Fake Slackers

Fake Slackers

Chapter 58 - Chapter 58

Whether it counts as meeting the parents or not, the way this guy behaved just now was quite similar to that, constantly trying to impress Aunt Mei. He seemed more like the godson than Xie Yu.

"It counts," Xie Yu took two steps forward. "So remember to finish the walnuts given by the parents."

He Chao looked down at the bag in his hand, and the joy of meeting the parents was somewhat diminished.

At the dinner table just now, they didn't say much to each other, afraid of revealing too much. They were focused on making small movements under the table. So Xie Yu now teased, "You were walking with such a swagger this afternoon, Brother Chao."

He Chao replied, "It was good, wasn't it. Walking on the street, it felt like the whole street belonged to me."

"I was being sarcastic, yet you still take it as a compliment?" The buses here come every half an hour, and the last one had probably just left just left. The station sign is crooked, and there are no seats for waiting, making it look exceptionally shabby.

When He Chao arrived, he didn't pay attention to these details and just wanted to find a place to sit. All he saw were four bare poles. Based on those four poles, one could imagine what the seating area used to look like. "This place of yours, it's quite unique..."

When Xie Yu came during the summer, the seats were already like this. At that time, Zhou Dalei was even squatting on the street waiting for him.

"A while ago, they were stolen, but we found them back through surveillance footage," Xie Yu briefly explained the sensational theft case. He paused for a moment and added, "They were probably stolen again."

The neighborhood committee auntie is always the busiest person in this area, dealing with endless trivial matters on the street, worrying herself sick. Every few days, you can hear someone from the committee with a red armband and a megaphone shouting, "Where did the manhole cover go?! Who stole it?"

"And who smashed the bus stop sign? And those waiting seats, what can you even do with them after sawing them off and carrying them home?"

Hearing this, He Chao couldn't help but laugh, "So extreme?"

But there's more.

That manhole cover was later found to have been stolen by a thug from the neighboring street. Of course, the residents there wouldn't admit to it and the two streets ended up arguing over a manhole cover for half a day, almost making it to the local news.

He Chao asked, "Did they end up fighting?"

Xie Yu replied, "No, do we look that uncivilized?"



They didn't actually fight, but a few old ladies from the Blackwater Street neighborhood committee snuck over in the dead of night and stole the manhole cover from the neighboring street.

The people on the other street were completely caught off guard and were left dumbfounded the next morning.

After finishing his story, Xie Yu noticed He Chao standing there in a daze. He stopped and waved his hand in front of him, saying, "Hey."

Xie Yu waved twice, but quickly lost patience and was about to slap him when He Chao suddenly grabbed his hand. He slowly squeezed his fingers into Xie Yu's and whispered, "...Before today, I had only seen this place in the photos you took."

What He Chao didn't say was that it wasn't until he came here today that those photos came to life...the small animals that darted out from the grass, with traces of mud and water on their bodies from playing in the puddles, dried up and turned into a black lump, squinting under the sun.

Every brick, every building that has been through, and all the sounds around here.

He finally understood where Xie Yu's contradictory and attractive traits came from - using a hard shell to block out all the malice in the world, such as his annoyed and unfriendly attitude towards strangers.

But the soft part of his heart remained spotless.

He felt like he had so much to say, but in the end, he just held the little friend's hand and said, "I think I'm beyond saving."

As Xie Yu walked, he listened to the sound of the plastic bag rubbing against itself and was reminded of the walnuts. He secretly thought to himself: I also feel like you're beyond saving.

With a brain like this, eating walnuts is probably useless.

The two of them waited for a while, and half an hour had passed, but the bus still hadn't arrived.

Xie Yu wanted to check the time, but he realized that he forgot to charge his phone last night. The battery couldn't hold up, and as soon as he turned on the screen, it dimmed again after a few seconds. He nudged He Chao with his elbow and asked, "Where's your phone?"

He Chao replied, "In my left pocket."

Xie Yu's finger had just touched the edge of He Chao's jeans pocket, and the denim fabric was a bit stiff. Before he could even put his hand in, He Chao warned him, "Behave yourself, don't touch anything."

Xie Yu's finger paused, "You have quite the imagination."


This time wasn't considered early or late, but they still had to factor in the nearly hour-long journey ahead.

After some thought, Xie Yu decided to give Madam Gu a call to inform her.

He noticed that He Chao's phone interface was very simple, with only a few mobile apps, but the game category was packed with a bunch of icons. At first glance, he could only see a few pink icons, and in the corner, there was a familiar green one.

Without paying much attention, Xie Yu intended to press the dial icon in the bottom right corner, but accidentally touched the browser button on the left side of the dial key.

Since it was a matter of privacy, Xie Yu didn't have the intention to snoop through someone else's phone. His hand reacted faster than his brain, and he instinctively pressed the back button to return to the main interface.

However, he was certain that he had seen something abnormal on the browser page that had flashed by just now.

After hesitating for two seconds, Xie Yu clicked back into the browser.

- Baidu Knows: Ten essential kissing techniques.


Xie Yu glanced up at He Chao, who was now playing with a wild cat that had poked half of its body out of the bushes. The boy was crouched on the side of the street, one hand holding a plastic bag and the other hand extended, whistling at the cat, which only stared back at him warily.

In the end, He Chao had no choice but to crouch down and snap his fingers. He looked handsome, but the cat was frightened and let out a low meow before turning its head and disappearing into the depths of the bushes.

"Why are you running? It's not like it's going to eat you," He Chao said.

Just as he was about to stand up, he noticed that the little friend had crouched down next to him. He turned his head and asked, "Did you finish your call?"

Xie Yu handed him the phone, saying, "I called, but no one answered."

Madam Gu probably had to go out and left her phone at home. She didn't like to use the landline at the Zhong's house, which was usually answered by the maid who would greet him with "Second Young Master".

What a ridiculous title.

He Chao still didn't know that his secret search for kissing techniques on Baidu had been exposed. He took the phone and casually stuffed it into his pocket. As he stood up, he heard Xie Yu call out to him, "He Chao."

He Chao paused and looked over, "Hmm?"

Xie Yu was still crouching, but imitated the way he had lured the cat earlier and beckoned him with a finger.

He Chao had one hand in his pocket and bent down slightly. When he was still a distance away from Xie Yu, he was about to say "What are you doing?" when suddenly Xie Yu grabbed his collar and pulled him down.

Xie Yu's fingers suddenly tightened, and the joints turned white from the force. He squatted down, grabbing onto He Chao's collar for leverage, and lifted himself up a bit. It was a simple and rough move, catching He Chao off guard as Xie Yu approached him.

In the next second...

Xie Yu's lips were on his.

He Chao was completely stunned.

His heart was pounding wildly, despite having studied kissing techniques so many times. He even forgot to close his eyes.

He saw Xie Yu's face tilt back, his neck taut with a beautiful line. He wasn't sure if it was because of nerves, but Xie Yu's Adam's apple even twitched slightly. This subtle movement was inconspicuous, but it was completely different from the dominant behavior he had shown.

Xie Yu kissed him for a while before slowly opening his eyes.

He Chao fell into Xie Yu's eyes just like that.

The street lamp behind them was on, shining on the muddy ground, cutting through the night and creating a beautiful halo.

Xie Yu remembered what he had seen on He Chao's phone earlier, so he tentatively stuck out his tongue and moistened He Chao's tightly closed lips.


Then Xie Yu completely forgot what was written about kissing techniques. He only remembered that the other person's lips were very soft, and just touching them made his whole body feel hot.

Before Xie Yu let go, He Chao heard him say, "You don't look for me, but look for Baidu. You really love studying, huh, Brother Chao."

Just then, the bus turned the corner from the street, with the number 21 flashing in red on the front. The long bus body turned the corner on the bumpy road, causing the bus to shake violently.

They both returned to City A, with a transfer in between. They sat on the same bus, but after getting off at the terminal, they had to switch to a different one.

Worried about a repeat of the incident where He Chao couldn't even count out a thirty yuan fare, Xie Yu decided to pay for both of them. Then, he dragged this handsome idiot to the back of the bus.

The evening bus wasn't very crowded, with only two or three people sitting in the front row. The lighting inside the bus wasn't great, especially when there were fewer people, and from a distance, it looked like a dark, empty space.

Especially in the corner of the back row, where you could barely see anyone sitting.

For a while, He Chao didn't say anything, and Xie Yu was thinking that this guy could be shy for rather long. Then he heard He Chao whisper in his ear, "Fuck, I'm hard."


"When you were licking just now."

Earlier, Xie Yu was quite composed. But when He Chao mentioned "licking," all the details of their kiss came flooding back to him. After a moment of hesitation, he asked, "Why don't you search on Baidu?"

He Chao: "..."

Xie Yu continued, "'Got hard on a public bus. What to do?'"

As it turned out, there wasn't much he could do, but no matter what he couldn't sit next to his little friend. He Chao bent over and moved to a seat in front of Xie Yu, trying to calm down.

They sat in silence, one in front of the other.

The bus jolted along.

When He Chao had calmed down enough, he cleared his throat and asked, "About that...Baidu search."

"I saw it by accident," Xie Yu replied, huddled in the back seat and feeling a bit dizzy from the bumps. "What have you been thinking about all day?"

Since the incident in the equipment room, He Chao never mentioned kissing again. He suddenly became very pure and simple, which was strange. He didn't expect that this person was planning to practice his kissing skills before coming to find him again.

He Chao didn't say anything. He lowered his head and played with his phone for a while, then handed it over to Xie Yu.

Xie Yu reached out and took it. The screen of the phone showed an article forwarded by Shen Jie on QQ space. The name was very embarrassing, called "A Must-Read for Teenage Boys' First Kiss". When he forwarded it, he even tagged his good buddy He Chao: Brother Chao! Look! Good stuff!

- Some first kiss killers make people not want to come back for a second time.

- If you don't want to be this kind of 'killer', then you must master these techniques.

Xie Yu didn't know what to say anymore: "What is Shen Jie forwarding this for, isn't he a single dog."

He Chao said, "...He said he was preparing for the future."


A little frog who likes reading. Hope you liked this chapter, and thank you for your support! Coffee fuels my midnight translation binges.

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