He Had Waited Many Years for This 'I Like You'

Hearing this, Jiang Xu paused the pen he was twirling. The pen rolled with a clatter to the corner of the desk. He picked it up a beat later and asked, "Did they say why he took leave?"

The little admin assistant shook her head. "I'm not sure."

Jiang Xu didn't speak. His body slowly sank into the back of his chair, looking a little absent-minded. Upon learning that Gu Qingzhou wasn't coming today, the energy he had forced himself to muster also dissipated. Sleepiness washed over him like a tide, so he simply laid his head on the desk to catch up on sleep.

Li Si'ao saw the distinct dark circles under his eyes and kicked his chair. "What were you up to last night? Sleeping on the job again, and you've only been diligent for a few days? If Manager Gu catches you, he'll dock your pay."

Jiang Xu buried his face in his arms, his expression unclear. His voice was muffled, "He's not here today anyway, who's going to care if I sleep."

Hearing this, Li Si'ao thought that made sense and didn't bother him further. He just said, "Let's have dinner together after work today. I've already booked a place."

Jiang Xu didn't look up and casually agreed.

Gu Qingzhou wasn't at the company today, but it didn't seem much different from usual. Everyone chatted and laughed as they always did; the world wouldn't stop spinning just because one person was missing. The only one who felt out of sorts was probably Jiang Xu.

That feeling he couldn't describe, it was a bit empty...

At dinner that evening, Li Si'ao had chosen a hot pot restaurant. Including Fang Qia and Fan Jiajia, there were originally supposed to be four people, but for some reason, Fan Jiajia didn't come at the last minute. So it ended up being just Jiang Xu eating with the newly-minted couple.

Jiang Xu looked at Li Si'ao and Fang Qia sitting across from him, inexplicably feeling like a huge third wheel. He said with an ambiguous tone, "Three people eating hot pot, don't you think it's a bit quiet?"

Fang Qia seemed to sense his speechlessness. She spread her hands and said, "Nothing to be done. I originally invited Jiajia, but I don't know what happened to her. She seemed to be in a bad mood, so she didn't come."

Li Si'ao was less tactful and didn't think too much of it. He said while swishing meat in the pot, "We're all so close, we know each other inside and out. What's there for you to be awkward about? Don't tell me we need to find a pretty girl to keep you company."

Jiang Xu hid his emotions well; no one could see that something was amiss with him. Hearing that, he joked back as usual, "That'd be great. Go ahead and find one if you can."

Fang Qia seemed to recall something, and her movement of picking up food froze for a moment. She glanced at Li Si'ao beside her, and all her complex emotions dissolved into relief. She smiled faintly and said wistfully, "Jiang Xu, I'm really curious what kind of person you'll fall in love with. If you get a partner someday, remember to bring them over for us to meet."

Jiang Xu had unknowingly finished a bottle of beer beside him and was now opening his second drink. Hearing her, his hand holding the bottle paused, and he laughed so hard he lowered his head. "I'd also like to know who I'll like. But right now, I don't even understand what 'liking' someone feels like. I should just stay single."

The hot pot restaurant was perpetually steamy and noisy. Jiang Xu sat across from them, his back to the main door. For a moment, his figure seemed to merge with the night, a boundless loneliness spreading out from him, completely at odds with the lively surroundings.

Fang Qia was a bit stuffed from eating. She leaned lazily against Li Si'ao's shoulder to digest. Hearing Jiang Xu, she swung her feet and said, "Liking someone is very simple. It's... how should I explain it to you? You're happy when you see her. You get jealous when you see her with someone else. You want to give her all the best things. You want to spend the rest of your life with her. It's probably a feeling like that."

Jiang Xu listened very attentively. He was silent for a moment after she finished. Finally, he looked up and asked, "Is that what liking someone feels like?"

Fang Qia hadn't expected that Jiang Xu, who was usually frivolous and improper, was actually a clueless greenhorn on the inside. Her woman's intuition made her sharply aware of something. She sized him up with great interest. "Jiang Xu, don't tell me you have a girl you like?"

Hearing this, before Jiang Xu could answer, Li Si'ao said, "No way. I've never seen him chat with any girls."

Fang Qia stepped on his foot under the table. "Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Why are you butting in?"

Li Si'ao scratched his head and fell silent.

Fang Qia looked at Jiang Xu again, showing immense interest in the matter. "Hey, do you have a girl you like?"

Jiang Xu didn't know what to say. His gaze was unfocused, staring at one spot. His fingertips tapped intermittently against his glass. Just when Fang Qia thought he would deny it, she heard Jiang Xu say, "I don't know if I like him."

Or perhaps, was this fondness deep enough for Jiang Xu to break through his own sexual orientation and oppose his only family for Gu Qingzhou's sake...

Fang Qia didn't realize this "him" wasn't a "her". Hearing his words, she just pursed her lips, rested her chin on her hand, and said, "I hate it when you men dilly-dally. If you like someone, you like them. If you don't, you don't. While you're hesitating, the girl will have already been snatched away by another wolf. Do you think she'll stand there like a fool waiting for you to figure out your own heart?"

Fang Qia had a straightforward personality, and her words were sharp. "If you can't figure out your feelings for a day, she can wait a day. If you can't figure it out for a year, is she really going to wait a year? You have to seize opportunities yourself. If you miss it, who knows if you'll ever meet someone like her again. By the time you regret it and figure things out, she'll already be married with kids."

Just like when she had confessed to Jiang Xu. Although she was dejected after being rejected, at least she had tried. It was a pity, but it was still better than not trying at all.

Hearing this, Jiang Xu let out a low laugh. "You might not believe it, but he really did wait for me for several years..."

Gu Qingzhou really had, waited for Jiang Xu for a very, very long time.

He seemed to be trying to liven up the atmosphere, or perhaps to contradict Fang Qia, deliberately laughing until he was out of breath. But as he laughed, he seemed to remember something and suddenly closed his eyes in silence, pressing a fist to his forehead. The curve of his lips slowly flattened, betraying a trace of imperceptible helplessness.

Seeing this, Fang Qia didn't say anything. Li Si'ao just thought Jiang Xu had drunk too much and teased, "Buddy, your tolerance is getting worse and worse."

Jiang Xu's Adam's apple bobbed. "This drink has quite a kick..."

In the end, he didn't even know how the meal concluded. By the time they left the restaurant, it was already quite late. Li Si'ao and Fang Qia planned to take Jiang Xu home, but he politely refused, so they all went their separate ways.

Because of work, Jiang Xu hadn't touched alcohol in a long time, nor had he been drunk. After returning home, he tossed and turned all night, his mind echoing with everything Fang Qia had said that day.

No one will wait for someone forever. Once a heart grows completely cold, it can never be warmed again. It was very likely that by the time you turned back, the girl you liked would have long since married someone else and had children.

Jiang Xu thought, Gu Qingzhou probably wouldn't get married, but maybe he would find another partner in the future. He would cling to that person just like he used to cling to him, kiss him, or hug him, and perhaps there would be even more intimate actions...

At first, it was just a vague thought, but when he unconsciously pictured another unknown man's face, it all felt disturbingly real.

Thinking of this, Jiang Xu couldn't help but frown. He wasn't a possessive person, but right now, he inexplicably felt as if something of his was being encroached upon by someone else, even if it was just an empty hypothesis.

He got out of bed, pulled open the curtains, and looked at the sky outside. It was still dark and heavy. The light poured down from the top of his head to his back. Although it was a warm tone, it seemed somewhat lonely.

Jiang Xu felt that he was starting to miss Gu Qingzhou a little. Although the feeling was subtle, on this night when he was all alone, it grew wantonly like ivy in midsummer, gradually spreading through his heart and enveloping him so tightly he couldn't breathe.

Maybe, I'll go see him tomorrow...

Jiang Xu turned and looked in the mirror. He stared fixedly at the person inside, clearly seeing the bloodshot eyes and the blueish stubble on the chin. Then he raised a hand and patted the "man in the mirror's" head with a dull thud, doing something only a drunkard would do, aided by the light buzz from the alcohol.

Jiang Xu pressed against the cold mirror, closed his eyes, and said in a low voice, "Weren't you so capable of stirring up trouble before? You even dared to poke a hole in the sky. Now you've become so wishy-washy, it's fucking pathetic."

After speaking, he was silent for a moment, then muttered to himself, "...If you like him, you like him. What's there to be afraid of admitting? This path may be hard, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to walk."

After saying this, Jiang Xu suddenly felt much better. He leaned against the bedside table, his body slowly sliding down as he tried to alleviate the creeping effects of the alcohol. For the first time, he wished for the sky to lighten quickly.

Gu Qingzhou was also a workaholic at heart. Barring any accidents, he wouldn't neglect his work. He had only taken one day off and returned to the office early the next morning. His pure black suit was crisp and neat, but his face was pale and sickly, and he seemed to have lost a lot of weight. He hurried past everyone, entered his office, and closed the door tightly as usual, sealing it shut.

No one could understand how such a drastic change could happen in just one night. Even Fang Qia noticed something was wrong. "How did Manager Gu get so thin? I just haven't seen him for one day, it's not scientific."

Hearing this, Li Si'ao glanced at the closed office door, then looked away and said nonchalantly, "Maybe he's sick and looks a bit worn out, so he appears thinner."

Jiang Xu had been watching Gu Qingzhou the whole time, but the latter hadn't looked in his direction. He lowered his eyes in silence for a moment and was about to go in when, just as he stood up, Fang Qia pressed his shoulder down. "You wait. I need him to stamp and sign this order, the client is getting anxious. I already got in line yesterday, don't cut in front of me."

With that, she hugged her files and rushed in on her high heels.

Jiang Xu subconsciously looked at Li Si'ao, but the latter just patted his shoulder comfortingly, "A good man doesn't fight with a woman. Ladies first."

Fang Qia was inside for about ten minutes before she came out. After closing the door, she looked as if she had discovered major news and lowered her voice, "Hey, hey, is Manager Gu getting transferred? How come I didn't hear anything about it before?"

Hearing this, Jiang Xu, who was getting up from his chair, froze and sat back down. The surrounding colleagues also looked over, all somewhat surprised.

"Manager Gu is being transferred? For real?"

"How long has he been here?"

Fang Qia subconsciously glanced toward the office, then said in a low voice, "When I went in just now, I heard him on the phone with someone. I didn't catch much, but I heard something about a transfer."

This seemed very sudden to everyone, but based on Jiang Xu's understanding of Gu Qingzhou, it was entirely possible. It was as if Fang Qia's "prophetic words" from yesterday had come true—the bad ones, not the good ones. He had just decided to talk things out with Gu Qingzhou, and now the man was leaving?

Just as everyone was chattering about it, the office door was suddenly opened, and they scattered like birds and beasts. Feeling guilty for gossiping behind his back, they all ducked their heads and didn't dare to make a sound. They saw Gu Qingzhou walk straight to Fan Jiajia, tap on her desk, and say something in a low voice. Fan Jiajia shook her head without speaking, and he left.

During this time, Jiang Xu's gaze swept over Gu Qingzhou's gaunt face, finally settling on his left earlobe—it was bare, with nothing on it.

Jiang Xu's fingertips twitched, and he was lost in thought for a moment. By the time he came to his senses, Gu Qingzhou was already gone. Seeing this, he got up from his chair, grabbed his jacket and draped it over his arm, and asked Fan Jiajia in a low voice, "Where did Manager Gu go?"

Fan Jiajia hesitated for a moment and said, "Probably to the airport."

Before she finished speaking, Jiang Xu had already run out. The building was tall, and it took a long time for the elevators to go up and down. One of the backup elevators was under maintenance. Seeing the elevator stuck on the twelfth floor, Jiang Xu simply rushed into the stairwell and ran down at a hundred-meter dash pace.

A full nineteen floors. By the time he reached the first floor on this cool late autumn day, his back was drenched in sweat.

Jiang Xu called Gu Qingzhou while searching everywhere for his car. He found it still parked in its original spot, not yet driven away. Figuring he must have been faster, he leaned against a plane tree on the roadside to catch his breath. His legs were faintly numb, and he could barely stand.

The elevator was a bit slow. When Gu Qingzhou walked out of the company building, he saw a familiar figure standing by his car. Jiang Xu hadn't yet caught his breath, his hair was soaked with sweat as if he had been running for a very long time. He looked up and saw Gu Qingzhou, stunned for a moment. He subconsciously straightened up, his Adam's apple bobbed, and he tried his best to suppress his ragged breathing.

Gu Qingzhou's complexion was too pale, which made his eyes seem even darker, making it impossible to find their focal point. He seemed to glance at Jiang Xu, and yet it seemed he didn't look at him at all. He just brushed past him, put his hand in his pocket, took out his car keys, and pulled the car door open, preparing to get in.

"Wait,"

Jiang Xu's voice was hoarse. He grabbed Gu Qingzhou's hand on the car door, and for a moment, he didn't know what to say.

Gu Qingzhou was unexpectedly calm, yet it was unsettling for no reason. He emotionlessly pulled his hand back, put it back in his pocket, and stared at the stream of traffic rolling by in the distance, not looking at Jiang Xu. "What is it?"

Jiang Xu actually had a lot he wanted to say, but when the words reached his lips, only one sentence came out: "...You're being transferred?"

"Mn," Gu Qingzhou didn't deny it. His tone could even be described as peaceful, as if he were a completely different person from that day. "I'm tired of this place. I'm going back to City A the day after tomorrow. Headquarters will send someone new to take over."

Hearing this, Jiang Xu looked at him, suddenly wondering if there was any point in saying all the things he wanted to say. Or perhaps, the karma for all the bastardly things he had done in his first twenty-something years was finally catching up to him all at once.

When Gu Qingzhou heard nothing further for a long time, he finally glanced at him. "Anything else?"

Jiang Xu smiled at him and suddenly asked in a low voice, "Am I a little too late?"

Gu Qingzhou didn't understand what he meant. "What?"

The wind blew against the sweat on Jiang Xu's back, bringing a rustling chill. His legs also grew stiff and numb, making it hard to stand. He held onto the tree, and when he looked at Gu Qingzhou, the smile in his eyes was bright, mixing regret and remorse deep within, hidden where no one could see.

Jiang Xu's face was still smiling, just like when he was at his most high-spirited as a youth. He looked deeply at Gu Qingzhou, having never looked at anyone so seriously in his life, as if he wanted to firmly etch him into his heart.

"Even though you're leaving, and it's too late to say these things, I still feel like I should tell you. City A is too far from Hai City, over two thousand kilometers. I'm afraid if I don't say it now, I'll never have the chance again."

This world is too big, and there are too many people. Sometimes, before you even have a chance to say a proper goodbye, you're swept away by chaotic departures, vanishing without a trace.

Beside Jiang Xu was a bustling crowd, across from him was heavy traffic, and looking up, there were towering buildings. Too many sights blended together, only to all fall into silence in the end, becoming inexplicably small.

Jiang Xu said, "I was too much of a mess before, and I still am. Before eighteen, I fought, skipped school, and dropped out, learning to be a local hooligan, living in a daze with no self-respect. After eighteen, I was still the same, with no improvement at all. You all think I'm brave, but actually, I'm a coward. I hide away even a single heartfelt word, too afraid to say it..."

"My mom had it tough. She raised me all by herself. She developed all sorts of health problems from her work, and now she can't even walk steadily. I just wanted to make her happy, to earn money so she could live a comfortable life. Every time I failed an exam, I didn't dare tell her. Not because I was afraid she'd hit me, but because I was afraid of making her sad..."

He rambled on, not knowing what he was saying, mumbling about many things, important and unimportant. Finally, he paused for a moment before suddenly saying in a low voice, "Gu Qingzhou, I like you."

This sentence seemed to exhaust all of Jiang Xu's courage and strength. After he said it, he couldn't speak again for a long time. Only the cool wind blew past, lifting the hem of his white shirt.

Gu Qingzhou stood by the car door, his back to him, his expression hidden. The plane tree's leaves had almost all fallen, with only a few sparse ones remaining, casting shifting shadows on his shoulder. The air was silent for a moment. After an unknown amount of time, Gu Qingzhou slowly straightened his back and finally spoke, his low voice betraying no emotion, "If there's nothing else, I'll be going."

Hearing this, Jiang Xu's chaotic thoughts gathered from his memories. His legs had grown stiff and numb from standing for so long, and the feeling was gradually spreading through his body. He wanted to laugh but couldn't. He finally moved, but it was to raise his hand and open the car door for Gu Qingzhou. "Nothing else. I just wanted to say, about that day, I'm sorry..."

And also,

"Gu Qingzhou, thank you for liking me for so long."

When everyone else treated Jiang Xu like trash, only Gu Qingzhou liked him. He was willing to save his meager breakfast money to buy Jiang Xu everything he liked. He was willing to deliberately fail his exams time and time again when seats were assigned by grades, just so he could continue being his deskmate.

Gu Qingzhou had once presented the purest heart of his youth to him, but Jiang Xu himself had failed to grasp it. Back then, at a reckless eighteen, he had neither learned to cherish nor understood what it meant to like someone.

Gu Qingzhou didn't answer. He didn't know how he got into the car. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and numbly started the engine. Scenes replayed in his mind, all of what Jiang Xu had just said. His breathing hitched uncontrollably, and a sour feeling spread from the tip of his nose to the corners of his eyes. His once clear vision blurred for a moment.

He really had, waited for Jiang Xu for a very, very long time. So long that he could no longer remember how many years it had been...

Gu Qingzhou had stood in place waiting for Jiang Xu to turn around, waiting for him to say he liked him. His entire verdant youth was spent chasing after the other's footsteps. From meeting at sixteen to reuniting now at twenty-five, a full nine years had passed. Gu Qingzhou had thought he could have let go long ago, but it turned out his thoughts could still be thrown into disarray so easily by a single sentence from the other person.

His phone lay quietly in his pocket, then began to vibrate gently. When he answered, it was a call from Dou Xun. "What time is it? You said you'd see me off today. My flight's about to take off and I haven't seen a shadow of you."

Gu Qingzhou put on his earpiece. His voice, from suppressing something for so long, was faintly hoarse. "There's some traffic."

Dou Xun paused on the other end, silent for a moment, then asked, "Did Jiajia come?"

Gu Qingzhou said, "She didn't."

Dou Xun sounded a little disappointed. "Alright, I'm boarding then. I'll message you when I get to City A."

Gu Qingzhou hung up the phone. His fingertips were still trembling slightly. His vision cleared for an instant, only to blur again. He had no choice but to pull over. A glance from the corner of his eye caught a familiar figure in the rearview mirror.

Two legs can't outrun four wheels, but Jiang Xu didn't think that far ahead. He just kept following from a distance with weary steps. He didn't know what he was trying to do; perhaps he simply wanted to see Gu Qingzhou off. Fortunately, the car wasn't fast, so even after it had driven far, he could still faintly make out its shape.

Gu Qingzhou watched the figure in the rearview mirror gradually draw closer. He closed his eyes, then suddenly couldn't stop himself from lowering his head. In a daze, some liquid fell from the corner of his eye, landing squarely on his knee and soaking a small patch of fabric.

Hai City was small and remote. The roads there were congested, the crowds were a mix, the bus stop signs were old and faded. It was scorching hot in the summer and accompanied by endless drizzle when it was cold. Everything about it was terrible, but no matter how long he had been away, Gu Qingzhou was still willing to turn back and look for Jiang Xu when he was at his best.

The two of them, one inside the car and one outside, were originally separated by a considerable distance. But because Gu Qingzhou remained still and Jiang Xu kept moving forward, the gap slowly closed, and they finally met again.

Gu Qingzhou was slumped over the steering wheel and didn't raise his head for a long time. In a trance, he seemed to hear the rustling of plane tree leaves falling in the autumn wind, and also Jiang Xu's frivolous, smiling voice.

The man stopped beside the car. His smile was beautiful, but the rims of his eyes were slightly red. He leaned over, bracing himself on the car roof, and looked at the person inside, saying softly, "Hey..."

Jiang Xu said, "Gu Qingzhou, how about you don't leave."