Chapter 39

'I'm enchanted by a demon, Buddha, save me.'

——Little Monster's Diary

Sometimes, impulsiveness is a momentary evil thought, no need for courage.

Ding Xian didn't care about anything, she closed her eyes, stood on tiptoe, leaned forward, wanting to take a bite out of his cheek.

As soon as she made a move, a hand pressed her back against the wall. Zhou Siyue's large, warm, dry hand covered her face. Ding Xian peered through his fingers, seeing him look down at her. "What are you doing?!"

She shrunk her neck, her whole body honestly pressing back against the wall. "Nothing..."

The young man smiled, let go, put his hands back in his pockets, turned and walked towards the room, leaving a remark: "Grab your test paper and come here, three minutes."

Ding Xian stuck out her tongue at his retreating back, then dashed back to her room at light speed. "It's too late, let's talk about it tomorrow."

After saying that, she gave him no room to speak, "Bang—" closing the door.

Zhou Siyue stood at the door, his brows furrowed. After a long moment, he shook his head and closed the door.

Winter arrived early in Beijing in 2005. Light snow began to fall in early November. When Ding Xian woke up, the weather outside had changed, adorned in a fluffy white blanket of snow. Small snowflakes danced and swirled, landing on the window, like tiny white feathers. Red walls and dark tiles stood amidst this snowy world, adding a touch of tranquility.

During this PE class, Ding Xian's period was brought on early by the cold weather. She lay on her seat, feeling weak all over, and drowsily slept for a few minutes. Suddenly, she felt a weight on her, as if something was covering her. Opening her groggy eyes, she was about to get up when someone pressed her head back onto the desk. A familiar voice came from above her: "Class isn't over, keep sleeping."

Zhou Siyue tossed a thick book, Olympiad Classics, onto the desk, pulled up Kong Shadi's chair, and sat down, starting to do practice problems. Without looking at her, he said, "Go to sleep quickly. When you wake up, I'll go over the test paper with you for ten minutes."

Ding Xian lay on the desk, covered by his down jacket, blinking as she watched the young man's profile as he buried his head in practice problems. She stared for a long time, unwilling to look away, as if observing a rare object.

Perhaps her gaze was too intense, Zhou Siyue noticed and suddenly turned his face: "If you're not sleeping, then I'll explain it to you now?"

Ding Xian quickly closed her eyes, feigning sleep.

Zhou Siyue looked at her like that, shaking his head repeatedly, and said earnestly, "When did you become so disinclined to study?"

"When did you start caring so much about my grades?" Ding Xian replied with her eyes closed.

"I'm worried you won't get into a good university."

"That's none of your business either."

At this point, if they continued, they would likely start arguing again. Zhou Siyue fell silent, only giving her a deep look before turning back to his problems. After a long while, the girl he thought was asleep spoke again, her voice soft: "It's not that I don't like studying, I'm just afraid of holding you back..."

Zhou Siyue's pen tip paused slightly. He didn't turn his head, his gaze fixed on the book.

Ding Xian continued, "You're pressed for time, don't always worry about me. For now, focus on preparing for the competition. I'll adjust my state and catch up."

In the quiet afternoon, the classroom was empty except for the two of them sitting by the window. One was lying down, the other hunched over, writing problems. The heating was high, and the windows were covered with a thick layer of fog, obscuring the outside world.

Her voice was low, echoing in the book-filled classroom, so sensible it tugged at one's heartstrings.

Zhou Siyue turned to stare at her for a moment. After a pause, he gently tapped the desk with his pen, saying each word with extreme seriousness: "What I want isn't for you to merely keep up, understand?"

Ding Xian instantly opened her eyes. Zhou Siyue was staring at her without blinking, his dark eyes like cold stars, showing an urgency she had never seen before.

"Aim for Tsinghua University, alright?" he said.

From childhood, Ding Xian, this girl, wasn't exactly smart, but sometimes she was quick-witted and could play clever.

Ye Changqing liked her. Since she was little, he had kept her by his side to learn drawing and sketching, and was surprised to find that the girl learned quite well. However, he was not influential at the time and didn't have much say. No matter how much the girl liked it, her sister was unwilling to spend money on her, and he had no right to decide her future path. He could only occasionally take her out to sketch outdoors.

At that time, not only Ye Wanxian, but most parents around them believed that learning art, music, or any art form was for children of wealthy families. For their low-income families, even sending a child to school was incredibly difficult. With this mindset from a young age, Ding Xian also knew that her chances of studying art were almost zero, so she put most of her attention into academics. All along, she was well-behaved and sensible, with excellent grades, deeply loved by teachers and parents. Despite this, she had never considered something like getting into Tsinghua University.

Although many children love to express their ambitions in front of elders and relatives, saying they want to get into Tsinghua and Peking Universities when they grow up.

But Ding Xian had never uttered such ambitious words since childhood, nor had she ever thought about it. Her demands for herself were simple: just leave Beijing, the further the better. In any case, she absolutely wouldn't stay in Beijing.

This instantly disrupted all her plans.

Before this, she had only wanted to go to Hangzhou for an ordinary undergraduate degree. So she cherished the time she had now with Zhou Siyue, fearing that in the future, she would go south, he would stay north, and they wouldn't know when they'd see each other again.

Ding Xian was very clear about her current grades; she was hovering outside the key university admission line. With good luck, she might just barely pass; with bad luck, she would only be able to choose a good major at a second-tier university. Let alone getting into Tsinghua University, which required more than a hundred points above the key admission line.

"I can't get in."

Zhou Siyue snorted with a laugh: "You can't get in and yet you don't know how to study properly? Spending all day messing around with Kong Shadi, I've realized you need to be managed. If I don't keep an eye on you for three days, you'll be tearing off roof tiles; you have no self-awareness at all."

Ding Xian's lower abdomen suddenly cramped, making her gasp in pain. She had no strength to reply, and in his harsh mocking, she lowered her head in shame: "I'll try."

Zhou Siyue came back with a cup of hot water at some point. He placed the cup on the desk, told her to drink it while it was hot, then ignored her and went back to his practice problems.

Ding Xian held the cup, teasing him intentionally: "Quite experienced, aren't you, young man?"

Zhou Siyue laughed and cursed, "Nonsense."

Without lifting his head, he casually answered a multiple-choice question and continued nonchalantly: "When I was little, I had a dog, and I used to rub her belly every month."

'Dogs get period cramps too?'

Ding Xian looked at him in disbelief, blankly failing to react, unable to imagine the scene. Zhou Siyue shook with laughter, leaning back in his chair, rubbing her head and saying, "Aren't you silly? You believe that."

When the two of them returned home from school, before they even entered the door, they heard a tearing sound of an argument from inside. Both were startled, exchanging glances. Outside the red wall, in the snow, they stood there foolishly for a while.

"Bang!"

A loud noise came from inside.

Immediately after, there were three more sounds.

"Bang!"

"Bang!"

"Bang!"

It was as if three muffled claps of thunder exploded in the snowy night. Mrs. Zhou's heart-wrenching sobs came from inside. "Zhou Zongtang! You bastard!"

Zhou Zongtang sat on the sofa, supporting his forehead with his hand, his tone quite helpless: "Stop making a fuss, the children will be back soon."

"Yesterday you said you went drinking with Old Zheng, but this afternoon I was playing mahjong with Old Zheng's wife, and she said Old Zheng stayed home last night tutoring his son! Zhou Zongtang, you lied to me!"

"I didn't lie to you, Old Zheng really did go. It's just that he got a call later and went back first. How would I know why Old Zheng's wife would say that? If you don't believe me, ask Old Jiang to testify. Old Jiang was with me the entire time last night."

"Bullshit! Old Jiang is your man, he's lied for you once, do you think I'll believe him again? Zhou Zongtang, if you have someone else out there, can you just tell me soon?! Stop tormenting me like this!!" Li Jinhui shrieked hoarsely.

"I already said there isn't! Stop it, Xiao Hui. I'm a grown man, wouldn't I have some sense of propriety? We've been married for so many years, when have I ever done anything to wrong you?!"

"Last time, there was a young girl at your work following you, calling you 'Director Zhou' this and 'Director Zhou' that. Old Zheng's wife said a young girl from your office asked you out to dinner, just assume I'm stupid!"

"Are you having another episode?!" Zhou Zongtang was furious. "Old Zheng's wife just loves to stir up trouble, and you're the only one who believes what she says. That's enough, Jinhui. If you keep this up, Siyue will be back!"

Perhaps genuinely afraid of Zhou Siyue returning, Li Jinhui sobbed once more, and the sounds from inside gradually faded.

That night, Zhou Siyue didn't speak again. After eating, he went back to his room. When Ding Xian came out after finishing her homework, she could still see a faint yellow light through the door crack. Mrs. Zhou was carrying a cup of milk towards his room. Seeing Ding Xian emerge, she quickly smoothed her hair, made a shushing gesture, and softly asked her, "Are you hungry?"

Facing such a Mrs. Zhou.

Ding Xian couldn't connect her with the hoarse, screaming voice from that afternoon.

She shook her head.

Mrs. Zhou then began to subtly probe: "Siyue seemed unhappy when he came back this afternoon. Did something happen at school?"

Ding Xian shook her head again, covering for him: "No, he's probably just too tired from studying lately."

Mrs. Zhou nodded thoughtfully, gently stroking Ding Xian's small head.

"Good girl. Go to bed early. I'm going to take him a cup of milk."

Ding Xian blinked, "Aunt Zhou, let me take it for you. I happen to have a question to ask him."

Mrs. Zhou readily agreed, handing her the tray, which also held a few slices of bread for him to eat in the evening to curb his hunger.

Ding Xian took the plate and held it. Mrs. Zhou gave them a couple more instructions to go to bed early. Just as she turned to leave, she turned back again: "Oh, right, Xianxian, Siyue has an exam next Saturday, and I'm planning to go to Yonghe Temple to burn incense. I'll also pray for your college entrance exam while I'm there. Do you want to come along?"

Ding Xian nodded repeatedly, "Okay."

Mrs. Zhou was relieved, exclaiming repeatedly that having a daughter was truly good.

Ding Xian watched Mrs. Zhou's back disappear around the corner. Just as she turned, the door behind her opened. Zhou Siyue leaned against the doorframe, looking down at her: "You're going to burn incense?"

"Didn't you tell me to aim for Tsinghua University? I'm going to get on good terms with Buddha first, so he'll go easy on me on exam day."

Zhou Siyue chuckled and turned to go inside.

Ding Xian followed him in with the tray, closed the door, and placed the items on the desk.

Unexpectedly, his room was a bit messier than she had imagined. A pile of books was haphazardly scattered on the desk, leaving just enough space to squeeze in the tray. The bookshelf next to the desk was filled with various magazines and competition books, and surprisingly, military theory books as well.

After putting things down, Ding Xian looked at the books on his shelf with curiosity. "You like military stuff?"

Zhou Siyue took a bite of bread, glanced up, and said indifferently, "Mm."

Ding Xian nodded thoughtfully, "Oh." She glanced at him. The young man wasn't very interested, keeping his head down as he worked on his paper.

Ding Xian had nowhere to sit and could only stand. It wouldn't be good to just lie on someone's bed without saying a word, especially since the owner hadn't spoken. Just as she thought this, the owner, who was working on problems, suddenly spoke: "I didn't have time to clean up, find an empty spot and sit down yourself."

"I won't sit. I just wanted to tell you that I won't tell anyone what I saw and heard at your house. No one. Besides, what couple doesn't argue? Don't worry, I won't say a single word."

Ding Xian raised three fingers as a pledge of loyalty.

Hearing this, Zhou Siyue tilted his head slightly, gently pressing his cheek with his tongue, a faint smile on his face. He tossed his pen, then suddenly spun his chair around so its back was against the edge of the desk. Crossing his arms over his chest, he raised an eyebrow at her, then pointed downwards—motioning for her to sit on the bed opposite him.

Ding Xian slowly moved over.

Zhou Siyue grew impatient and directly pressed down on her shoulders. Ding Xian was pushed onto the foot of the bed. Their gazes finally met, with him being slightly taller and looking down a little.

"Do you think I'm not as happy as I seem on the surface, and that makes you feel more balanced inside?"

"No."

"Tell the truth."

"Okay, a little, but absolutely no schadenfreude."

Zhou Siyue looked at her and slowly explained: "My mom doesn't work. All her focus in life is on my dad. But my dad is busy with work and doesn't have much time to be with her and comfort her. So she always suspects he's cheating. She hears a rumor and believes it's true, and as soon as she finds a slight clue, she comes home to demand answers, causing chaos. This isn't a one-time or two-time thing; it happens often. I'm used to it. You don't even need to comfort me. My mom is foolish; she never suffered hardships growing up and always believes the world is peaceful and everyone is good to her. But all these things, I remember."

"You..."

She looked at him hesitantly, clutching the corner of her clothes.

The young man gave a self-deprecating smile: "Do you think I'm not as good as you imagined?"

She waved her hands repeatedly, 'No, no, how could that be—'

"I think you're very good, really."

Hearing him say that, Ding Xian became anxious and blurted it out, eager to gain his affirmation. As she looked up, she met his deep eyes.

In the dead of night, all was silent. Outside the window, it was pitch black, everything had fallen asleep, flowers and leaves unspoken.

Inside the room, the two gazed at each other intently, making Ding Xian feel a thrilling sensation in that moment, as if something was about to break free. She felt her heart rate involuntarily quicken. His gaze was profound and intense, even striking at her soul.

"Some things are best left unsaid, even when understood. Ding Xian, stay with me, and I won't let you suffer any wrongs."

This man really knows how to win people over.