Chapter 38

All ambiguous emotions are hidden in the lines of time.

He said, "Then from now on, I'll get your approval for any girlfriend I find."

Then be prepared to stay single.

—Little Monster's Diary

A few days after the start of Senior Three, Ding Xian's grandmother fell seriously ill. Her eldest sister from the countryside called Ye Wanxian, saying they needed to hire a nursing aide, but the monthly nursing fee was one thousand yuan, plus her three siblings in the countryside each had to pay two hundred yuan per month.

The Ding Family was already struggling at that time, with no savings. Ye Wanxian had just been laid off and was unemployed, and with a family of four waiting to eat, the couple discussed it and concluded that it would be better for her to go back to the countryside herself to take care of her mother, rather than spending that unnecessary money. But if she left, the two children would be left without care. Father Ding was working as a supervisor out of town at that time and couldn't come home for half a year. Coincidentally, that day Li Jinhui was playing mahjong with some ladies at the Jiang Residence at the Hutong's entrance. Ye Wanxian mentioned her predicament, and Li Jinhui generously offered: "Wanxian, Xianxian is in Senior Three now, she can't handle your back and forth. If it really comes to it, Old Zhou and I can help you look after her for a while."

Li Jinhui was famously warm-hearted in that alley. Pampered by her parents since childhood, and pampered by her husband and son after marriage, she had no guard against anyone and loved to meddle in everyone's family affairs. Not to mention, she was also her father-in-law's childhood close friend. Her words were spoken with such conviction that even someone like Ye Wanxian was deeply moved, and she hesitated, saying, "Would this be too much trouble for you?"

Li Jinhui stacked her cards, genuinely took Ye Wanxian's hand, and said, "It's no trouble at all. She's in the same class as Siyue anyway, so let them go to school together."

Ye Wanxian was so moved that tears welled up in her eyes: "Oh!"

So, that evening, Ding Xian's luggage was packed and she was 'thrown' into the Zhou Family's house. Ye Wanxian, on the other hand, took her son and rushed back to Yanping Village overnight to attend to her mother at her bedside. Before leaving, Ye Wanxian also spoke frankly to Ding Xian: "I'll be gone for quite a while. You stay at the Zhou Family's house for now. Your grandmother is seriously ill, so we need to fulfill our filial duty, right? Also, about your grandmother's house, your uncles are all eyeing it. Originally, your youngest uncle wanted to find someone to pay for it, but after I carefully discussed it with him, this time when I go back, I'll have your grandmother leave the house to us. I can't take care of her for nothing, can I? You, in the meantime, stay obedient at the Zhou Family's house and wait for Mom to come back."

Ding Xian blinked her dazed eyes, suddenly feeling that everyone seemed to have become unrecognizable in the face of her grandmother's serious illness.

"Mom, can I not go to the Zhou Family's house?" she whispered.

"Your dad and I aren't here, and we're not comfortable with you, a girl, living here alone. It's only temporary, I'll be back as soon as possible." Ye Wanxian bent down and squeezed her shoulder, "Are you worried Zhou Siyue will bully you? Don't worry, Aunt Zhou said she'd help you."

Ding Xian shook her head.

She simply hated "living under someone else's roof." Living in someone else's house, eating their food, using their things, it made her feel beholden to them, already making her unable to hold her head high. All the more so when the person was Zhou Siyue, the boy she liked so much.

But the adult world doesn't allow children to argue.

Ye Wanxian quickly gave a couple of instructions and then left with her son. Ding Xian sat alone on the sofa for a long time, until someone knocked on the door.

Zhou Siyue was dressed casually in a sports outfit, with black headphones around his neck. He had just returned from a run with Jiang Chen. Seeing the dark room inside, he ran a hand through his hair, "Why aren't the lights on?"

"Why are you here?"

"My mom asked me to pick you up."

Ding Xian unlatched the door, turned to walk inside, and plopped onto the sofa: "I'm not going."

Zhou Siyue unceremoniously pressed a hand on her head, "What's wrong? Is going to my house an injustice to you?"

"That's not what I mean, don't overthink it."

Ding Xian lowered her eyes and said softly.

Zhou Siyue leaned against the TV, hands in his pockets, looking like a big boy, and said, "Then what do you mean?"

"Zhou Siyue, if your mom were sick, would you negotiate terms when she's ill?"

"Negotiate what terms?" The boy slightly furrowed his brow.

"Inheritance."

The boy slightly raised an eyebrow, probably understanding Ding Xian's meaning. Before he could speak, Ding Xian continued: "I once read a story in a book. The gist of it was, a father often beat and scolded his old father in middle age, starved him, and wouldn't let him eat or sleep. When that father grew old, his own son also frequently beat and kicked him, righteously hitting him while shouting, 'That's how you used to hit Grandpa.' It was passed down from generation to generation like that."

Zhou Siyue scratched his brow, sighed, "Just uphold your own heart. Didn't the ancients say, 'Do not wrongly wear the skin of a human child with an unfilial body'? You're old enough now, you have your own sense of right and wrong, you don't need others to remind you."

Ding Xian gave a bitter smile: "What if one day, I turn bad and can't distinguish right from wrong?"

Zhou Siyue stared at her unblinkingly, a faint tug at the corner of his mouth, and said with certainty, "You won't. Even if you did, don't you still have me?"

"We can't be together forever, you know, once we go to university..." Ding Xian looked up at him, her voice trailing off, "You'll find a girlfriend then, right? Our relationship won't be as good as it is now... Would you still trust me unconditionally then?"

Zhou Siyue suddenly laughed: "Then from now on, I'll definitely get your approval before finding a girlfriend, alright?"

Ding Xian suddenly looked up at him, noticing the half-smile on the boy's lips. Her heart skipped a beat, and she quickly lowered her head again, letting out a soft "Oh" in disappointment.

Zhou Siyue straightened up, picked up the suitcase by the sofa with one hand, his other hand still in his pocket, and slightly tilted his head towards her: "Let's go, my mom's waiting at home."

Outside the window, the moonlight grew stronger, like a light veil covering everything. The trees rustled softly.

Two figures, one tall and one short, walked through West Alley End. One casually asked, "Hey, if one day I turn bad, what about you? What would you do?"

"I don't know, I'd probably be very disappointed." The girl sighed, "You really must keep your original intention. I can't imagine what you'd be like if you turned bad."

Someone vigorously ruffled her head.

"Idiot."

Life at the Zhou Family's house was, to say the least, chaotic.

Mrs. Zhou had specially cleared out a guest room on the second floor for Ding Xian. It was opposite the master bedroom, and next to Zhou Siyue's room. The two of them already saw each other every day at school, and now at home, they saw each other constantly. They were as familiar with each other as family, and spoke without any reservations.

Especially in the mornings, rushing to school, there was only one bathroom on the second floor. Zhou Siyue was often forced by the early-rising Ding Xian to go downstairs to wash his face and brush his teeth. Even after he was done, Ding Xian still wasn't out, and he had to lean against the door and wait for her. So, on the way to school, pushing his bike, he would grumble endlessly: "So slow, takes so long to wash your face. Girls are just troublesome."

Ding Xian, who was being urged by him knocking on the door every day while she washed her face, was also furious. Unable to contain her anger, she retorted: "Don't you know women are naturally troublesome? If you're so capable, don't get a girlfriend in the future, hmph!"

After shouting, she tightened her backpack straps and scurried away.

Zhou Siyue got on his bike, cursed softly, "Spoiled brat!" and rode off in a flash.

As his bike wheels rolled past Ding Xian, the boy maliciously rang his bell a few times, then whooshed away. Ding Xian gnashed her teeth, staring at his arrogant back.

"Immature!!!"

Back in the classroom, Kong Shadi chased after her, asking, "How's life living with your male god?"

Ding Xian shoved her backpack into her desk, saying resentfully, "Take out the 'living together' part. Male god? He's just a lunatic."

Kong Shadi sighed, shaking her head repeatedly, "Don't be ungrateful for the blessings you have. I don't even get a chance to live with Song Ziqi. I just heard girls from other classes asking about our Young Master Zhou again. That infatuated look, tsk tsk..."

Ding Xian's nerves tensed up again. She looked back at a certain someone's seat. Coincidentally, Zhou Siyue was also chatting idly with Song Ziqi. His gaze casually swept over, and their eyes suddenly met for two seconds. Zhou Siyue let out a low cough and was the first to look away.

Ding Xian realized, quickly turned back, her ears red.

Zhou Siyue leaned back loosely in his chair, looked at her reddened earlobes, and smiled, lowering his head.

It turned out that all ambiguous emotions were hidden in the lines of time.

And all the answers you seek lie within these ambiguous emotions.

In September, for the annual National Mathematics Competition, it was rare that He Xingwen actually gave up on this year's competition, shocking everyone. They had thought he would stick with this path until the very end. According to Liu Xiaofeng's retelling of a conversation he overheard between Liu Jiang and several teachers in the office, He Xingwen's father died in an accident at the workshop during the summer vacation. The sole breadwinner was gone, and the He Family instantly collapsed. He Xingwen had no time to review for the competition throughout the entire summer, and coupled with his previous experiences, he decided to give up.

In mid-September, Liu Jiang organized a fundraiser for He Xingwen in the class.

The boy, who was originally quite arrogant, now stood on the podium with his head bowed. In front of him was a square red donation box. Ding Xian stared at it for a long time, pulled out change from her bag, and gathered a total of fifty yuan.

Kong Shadi clamored, refusing to donate, because she felt He Xingwen was a bad person at heart, and helping him now would be assisting a tyrant in his evil deeds.

Song Ziqi patted her head, "That's not how you use 'assisting a tyrant in his evil deeds.' This is a separate matter. Although I don't really like him either, he's in trouble, so we should still do our part. Being so vengeful isn't a good look for a big man."

"You're the big man," Kong Shadi squinted, "How much did you donate? Five hundred? That's too much!"

At the same time, Ding Xian looked at the money in Zhou Siyue's hand, which was as thick as Song Ziqi's. In truth, she was also a bit reluctant. Being reported for dating, being reported for cheating on exams – Ding Xian was almost certain it was all He Xingwen's doing. Apart from him, no one else could pull off such despicable things. She whispered to Zhou Siyue, "If I don't donate, will you think I'm bad?"

"No."

"How about you don't donate either? He probably reported you for the last exam."

Hearing this, Song Ziqi interjected, "Don't say 'probably,' it was him. Old Yang even talked to him about it. Siyue already knew."

Ding Xian was stunned: "You knew?"

"Mm." Zhou Siyue smiled: "Although he's a sneaky person and his actions aren't manly, if I, as a man, stoop to quibble with him, wouldn't I become just like him? Besides, this money isn't for him, it's for his grandparents. Think about it, the two elderly people just lost their son. How sad would they be if they found out their grandson was so disliked?"

Ding Xian realized, looking at him: "You're so thoughtful."

Having grown up, few people had ever praised him to his face like that. Even those neighbors who knew him understood that this kid had a sharp tongue but a kind heart; no matter how mischievous or troublesome he was, he wouldn't do anything truly outrageous. But no one had ever called him thoughtful before. He was pleased, but his words remained unforgiving. He squinted at her: "What the hell is 'thoughtful'? This is what a man should do."

Ding Xian especially loved hearing him refer to himself as 'a man.' It made her feel incredibly secure. On such occasions, she would always nod and bow in cooperation: "Yes, yes, Mr. Zhou."

"Such virtue."

Zhou Siyue was amused.

After that, Zhou Siyue completely entered competition mode. This time, he didn't even go to play basketball. During class breaks, he'd be holed up in his seat doing practice papers. After school, he'd go home and continue doing practice papers. Sometimes, Ding Xian would get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and find the light next door still on.

Afraid of disturbing him, Ding Xian didn't dare to wear shoes. She simply tiptoed barefoot across the floor. In late October, the floor was icy cold, and the chill went straight to her soles.

After only two steps.

The door clicked open. The boy, in pajamas, came out rubbing his hair. He immediately spotted the timid Ding Xian, pulled her over, his voice slightly hoarse: "Not asleep yet?"

"Woke up from holding it in."

Zhou Siyue let her go, looked down at her bare feet, and seeing her appearance, largely understood. He vigorously ruffled her hair and pushed her back into her room: "Go back and put on your shoes!"

Ding Xian put on her shoes and chased back out. Zhou Siyue was brushing his teeth in front of the mirror, his dark circles so obvious that Ding Xian couldn't bear to look. She leaned against the door and started talking to him.

"You look like a little old man now."

Zhou Siyue didn't care at all. He grunted, gargled water, spat it out, and then casually said, "Is that so?"

Ding Xian patted his shoulder in encouragement: "I hope you can get through this."

Zhou Siyue again took a mouthful of mouthwash, tilted his head to glance at her, shrugged, brushed her hand away, then bent down to spit out the water. Without lifting his head, he said while rinsing his toothbrush: "I hear you scored over ninety in math again? Things are grim, young lady."

Ding Xian turned to leave, "It's two-thirty, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

As a result, she was grabbed by the collar and dragged back. Zhou Siyue pulled her along, striding towards her room, "It's only two-thirty, still early. Come here, I'll go over the papers with you."

"Entering a girl's room in the middle of the night to go over papers? Are you up to no good?!"

Zhou Siyue didn't let go, and changed direction: "Fine, then let's go to my room."

Ding Xian struggled, her body almost twisted into a pretzel, "I'm not going, I want to sleep."

Zhou Siyue lifted her against the wall: "Don't move."

Then he folded his arms in front of him, looked her up and down, took a deep breath, and, afraid of waking his sleeping parents, lowered his voice, speaking with a slight hiss, "How come I've noticed you're a bit disinclined to study lately? You chat with Kong Shadi in class, don't do homework after class, and just play around when you get home. Miss, you're in Senior Three, what kind of random things are you thinking about all day?"

Ding Xian seemed frozen, her face slightly tilted up, staring blankly at his slightly angry handsome face. Her gaze slowly moved down from his soft hair, stopping at the boy's slightly prominent Adam's apple, which was subtly moving...

She swallowed.

Besides his soft breathing, only one sound remained in her ears—

'Kiss him, kiss him!'