Chapter 24

It was a long time before Song Ran learned of the consequences of that explosion.

At the instant of the explosion, she was hit by the direct shockwave. Her spleen ruptured, her corneas were partially damaged, and she suffered multiple lacerations on her body.

She was rushed to the Doctors Without Borders hospital, then transferred to the capital, Gamma, and soon after, transferred back to the country.

Throughout the journey, Song Ran was unconscious most of the time. Sometimes, it seemed she had a sliver of consciousness, but the intense pain left her unable to move. The world was pitch black, and her ears were filled with languages she couldn't understand.

She vaguely remembered being carried onto a stretcher, the huge gusts of wind from the helicopter's propellers, the doctors' arguments, and hearing familiar Chinese on the plane at one point.

But in those blurry fragments of memory, there was no Li Zan. He never came to her side from beginning to end.

Most of the time, she was lost in endless nightmares. In her dreams, black-clad extremists with emotionless faces swept through the streets, guns in hand. Bullets pierced women's chests, and bayonets cut off children's heads.

At the end of the nightmare, she heard someone shout 'Ah Zan,' and Li Zan lunged past her, brushing by her shoulder.

Before she could react, she watched helplessly as the bomb exploded.

...

When Song Ran regained consciousness, she was lying in a hospital room in Liang City Hospital, thick gauze wrapped around her eyes, unable to perceive a single ray of light.

From outside the room came the sound of a hushed argument. It was Song Zhicheng and Ran Yuwei:

"I never agreed to her going to Dongguo in the first place, but you? You supported her relentlessly. You're great at playing the good guy in front of our daughter, while I always have to be the bad one! Now that she's ended up like this, what do you suggest we do?"

"Calm down. The doctor said it's not very serious; she'll be fine after a small surgery. No one wants an accident to happen. Don't you think my heart aches too? But this is the career she chose for herself, and you've seen her success..."

"I see you for who you are now. Vain! Hypocritical! You've achieved nothing yourself, so you expect your child to trade her life for fame!"

"Now you're just spouting nonsense!"

"You have many daughters, but I only have this one. If something really happens to her eyes, I'm not done with you!"

Song Ran felt a bit panicked. She reached out in the darkness, only grabbing the bedsheet.

"Sis, you're awake?" Song Yang grabbed her hand.

"Sis!"

"Ran Ran?"

"Ran Ran's awake!"

In an instant, the room was filled with voices: Yang Huilun, Song Yang, Ran Chi, her uncle and aunt...

Soon, Ran Yuwei came in. "Ran Ran? Are you uncomfortable anywhere?"

Song Ran was uncomfortable everywhere; everywhere hurt, as if she had countless torn wounds inside and outside her body. She wanted to cry but couldn't. She managed to open her mouth, her voice hoarse, "My eyes... what happened?"

"It's nothing," Ran Yuwei said, stroking her face. "It's just a small injury. You'll be fine after a minor surgery in a few days."

Ran Chi also leaned closer. "Sis, don't be scared. It's nothing."

But Song Ran had no reaction, as if she felt neither grief nor fear.

She was dazed for a moment, then suddenly said, "I smell a fragrance. Is it flowers?"

Her aunt said, "Many people came to see you. The room is filled with flowers. You'll be able to see them in a few days when your eyes are better. We even had to move a lot of them out."

She was dazed for another long moment, then asked, "Who came to see me?"

"The leaders and colleagues from your TV station."

"...Oh." She said no more.

It seemed someone else in the room was talking to her, but she wasn't listening, her thoughts drifting away like smoke.

A few days later, Song Ran underwent corneal repair surgery. The surgery was a success. During her stay in the hospital, Xiao Qiu and the others came to see her a few times, but no one else did.

That person was in faraway Dongguo; it was impossible for him to come see her.

On the day the gauze was removed, her family was all there, except for Yang Huilun. Ran Yuwei found it unbearable to be in the same room with her.

The doctor examined Song Ran's eyes. There were no major problems. She just needed to stay in the hospital for a few days of observation before she could be discharged and return to her normal work and life. However, she had to avoid strenuous exercise and impacts to her head.

Song Ran squinted, her eyes adjusting to the light. She looked out the window. It was early October, and autumn had arrived in Liang City. The window was open a crack, and the wind blowing in was a bit chilly.

That evening, Xiao Qiu came to see her. She was very happy to learn that Song Ran would soon be able to return to work. "I was so scared something would happen to you and you wouldn't be able to work. I was worried sick. Thank goodness, heaven be praised!"

Xiao Chun also said proudly, "Ran Ran, you're the living symbol of our TV station now."

Song Ran didn't understand. "What do you mean?"

Xiao Xia was about to say something, but realizing her excited expression was inappropriate, she became a bit more serious and sighed, "Did you know? The massacre in the suburbs of Hapo City... 187 civilians died, and 68 of them were... children. In addition, 13 soldiers were injured."

When Song Ran heard the word "children," her mind went blank, and she couldn't hear anything that followed. All these days, she had been desperately forcing herself not to think back. But in that instant, the streets full of bodies and blood appeared clearly before her eyes again.

Xiao Qiu didn't notice Song Ran's pale face and said, "The video and photos you took became the only physical evidence. The international community is in an uproar. Because of this massacre, the Western media is strongly condemning terrorism. I saw on the news today that several countries have already pledged to send troops to aid the Dongguo government. The war might undergo a fundamental change. Ran Ran, this is all thanks to you."

Xiao Dong also said, "When I was studying journalism, my professor always said that a good reporter has the power to change the world. I thought it was an exaggeration back then. But Ran Ran, this time, you might have pushed for a turnaround in Dongguo's situation. You're amazing. Media all over the world are praising you."

Song Ran showed no reaction. She remembered what Sasin had said: This land is a giant tree overgrown with tragedy. Every person who comes from afar can reach out and grab a handful, picking a few fruits.

She didn't even know how Sasin was doing now, or if he was still alive.

Her head felt heavy. After thinking for a long time, she asked, "...I'm back. The work at the front line is now..."

"Are you asking about Shen Bei?" Xiao Qiu snorted. "She came back to the country."

"Why?"

"I guess she got scared. She ran back right after being sent out. It must have been embarrassing. Now she's been transferred to the sixteenth floor." The sixteenth floor of the Liang City TV building was the variety and entertainment department, a leading entertainment brand not just for Liang City TV but for the entire country. "To think she could still go to the most coveted entertainment department after something like this. Having powerful connections really makes a difference."

The others were more reserved, just smiling without saying a word.

Xiao Qiu said, "But it wouldn't have been any use even if she'd stayed. There's no way she could have outshone you this time."

Xiao Dong tried to smooth things over, "Xiao Qiu, you're so blunt. We're all colleagues, don't be like that."

Xiao Qiu rolled her eyes. "What, are you going to go tattle?"

"You're getting carried away. Who would tattle? It's fine to just talk about it in private."

Song Ran didn't ask any more questions. A few days later, she was smoothly discharged from the hospital.

Ran Yuwei took care of her for a week or two, expressing her dissatisfaction with Song Zhicheng multiple times during that period. Song Ran acted as if she heard nothing. In late October, Ran Yuwei returned to Di City, and Song Ran also went back to work.

Perhaps because she had been bedridden for too long, her physical functions had declined. Song Ran found that her stamina was much worse than before; even her daily commute to and from work felt exhausting. Although she deliberately tried not to think about certain things, her mind was ultimately heavy with worries, and she often suffered from insomnia at night.

At work, she also made a few small mistakes due to a lack of concentration, but thankfully, her colleagues were understanding and looked out for her.

One day, Xiao Chun asked her, "Ran Ran, do you want to apply for a few more days off with the leadership?"

"What's wrong?"

"There was another typo in the draft you wrote. And, you don't seem to be in good spirits lately."

She opened the document to check for the typo and said, "The weather's been a bit cold lately, so I haven't been sleeping well."

"That's true," Xiao Dong chimed in. "It's freezing. This damp and cold weather in the south is killer. I must have been crazy to come work in a place with no heating."

Xiao Qiu said, "By the way, Ran Ran, while you were away, I was helping you handle all your files. Should I send them to you now?"

"Sure."

"You really missed a lot while you were in the hospital," Xiao Xia said with envy. "You didn't get to see what a huge storm your videos and photos kicked up in the world's media circles a while ago. The impact was even bigger than the CARRY incident last time."

Song Ran had just clicked on the compressed file Xiao Qiu sent when a photo popped up. It was the shot she had taken at the moment of the explosion—the suicide bomber, a smile on his face, was holding a bag of candy. Sixty or seventy children surrounded him, their little heads tilted up, eagerly waiting for the candy to be distributed. And from under the man's clothes, a wisp of green smoke was rising—it was the very moment before the bomb detonated.

The entire photograph looked warm and gentle, but behind it lay a bone-chilling coldness.

It was like a smiling angel wearing a mask, with the sneering Grim Reaper standing behind, scythe raised.

"The best part is the green smoke from the burning fuse. Capturing a photo like this is a god-given opportunity," Xiao Chun commented.

"This photo could be nominated for this year's World Press Photo award, or even a Pulitzer Prize."

Song Ran closed the photo with her mouse in a second.

There were many other photos and videos in the folder. She didn't dare to open them and closed the window in a hurry.

Xiao Xia said, "That one Shen Bei took... the subject matter was good, but she was probably in too much of a hurry. The composition was terrible."

It was a picture of dozens of children's bodies laid out in rows, with a military officer sitting beside them, weeping with his head in his hands.

Xiao Chun said, "Don't even mention it. Because the tragic state of several children wasn't censored, she was nearly flamed to death after that photo was published..."

Xiao Qiu shot Xiao Chun a look, and the latter immediately shut her mouth.

But Song Ran sensed that something was off. She quietly went online and searched for the photos she had taken. She found that the comments on the official social media account had been managed; they were all words of praise.

In the afternoon, Song Ran used a VPN to get on Twitter, wanting to contact Sasin and a few foreign reporter friends. But she discovered her inbox was flooded. She had received countless @mentions, comments, and retweets.

She scrolled casually. There were many words of praise, which she didn't want to see, but she unexpectedly saw an English @mention: "vulture!"

Song Ran's heart tightened.

Immediately after, she saw more similar comments, in Chinese, traditional characters, Cantonese, English...

"Don't you ever come back to China! Your mom is dead!"

"Heard this disgusting person was injured and went back to her country."

"Which hospital? I'll go send a funeral wreath."

"You achieve fame and success through the disasters and deaths of others. You make me want to vomit!"

"You live on blood and human flesh, you're a vulture! A vulture circling in the sky, waiting for its prey to die!"

There were also Spanish, French, Russian, Italian, German, Arabic... all kinds of languages...

She didn't know if it was out of self-torture or something else, but she actually opened Google and translated them one by one,

"My God, that man is obviously a terrorist. Why didn't the photographer warn the children!"

"The moment she saw the children running for candy, this reporter must have been desperately waiting for the bomb to explode in the next second! Devil! I curse her to hell!"

"When I think of that reporter excitedly and expectantly pressing the shutter at the moment of the explosion, I really wish she had been blown up too!"

"She was the one who took the picture of the dead child last time too!"

Song Ran sat in front of the computer, mechanically scrolling through the comments, copying, pasting, and translating. Countless remarks flowed into her eyes like water.

There were also many people speaking up for her, defending her, but it was as if she couldn't see any of them, just scrolling through mechanically like a robot.

She even forced herself to try and recall, almost to the point of hallucination—

The moment she looked out the window from inside the house, had she realized that man was a demon? Why didn't she warn those children, tell them to run away?! Why didn't she realize that man was a demon?!

Why?!

"Ran Ran!" Xiao Qiu's voice instantly woke her from the nightmare. She turned her head to look, her eyes filled with terror.

Xiao Qiu pressed her hand and smiled. "It's time to get off work. Let's go home."

Only then did Song Ran realize she was shaking all over. Her hands and feet were trembling uncontrollably, as if she were sitting in a world of ice and snow wearing only a T-shirt.

She forced a smile and said, "Has the temperature dropped? I feel a little cold."

"I have an extra scarf here, you can wear it for now. Hurry home, it'll get even colder if you wait any longer." Xiao Qiu took the mouse from her hand and turned off the computer.

At six in the evening, the sky began to darken.

Song Ran wrapped Xiao Qiu's scarf around herself and stood in the biting autumn wind waiting for the bus. Her eyes had been a bit sore these past few days, and driving would be tiring.

In mid-to-late October, the autumn chill was deep. Song Ran wore a thin sweater and a woolen coat, but no thermal leggings, and she could feel the cold from the soles of her feet.

The people waiting for the bus were all huddled in the cold wind, their faces expressionless.

She stood in place for a long time, lost in thought. When she came to her senses, she realized the streetlights were all on. The bus's route display flickered with a red light in the dark. It seemed to be her bus. She took a few steps forward, then stopped, her vision blurring as she mistook a 5 for a 6.

She stepped back onto the curb, her gaze sweeping across the bus windows, when she suddenly froze.

She suddenly saw Li Zan, sitting by the window, his eyes looking forward, seemingly lost in thought.

The light was dim, and she couldn't see clearly. She subconsciously reached a hand forward and called out, "Ah Zan!"

In late autumn, the bus windows were shut tight. He didn't turn around. The bus had already started moving.

She was stunned for two seconds, then hurried forward. "Officer Li!"

But he still didn't turn around. The bus drove away.

Song Ran stood in the cold wind, watching the departing bus, her heart feeling as if a piece had been brutally torn out.

He must not have heard her shout.

She dazedly got on her own bus. As she sat down, she could hear people talking outside. It turned out you could hear sounds from outside through the glass.

So, she must have seen wrong.

He must still be in Dongguo. He hasn't come back yet.

When Song Ran got home, she was utterly dejected and completely exhausted. She hadn't done anything, yet she was so tired she could barely stand straight. Forcing herself to eat something, she made a bowl of instant noodles.

Outside, the autumn wind rustled, causing the leaves of the trees in the courtyard to fall. As she stuffed noodles into her mouth, tears, one by one, fell into the bowl without her realizing.

She remembered the doctor saying her eyes were recovering and she shouldn't cry, so she quickly tilted her head back and wiped the tears away.