to teach him how to shoot, Shen Mi's movements would pause for a moment when he saw them, before he would act as if nothing had happened and continue practicing with the others.

The others, besides him, were even less likely to find Song Yu and Yue Zhishi's overly intimate actions strange, because everyone took it for granted that they were brothers who grew up together.

The people in the basketball gym wouldn't joke about Yue Zhishi and Song Yu, but they couldn't kick the old habit of gossiping about Song Yu and Nan Jia, even though Nan Jia would seriously reject it every time, and Song Yu would just walk away without giving them any face. Yue Zhishi was sometimes also very curious about what exactly people found so compatible about them.

When he thought about it, he would look at Nan Jia. She was very beautiful. She clearly had a distinguished face, but she didn't have any airs at all. When she was gentle, it was like a spring breeze; when she was firm, she was convincing rather than off-putting. Sometimes, she and Song Yu would inadvertently stand together, and the picture they made was indeed very pleasing to the eye.

After some thought and observation, Yue Zhishi seemed to gradually come to believe this fact.

They were indeed very well-matched.

His mood lately was like the unpredictable weather in September. One day it was hot enough to wear short sleeves, and the next day the temperature would suddenly drop, catching people off guard.

Yue Zhishi had twice worn the wrong clothes. He ran back to the dormitory to get a jacket after class, and from all the running back and forth, he caught a bit of a cold. As if caught in a vicious cycle, the cold further worsened his emotional low pressure.

It had been two weeks since their night chat at Lingbo Gate, but he still hadn't made any progress.

His major-specific course in the afternoon started relatively late. Yue Zhishi was pulled by the seniors from the main team to have lunch together in the cafeteria. Song Yu, Qin Yan, and Nan Jia weren't there, so he sat next to Shen Mi, with another cheerful senior to his left. When they chatted, they talked about NBA games and gossip from other departments. Yue Zhishi was a little distracted. The afternoon's major course was difficult, and he had already fallen a bit behind in the first few classes. The scariest part was that the professor didn't provide course materials. He thought about buying a coffee after lunch to be more alert during the lecture.

"Hey, Lele, let me ask you a question."

The senior next to him interrupted Yue Zhishi's worries. He looked up and looked seriously at the senior's face. "Yeah, what is it?"

"Has your brother really never been in a relationship before?" His expression was curious. "A guy like him should have a lot of pursuers, right?"

"No, he hasn't," Yue Zhishi replied. "He doesn't seem to be very interested."

The senior sitting opposite him laughed. "The key is that if he was dating in high school, he wouldn't tell his little brother, would he?"

"That's true."

Yue Zhishi shook his head. "He really hasn't. There have never been any girls close to him."

"Really? We really don't understand the world of top students. I heard his college entrance exam score was insanely high. For him to go and study a tough major like surveying and mapping is just wild."

"He really likes this major," Yue Zhishi emphasized again. "As long as he likes it, it's good."

"You're really good to your brother. If only I had a little brother like you, it'd be so cool to take you out." The senior laughed and even put a chopstick-full of his teppanyaki squid noodles into Yue Zhishi's bowl. "Eat more."

Yue Zhishi found it hard to say he couldn't eat it. Shen Mi, however, was quick-handed. While the senior wasn't looking, he directly took the noodles from his bowl.

"Hey, let me ask you another question." The senior turned his head again to look at Yue Zhishi. "Have you ever thought about what kind of sister-in-law you'd want?"

The other few boys all laughed in unison, their laughter a little strange.

Yue Zhishi shook his head. "No."

"Really?" a senior sitting diagonally across from him laughed. "Every time my brother brings a girlfriend home, I always take a few extra glances."

"Tsk tsk, Old Zhang, so you're that kind of person!"

"Hey, who doesn't like a sister-in-law!"

"Don't be a bad influence on the junior, alright." The senior sitting opposite looked at Yue Zhishi. "You've really never thought about it? Then what if..." He thought for a moment, as if coming up with a good option. "Let me give you a hypothetical. If Senior Nan Jia were to be your sister-in-law, would you be happy?"

Yue Zhishi looked at him in silence, not answering for a long time. Then he suddenly started coughing, coughing more and more severely, unable to stop for a moment.

"Seniors, you're all so nosy," Shen Mi spoke up. "Senior Nan Jia will be angry again if she finds out."

"We're just joking. It's so boring to just eat."

"It's best if this rumor doesn't come true. An enemy like Song Yu is too powerful. If it weren't for him, I'd still have a chance."

"A chance in your dreams!"

Yue Zhishi's stomach felt a little upset, and a thin layer of sweat formed on his palms, like a stress reaction to the sudden emotional shift. Since he was young, the doctor had told him that even with allergic asthma, he had to pay attention to his emotions, get sick less often, and maintain optimism, as this would minimize the risk of an attack. He was an obedient child and had always demanded this of himself.

But now, he was finding it harder and harder to control his emotions, just like the breathing he couldn't control during an attack.

After lunch, Shen Mi said he needed to pick up a package and asked Yue Zhishi to accompany him. Of course, Yue Zhishi didn't refuse, and so they separated from the seniors. But Shen Mi didn't actually have a package to pick up. He took Yue Zhishi into a convenience store and bought him a hot milk tea.

"This is for you. They said it's good," Shen Mi said.

Yue Zhishi said thank you. "You're always treating me to things."

Shen Mi smiled. "Watching you eat makes people feel better."

Yue Zhishi said thank you again. The two of them sat on high-legged chairs drinking milk tea. Shen Mi talked a lot about the interesting things he had encountered recently. Yue Zhishi listened in silence, occasionally made to laugh by him. After leaving the convenience store, Yue Zhishi asked Shen Mi, "Do you think Senior Nan Jia and my brother are a good match?"

Shen Mi stared at him for two seconds, then laughed. "That's not for me to say."

"Then who's to say?"

"No one gets to say, I guess." Shen Mi smiled. "I could say you and I are best friends, but those are just words."

Yue Zhishi fell silent. After a while, he said again, "You are my good friend."

Shen Mi didn't comment or reply to this statement, but he walked Yue Zhishi all the way to the classroom door and patted his shoulder. "Lele, don't overthink things and get yourself tangled up. Be happier."

What Shen Mi said was always very reasonable, but Yue Zhishi could never take it to heart.

Before the major course began, Yue Zhishi sat in the lecture hall and reviewed his previous notes. He didn't want to fall behind, and studying would also make him more focused and his emotions calmer. The class was about to start, and more and more students came in, but Yue Zhishi didn't notice until the bell rang for class, at which point he looked up.

But the person standing at the podium was not the difficult old professor, but Nan Jia.