Chapter 25 Part 2

Shen Bei: "Come up and hang out when you're free."

Song Ran: "Okay. Goodbye."

Song Ran got out of the elevator and walked swiftly into the office area. As soon as she sat down, she began to flip through some documents. She finally found the phone number for the garrison command, the one she had gotten from Chen Feng for an interview months ago.

She took a breath and dialed the number.

However, the person who answered the phone was not Chen Feng.

As for the whereabouts of Chen Feng and Li Zan, the answer she received was that it was a military secret and could not be disclosed.

Song Ran hung up the phone and stared out the window at the bleak, gray winter, lost in thought for a long time.

She had actually looked into the Hapo bombing incident but couldn't find any information about Li Zan.

She couldn't contact Luo Zhan either—the peacekeeping mission had been replaced by a new contingent of troops, and they wouldn't answer any questions about the events involving the previous unit.

Three months.

She had never thought that in this day and age, it could be so easy to completely lose contact with someone.

After work that day, Song Ran stubbornly went to Luoyu Mountain.

In winter, the mountain was cold and desolate, covered in fallen leaves. Soldiers stood guard outside the garrison department. She went up to ask about Li Zan. The response she received was silence.

A stubborn streak took over, and she squatted by the gate for a long time, fantasizing that she might just happen to run into Li Zan coming in or out.

Naturally, it was to no avail.

December passed, and in the blink of an eye, it was a new year.

The temperature in Liang City plummeted again. The cold wind blowing from the river's surface could chill you to the bone with its dampness.

In the damp and cold South, air conditioning was of little use.

When Song Ran worked at her desk at home, she had to turn on an electric heater, but even so, her fingers tapping on the keyboard were frozen stiff.

The writing of "Chronicles of Dongguo" was not going well. She would open the manuscript, but she couldn't write a single decent sentence.

During this time, her condition grew worse and worse. During the day, she could still force herself to get through work. But at night, when she was alone, she would often find herself sitting numbly by the window for hours, unable to sleep even when she was lying in bed.

In the dead of night, she felt like she was a deserted island in the darkness.

And Li Zan, on another island, seemed to have vanished. His comb, his apple, his red string, his dance under the moonlight... everything was like the forest of white olive trees in the desert that day, disappearing without a trace.

Along with him, all the joys and sorrows, the pain and suffering of Dongguo, everything that had happened on September twenty-sixth, had also disappeared.

That tragic past, before it could be processed and resolved, had been sealed away. She couldn't speak of it to anyone. Because they hadn't experienced it, hadn't witnessed it, they wouldn't understand—it was just a war, what was so hard to get over?

The sorrows and joys of human beings are not interconnected. So, she alone was locked on a deserted island, watching the people on the passing cruise ships singing and dancing, reveling night after night.

On the first weekend of January, Yang Huilun asked her to come home for dinner.

It was very cold that day, and it was raining. The traffic was at a complete standstill.

Song Ran sat in her car, listening to the frequent, piercing honks of horns around her. At first, it was just unease, but gradually she developed a throbbing headache. The sounds were like knives tearing at her nerves.

She felt an inexplicable sense of suffocation, wanting to scratch through the windshield with her bare fingernails.

Song Yang called to ask where she was. She said she was stuck in traffic.

Ten minutes later, Song Zhicheng called to ask where she was. She said she was stuck in traffic.

Twenty minutes later, Yang Huilun called to ask where she was. She said she was stuck in traffic.

Half an hour later, Yang Huilun called again.

Song Ran lost control for a moment. "I've told you a million times I'm stuck in traffic, why do you keep rushing me! If you're so impatient, don't invite me over next time!"

She hung up the phone, trembling with anger. But after the anger subsided, she regretted being so harsh. She couldn't manage her own emotions and had taken her bad temper out on her family.

It was seven-thirty in the evening when she got home.

Song Ran's footsteps were heavy as she climbed the stairs, her heart uneasy. When she reached her front door and pushed it open, the house was quiet. Song Zhicheng was sitting on the sofa reading the news on his phone, Yang Huilun was in the kitchen reheating the dishes, and Song Yang was in her room video-chatting with her boyfriend, Lu Tao.

Everyone was waiting for her to eat.

Song Ran's eyes grew moist, and she felt even more guilty.

"I'm back."

Song Zhicheng put down his phone and went to the kitchen to help bring out the dishes. Song Yang also hung up the phone and slipped out, calling her affectionately, "Sis, you didn't get carsick, did you?"

"...A little."

"Then have a cup of hot water first."

"Okay."

The four of them sat around the table for dinner. Song Ran felt a little embarrassed and remained silent. It was Song Yang who chattered on and on about her work. She worked as a clerk in a small company with a low salary that couldn't even cover her monthly expenses.

But Yang Huilun was already very satisfied that she was willing to work steadily, saying that as long as she worked hard, she would reward her with five hundred yuan a month.

Song Yang snorted, "What can five hundred do?"

Yang Huilun said, "You only make a little over two thousand a month, and you're looking down on it?"

Song Zhicheng asked Song Ran, "I saw on the news that your station is planning to submit the photos you took for a competition?"

Song Ran gave a vague "mhm."

"You didn't even tell me about something so important, so I could be happy about it."

"I was busy and forgot," Song Ran said. "There are tons of photos competing globally, I might not win an award."

She couldn't imagine the attacks and curses she would suffer if she actually won.

And as for whether that photo was truly anti-human, she herself couldn't say for sure.

"I think you'll definitely win an award," Song Zhicheng said.

"I think so too," Song Yang added. "Foreign media are all publishing my sister's photos."

"What award is it?" Yang Huilun didn't understand.

Song Yang said, "A really prestigious one. It's like the Nobel Prize of the news world."

"I knew Ran Ran would be successful. You, you should learn from your sister. Wasting your days away, I see where you'll end up."

"If my sister becomes a big celebrity in the future, why would I have to worry about not having a good life?"

"All you do is talk big."

Song Ran ate her food and said no more.

After dinner, Song Zhicheng found the CANDY photo on his phone and wanted to analyze it with Song Ran. But Song Ran said she was a little tired and didn't want to talk about work.

Song Zhicheng didn't press her, just kept saying how successful she was, as if he was certain she would win the award.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Yang Huilun and Song Yang started arguing again, still over the matter of marriage. Yang Huilun complained that Lu Tao couldn't afford a house and that his family was offering too little for the bride price, scolding Song Yang for selling herself short. Song Yang, on the other hand, argued that bride prices were outdated and that Yang Huilun was selling her daughter.

The argument was heated and irreconcilable.

Seeing this, Song Ran left early.

On the way home, her phone rang. It was the book planner, Luo Junfeng.

Song Ran rubbed her forehead, took a deep breath, and put on her earpiece. "Hello?"

For the past few months, Luo Junfeng had been following all the reports Song Ran was involved in, such as those on the peacekeepers, refugee camps, and the border. At the same time, he had also been following the news about Song Ran herself, fully aware of her injury, her rise to fame, and the controversy she had sparked.

Because he understood, he was even more excited for the completion of "Chronicles of Dongguo." He had a gut feeling that it would be a good book that would cause a huge stir in society.

But Song Ran had told him the truth: she was not in a good state and was unable to write.

Luo Junfeng asked, "Can you not write your regular articles for work either?"

"I'm not very focused. But if I try hard, I can manage to write them."

"It's just this book you can't write?"

"Yes."

"What about reviewing the written records and video footage you shot in Dongguo?"

Song Ran was silent.

"You haven't looked at them?"

"...No." She had never touched that memory again.

Luo Junfeng was silent on the other end for a moment, then asked, "Song Ran."

"Yes?"

"Do you feel like you have wronged that country, especially the people you photographed?"

Song Ran was driving and did not answer.

"Have you seen a therapist since you returned to the country?"

"I'm fine."

"You were stationed in a war zone for two months, witnessed several battles and civilian casualties, as well as a massacre, were injured in an explosion, and subjected to verbal attacks. Any one of these things, taken out on its own, is not 'fine'. I think it's very much 'not fine'." He said, "In your current state, you must see a therapist. If you drag this on any longer, I'm afraid something will happen."