Paper Life 22

Shang Nan didn't want Yu Zhibai to truly commit evil acts. Before this, although it was a Paper Person, it had never harmed anyone.

The animal blood at the entrance took over two hours to mostly clean up. The blood was a vivid red, clearly fresh, and it wasn't even black dog blood. In this day and age, purebred black dogs weren't easy to find. This group of people had simply egged each other on, slapped their thighs, and decided to just go ahead with it. When they couldn't find black dog blood, they made do with something else.

The community was old and in disrepair, with cracked walls, so they could only clean the surface. Some of it had seeped into the cracks and couldn't be cleaned out.

Shang Nan wasn't fussy at all and didn't find it disgusting.

Yu Xiaoyu could only touch a little water. Too much and it wouldn't do -- she'd get soggy and fall apart. Xiao Bai found it too troublesome to bother repairing her and might just make a Yu Xiaoyu 2.0 instead.

So she could only help pass things over and hold Shang Nan's jacket for him. Shang Nan's jacket was so soft, warm, and fragrant. So this is what humans were like?

"That's about done, right?" Yu Xiaoyu asked.

Shang Nan nodded. "About done."

Yu Changyue sat on the sofa and watched the entire process. The old lady's cloudy eyes shifted, and she asked Shang Nan weakly, "Aren't you afraid?"

"Afraid of what?" Shang Nan was wearing only a plain white hoodie underneath. He rolled down his sleeves and sat across from Yu Changyue. A thin layer of sweat glistened on his forehead, sparkling, like a tender green shoot just pushing through the soil.

He was a bit hungry, and went back to eating that chestnut cake. "I believe you." His tone was light, but carried weight.

If Yu Changyue really had killed people to extend her own life, she could have chosen not to risk her life saving Yu Zhibai back then. After all, if she could truly extend her life that way, then with Yu Zhibai dead, wouldn't she have gained several more years to live?

Then she wouldn't be like she was now -- unable to move, unable to eat, barely able to speak clearly. If she were going to extend her life, she wouldn't extend it into this kind of existence.

After Yu Zhibai finished all the cleanup work, he washed his hands and dried them.

Shang Nan noticed he was wearing only a short-sleeved shirt, black, which made his skin look even more coldly pale. He didn't seem to feel the cold either, walking back and forth around the house, not treating Shang Nan like an outsider at all.

He finally finished his tasks, then stopped and went to open the shoe cabinet, pulling out a pair of slippers.

"Change your shoes."

Shang Nan thought it made sense to change shoes when you're in someone else's home, so he put on the slippers.

Yu Zhibai beat him to it, snatching up Shang Nan's sneakers and carrying them to the bathroom. Shang Nan didn't understand what he was doing at first, but soon, the sound of running water came from the bathroom.

Shang Nan immediately guessed what he was doing and scrambled up from the floor.

In the bathroom, Yu Zhibai was crouching with his back to the door, scrubbing Shang Nan's sneakers with intense focus. Red-tinged water flowed off the soles and dripped from the tips, gathering at the drain.

If he didn't know this was just shoe-washing, just like outside, Shang Nan's first impression would have been that this was someone cleaning up a crime scene.

"Really, it's fine." Shang Nan hadn't expected Yu Zhibai to care so much about a pair of shoes.

[14: It's not the shoes it cares about. It's you.]

Shang Nan crouched down at the bathroom doorway and responded to 14. "How is it this thoughtful? I feel like even humans don't necessarily do this much."

[14: Humans generally overthink things. For example, washing a pair of shoes -- they'd think, why should I be the one washing them? They'd think, can't you wash them yourself? They'd resent you for dirtying the floor, and might even say it's bad luck. But monsters don't think that much. A monster's love is absolutely pure.]

Yu Zhibai only scrubbed the surface of the shoes. After he finished, he propped them against the wall. When he stood up and turned around, Shang Nan caught a rare glimpse of something that belonged to the human world on him -- the soft-bristled brush in his hand, the white foam rising at the drain, the water droplets trickling down from his fingertips.

"I'll make dinner. What do you want to eat?" The Paper Person spoke words that carried even more of that human warmth.

Shang Nan rested his chin on his hand and thought about it. "Ah... I want grilled lamb chops. Can you make those?"

Yu Zhibai's dark eyes showed a trace of helplessness. "I can't."

Shang Nan had only been teasing him. He'd never actually wanted lamb chops, but he still pretended to be disappointed for a few seconds before finally saying, "Then just make whatever you want. I like everything you cook."

The Yu household rarely cooked. The only human in the house was Yu Changyue, who needed food and water. The rest were all Paper People -- whether it was the essence of the sun and moon or the northwest wind, none of them were picky.

Yu Changyue was old and her body was weak. She only needed one meal a day and couldn't eat anything high in nutrition or protein -- she couldn't digest it, and overly nutritious food would only burden her stomach. Her meals were ordered from the hospital cafeteria, specially designed meal plans for patients.

Quite a few of the spices in the kitchen had just been opened for the first time.

Yu Xiaoyu sat on the same sofa as Shang Nan and said seriously, "Xiao Bai went to the supermarket a few days ago and bought a whole bunch of stuff, and then he's been cooking at home every day. It's all for you, isn't it?"

Yu Xiaoyu felt a sense of being abandoned. "Xiao Bai is becoming more and more like a human."

Shang Nan looked at Yu Zhibai's remarkably gentle profile and felt a similar sensation stirring within him.

But that feeling had barely surfaced before 14 mercilessly pushed it back down.

[14: Let me reiterate -- a monster is a monster. Don't just assume it's a person because it washes your shoes and cooks for you.]

......

After dinner, Shang Nan looked at the texts Dai Lili had sent, all along the lines of "I hope you'll reconsider." He found it somewhat amusing. Dai Lili was his mother, yet she kept pleading on behalf of Lu Yang.

Having been with Yu Zhibai for a long time, Yu Xiaoyu was the best at reading the room. Seeing that Shang Nan wasn't very happy, she tugged at his sleeve. "I'll teach you how to make Paper Effigies."

"Paper Effigies? You know how too?" Shang Nan put his phone away and glanced outside. The sky had gone completely dark. It was time for him to go home.

"I do, but the Paper Effigies I make are different from Xiao Bai's. I can only make plain, ordinary little paper figures," Yu Xiaoyu said.

Shang Nan was about to reply when Yu Zhibai came out of the kitchen. He bent down and picked up the jacket on the chair. "Nannan, let's go. It's dark. I'll walk you home."

Although Shang Nan was a bit puzzled by why Yu Zhibai was so eager to shoo him off right after washing the dishes, the other's packing speed was too fast, leaving Shang Nan no time to even react.

"Let's go." Yu Zhibai stood at the door.

"..."

Shang Nan bent down to tie his shoelaces. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the two small cakes still remaining on the table. He stood up and said, "I bought those cakes for you. Eat them. If you don't want them, give them to Grandma."

Yu Zhibai could no longer taste human food. Years ago, he could still tell the difference -- sour was sour, sweet was sweet. But over time, those flavors grew increasingly faint until they disappeared entirely. Moreover, food he ate could no longer be properly digested. He could tear open a hole anywhere on his body to stuff food into his stomach, and could take it back out whole. And so Yu Zhibai had mostly stopped eating.

But of course, cakes from Shang Nan were different from everything else. "Okay, thank you, Nannan," it answered.

Walking out of Happiness Community, Shang Nan looked up at the pitch-black sky. For the first time, he spotted stars in the sky above Huinanfang -- though only a scant few.

Shang Nan gazed at them for a moment, then lowered his eyes, only to find Yu Zhibai had been watching him the whole time. The other always stared at people so directly. All that shyness and timidity from before must have been an act, because it fundamentally didn't understand when one was supposed to feel embarrassed -- because it never needed to.

Shang Nan looked down and thought for a few seconds, then reached out and hooked Yu Zhibai's pinky finger. "Let's go. Walk me to the main road, and I'll grab a taxi from there."

"Then... before you go home, can I kiss you?" Yu Zhibai asked softly.

Its gaze melded with the night, and when it wasn't showing its Paper Person appearance, it looked no different from a youthful young man. Shang Nan wasn't afraid of it at moments like these.

"Sure." Shang Nan agreed without hesitation.

This stretch of road had no surveillance cameras. Everything was slated for demolition anyway, and the people in charge didn't see the point. Broken streetlights went unrepaired, fallen trees went unrighted.

As they walked, Shang Nan recalled what had happened that afternoon and asked, puzzled, "What was all that about people in your community saying Grandma killed people to extend her life?"

Yu Zhibai held nothing back from Shang Nan. "When she was young, she was a Shamaness. Those who didn't believe in that line of work called her a ghost woman. People are very superstitious about ghosts and spirits -- believers trust absolutely, while skeptics scoff. As it happened, she later encountered mostly skeptics. They thought she was unlucky, a bad omen, so no matter what happened, everyone blamed it on the bad luck she brought -- including Yu She's death."

Shang Nan found it utterly absurd.

"Yu Zhibai, I have spare rooms at my place. Do you want to bring Grandma, and Yu Xiaoyu, to come live with me?" Shang Nan thought Grandma was a very interesting old lady. "Maybe a change of environment would help Grandma's health improve."

Yu Zhibai refused without a moment's hesitation. "She's said before that she's not going anywhere."

"Alright."

After finishing this conversation, they reached the end of this road where streetlights might as well not have existed. Taxis came and went frequently. Shang Nan withdrew his hand and tucked both hands into his jacket pockets, stealing several glances at Yu Zhibai with slightly evasive eyes, giving appropriate hints to the other, who showed no reaction.

"Well then... I'm going?"

Yu Zhibai's eyes drooped. His skin was so pale that his eyes appeared all the more ink-black. When he stared at someone, his gaze didn't resemble a human's -- it was more like an animal's, with his pupils expanding and contracting on a whim.

The Paper Person's kiss landed on Shang Nan's eyes, like a snowflake falling -- cool and cold, yet very soft.

"Be safe on the way home," it said.

A taxi appeared beside them at just the right moment, arriving suddenly yet at a gentle speed, giving Shang Nan a start.

Many taxis would pull up alongside pedestrians on the roadside as a gesture, checking whether they needed a ride. Shang Nan didn't think anything of it -- after all, there were no homes on either side of the road, and he knew he obviously looked like someone who needed a cab.

"Bye-bye~" Shang Nan leaned on the car window and waved at Yu Zhibai. "See you at school tomorrow, Xiao Bai."

"See you at school," Yu Zhibai repeated, then added once more, "Be safe on the way home."

The window rolled up. The driver pressed the gas pedal, and the car slowly drifted out of Yu Zhibai's sight. The night was deep and heavy, the evening wind bitterly cold. Yu Zhibai stood in place for a long time before turning to walk back.

Shang Nan didn't like playing on his phone. Perhaps because most of his memories were sealed, he knew too little, and what he wanted to know was even less.

He leaned against the seat. The driver in front gripped the steering wheel steadily, unlike other drivers who might chat with their passengers. He just drove.

Shang Nan felt the speed was a bit slow and leaned forward, politely suggesting, "Sir, you can drive a little faster."

The other took several seconds before answering Shang Nan. "It's dangerous."

Shang Nan frowned.

It wasn't the slow driving that bothered him -- it was the man's voice, which sounded like two sheets of sandpaper grinding against each other, coarse and heavy.

Shang Nan leaned forward again, trying to be inconspicuous, and sure enough... he detected the scent of paper pulp coming from the driver, carrying the dampness of something not yet dry.

Before he could connect the dots, the driver's stocky body shifted, and he spoke again. "Xiao Bai said you're very clever. Seems like it's true."

Shang Nan: "..."

"Xiao Bai's mother died in a car accident. It was worried about you," the paper fatty chuckled a few times. "Had to rush to make me. Look at my face -- it's not even dry yet."

Shang Nan: "..."

Once the driver realized he'd been found out, he stopped being quiet and became surprisingly chatty.

Shang Nan was curious and amused. "Does he even give each of you a different personality?" Yu Xiaoyu, the driver, and Zhang Gou -- every one of them had a distinct personality.

"Not exactly. I'm not too clear on it either. It's probably that whatever age and role we are, that's just what our personality is. Pretty template-based, not much depth to it," the driver said, scratching his head.

Shang Nan thought, since the life force of all these Paper People was bestowed by Yu Zhibai, their individual personalities must have also formed according to Yu Zhibai's understanding.

Perhaps in Yu Zhibai's impression, a taxi driver was simply a good-natured, chatty, heavyset uncle -- and beyond that, there were no other traits.

The ride home took twice as long as usual. Shang Nan was already drowsy. Yawning as he got out of the car, he raised his hand and noticed color staining his palm -- probably from touching the door... Wait, no. The entire car was made of paper too?! Did they have no sense of safety?!

But before Shang Nan could say anything, the driver had already pulled away at his leisurely pace. He was just a driver. Getting Shang Nan home was his mission. There was nothing he could do -- his character was just that thin. He didn't take questions.

Happiness Community was wrapped in silence at this hour. The winter night was deep and bitterly cold, and the weeds in the flower beds had grown taller than the azalea bushes.

Most people were already asleep.

But that burly man from the afternoon was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. On a night this cold, with no heating or space heater in the house, he shivered under the covers, his upper and lower teeth chattering and clacking together.

The walls were thin. His mother, passing his room on her way to the bathroom, heard the noise and knocked twice. "What time is it and you're still not sleeping? Don't you have work tomorrow?"

Li Rongping kicked the covers onto the floor and sat up, seething with agitation. "I can't sleep!"

His mother heard him and scolded, "I told you this afternoon not to stick your neck out, not to stick your neck out, but you just had to follow them. What for? See? Now you've caught her bad luck. Everyone knows that old hag brings bad luck, and you still went!"

Li Rongping kicked the blanket to the ground. "I'm not scared of anything." After snapping back, he lay down again, but the image of Granny Yu's ashen face and Yu She's dazzlingly beautiful figure kept floating before his eyes.

When Yu Changyue and Yu She first moved here, it took less than half a day for the whole community to learn that a beauty had arrived in Building 11. But that beauty wasn't exactly proper -- she wasn't married yet and already had a child with her.

When Yu She moved into Happiness Community, Li Rongping had just started his first year of college. He thought the neighbors were exaggerating. A woman with a kid -- how beautiful could she be? Could she be prettier than the campus belle? Then Li Rongping happened to run into Yu She returning from her morning jog -- Yu She was too beautiful, like a luminous, radiant moon, and she gently said "good morning" to him.

From then on, Li Rongping became distracted and absent-minded. Day and night, all he could think about was Yu She's face, Yu She's voice as soft as water, and her legs wrapped in those athletic pants. Then the neighbors learned about Yu Changyue's profession -- a ghost woman. The rumors spread fast, and Li Rongping became convinced that Yu Changyue must have taught Yu She how to bewitch men.

At the end of the semester, Li Rongping failed five courses, including a required one for his degree. And so he became even more certain it was Yu She and Yu Changyue's fault.

But he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Yu She.

As memories of what he'd done in the past churned through his mind, Li Rongping grew increasingly agitated and restless, breaking into a sweat all over. He sat up again -- and saw a long-haired woman sitting at the foot of his bed.

Li Rongping's mind went completely blank. All sensation fled from his body -- the agitation, the stifling heat, all of it vanished. He watched as the woman in the red dress slowly turned her head toward him, her expression wooden, one half of her face a vivid red.

After what felt like an eternity, Li Rongping finally found his voice. He let out a blood-curdling scream and, ignoring his soaked pants, tumbled straight to the floor. He crawled to "Yu She's" feet, babbling, "I didn't mean to spread those rumors about you being improper. I just said a couple things, and they all blew it out of proportion on their own. It had nothing to do with me, Yu She..."

He mumbled incoherently for a long time, and didn't even notice when "Yu She" disappeared.

When he finally realized, the foot of the bed had been empty for some time. He slowly raised his head, and only after confirming that the thing was gone did Li Rongping collapse onto the floor.

He'd wet himself all over the floor, but couldn't be bothered to care. His body temperature had dropped to freezing. His jaw was clenched shut, and he couldn't control its opening and closing. So it had finally... finally come?

His mother had just scolded him for sticking his neck out. Did she think he wanted to? It was precisely because over the years, the rumors about Granny Yu's mysterious powers had grown more and more fantastical that he became increasingly terrified she would settle accounts for what he'd done. So he figured -- better to drive her away before she came after him.

Li Rongping braced himself against the wall and made his way out of his room. He didn't dare stay there anymore. He sat in the living room, not daring to move a muscle.

......

Yu Zhibai came home late at night in a very good mood. He took one of the small cakes Shang Nan had bought from the refrigerator. Before opening the cake box, he pressed his palms together, closed his eyes, and under the electric light, his profile looked exquisite, his expression gentle.

After what Yu Xiaoyu felt was a very long ten-odd seconds, Yu Zhibai slowly opened his eyes. He opened the cake box, curved his lips into a smile, and was in a particularly, particularly, particularly good mood.

Yu Xiaoyu stood in the shadows across from him, curious. "Xiao Bai, you can't even taste anything. You don't know if it's good or not. Why do you still eat?" Imitating humans was exhausting work. Humans were too complicated, each one different from the next.

"Xiao Bai, are you missing Yu She?"

"No."

"Oh."

Having been refrigerated, the cake had taken on a slight firmness from the cold. Yu Zhibai broke it into small pieces and fed them into his mouth. No chewing was needed. He opened his moisture-reddened lips again and again, clearly eating with immense enjoyment.

The cake was small and was finished quickly.

Yu Xiaoyu was quite frightened. She wasn't afraid of the Xiao Bai from that afternoon, but she had always been afraid of Xiao Bai when he took on his Paper Person form. It was probably the blood suppression between beings of the same kind -- it made it hard for her to breathe.

She had no eyelids and couldn't close her eyes. She could only watch, wide-eyed, as Yu Zhibai sitting across from her used scissors to cut himself open, took out the pieces of cake, then fed them back in through his mouth, then took them out again, then ate them again -- back and forth, over and over, in an endless cycle.

Yu Xiaoyu: "!" She was truly terrified of Xiao Bai like this!

In pursuit of a high degree of resemblance to humans, Xiao Bai possessed some blood vessels -- just in case blood was needed and none would flow. The blood vessels were only partial, located in the neck, wrists, and other places prone to injury or exposure. Everywhere else was still made of Paper Person materials.

Yu Zhibai continued eating like this for a good half hour before he'd finally had enough. He looked up. "Yu Xiaoyu, goodnight."

Shang Nan knew nothing of what happened at Happiness Community. He slept soundly, without a single dream, waking up five minutes before his alarm went off.

When he sat up in bed, he was startled -- startled enough to let out a hiccup.

His desk was by the window. He'd tidied everything up before going to bed last night, even packing what he needed into his school bag. As for the Paper Doll that Yu Zhibai had previously slipped into his bag, Shang Nan had put it in a drawer.

Shang Nan thought Yu Zhibai was quite clever. The Paper Doll he'd given him carried no trace of gloom whatsoever -- it was soft and looked adorable, even when seen at night.

But the Paper Doll he'd placed in the drawer had somehow ended up on his desk, sitting on the edge with its two legs dangling over the side, facing the direction of Shang Nan's bed.

This Paper Doll was made by Yu Zhibai in his own likeness. Shang Nan figured the other probably wanted to accompany him at all times in this way.

[14: At 12:50 last night, it pushed open the drawer and climbed out to sit on the desk by itself.]

"..."

Shang Nan got up and put the Paper Doll back in the drawer. This time, he locked it.

He washed up, changed clothes, grabbed his school bag, and headed out.

He lived in an upscale neighborhood with excellent security and amenities. Even the parking garage was lavishly decorated. Shang Nan pressed the button for sublevel one in the elevator.

The elevator descended smoothly. Shang Nan stared blankly at the changing red numbers. The doors opened. He stepped out, and he'd barely taken a few steps when someone suddenly reached out from behind and grabbed his wrist, yanking him forcefully into the cramped fire escape stairwell.

Shang Nan's first instinct was that he was being kidnapped again. He was about to raise his hand and strike when he recognized the familiar brow ridge of the person before him.

"Xiao Bai?"

Yu Zhibai kissed Shang Nan's cheek. His burning gaze held a hint of hidden grievance. "Why won't you keep me with you? Don't you like me?"

Shang Nan was dumbfounded for a long moment. What was he talking about? Under Yu Zhibai's gradually darkening gaze, Shang Nan's mind raced until he finally understood. "Oh, you mean the Paper Doll you gave me? I only put it away because I was afraid of getting it dirty or damaged."

The truth was, the Paper Doll was too large and took up too much space in his bag, and it really was easy to get dirty. Everything Shang Nan said was honest.

Yu Zhibai didn't doubt Shang Nan. He gave an "mm" in acknowledgment, then pulled something from his pocket and placed it in Shang Nan's palm. Shang Nan looked down -- it was a miniature version of that very same Paper Doll, identical in every detail, just several times smaller.

"..."

Yu Zhibai leaned in close, smiling brightly, looking very happy. "Keep me with you at all times."