Chapter 45

February 15, 2007, clear.

Mother agreed to let my uncle take me back to Shanghai to celebrate the New Year with Su Bocong. I heard he had just broken up, but he was still impeccably dressed and smiling, not looking too sad. I smiled, patted his shoulder, and comforted him: "It's fine, you still have money."

Su Bocong gave me a strange look, his expression melancholic: "Money isn't everything."

I retorted: "But without money, you can't do anything at all."

Su Bocong rolled his eyes, slumping deep into the sofa, completely unwilling to bother with me anymore. I thought he wouldn't talk to me again, but after a while, he suddenly stood up, poured himself a glass of wine, turned around, slightly raised his glass, and told me: "When I was at my poorest, I didn't have a single cent, and I picked up other people's cigarette butts outside Zunhuang to smoke, because there were many dignitaries there." As he spoke, he raised the cigarette he held between his fingers: "After a month of picking, someone offered me a job under him."

"Why?"

"Because I could pick up the best cigarettes every day."

Indeed, out of three hundred and sixty trades, every one can produce a champion. I suddenly understood why he always pretended to be such a strange character. On the surface, he seemed to value money above all else, yet he also seemed to utterly disdain it.

He extinguished his cigarette and told me, "I followed that boss; he was quite good at business, full of grand principles. These three lines were what he said most often."

"'Smooth sailing isn't life; instant success always hides a trap; an inch of sincere heart is worth an inch of gold.'"

I learned my lesson. If he wasn't rich, who was?

—Little Monster's Retake Diary

Zhou Siyue returned to his seat, pulled out a chair, and sat down. He opened his laptop, glanced at Yuan Fang, who was sprawled on Cao Wenjun, then rested his hand on the table before turning back. His expression was faint, as if asking a casual question.

Yuan Fang was in a dilemma and decided to tell the truth.

"Just now at the entrance, I picked her up. I went to the restroom halfway through, thinking this girl wouldn't have the patience to wait and would leave. I didn't expect her to still be there waiting for me when I picked up the second batch of students. She waited for over an hour, damn, she has real perseverance."

After a year of living together, everyone knew what kind of person their roommate was. Yuan Fang's narcissism was evident to all. Whenever a girl passed by and looked their way a little longer, Yuan Fang would hook his arm around his buddies' shoulders and say, "I've got a shot."

Hearing this, Cao Wenjun jeered: "Old Yuan, I bet a case of soda that you were all flustered back then... didn't you think that girl had fallen for you?"

Zhou Siyue's computer was open; his hand, which was opening a program, paused for a second, then he continued, unfazed.

Yuan Fang didn't retort; he argued with a flushed face and red neck: "If it were you, wouldn't you overthink it? It's not that I overthought it; it's just that this girl is too good at flirting. You don't know, when I picked up two other girls for registration, Junior Sister Ding was still leaning against a tree, waving and saying hi to me. I originally thought that girl was just average, but you don't know, the way she smiles is too..."

"Too what?"

Zhou Siyue finally looked up from his program and asked flatly.

"Misunderstanding, misunderstanding, they're all beautiful misunderstandings."

Having said that, Yuan Fang cleverly slipped away from the doorway.

Half an hour ago, Cao Wenjun took a photo of Ding Xian's "Wangfushi" (rock waiting for husband) pose and sent it to the group chat. Zhou Siyue led her outside the West Gymnasium, to the willow-shaded sports field. The two stood in front of the blue-green wire mesh.

Ding Xian struggled to place her suitcase in front of her, then retracted the handle. Only then did she look up at him. For the past year, she had dreamt constantly, with all sorts of strange people appearing in her dreams, but she had never once dreamt of him. She had consulted several psychological counselors about this, and one of them, seeing she was a high school student and hearing it was about a relationship problem, asked a few questions very perfunctorily.

"Have there been any intimate acts?"

Ding Xian thought of that kiss that day and nodded slightly.

"Sexual intercourse?"

She shook her head.

The counselor tossed his pen aside and quickly concluded: "I've seen many students like you, especially girls. When they break up, they act like it's the end of the world, even taking sleeping pills to commit suicide. Your symptoms are still mild; it's just due to your young age. At your age, you're inexperienced and strong-willed, so you tend to go to extremes in everything. You don't understand what love is; it's just unwillingness to give up."

Now, this person stood vividly before her, backlit, his gaze much calmer than before. He was no longer the boy from Yansan Hutong who often smiled at her with raised eyebrows. He was much thinner than before, his rounded features now sharp and angular, his lines cold and hard. His skin was still very fair, and his simple haircut perfectly framed his face.

Ding Xian remembered that even when he wasn't smiling before, the corners of his mouth would turn up slightly, making her always feel like he was often smiling, his eyes bright and luminous, very endearing.

He was still handsome now, but with a hint of languidness.

He didn't speak, and she didn't know what to say. The atmosphere remained tense. There weren't many people here, and the sun made her back burn, large patches of sweat soaking her clothes.

"Zhou Siyue."

Ding Xian had thought of many opening lines on the way here, but suddenly she froze again, unsure where to begin. She had even considered that he might not want to see her today, but at least he had come, and hope rekindled in her heart, her eyes shining, "I'm very happy to see you."

It wasn't until she said this that Zhou Siyue vaguely felt that this girl had changed.

Before, she always scurried after him, and sometimes a casual word from him could make her face flush. She never dared to look him in the eye, very timid, but if truly pushed, she could pounce and bite you, only to quickly back down again.

When she said she was happy to see him, Zhou Siyue suddenly looked down and scoffed. In that instant, Ding Xian felt as if she saw the boy from before, but soon, he returned to his indifferent self.

"No matter what happened this past year, Zhou Siyue, I came looking for you."

He said calmly, his hands in his pockets: "Ding Xian, I have no plans to be in a relationship right now."

"I'm not here to ask you to be in a relationship with me."

Hastily clearing things up, Ding Xian realized that now she could lie without blushing at all, not even batting an eyelid.

'Of course I am,' but she also knew that if they suddenly met after being apart and she immediately brought up a relationship, it would be strange if he wasn't scared away. Before coming, Kong Shadi had sent her a text message with an eight-character mantra: 'Definitely don't chase; men are drawn by subtlety.'

"Then what are you looking for me for?" He crossed his arms, then casually leaned against the wire mesh.

"Just seeing how my old deskmate from back then is doing, has the butcher's knife of time scraped you away?" she said, feigning ease. "I heard you just won a gold medal in the robotics competition, congratulations."

Zhou Siyue sneered, his gaze drifting into the distance, his eyes slightly narrowed: "Who told you I won an award?"

Ding Xian was startled, her smile fading.

"Ding Xian, I didn't win an award." He straightened up, the willows swaying gently behind him. Suddenly, a breeze picked up, blowing through his bangs. A faint voice came: "You see, I'm not doing as well as you imagined."

The young man turned and walked away. Ding Xian took a long moment to react. The sunlight was dazzling. She shouted at his slightly languid retreating figure, not caring about anything else.

"Smooth sailing isn't life! A gold medal is nothing; you're going to win the Turing Award one day!"

—

That night, back in her dorm room, Ding Xian received a call from Kong Shadi, who asked gossipy: "So, how was it? Was he really excited? Did you two cry your eyes out at the gate of Tsinghua University?!"

After finishing her handstand, Ding Xian sat on the bed. "Do you think it's like you and Song Ziqi?"

Kong Shadi softly scoffed, then said: "So what really happened? I'm dying of curiosity."

"He said he has no plans to be in a relationship," Ding Xian said calmly.

A disappointed 'Ah' came from the other end of the phone. "How could that be?"

"Have you ever seen a stray dog?"

Kong Shadi didn't understand. "What do you mean?"

"That's the state he's in."

"Holy crap, really? That bad? But I saw on the news before that someone even created a Tieba dedicated to cursing his dad. I can understand. Just spend more time with him; it's been so long, things will get better." Kong Shadi comforted her, "He probably really needs comfort right now."

"He's very resistant to me."

"I can understand that too. If it were me, I wouldn't want the person I like to see me in such a pathetic state."

"Are you so sure he likes me?"

"Nonsense! He used to be so good to you. Song... that dead man told me several times that Zhou Siyue lectured him repeatedly because of you. It was like he had 'I like Ding Xian' written on his forehead."

"Thank you, Shadi."

Ding Xian knew it was just comfort, but her heart still couldn't help but pound a few times.

"Don't be silly. But you must remember my words: don't actively pursue him. You need to attract him, understand attraction? Use your maternal glow to attract him, let him actively pursue you."

"Alright, alright, you've said it a hundred times."

—

Even if you can't get the man, you still have to study. No matter what, you can't let people look down on you.

Every day, apart from spending time in the library, she lived the standard three-point-line life between her dorm and the cafeteria. She hadn't seen Zhou Siyue on campus, except for one very rare occasion. When she came out of Zijing Dormitory, Ding Xian saw him from afar, walking out of the entrance with another boy. In the twilight, his newly washed hair still wasn't dry. Walking through campus, she couldn't help but steal a few more glances.

In the evening, the entire campus was enveloped in a magnificent landscape. The summer campus, bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun, was like being steeped in a pot of clear tea, carrying the fragrance of tea.

Ding Xian watched the two boys stand under the shade of a tree. Zhou Siyue had one hand in his pocket and was rubbing his wet hair with the other, casually chatting with the boy opposite him, seemingly waiting for someone.

"Siyue, Old Cao."

As the two were chatting, someone called out from not far away. Both looked over simultaneously. Zhou Siyue didn't speak, but Cao Wenjun shouted: "Can't you run a couple of steps, you punk?"

Only then did Yuan Fang start bouncing and running, smiling as he hooked his arm over Zhou Siyue's shoulder. Zhou Siyue, hands in his pockets, smiled faintly at the corner of his mouth, letting him walk out with his arm still there.

A familiar boy came up, smiling and greeting them, "Going online?"

"Want to come?" Zhou Siyue said.

The boy immediately ran off: "You guys go first, I'm going back to change."

Ding Xian suddenly felt.

He really seemed to have changed.