A Fish for the Soup

Li Yu floated motionless in the icy water.

Muffled voices drifted down from somewhere overhead, too indistinct to make out. Finding them a little noisy, Li Yu rolled over and opened his eyes—only to realize that he seemed to be soaking wet.

He jolted. As his mind gradually cleared, he made a chilling discovery: he was surrounded by water??

Wait, that wasn't right. He remembered falling asleep after staying up late reading a webnovel. When had he fallen into the water?

And he—he couldn't swim at all!

Scared out of his wits, Li Yu flailed his arms and legs in a panic. As he exerted himself, he felt something behind him start to swing.

Normally, falling into the water meant going straight to the bottom. Somehow, this time he wasn't sinking. Instead, he steadied himself in the water, as though it had given him an invisible helping hand.

And that strange, impossible-to-ignore rhythm coming from behind him...

What was it?

Li Yu instinctively looked back and discovered, with a shock, that the long legs he'd always been so proud of were gone. In their place was a gleaming silver fishtail, busily slapping the water up, down, left, and right.

...Well, he seemed to have found his answer.

Apparently, the tail's movements were what kept his body from sinking.

Li Yu: "..."

What was going on? How had his legs turned into a fishtail?

Could he be... dreaming?

Dreaming that he'd turned into a mermaid?

Sure, "mermaid" sounded a little girly, but it was the only thing Li Yu could think of that was a person with a fishtail.

Not one of those so-ugly-they're-cute dugongs from Animal World, but a beautiful, fantastical creature, half human and half fish, with flowing hair, lovely features, and an ethereal singing voice.

Everyone knew those mermaids didn't exist in real life, so if he'd turned into one, this had to be a dream.

Since it was only a dream, he certainly wouldn't mind spending a little more time admiring his mermaid self.

Li Yu looked around for a mirror, or anything else that might show him his reflection.

All the while, he kept vigorously swishing his fishtail. Having a tail to swing around however he pleased actually felt pretty good?

Unfortunately, the dream wasn't being very cooperative. There were no mirrors in the water. Li Yu rolled over and reached toward his forehead out of habit, intending to brush his bangs aside.

That was when things went horribly wrong. Li Yu suddenly discovered that, however hard he tried, his hand couldn't reach his forehead.

His hand... what had happened to it? Had it gotten shorter?

Startled, Li Yu looked at his hand.

Only then did he realize that his hand, with its distinct knuckles, was gone, too. In its place, constantly fluttering through the water, was something that looked and felt exactly like a real fish fin... namely, a fish fin.

His legs had become a tail, and his hands had become fins. Then what did that make him??

Li Yu hurriedly looked down at himself.

He saw—his entire body was covered in silvery-black scales, except for a long, narrow strip along his belly...

No, no, wait. When had his belly become so flat and narrow? It looked like the sort of belly only an ordinary fish... would have.

Holy shit!!

Li Yu drew a deep breath—and actually blew a bubble.

In the image refracted by the bubble's surface, he saw it clearly: his entire body had turned into a fish!

That fish face, that fish belly, those fish scales—he was definitely a carp, not a mermaid!

Li Yu went rigid with fright and forgot to swish his tail. His whole fish body went pew! and sank.

Aaaah, I'm going to drown, I'm going to drown!

Just as he was about to hit a black rock on the bottom, Li Yu frantically swished his tail and paddled, putting both fins and tail to work. Luckily, he managed to stop just short of crashing into the rock, though his tail accidentally slapped against it.

Li Yu: !!!

...That really hurt.

This fishtail wasn't just for decoration. One little bump hurt so much that Li Yu blew a long string of bubbles, big and small.

What was going on? That pain felt like someone slicing into his leg with a knife...

How could pain feel so real in a dream?

Li Yu's eyes widened a little. No way. Was this not a dream at all? Had he really turned into a fish—and a perfectly ordinary carp at that??

Where on earth was he? How had this happened? Surely they couldn't turn him into an actual carp just because his name, Li Yu, sounded like "carp." More importantly, could he turn back?!

A herd of grass-mud horses—the internet's animal-shaped euphemism for 'fuck your mother'—stampeded through Li Yu's mind. Before he could figure any of it out, he heard voices nearby.

A thin, shrill voice said, "Xiao Linzi, we're still one live fish short for the Thousand-Carp Soup at Her Ladyship the Noble Consort's birthday banquet!"

Another voice promptly replied in a fawning tone, "Eunuch Gao, this fish was floating belly-up just now. I wouldn't dare serve it to Her Ladyship. I was about to throw it out. The birthday banquet comes first—why don't I get another one ready right away...?"

Li Yu: ???

He was secretly delighted to discover he wasn't alone. But what was all this about a noble consort and a eunuch? Had he actually transmigrated into a fish in an ancient imperial palace?

And what the hell was this Th-Th-Th-Th-Thousand-Carp Soup??

Before he could work it out, a sudden ray of light shone into the water above him. A slit opened in the darkness overhead, and a hand of a size Li Yu found downright shocking reached inside!

Li Yu nearly choked. That hand was enormous.

On second thought, of course it was. He'd become an ordinary fish. Naturally, a human hand would look gigantic to him.

Sensing danger instinctively, Li Yu couldn't help darting wildly through the water. The hand reached toward him without the slightest hesitation, spread its thumb and forefinger, and clamped down on him as he blundered around like a headless fly.

As a fish, Li Yu no longer had a neck. The hand squeezed most of his body instead, hurting even more than when he'd accidentally banged his tail.

Li Yu let out a yelp and thrashed his tail with all his might.

How could anyone squeeze a fish's chest and belly like that? It hurt!

But the man couldn't hear a fish's cries. He chuckled. "What a lively fish. How could it have been floating belly-up? Xiao Linzi, don't tell me you said that on purpose so you could stash it away for yourself?"

As he spoke, Li Yu's world spun. He caught a glimpse of the place he'd come out of—a fish basket, it turned out. Still pinched in the man's hand, he was brought up to eye level.

Li Yu's fish eyes abruptly found themselves looking at two men dressed as ancient palace eunuchs.

Despite his surname meaning "tall," the Eunuch Gao holding him wasn't tall at all. He looked like a round lump of white dough, while Xiao Linzi beside him resembled a thin stalk of hemp.

Xiao Linzi hurried to flatter Eunuch Gao, putting on an ingratiating smile. "With you here personally to keep things in order, Eunuch Gao, how would I dare take advantage? I must have been mistaken just now. A simple misunderstanding. Since the fish is still alive, I'll take it away and make fish soup right now..."

Still gripped in Eunuch Gao's hand, Li Yu became agitated the moment he heard that. What, what? Fish soup!!

He hadn't had time to figure out what Thousand-Carp Soup was, but "make fish soup" he understood to the very marrow of his bones. He was a fish now. They were going to cook him into soup!

Li Yu: Aaaah! Fine, squeeze me a little, but soup is out of the question!

Li Yu struggled for his life with every ounce of strength he had. Eunuch Gao had only come into the kitchen to give Xiao Linzi a dressing-down. Now that he was done, he'd intended to toss the fish in his hand to Xiao Linzi to deal with. Li Yu had stayed still in his grip for a moment, but now he suddenly started struggling again. The fish was so slippery that Eunuch Gao lost his hold—and Li Yu slipped out of his hand and went flying sideways.

Li Yu, still flailing wildly as he trailed a long streak of water through the air: !!!

What was he going to do? He was going to die, he was going to die! Could they still make soup out of him if he fell to his death?

Boo-hoo, he hadn't even figured out how he'd transmigrated into a fish yet. He didn't want to die! What if dying this time meant dying for good?

Li Yu flew helplessly toward Xiao Linzi, who reached out to catch him. But his fish body was too slippery, and Xiao Linzi couldn't get a firm grip either. Li Yu was just about to hit the floor with a splat.

Just then, a long "meooow" came from outside, and a snowy-white blur shot toward them.

In the blink of an eye, before Li Yu's tail could touch the floor, the white blur snapped him up in its mouth with a chomp.

Before Li Yu could celebrate not having fallen to his death, every scale on his body stood on end.

Holy fuck. That size, that sound—was this a fucking... big white cat?!

He'd only just escaped a human hand, and now he was in a cat's mouth!

Could a fish possibly survive once a cat had it in its jaws?!

Li Yu had never been afraid of cats before. Now that he was a fish, instinct had him scared to death. A cat's tongue was covered in barbs. Would one lick strip off great chunks of his flesh?

Li Yu was too frightened to move. At the thought of the white cat eating him down to a pile of fish bones any moment now, he decided he'd rather be made into soup.

The big white cat that had burst onto the scene paid no attention to Eunuch Gao or Xiao Linzi. With the fish in its mouth, it ran outside.

It had all happened so fast that Xiao Linzi only now caught up.

"Eunuch Gao, the fish... the cat took the fish!"

That fat, sturdy white cat... looked a little familiar.

Eunuch Gao came to his senses and gave Xiao Linzi a hard kick.

"What are you standing around for? What are you standing around for? Can't you see whose cat that is? It belongs to Her Ladyship the Noble Consort! Xiao Linzi, hurry after it. Our feline master is delicate. Don't let it choke on a fish bone, or Her Ladyship will make us pay dearly! A master's cat is half a master itself, after all..."

"Yes!"

Xiao Linzi answered miserably. These days, even a feline master was someone you couldn't afford to offend.

Carried in the big white cat's mouth with Xiao Linzi chasing behind, Li Yu had heard everything Eunuch Gao said. He'd been hoping Eunuch Gao and Xiao Linzi would get him out of the cat's mouth. After all, he was an ingredient for the fish soup, so he had at least some value. But apparently, they didn't care about a mere fish at all. They had no intention of saving him—and were worried about the cat choking on his bones instead?

Could anyone be more shameless about sucking up to whoever held the power?!

Li Yu was furious, but he had no other options. Once again, all he could do was struggle with every ounce of strength he had, trying to slip out of the cat's mouth.

But the white cat wasn't Eunuch Gao, whose abilities fell short of his pretensions. Nor did it have a habit of eating on the run. When it held Li Yu in its mouth, it held him properly. As Li Yu squirmed, the white cat's sharp teeth didn't loosen in the slightest. Instead, they clamped down even tighter.

Now Li Yu didn't dare move. He stayed obediently in the cat's mouth, with only the tip of his tail trembling, trembling, trembling.

It was too terrifying. Li Yu couldn't hold back a loud cry: "Help! Somebody save me—"

Anyone would do. As long as they got him out of the cat's mouth, he'd gladly be their ox or horse in his next life!

But not only could humans not hear a fish's words—the cat showed no reaction either.

The big white cat ran on unimpeded. Countless people along the way saw it, yet not a single one stepped forward to stop it.

Just as Eunuch Gao had said, a master's cat really was half a master itself.

Just as Li Yu found that neither heaven nor earth would answer his cries, the white cat dug all four paws into the floor tiles and slammed on the brakes, coming to an abrupt halt.

Li Yu, feeling the cat's teeth tighten again: !!!

The white cat fixed its blazing eyes straight ahead. A wary rumble rose in its throat, as though it were facing a formidable enemy. Noticing the change, Li Yu hurriedly looked in the same direction.

A young man in splendid brocade robes, his figure tall and straight, came into view. Like a god descending from heaven, he stood barring the big white cat's way.