Chapter 30

The young man wasn't as wild as the few people beside him. He looked cold as he played the guitar, his eyes lowered. The god-like lights converging on him made his entire being incredibly dazzling.

In the last few seconds of the video, the guitarist seemed to hear the shouts from offstage and turned his head slightly toward the camera.

And so, the light gradually outlined the young man's eyes and brows.

Those features held an indescribable hint of wickedness, and the light subtly traced his long, sharp eyebrows.

Although this fact was hard to believe, there was no doubt that the person on stage, radiant and playing a mind-blowing guitar shred solo...

...was Lu Yan.

The video, less than thirteen seconds long, finished playing.

Lu Yan's fingers resting on the edge of the desk curled unconsciously, clutching the draft paper underneath.

He didn't know how this video ended up on the computer. In an instant, all his thoughts and senses receded, his mind turning blank. At the same time, it felt as if countless threads were tangled together, leaving only the scene from a moment ago replaying over and over.

For a moment, no one spoke.

Until he heard the "click" of a lighter.

Xiao Heng stared at the "Unknown File" for a while, his thumb unconsciously flicking the lighter, then asked, "You?"

Lu Yan gradually came back to his senses, but his mind was still a mess. He blurted out, "My younger brother."

“...”

Xiao Heng said, "Oh. Your brother plays the guitar pretty well."

It was more than just "pretty well."

Even though Xiao Heng wasn't an expert on the guitar, he could tell good from bad.

Zhai Zhuangzhi had once specially hired a guitar teacher, who was said to have graduated from some music academy. In short, his resume was quite impressive. After a few lessons, he thought he was incredibly skilled and insisted on dragging him and Qiu Shaofeng over to watch him show off his playing.

Xiao Heng remembered lying on the sofa in the corner, picking up a guitar book to cover his face and sleep. Before teaching, the teacher with the impressive resume had shown off a piece himself—the skill level of the guitarist in the video just now was far better than the slap performance he'd heard that day before he fell asleep with the book on his face.

Lu Yan suddenly let go, pushed off the ground with one foot, and leaned over, moving the mouse towards the 'X' to close the player. "I also think my brother is pretty damn awesome."

However, whether it was due to a bad angle or the mouse's poor sensitivity, Lu Yan couldn't control the mouse at all. The cursor hovered around the 'X', failing to click it after several attempts.

"Dumb son, do you even know how to use a computer?" Xiao Heng's sarcastic remark sounded by his ear.

Lu Yan's chaotic mind temporarily stopped thinking, ushering in a moment of "leisure." This leisure came from the fact that he didn't have to consider anything else right now, only how to curse back.

"Fuck." Lu Yan almost threw the mouse at Xiao Heng's face.

He emphasized again, "This computer is still Lao-zi's! Mine!"

After Lu Yan finished speaking.

The next second

Xiao Heng's hand covered his.

Xiao Heng released the hand holding the lighter and placed it over the back of Lu Yan's hand.

The moment his hand covered it, he discovered that Lu Yan's hand was not just cool, but bone-chillingly so, and was trembling imperceptibly.

Xiao Heng didn't say anything unnecessary. He just guided his hand to move the mouse slightly. Lu Yan felt a gentle force pressing down on him, and then the cursor on the screen stabilized, landing right on the "X".

The man's rough, warm fingertip rested lightly on the first knuckle of his index finger.

The mouse clicked.

The computer screen switched back to the desktop.

However, even after closing the video, the images from it still slowly surfaced in his mind.

The bullshit about it being his younger brother was something no normal person would believe; the excuse was just too terrible.

Lu Yan took a deep breath.

Of course Xiao Heng wouldn't believe such bullshit.

This neighbor of his, buying such an expensive instrument.

He could write songs, yet his guitar playing was that bad.

His strength was as weak as a little girl's.

...

Finally, Xiao Heng glanced at Lu Yan's wrist as if unintentionally. From this angle, he could just see the inside of his wrist, where a horn protruded from a black tattoo.

"I've been meaning to say," Xiao Heng released his hand and leaned back as if nothing had happened, speaking in his usual tone as if he had believed the bullshit, "Can you change this desktop background?"

Lu Yan's computer desktop was a picture of their band. To say "band" wasn't quite accurate, because he himself was standing in the middle and was especially close to the camera, while the other members were squeezed into a corner, looking small, blurry, and pitiful.

The frame was basically all Lu Yan.

Every time Xiao Heng closed a window and returned to the desktop, he would see Lu Yan squatting on a speaker, a rose clenched between his teeth, looking at him with a wicked charm: "..."

The topic was changed.

Lu Yan wasn't ready to face the torrent of the past rushing toward him. He breathed a sigh of relief, having never found Xiao Heng's venomous tongue with its built-in sarcastic tone so comforting. "I think it's handsome. No."

"This video..." After a moment, Lu Yan spoke again, "Where did it come from? Can you find out?"

"I can. You want me to?"

Lu Yan was sure he wouldn't have saved... a four-year-old video on his own computer.

Lu Yan grunted in affirmation.

Xiao Heng straightened up, placed a hand on the keyboard, and pulled up the information for this unknown file in a few quick moves.

"The file source is an email attachment," Xiao Heng said, casually scrolling the wheel and picking out the source from a pile of information. "You might have downloaded it by mistake, or maybe you checked the auto-download and save function before."

Xiao Heng scrolled down further and discovered that the email client was one of the junk software programs he had just deleted.

It was a convenient email client that had been popular a few years ago but had long since faded from the market due to too many viruses and bugs. Besides, judging from the usage history, Lu Yan hadn't used this thing in years.

Xiao Heng scrolled to the very end and found a string of an email address. He casually grabbed the pen and paper Lu Yan had been doodling on earlier, copied down the string of letters and numbers, and finally capped the pen, saying, "This is the sender."

dap1234567.

Xiao Heng didn't say any more. Just before shutting down the computer and leaving, he patted him on the head. "Dog son, I'm leaving."

“...”

Lu Yan said, "Get lost."

After Xiao Heng left, the room became empty.

Lu Yan first smoked a cigarette. After lighting it, he tossed the lighter onto the desk, then picked up the piece of paper. He looked at the few English letters through the smoke, finally connecting them to a young, immature face.

It was a third-year middle school boy who used to trail after him when he first started playing in bands.

The kid was talented, and his skills improved by leaps and bounds, especially after Lu Yan taught him guitar.

The boy's hoarse, voice-cracking voice seemed to echo in his ears, incessantly chasing after him, saying, "I heard you're the best guitarist around here. One day I'll be even better than you!"

"My math and English scores combined didn't even break 60 this time, but having bad grades has its perks... My mom didn't want me to learn this at first, but she came around. As long as I can get into a university in the future, any university is still a university. When I get into a music academy, I'll come find you then, and we'll have a serious competition!"

Lu Yan lay down on the bed and closed his eyes.

His vision turned black, but faces still appeared with extreme clarity: the short lead singer, the bassist, the keyboardist...

That was the first band he had officially joined.

He still remembered the name. It was pretty childish: Black Heart.

Although he had joined two other bands before high school, those kinds of school bands formed by students never lasted long, disbanding in less than half a year. "Disband" wasn't exactly the right word; in fact, there wasn't really a concept of "disbanding" back then. It was just that people gradually stopped showing up for practice, and rehearsals were always short-staffed.

It was only after starting high school that playing in a band became more serious, when they started performing in bars to earn a living.

What was he like back then?

Lu Yan remembered sleeping in the bar's storage room on weekends and holidays back then, listening to one song on repeat, especially the line: just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.

(I must get out, I must escape this place)

As Lu Yan's thoughts drifted, he started to feel sleepy, but the last scene that popped into his mind was a dim KTV private room.

A row of liquor bottles lay haphazardly on the table.

"Who the hell does he think he is? Playing some stupid guitar, he actually thinks he's—"

Thinking of this, Lu Yan's eyes snapped open, all sleepiness gone.

Time seemed to crawl in the dark and silent night. Lu Yan lay there for over half an hour before finally reaching for the phone by his pillow.

After browsing the web for a bit, he opened WeChat, hesitated for a moment, and finally tapped on the black profile picture.

Lu Yan stared at the blackness and tapped his finger into the input field.

But thinking about it, there was nothing to send.

He repeatedly entered the input screen. After a few minutes, a message from Xiao Heng arrived first.

[Xiao Heng]: ?

[Xiao Heng]: [/Image]

Xiao Heng had sent a screenshot. Next to the two words "Dog Son," there was a "[typing...]" notification.

[Xiao Heng]: Typing for half a day. Are you writing an essay?

For a moment, Lu Yan didn't know whether to focus on the nickname "Dog Son" or to ask why he had opened their chat window for no reason. He obviously couldn't ask the latter... since he himself had also been staring at Xiao Heng's chat window for a long time.

Lu Yan still hadn't figured out what to reply.

'Should I say I was bored?'

'My hand slipped?'

Just as Lu Yan was thinking, the phone in his hand vibrated twice. A voice call from Xiao Heng was coming through.

"Not asleep yet?" Xiao Heng's voice was lazy to begin with, and now, presumably lying in bed, it sounded even deeper and huskier. Coming through the receiver, it was as if he were speaking right next to his ear. However, he then continued, "What essay are you writing... 'My Dearest Father'?"

Lu Yan: “...”

That voice was such a waste.

After a moment of silence, the two started chatting idly. Lu Yan asked, "What's with that nickname?"

Xiao Heng: "Don't like it?"

Lu Yan had only one thing to say: “...Change it for Lao-zi.”

Xiao Heng: "Change it to what?"

Lu Yan: "Change it to Brother Yan."

"Yan Dog?"

"Brother Yan! Fuck!"

Xiao Heng chuckled.

The voice coming from the phone was different from when they spoke face-to-face.

It was too close.

They were clearly separated by two walls and a hallway, yet it had never felt so close. All his senses were infinitely magnified by this voice whispering next to his ear.

Lu Yan could even clearly perceive how each sound was formed between Xiao Heng's lips and teeth as he spoke. He also heard the slightly drawn-out tail ends of his words. The man's tone was consistently lazy, sinking down along with the inky blackness of the night.

Toward the end of the conversation, neither of them spoke anymore.

And no one suggested hanging up.

...

The call timer ticked by, second by second, minute by minute.

Lu Yan lay on his bed, his eyes on the unlit room, his ears filled with the sound of Xiao Heng's soft, lingering breaths.

The author has something to say:

dap: I finally have... three letters.

Note: The song is Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody