Hidden Clues

Yue Zhishi also didn't know how he had come to make such a move.

The thought seemed to pop into his head naturally, along with the image of Song Yu embracing him back then. But after he really snuggled into his arms and heard Song Yu's heartbeat, Yue Zhishi snapped awake, feeling like he had gone crazy.

Thunder cracked again, and Yue Zhishi, who had wanted to pull away, subconsciously grabbed onto Song Yu's clothes.

He heard Song Yu's voice, tinged with confusion.

"What did you say?"

He really didn't remember.

A sense of unwillingness welled up in Yue Zhishi for no reason. In truth, for them, a hug wasn't such a big deal. Song Yu often hugged him when they were little. When he was in elementary school and it was raining heavily, Song Yu, a child himself, would pick him up, letting him cling to his body like a koala so he wouldn't have to step in the rainwater.

Although he wasn't allowed to be held while sleeping during thunderstorms, when he was sad, Song Yu would take the initiative to hug him. A hug was a form of silent comfort.

All of this was normal for Yue Zhishi, but he just couldn't get over the hug Song Yu had given him in his sleep.

He was clearly the one being held, yet the one who initiated it remembered nothing.

'If it were someone else next to him, would he also just turn over and pull them into his arms?'

"I'm not lying, that's what happened." Yue Zhishi repeated stubbornly, lifting his head from where it was buried in his chest to look into Song Yu's eyes.

The distance was so close. Even in the darkness, he could faintly see Song Yu's face and could feel that he was frowning.

"I don't think you're lying." Song Yu's heartbeat was even faster than Yue Zhishi had imagined, the vibrations magnified in the darkness. "I just don't remember something like that happening."

After speaking, he paused, then added, "Sorry, I'm not very conscious when I'm asleep."

Yue Zhishi gradually loosened his grip, and at the instant the next flash of white light appeared, he actively pulled away from Song Yu's embrace. He suddenly understood, guessing that Song Yu had probably just treated him like a bolster pillow or a blanket on the bed. It wasn't really a big deal in itself.

"Don't apologize. I was just giving an example."

A perfect example of how a hug doesn't necessarily mean anything.

With a few centimeters of space between them, Yue Zhishi confessed his thoughts to Song Yu. "I actually really like the feeling of you holding me. It gives me a great sense of security." As if afraid of being reprimanded, Yue Zhishi quickly added, "But that's weird, I know."

Song Yu was very quiet. When he heard him say this, he just reached out over the blanket and patted his shoulder.

This gesture made Yue Zhishi feel encouraged. He turned to face him and looked into Song Yu's eyes again. "Just for tonight, can you hold me?"

He began to rationalize his request, just like when he wanted to eat something and would logically present various motives. "The thunder outside won't stop, and I can't sleep. Being held will give me more of a sense of security. If I fall asleep quickly, you won't have to worry about me or look after me anymore. This is a special situation. I won't sleep in the same bed with you every day, and it won't be a thunderstorm every night."

Sensing that Song Yu didn't immediately refuse, Yue Zhishi moved a little closer. "You don't have to move, I'll just be close to you. I won't sleep on your arm."

Song Yu suddenly found it a little amusing, but he couldn't quite bring himself to laugh. He could no longer tell whether it was his own wishful thinking that Yue Zhishi was childish, or if he really wasn't growing up.

He couldn't help but reach out and stroke Yue Zhishi's hair, then let his hand rest on the side of his face, lightly covering his ear.

But no matter what, Song Yu didn't want to make Yue Zhishi even more confused and bewildered, so he repeated himself.

"No matter what examples you give, I'm not in a relationship. That's a fact."

Yue Zhishi's eyes were closed. He looked very obedient and well-behaved. "Then if you do get into a relationship, will you let me know?"

"Do you want to know?" The words slipped out of Song Yu's mouth, and he regretted it a bit after asking.

Yue Zhishi didn't know if he wanted to or not. He didn't want to be kept in the dark, but it would probably feel bad to know. He didn't really want to share his brother with anyone else.

At a distance of sharing the same pillow, their breaths mingled in the air. In this quiet and torturous atmosphere, Song Yu waited for Yue Zhishi's answer, but what came was a change of topic from Yue Zhishi.

"My deskmate is a girl, and she also has an older brother." Yue Zhishi deliberately added, "A biological brother."

"She complained to me before that ever since her brother got a girlfriend, he's not home as often. During vacations, he used to take her to Happy Valley or out for lots of good food, but now he deliberately keeps his distance from her, afraid of making his girlfriend unhappy."

As Yue Zhishi spoke, as if running out of breath, he closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath, his voice muffled. "This year, her brother got married and moved out to start his own family, and after that, it became hard for her to see him. I told her, you can go find him." As he spoke, his eyelashes trembled slightly. "But she said she tried. In her brother's new home, she felt like an outsider visiting. Actually, this is very normal. Looking at it from another perspective, no one wants their loved one to divide their affection among others. So my deskmate also said that she just needs to get used to it."

Song Yu listened to him in silence, thinking of the Yue Zhishi from their childhood. Back then, he was innocent and playful, cute and serious, and wasn't afraid to say anything. But now that a similar topic had come up again, he couldn't narrate it with the same tone as before.

"Will we be like that in the future?" A flash of lightning illuminated Yue Zhishi's face, making it look pale. As the thunder rumbled, he seemed to come to a realization and denied his own words. "Even biological siblings are like that. We'll only grow more distant in the future. I'm not even your real brother."

Not sure if it was an illusion, but Song Yu felt like Yue Zhishi was about to cry, and his heart clenched. His resistance to his own sinful, selfish desires ultimately lost to his empathy for Yue Zhishi. As if giving up on himself, he pulled Yue Zhishi into his arms. "We won't."

Yue Zhishi didn't quite believe him. "You're the one who said it's easy for people to drift apart. I believe that more and more now." He closed his eyes, his chin resting in the hollow of Song Yu's shoulder, and asked as if talking to himself, "Why aren't we biological brothers?"

Song Yu's hand was on his back. He held him tighter after a flash of lightning. He felt a little helpless and asked Yue Zhishi in return, "Why do you want to be biological brothers with me?"

"Because social relationships are fragile." Yue Zhishi's arms wrapped around Song Yu's waist. "But if we were biological brothers, even if other ties were cut, the blood relationship could never be severed."

Hearing this, Song Yu found Yue Zhishi both naive and cruel.

He had long understood his own selfish desires, so he had never for a moment wished to be biological brothers with Yue Zhishi. He hoped it would be better if they had no relationship at all, that they were strangers who met by chance.

It would be best if this relationship wasn't mixed with any other emotions. He would feel less of a burden, wouldn't think of his own parents when hugging him, wouldn't have to bear the gazes of others when holding his hand.

And he wouldn't be unable to tell what kind of feelings Yue Zhishi had for him, wouldn't harbor too much wishful thinking.

Seeing that Song Yu had gone quiet, Yue Zhishi patted his back, his tone lightening a little. "Am I being weird?"

It wasn't Yue Zhishi who was weird, but their situation.

Song Yu didn't answer, so Yue Zhishi spoke again: "Do you think I'm a pervert?"

This sentence almost made the melancholic Song Yu laugh. He said in a low voice, "No." And very virtuously, he only touched Yue Zhishi's hair. "You were like this when you were a kid."

Yue Zhishi asked "why" in a confused and weary voice. Song Yu said, "It's probably because you formed an intimate attachment to me when you were young. Generally, it's an emotional bond that children have with their parents, or sometimes siblings. In your special case, your object of attachment became me, so you experience separation anxiety. It's actually normal. Some people are quite old but still feel sad when they leave their parents."

Listening to him speak, Yue Zhishi felt very reassured. His ability to think was clearly declining under the influence of sleepiness, and he only latched onto the key phrase "separation anxiety." He thought it made a lot of sense; being separated from Song Yu really did make him anxious. So he hugged Song Yu, nuzzled against his chest in a very coquettish way, and said, "Then can you not be too far away from me? Can you come home more often?"

Song Yu's body stiffened for a few seconds, feeling as if it wasn't his own at all.

But he felt that giving Yue Zhishi a promise would make it easier for him to fall asleep.

"Mm."

"Really? In the future, too?"

Clearly hearing Yue Zhishi cheer up, Song Yu couldn't help but nod again.

Yue Zhishi buried his head again, ready to sleep. He discovered that it was actually very easy for him to get what he wanted from Song Yu. Song Yu seemed hard to get close to, but he was actually a person who compromised easily.

After softly saying goodnight, Yue Zhishi closed his eyes with a sense of peace.

The rain continued to fall recklessly, very noisily. Song Yu's palm never left the side of Yue Zhishi's ear until the thunder completely disappeared and Yue Zhishi's breathing became steady. Only then did Song Yu lower his hand, resting it lightly on Yue Zhishi's waist.

Late at night is when a person's willpower is at its weakest, making it easy to make impulsive choices. So Song Yu also indulged himself for a second. He lowered his head and very lightly kissed the crown of Yue Zhishi's hair.

Other than the rain outside the window, no one knew of this kiss.

As the sky began to brighten, Yue Zhishi woke up groggily and was very happy to find that Song Yu hadn't left after he fell asleep. The single bed was too narrow, and his back was a little sore. He lay in his arms for a while with his eyes closed, feeling a bit hot, then turned over, resting his forehead against the wall.

The sleeping Song Yu sensed the movement of him turning over and also moved, subconsciously hugging Yue Zhishi from behind. His entire back was securely enveloped, fitting together comfortably and safely.

The second time Yue Zhishi woke up, it was seven-thirty. It was bright outside. He covered his head with the blanket, then remembered Song Yu's instructions and pulled it down a little.

Belatedly, he sensed that someone was missing from the bed. Yue Zhishi squinted and turned over onto his stomach, dangling one arm over the railing and calling Song Yu's name in a muffled, listless voice.

After repeating it who knows how many times, he finally heard some movement. He lifted his head with great effort, opened his eyes, and saw Song Yu walk out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Yue Zhishi rubbed his eyes, flopped onto Song Yu's pillow, and said lazily, "Why are you showering in the morning too..."

Song Yu seemed surprised that Yue Zhishi had woken up so early. He looked startled the moment he saw him but quickly recovered. "It's a quick way to wake up."

He was about to tell Yue Zhishi to nap a little longer while he went to buy breakfast, but unexpectedly, Yue Zhishi started climbing down himself. Having never lived in a dorm, his movements on the ladder were clumsy, so Song Yu stood to the side, ready to support him at any moment.

However, he didn't get a chance to help. Yue Zhishi landed safely, his bare feet on the tile floor. Song Yu ordered him to put on slippers, and only then did Yue Zhishi quickly step into them, stretching lazily and saying like a proper copycat, "I'm going to take a shower too." With that, he headed for the bathroom.

Song Yu glanced helplessly at his retreating back, then looked down and picked up the watch on the desk to put on his wrist. Then, as if he suddenly thought of something, he glanced back at the bathroom and began to feel regret in advance.

Sure enough, Yue Zhishi, who had turned on the shower, let out a loud cry from inside.

"The water's so cold!"

Even after adjusting it back to a suitable temperature, Yue Zhishi was still complaining when he came out. "You don't actually take cold showers, do you? It's so cold, you'll catch a cold."

Song Yu didn't explain. Trying to explain "why a 21-year-old young man would take a cold shower in the morning" would likely get him tangled up in his own words.

He didn't want to create an awkward situation that would only draw more attention to it, so he promptly changed the subject, urging Yue Zhishi to go have breakfast with him.

The water downstairs hadn't flooded the first floor as Song Yu had expected; instead, it had receded quite a bit. Yue Zhishi was dressed head to toe in Song Yu's clothes. Afraid of getting his pant legs wet, he had specifically chosen a pair of shorts that only reached his knees, revealing a pair of fair, slender, and long calves.

Yue Zhishi drank a bowl of warm sweet fermented rice with egg, made by whisking an egg into boiling fermented glutinous rice wine. It was sweet with a mellow flavor. He also ate a palm-sized mianwo, one of the few fried breakfast items he wasn't allergic to. He liked to break it open to eat the crispy and delicious inner ring first, then take a bite of the soft and tender outer ring. It was savory, fragrant, and crisp, and you could taste the flavors of rice slurry and soybean.

"Do you still have evening self-study tonight?" Song Yu handed him a napkin.

At the mention of this, Yue Zhishi's spirits sank. "Yeah."

"Let's go back after lunch. I'll take you." Song Yu also took a sip of the sweet fermented rice with egg. "Just get through this period, and then you can rest."

Although Yue Zhishi really didn't want to leave, he still nodded. "Besides, Cotton Candy must not be used to being home alone."

Song Yu observed Yue Zhishi's expression. He didn't look too sad. It seemed he really had grown up.

After eating, Yue Zhishi said the fried food was a bit greasy and he wanted to buy a drink, so Song Yu had to take him to the campus supermarket he had gone to yesterday. Yue Zhishi was a typical Libra with severe indecisiveness, so he stood fixedly in front of the beverage cooler for a long time.

Song Yu stood there with him. There were quite a few people coming and going, and many girls were glancing in Yue Zhishi's direction. His appearance was outstanding, and he had a mixed-race face that set him apart from the crowd, so attracting attention was a common occurrence. But Song Yu felt uncomfortable.

This felt even worse than being stared at himself.

"Is this the one you were chugging like crazy yesterday?" Yue Zhishi picked up a cherry-flavored cola and looked back at Song Yu.

Song Yu corrected him. "It wasn't to the point of being crazy. I only drank it because I was thirsty."

This drink reminded him of an equally unpleasant memory.

Yue Zhishi looked at the packaging and made a little face of disgust. "Don't you think this is a lot like that fever syrup we drank as kids? It's identical." After saying that, he put it down and picked up a bottle of lemon-flavored soda water. "I'll have this."

At the checkout counter, Yue Zhishi also grabbed a lemon-flavored lollipop and had Song Yu pay for it as well.

After they went outside, Song Yu began to instruct him, "You can't just casually eat things other people give you at school."

"I don't," Yue Zhishi retorted. "I'm not that stupid."

'He clearly had already agreed to eat the meal someone brought from home.'

"Whether it's fish or some dessert, it's not like we don't have them at home. There's no need to eat things given to you by outsiders."

Yue Zhishi thought the tone in which he said this was a bit strange, but he still agreed. "I know."

Only then did Song Yu let it go. The two of them took a walk around campus. In places with a lot of standing water, Yue Zhishi's feet were soaked. He accidentally stepped on something and cried out.

Song Yu looked down and saw that it was actually a red koi fish, but his tone was calm.

"It probably escaped from the nearby lake after the flood."

But Yue Zhishi didn't think it was ordinary. He felt he was super lucky and even put his palms together and bowed to the koi he had stepped on. "Bless me so I can successfully get into your hometown."

Song Yu called him superstitious, but he started to chide Song Yu, "When you were taking your college entrance exams, I went through all the trouble of praying to the gods and buddhas for you."

The corners of Song Yu's usually straight lips couldn't help but curve up slightly. He naturally went along with it and asked, "Then what do you want for your college entrance exams?"

Hearing him say that, Yue Zhishi was taken aback for a moment. He hadn't considered this question at all. "I have to think about it." Soon, he said, "First..."

Song Yu raised an eyebrow. "How many requests do you have?"

Yue Zhishi grabbed his arm to stop him from interrupting, then looked up at Song Yu and said, "First, I hope you can encourage me to get into W University. I haven't thought about the rest yet. The deadline is automatically extended to one week after the college entrance exams are over."

Song Yu lowered his eyes, a half-smile on his face, as if indulging and tacitly approving of this rule-bending behavior.

Yue Zhishi saved the lollipop he bought to eat when he was leaving. The holiday was almost over, and the subway station was crowded. Song Yu swiped his card, saying he would take him home, but Yue Zhishi didn't want Song Yu to have to take the subway back alone, so he maturely refused.

The previous train roared away just as they were getting off the escalator, and Yue Zhishi felt very fortunate.

He and Song Yu stood side-by-side in front of the subway's platform screen doors, their reflections mirrored in the glass. He was wearing Song Yu's clothes from head to toe, but he didn't look any more like Song Yu. But the current Yue Zhishi was starting to learn not to be anxious about a non-existent blood relationship.

Thinking of himself at the last parent-teacher conference, Yue Zhishi, with the lollipop in his mouth, even let out a laugh.

While waiting for the train, Yue Zhishi repeatedly brought up his request from last night, and Song Yu patiently agreed, promising he would definitely come home to see him next weekend.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" Yue Zhishi tilted his head up to look into Song Yu's eyes, his lips pursed in a beautiful smile.

The sound of the next train grew closer, and the announcer's voice came from overhead.

[Dear passengers, the train bound for Tianhe Airport is now arriving...]

His attention drawn by the arriving train, Yue Zhishi leaned forward slightly, turning his head to look toward the bright lights on the track. The next second, his wrist was grabbed.

[...Please allow passengers to alight before boarding. Mind the gap between the platform and the train.]

The gap shortened, and Song Yu's voice sounded by his ear.

"Lele."

Yue Zhishi turned his head back and looked at him blankly.

Song Yu's expression was very soft, different from usual. "As for encouragement, I actually wrote it on your math supplementary book during the last parent-teacher conference." His eyes held a hint of slyness, but his expression was calm. "I knew you don't like math and wouldn't flip back through it. As expected, you didn't notice."

The subway doors and platform screen doors opened. The long, enclosed space suddenly opened up, and a crowd of people in a hurry poured out, heading in different directions. Yue Zhishi felt his wrist being released as he was pushed by the crowd into the small, moving space.

He discovered that Song Yu was very cunning, very good at hiding things. He could hide a riddle for a very, very long time, and then reveal a clue just when Yue Zhishi could no longer press for an answer.

Song Yu was very good at torturing people. Yue Zhishi now couldn't wait to go back.

The doors closed, and the announcements shifted from outside to inside the car.

[...Please hold on tight. The next station is...]

Yue Zhishi's phone vibrated. He tapped it, and a message popped up.

[Brother: Actually, I really hope you can get into W University.]

[Brother: I'll be waiting for you here.]