What Lies Within

安知我意

what-lies-within

Chapter 32

The SUV pulled over to the side of the road. Shen Duoyi's heart was still racing from the sudden brake, and even after a while, he couldn't calm down. He gazed at the twinkling lights on the distant pier, trying to determine if they were from docked yachts or just his imagination.


 Qi Shi'an had said it wasn't the car that gave him security, but the person.


 Shen Duoyi lowered his head troubled, then turned sideways and rested his folded arms on the car window, his back toward the other. He stared intently at those lights, hoping they would illuminate the thoughts deep in his heart.


 He had crouched at the table drinking glass after glass.


 Qi Shi'an had come over and picked him up.


 He had been doubled over with stomach pain outside the nightclub.


 Qi Shi'an had supported him, asking what was wrong.


 He had been dizzy drunk, falling asleep on Qi Shi'an's broad shoulder.


 ...


 Suddenly feeling warmth on the back of his head, Shen Duoyi's eyes flew open, snapping back to the present. He remained frozen in place, feeling Qi Shi'an gently stroking his hair.


 Qi Shi'an slipped his fingers through the soft strands, then lightly scratched Shen Duoyi's scalp with his short, neat nails, saying in resignation: "I went crazy just now, don't take what I said to heart."


 Shen Duoyi murmured: "But I've already remembered it."


 Qi Shi'an desperately wanted to move his hand down to grip that slender nape, to force Shen Duoyi to turn and face him, to make him understand and remember forcefully that all his sense of security came from him alone.


 But Shen Duoyi wasn't a child – he was a thoughtful adult, so he couldn't rush. He wanted the other to understand on his own. Qi Shi'an released his hand and gripped the steering wheel again: "Sit properly, we're continuing on."


 The paused fifteen minutes passed, Qi Shi'an drove wordlessly, Shen Duoyi silently watched the road ahead. They drove around the area, went to look at the yachts at the pier.


 They didn't talk even until returning to the hotel, but finally stopped at their respective room doors. With two beeps, Qi Shi'an opened his door, turning slightly to say: "Tomorrow morning's first meeting, wear formal attire. If things go well, follow-up meeting the day after."


 Shen Duoyi turned and replied: "Alright, so we have a day and a half to make adjustments."


 "Mm." Qi Shi'an pushed open the door. "Get some sleep, good night."


 Shen Duoyi gripped his doorknob: "Um, I didn't bring a tie."


 Qi Shi'an said: "Go in your room first, I'll find one for you in a bit."


 Shen Duoyi returned to his room. He had worked up a sweat and wanted to shower, but not knowing when the other would come over, he sat waiting on the bed. Actually, he did have a tie, one issued by the insurance company before, but he wasn't looking down on it – he just couldn't help making conversation earlier.


 Ten minutes later came a knock, and Qi Shi'an arrived with four ties. Seeing the other's neutral expression, Shen Duoyi joked: "All of these for me?"


 "You wish." Qi Shi'an dangled the bunch. "Pick one."


 Shen Duoyi casually pulled one out and tried putting it on. His shirt was rather casual, making the tie look out of place. After fumbling with it a few times and taking it off, he said somewhat embarrassedly: "A bow tie would be simpler, just clip it on."


 Qi Shi'an brushed away his hands, stepped closer and took hold of both ends of the tie, lowering his head to tie it while gently scolding: "How can you be so hopeless?"


 Gently making the knot, slowly pulling it through, adjusting the tightness before pushing it up to the neck, Qi Shi'an didn't explain verbally but slowed his movements to let Shen Duoyi learn. With one hand holding the tie and the other pushing the knot to Shen Duoyi's Adam's apple, he suddenly tightened it.


 Shen Duoyi made a sound: "Are you trying to strangle me?"


 Qi Shi'an looked down at him: "When you had your back turned to me, I really wanted to strangle you."


 There was no real malice in those eyes, only a hint of performative intimidation. Shen Duoyi looked up at him, finally speaking openly: "Were you angry?"


 "No." Qi Shi'an loosened the tie, casually touching Shen Duoyi's Adam's apple. "I'm eroding you. Whether you respond or not doesn't matter, breaking down one brick, one tile counts as success."


 In truth, with every advance Qi Shi'an made, Shen Duoyi would react. Today's passive resistance – did it mean there were few bricks left? As he guarded the last wall, swaying on the verge of collapse, was he about to raise the white flag in surrender?


 Shen Duoyi suddenly felt his heart flutter.


 Of course Qi Shi'an saw through him again, catalyzing: "I've been standing below the wall for so long. Don't be afraid to fall – I'll catch you with open arms."


 "In my embrace, you'll be safest."


 Shen Duoyi was drawn in by those dark pupils, almost feeling dizzy. The tie finally completely loosened. Qi Shi'an took it off without untying it, casually draping it over the nearby chaise lounge. Before leaving, he said: "Just put it on directly tomorrow morning. Now really, good night."


 Footsteps faded away, the door opened and closed. Shen Duoyi stepped back and collapsed onto the bed, then fell back completely. He stared at the complex round chandelier, feeling his mind and body faintly burning.


 Many lovers share a bed but dream different dreams. These two in different rooms dreamed in unison of the past.


 The next morning when Qi Shi'an and Shen Duoyi met again, they both acted as if nothing had happened. Supervisor Qin and Little Wang knew even less of what had transpired. The four finished breakfast and headed out, ready to start the morning's work.


 In the car, Qi Shi'an received a message from You Si saying the gallery had received some new pieces, and one was to be given to him. He replied he'd come look when free, and wished her a "pleasant journey."


 The morning's first meeting was very focused, mainly relying on Qi Shi'an and the two investment department staff for communication and practical operations, leaving Shen Duoyi rather free. He quietly took on an assistant's role, recording all procedures for later adjustments.


 Near noon, the partners invited them to lunch together. The entire meal was filled with business talk, no one really eating, all discussing work matters.


 "They have arrangements for this afternoon and tomorrow, we can rest and prepare." After getting in the car, Qi Shi'an checked his watch and turned to tell Supervisor Qin and Little Wang, "You have foreign exchange training starting at 3 PM, with special transport arranged for the evening. The Team Leader and I will prepare for the follow-up meeting the day after tomorrow. Let me know if you have any questions."


 After returning to the hotel, Qi Shi'an and Shen Duoyi stayed in the conference room. As consulting department team leader, Shen Duoyi was more skilled at cooperation and communication than Qi Shi'an. He consolidated data on the computer, occasionally asking the other a question or two.


 "Mr. Qi, what technical questions do you think they'll ask?" Shen Duoyi stared at the screen. "I mean the tricky ones, the kind that might stump me."


 The conference room was over seventy floors up, overlooking the entire Gold Coast beach and seascape. Qi Shi'an said disinterestedly: "How would I know? If you get stumped, I'll answer. Don't worry about it."


 Shen Duoyi immediately objected: "But wouldn't that make me look unprofessional? Can't we anticipate some questions? I want to prepare for all possible topics, so hopefully you won't need to handle them personally."


 Qi Shi'an said: "Sure, go ahead."


 Shen Duoyi finally revealed his aim: "Please list out all the questions you can think of, then I'll prepare."


 "..." Qi Shi'an realized he'd fallen for it, but didn't resist, directly reaching for the materials. "Come sit here, I'll list them one by one and you answer. For any you can't answer, note down my standard response."


 Shen Duoyi moved next to him, ready to begin.


 They sat close together, asking and answering amid piles of documents and data. The coffee on the table was drunk and refilled, several diagrams fell to the floor. Their faces reflected in the computer screen, occasionally sharing a smile, occasionally competing.


 With a snap, the folder was finally closed, and the screen went dark.


 "Finally finished. Getting me to do such tiring work, aren't you heartless?" Qi Shi'an reached for his cup, finding the coffee gone again. Shen Duoyi, perceptive as always, offered compensation: "Let's go to the café downstairs, my treat."


 Qi Shi'an gazed at the ocean: "Just that? Not enough."


 Shen Duoyi asked: "Then what do you want?"


 Ten minutes later, they were on the beach. Qi Shi'an had changed into swimming trunks and grabbed a surfboard, ready to conquer the ocean. Shen Duoyi sat cross-legged on the sand with a troubled expression, hesitating.


 "I can't surf, you go ahead."


 "I'll guide you, give it a try, it's really fun."


 "What if the waves kill me?" Shen Duoyi looked up at Qi Shi'an. "I'd rather drink a smoothie and sunbathe here, maybe watch some handsome guys and pretty girls. Don't force me."


 Qi Shi'an bent down and flicked Shen Duoyi's earlobe: "Handsome guys and pretty girls? Quite comprehensive in your viewing."


 The light blue seawater sparkled golden, and as Shen Duoyi looked at Qi Shi'an standing against the light, he felt dizzy again. He forced himself to look away, happening to see divers with oxygen tanks coming ashore on the other side.


 He said evasively: "Go surf, I prefer diving."


 "Oh, you like diving?" Qi Shi'an turned away smiling, leaving the surfboard behind. Shen Duoyi drank his smoothie and sunbathed, not knowing where the other had gone.


 Another ten minutes passed, and someone called him from behind.


 Shen Duoyi turned around to see Qi Shi'an already changed into a diving suit, carrying two oxygen tanks. He jumped up, brushing off sand, surprised and flustered: "You really want me to get in the water with you!"


 Qi Shi'an smiled mischievously, walking over to put down the tanks: "My diving certification is rescue level. You won't get killed by waves or drown, go change."


 Shen Duoyi had nothing more to say. He quickly finished his smoothie, grabbed the clothes and ran.


 After strapping on the oxygen tanks, they prepared to enter the water. Qi Shi'an pulled Shen Duoyi in front of him to help equalize ear pressure. He pinched Shen Duoyi's nose and commanded: "Tighten your cheeks."


 Shen Duoyi took a deep breath: "How do I tighten my cheeks?"


 "Pucker up hard." Qi Shi'an felt playful and raised his hand to press the other's chest. "Pressurize your thorax, do it quickly."


 Shen Duoyi's face reddened from holding his breath. He broke free saying: "If my ears hurt, I'm going back up."


 Finally in the water, they gradually disappeared beneath the glittering surface. Buoyancy made one feel weightless, but it also eliminated all distracting thoughts.


 Qi Shi'an guarded behind Shen Duoyi as they descended, his open arms ready to pull Shen Duoyi to him at any moment. The light blue water was filled with bursts of light like daytime fireworks, and they could even hear the sound of jet skis and laughter from the beach.


 Suddenly Shen Duoyi turned around in the water, saw him and turned back, as if making sure he was nearby. Qi Shi'an kicked his legs to catch up, grabbed Shen Duoyi's hand and sped downward together.


 They dove to nearly twenty meters deep. It was Shen Duoyi's first dive, and the pressure gradually became uncomfortable. He firmly gripped Qi Shi'an's arm, unable to speak, so he reached for Qi Shi'an's shoulder instead.


 Understanding, Qi Shi'an held Shen Duoyi and went up. Once the pressure decreased, they glided around underwater.


 When they surfaced, Shen Duoyi was exhausted, too weak to swim to shore. Qi Shi'an lifted him onto a jet ski, which then took them to a small reef cluster on the south side.


 Removing the oxygen gear, Shen Duoyi quickly found a corner among the reef rocks to sit. He breathed softly, working through the discomfort from being underwater.


 Qi Shi'an changed into shorts after coming ashore and bought two bottles of water before walking south. There were few people there, just scattered rescue personnel. As he neared the end, he finally heard a faint call.


 Turning back, he saw Shen Duoyi leaning against a large rock, surrounded by reefs of varying heights. Water still dripped from his hair tips, and his already fair face was even more pallid from the seawater. Qi Shi'an walked over and sat in front of Shen Duoyi, then opened a water bottle and handed it over: "Drink slowly, tell me if anything feels wrong."


 Shen Duoyi took small sips: "I'm fine, I rested a bit and feel much better."


 The waves crashed against the rocks one after another. Hidden here resting, they felt particularly peaceful. Qi Shi'an raised his palm, covering Shen Duoyi's whole face, then wiped from forehead to chin, removing the water from his face. He asked: "Are you cursing me in your mind for making you dive?"


 Shen Duoyi screwed the cap back on, saying weakly: "I brought this on myself. But except for the pressure issue, being underwater felt amazing."


 "It gets better with practice. Give me your legs, I'll massage them." Qi Shi'an held Shen Duoyi's calves, kneading skillfully. When done, he moved closer and couldn't resist pinching Shen Duoyi's nose tip. Like arranging a beloved doll, he played around in various ways.


 Shen Duoyi didn't even have energy to dodge, so he simply let it be. Later when his nape was gripped, he realized Qi Shi'an was right in front of him. He looked away, licked his lips, and said softly: "So salty."


 Qi Shi'an took two mint tablets from his pocket, unwrapped them and put both in his own mouth.


 Shen Duoyi asked: "Are there any more? I'd like one too."


 —Crash!


 The wave's sound drowned out his last words. The reef had become small amid the huge spray, unable to shield anything anymore. "—Crash! —Crash!" Just as the cold heavy waves were about to crash down on their heads, it was too late to get up and run.


 "Lower your head!"


 Qi Shi'an suddenly dropped to his knees on the rock, spreading his arms to shelter Shen Duoyi beneath him. Immediately after, white spray surged over the reef and slammed down, all landing on his shoulders and back.


 Shen Duoyi, already curled up from fatigue, mind blank, tightly gripped Qi Shi'an's shoulders.


 As the wind and waves gradually calmed, Qi Shi'an gently stroked his back: "It's okay now, everything's fine."


 Shen Duoyi slowly released his grip, looking up at Qi Shi'an to ask: "Did that hurt just now?"


 "No." Qi Shi'an answered, "What about you, were you scared just now?"


 Shen Duoyi shook his head.


 Qi Shi’an asked again, “When you went diving for the first time just now, were you scared?”


 Shen Duoyi shook his head again, his voice trembling slightly. “You were there.”


 Blood trickled from his knee, but Qi Shi’an paid it no mind. He cradled Shen Duoyi’s head, his fingers gently combing through the wet strands of hair. He leaned closer, their foreheads touching, his voice soft and coaxing. “Why weren’t you scared because I was there?”


 People always seek the things they lack the most. And once found, they cling to them desperately.


 The last wall finally crumbled. Shen Duoyi raised his arms and wrapped them around Qi Shi’an, answering, “Because you’re my sense of security.”


 Warm lips brushed against a cold cheek. Shen Duoyi closed his eyes, tightening his embrace. Qi Shi’an’s kiss was light, like a dragonfly skimming water. He whispered, “Didn’t you want a mint?”


 Before Shen Duoyi could react, Qi Shi’an dipped his head and captured his lips.


 This kiss wasn’t light. Qi Shi’an sucked on Shen Duoyi’s soft lips, teasingly biting the lower one, before slipping his tongue inside to explore. Shen Duoyi’s breath hitched, a whimper escaping as their tongues entwined. The half-melted mint passed from Qi Shi’an’s mouth to his.


 “Mmm... stop!”


 Qi Shi’an finally let go, his eyes swirling with emotions, but tenderness shone brightest. Shen Duoyi panted lightly, his pale face now flushed crimson.


 His heart pounded as he gazed at Qi Shi’an, the salty taste fading, replaced by minty sweetness.


 Qi Shi’an took Shen Duoyi’s hand and pressed it to his face. “Sweetheart, your first love has arrived. Sign for your boyfriend.”

What Lies Within

What Lies Within

Chapter 39 - Chapter 32

Leafy