Chapter 44

Those days were mottled and hazy, dim and unclear. I dared not relax, fearing that if I stopped, hundreds of thousands of people would stomp over my corpse and surge forward. My mother also frequently reminded me, disdainfully urging me to give up, saying, 'Fate is determined by heaven, you don't have that luck for exams.'

I didn't believe in heaven; I only believed in him.

——Little Monster's Retake Diary

In the summer of 2007, after receiving her admission letter, Ding Xian worked odd jobs for a month, saved up a small sum, and took a full day's rumbling green-skinned train to Chengdu to visit Kong Shadi for two days.

The two girls hadn't seen each other in a year and missed each other terribly. At the bustling train station, they hugged each other tightly and wouldn't let go.

Kong Shadi lovingly touched Ding Xian's thin face, her eyes reddening. She said in a muffled voice, "Retaking the exams must have been hard, right? Look how thin you've gotten, Xianxian, my heart aches for you."

Ding Xian didn't feel it was hard; she just felt it was all worth it. Smiling, she pinched Kong Shadi's cheek, then deliberately relaxed and collapsed into Kong Shadi's arms. "It's still soft here with you... I really missed this."

Kong Shadi playfully poked her, "Where did you learn to be so mischievous?" After saying that, she suddenly grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "But I like it, you seem much more cheerful than before."

That evening, Ding Xian practiced yoga in the hotel while Kong Shadi scrolled on her phone, watched TV, and they talked about girl talk.

"So you really haven't seen Zhou Siyue since then?"

Ding Xian was doing a handstand against the wall, eyes closed, regulating her breathing. "No."

Kong Shadi: "He didn't come back for you?"

"No, he probably thought I went to study finance."

At that time, fields like finance and international trade were popular. Under the guidance of Zhou Siyue's Tsinghua University professor, she had filled out 'Financial Management' as her major, but she genuinely had little interest in financial statements. The admission letter was put into the bottom drawer as soon as it arrived home.

Kong Shadi lowered her head, scrolling on her phone without looking up. "What about the hutong? Haven't you gone back?"

"I don't know, maybe he did, maybe he didn't."

Time was up. Ding Xian exhaled and flipped down.

Kong Shadi looked at her sweat-soaked forehead. "Where did you pick up all these skills?"

For a while, whenever she missed him terribly, her mind would be a mess, unable to calm down. Someone told her that doing a handstand while reciting a text would help. She found it surprisingly effective, so she kept this habit. By a few days before the college entrance exam, she could recite all three years of her high school Chinese textbooks backward.

"Just random practice. Oh, by the way, what about you and Song Ziqi?"

Kong Shadi paused, then lowered her head, her expression dim and unclear. "He went to Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics."

Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics, wow.

Ding Xian was surprised. "That's quite impressive!"

Kong Shadi shook her head self-deprecatingly.

On the night of the graduation class party, they had agreed to break up after graduation. On the way home, Song Ziqi remained silent, wanting to say something several times, but then he'd turn to look at the girl beside him and didn't know what to say.

Having hung out with Zhou Siyue for a long time, he had been somewhat influenced, and his usual teasing and banter were forgotten.

Kong Shadi actually felt that long-distance relationships were nothing. Even if he was in Nanjing and she was in Chengdu, what did it matter if they were over a thousand kilometers apart? There were airplanes in this world. What angered her was that Song Ziqi didn't discuss it with her when he decided to become a pilot. Instead, after Jiang Chen left, he felt his good brother was chasing his dreams, got a hot-headed, and thought he should chase his dreams too, completely forgetting that he still had her.

After staying in Chengdu for two days, Ding Xian bought a sleeper ticket back to Beijing. The two girls exchanged new contact information at the train station, bid farewell reluctantly, and hugged repeatedly.

Life is like this: one journey after another, constantly setting sail, meeting different people, and starting new lives.

After a tiring journey, she returned to Beijing City. For the remaining days, accompanied by Ye Wanxian's nagging, Ding Xian spent her time eating, drinking, and sleeping until Tsinghua University finally started classes.

September 2007, the summer heat was scorching. Zijing Dormitory annually welcomed a large influx of fresh blood. The campus was filled with junior students, dragging suitcases, brimming with intense curiosity about every corner of the school. Around each new student, several parents gathered, and some even set up tents on the lawn for parents who came to send their children off.

Ding Xian got out of the taxi, dragging her luggage, and looked around. She was all alone, standing solitarily. Ye Wanxian had wanted to come, but Ding Xian refused, knowing well that if Ye Wanxian came, it would definitely not be a good start.

Looking ahead, the lush greenery was refreshing. She theatrically closed her eyes and took two deep breaths of fresh air.

"Student, do you need any help?"

Ding Xian was startled. Following the sound, she turned back and saw a boy wearing glasses smiling politely at her. His features were quite proper, but he had some acne on his face, and the dark circles under his glasses were unmistakable, indicating an erratic schedule.

She quickly smiled. "Thank you, Senior Brother."

The boy chuckled. "You're a local?"

Ding Xian wanted to say she was from the countryside. The boy picked up her luggage and was already walking ahead, chatting casually with her. "What's your major?"

"Computer Science."

The boy looked back at her. "What a coincidence, me too."

"Sophomore?"

"Yeah. Class of '06. My name is Yuan Fang, what's yours?"

"Ding Xian." She walked slowly behind him, her head down, while feigning curiosity and asking, "Senior Brother Yuan Fang, is this major particularly hard? I heard many programmers stay up so late they get palpitations."

"Isn't that the true depiction of your bro here? My heart beats faster than average..." Yuan Fang gave a bitter smile, pointing to his sweaty forehead. "The sweat dripping from my forehead now, isn't it just the water that got into my head when I chose my major back then? Girls shouldn't study this; it's best to apply for a major transfer in your sophomore year."

Staying up late, palpitations, heart flutters, dark circles.

Ding Xian silently noted these words in her mind and chuckled. "Were there any exceptionally impressive people in your year? I heard a few seniors say that all the amazing ones were in your year."

Indeed, several legends in their year were already renowned shortly after enrollment. Yuan Fang felt honored by the praise, scratched his head, and replied, "Yes, there are quite a few. They are all competition students who won national awards, and several were on the national mathematics competition team back then. There's also one who works on robots, very impressive. He just won a gold medal in a robotics competition recently."

A gold medal, that must be quite impressive.

Sure enough, wherever he was, he would always be a person who shone brightly and radiated warmth.

'Hmm, that's Zhou Siyue...'

Mid-conversation, Yuan Fang suddenly stopped, lowered his head, handed the suitcase back to Ding Xian, and stammered, "Uh, Junior Student Ding, Senior Brother needs to use the restroom."

Ding Xian quickly took it, politely saying, "Please go quickly."

However, he left and didn't come back. Ding Xian waited for half an hour but saw no one return. But he hadn't told her to go alone, and she was afraid he might suddenly come back for her, so she didn't dare to leave. She obediently waited for another hour in the same spot. Only when she was certain that he wouldn't be returning did Ding Xian finally leave.

However, as soon as she turned two corners, she heard a familiar voice from behind.

"Our Computer Science Department really has a lot of handsome guys, don't disbelieve it. My dorm next door has two who are tall and handsome. Next time I'll take you guys to play games."

Yuan Fang was carrying a suitcase in one hand, walking ahead of two girls, enthusiastically praising the handsome guys in the Computer Science Department as being devastatingly attractive along the way. Yuan Fang was a witty talker, completely devoid of the dullness and rigidity of a science and engineering major. He was well-versed in flirting techniques, saying whatever pleased the ear, making the two girls lean forward and back, laughing heartily.

"When I first started university, a buddy and I played games at an internet cafe for three nights straight without even breathing. Now I can't handle that kind of energy. If I pull an all-nighter coding, the next morning I see stars, I'm not kidding."

"Later, you two give me your numbers. If anything comes up, just call me."

Yuan Fang was smiling at one of the girls, with a shy glint in his eyes. So he had come here to flirt. Although it had nothing to do with her, Ding Xian also had a mischievous streak deep down. Time was life, and she couldn't waste this hour for nothing. So she put her suitcase aside and leaned against a nearby tree.

When Yuan Fang passed by with the two girls, Ding Xian gave him a sweet smile and waved casually. "Hi~ Senior Brother Yuan Fang."

Yuan Fang was startled. He turned around and saw, 'Oh, this young lady hasn't left yet?'

"Junior Sister Ding—"

'Why are you still here?'

How to put it? Yuan Fang had originally come today to take the initiative. He saw Ding Xian, thought she wasn't bad, and decided to give it a try. Then he turned around, saw someone better, and his thoughts drifted away. He had thought Ding Xian would eventually leave if she didn't find him, but unexpectedly, this girl was too persistent.

Ding Xian leaned against the tree, slowly and smilingly said, "It's fine, Senior Brother, I'm just enjoying the cool air—"

Yuan Fang thought, 'Pfft!'

'You're getting back at me, aren't you? It seems that even after a year of university life, your charm hasn't diminished at all.'

'Although this girl isn't as pretty as the one behind her, she's quite attractive in a lasting way,' Yuan Fang thought to himself. 'How about I play hard to get first?' He feigned indifference and said, "Then you enjoy the cool air. I'll take them over first."

Ding Xian's expression didn't change. "Okay."

—

That evening, when Yuan Fang returned to his dorm, he heard his roommates, for once, gossiping.

"Studying for Tsinghua University for love, that's truly grand."

He curiously leaned closer. "Who? Who's studying for Tsinghua University for love?"

Cao Wenjun handed him his phone, looking regretful:

"It's this girl. You wouldn't guess, right? Such a refined girl, why would she be so unreasonable?"

Yuan Fang stared at the phone, finding it increasingly familiar, and then when he matched it with a face he'd seen that afternoon, his entire body jolted, and he almost fell off his chair.

"Holy crap, Ding Xian?"

Suddenly, a clear yet indifferent voice came from the doorway. "What, you know her?"