Miao Jiayan's birth was an accident.

His mother had just graduated and was doing an internship at a school, with no intention of having a child so early. When she first found out she was pregnant, she had no intention of keeping the baby at all.

Although Miao Jian wanted to keep it, there was nothing he could do if his wife didn't want to give birth.

Miao Jiayan almost didn't get the chance to come into this world.

That "almost" was because when she was having an ultrasound at the hospital, the young female doctor casually remarked, "It looks like a girl."

She was less than sixty days pregnant at the time, and the embryo hadn't even fully formed yet, so it was a mystery how the doctor could tell.

Miao Jiayan's mother hesitated for a moment. Just before pulling open the curtain to leave, she turned back and asked, "...It's a girl?"

"Looks like it," the female doctor said.

A girl would be so nice; girls are always close to their mothers. In that era, many families still preferred boys. The concept of carrying on the family line had been passed down since ancient times, and everyone wanted to have a son. But their family was different. Because of that one sentence, "It looks like a girl," Miao Jiayan's mother ultimately decided to keep him.

It seemed fated. When she was seven months pregnant, she went to a clinic for a check-up. The doctor examining her was retired from the hospital. Pointing at the screen, she said with certainty, "Look, it's a little daughter."

The hardships of pregnancy hadn't made Miao Jiayan's mother gain any weight; in fact, she had lost quite a bit. At that moment, she caressed her belly, feeling the little one turning inside.

She smiled gently and said, "A little daughter is good."

So when the nurse in the delivery room told her, "It's a boy, six jin and four liang," Miao Jiayan's mother said in shock, "That's impossible..."

The nurse smilingly brought over the purplish-red baby. The wrinkly, ugly little thing hadn't opened its eyes yet, its mouth was tiny, and it was crying with all its might, "Ah, ah"—it was indeed a boy.

The little clothes and toys had all been prepared in girls' styles, and even the name chosen was a girl's name. But the baby born was a boy, which threw everything into disarray.

Miao Jiayan's great-grandmother was still alive then, and she was overjoyed, holding the little one and doting on him endlessly. She comforted Miao Jiayan's mother, "Aiya, you mustn't cry! Crying during the postpartum month will ruin your eyes later! If you want a girl so badly, just raise him as a girl. It's all the same!"

Grandpa Miao suggested changing the name then, saying "Miao Jiayan" with a different character would look more like a boy's name. Grandma Miao said, "The original 'Jiayan' is also good. It looks and sounds nice. Any name is fine."

In the end, "Miao Jiayan" was the name registered on the household record. His mother really took his great-grandmother's words to heart. She let his hair grow long, tied it into little braids, had him wear colorful, pretty little hair clips every day, and even called him "my girl" with every other word.

Miao Jiayan was very delicate-looking. His eyes weren't very big, with subtle double eyelids, and he resembled his mother. His skin was very fair, and with his hair in two pigtails and wearing a pretty little dress, he was the spitting image of a cute little girl.

Miao Jiayan's mother stayed home to raise him for two and a half years before returning to work in the city. At first, Miao Jiayan was very attached to his mother and would cry every time she left. At that time, it wasn't common for children in the countryside to go to kindergarten, so Miao Jiayan grew up like this until he was over five years old.

It was time for him to start preschool, so Miao Jian had his grandma take him to get a haircut, saying he couldn't go on like this anymore.

Miao Jiayan's mother was reluctant at the time but didn't say anything.

Unexpectedly, the usually obedient Miao Jiayan refused to get his hair cut no matter what. He clutched his little braids with both hands and cried so hard he could barely breathe. He had never cried like that before. Grandma Miao didn't have the heart to force him and took him back home.

At first, the adults just thought he was unwilling to cut his hair. But when they truly realized the child was a bit "abnormal," Miao Jian tried all sorts of methods, both soft and hard. He even took him to the children's hospital in the city for a check-up, but in the end, he couldn't "fix" this "problem" of his.

No one in the Miao Family ever complained about anything in front of Miao Jiayan's mother, but for some unknown reason, she gradually grew more and more distant from the child.

On this day, Miao Jiayan had first been frightened on the road, then he got a beating from his dad when he got home. After all this turmoil, he seemed drained of energy, looking dazed.

Before bed, Chen Chao brought up the matter of his hair. He had originally wanted to persuade him to just cut it, but after what Miao Jiayan said, Chen Chao didn't want to say anything anymore.

Later, Chen Chao just said, "If you don't want to cut it, then don't. Just keep it."

After shedding a few tears, Miao Jiayan didn't cry anymore. He tried to stick close to the wall so he wouldn't crowd Chen Chao.

In the middle of the night, he kept having nightmares, waking with a start. Chen Chao was woken up by him several times. Later, half-asleep, Chen Chao turned over and his leg ended up on top of Miao Jiayan's. It's not clear if this made the sleeping Miao Jiayan feel safe to some extent, but in any case, he wasn't startled awake for the rest of the night.

Miao Jiayan slept at Chen Chao's place for several days, only leaving when Chen Chao's dad and youngest uncle were about to return.

During these few days, Miao Jiayan was particularly clingy with Chen Chao. They did everything together, with Miao Jiayan always following quietly by Chen Chao's side.

This New Year didn't go very well. The atmosphere in the Miao Family was constantly heavy. Grandma Miao never cracked a smile, and Miao Jian and his wife barely spoke, leaving on the afternoon of the first day of the new year.

Eldest Aunt and Youngest Aunt didn't stay much longer either and left the next day.

With everyone in the family gone, Miao Jiayan should have felt relaxed and happy as usual, but he didn't seem very happy.

He would often slump over his little desk, his face pillowed on his arms, staring blankly at a single spot, lost in thought.

Chen Guangda had originally said he would be back for the New Year, but he changed his mind at the last minute, saying it was too much of a hassle and he couldn't get a ticket.

Chen Chao asked him where he was spending the New Year, and Chen Guangda said at a friend's house.

On New Year's Eve, Chen Guangda had been drinking and called home. Grandpa Chen and Grandma Chen were watching TV and had no time for a drunkard. Only his youngest uncle chatted with him for a bit before passing the phone to Chen Chao.

Chen Guangda slurred drunkenly over the phone, "Son, back when I left you at your grandma's, Dad was thinking, when can I finally bring my son back home with me. Dad's telling you... Dad's already bought a house, right next to the affiliated high school. You just focus on your exams... even if you don't pass, we'll pay our way into the affiliated high school!"

"How much did you drink?" Chen Chao asked him helplessly. "You can't even speak properly."

"Didn't drink much, this is nothing!" Chen Guangda continued, "These past two years, Dad's been scared, scared that I wouldn't be able to get back on my feet... I'm sorry, my son."

Chen Chao hated these kinds of sappy words the most, especially since his dad got even clingier when he drank. Chen Chao said, "Alright, alright, that's enough."

Chen Guangda rambled on for a while longer before hanging up. Chen Chao stayed with his grandparents, watching the Spring Festival Gala until the closing song "Unforgettable Tonight."

This was the third New Year Chen Chao had spent at his grandmother's house. He only had one last semester of middle school left.

Compared to when he first arrived, Chen Chao wasn't as uncomfortable living here anymore. The second floor of this small building was piled with all his things. Here, he had made friends, and he also had Miao Jiayan.

Miao Jiayan's only dress could no longer be worn; it was simply too old.

In the spring, as the weather gradually warmed up, he secretly tried it on in his room. A mirror on the wardrobe door reflected the boy's gradually lengthening figure. The Miao Jiayan in the mirror had soft hair falling around his shoulders, his eyes still innocent and bright, but the dress no longer looked good.

During this semester, Ding Wentao's one-sided love for Sha Sha came to a fruitless end. Sha Sha had clearly rejected him.

The tall and sturdy young Ding Wentao fell into the painful throes of a broken heart, sighing all day long.

Chen Chao's room now often held three people: one sitting at the desk doing homework, one perched at the corner of the desk doing homework, and one not doing any homework.

Ding Wentao heaved a heavy sigh and leaned against the wall, continuing his melancholy.

Chen Chao and Miao Jiayan exchanged a glance. Chen Chao smiled a little, but Miao Jiayan didn't dare to. Ding Wentao looked at the two of them and said, "No sympathy."

Miao Jiayan had been working on a worksheet for half an hour, but he was having trouble concentrating. Chen Chao glanced at it; it was a poorly made copy torn directly from a workbook. Chen Chao said, "If you don't want to do it, then don't."

"It's due tomorrow," Miao Jiayan refocused and continued with the problems. "How can I not do my homework?"

"Copy the answers." Chen Chao pointed to the header at the top of the worksheet that had been copied along with it. "Don't you have this book?"

Chen Chao always just copied the answers for homework he didn't want to do, not wasting any time. But Miao Jiayan had never done that; the concept of copying answers didn't even exist in his mind. He looked at Chen Chao and shook his head, not daring to.

"So stubborn." After saying that, Chen Chao ignored him.

Ding Wentao had been watching them the whole time. After they finished talking, he suddenly blurted out, "Brother Chao, you don't think I'm gay, do you?"

"Pfft—" Miao Jiayan was drinking water at that moment, holding a large cup to his face. When Ding Wentao's words came out, Miao Jiayan choked right then and there. He pulled the cup away, coughing his lungs out.

The water had gone down the wrong pipe, making it hard to breathe.

Miao Jiayan had sprayed water all over Chen Chao, and it was on the worksheet next to him too. Chen Chao first wiped his hands disdainfully on Miao Jiayan's clothes before turning back to ask Ding Wentao, "Is there something wrong with you?"

"Why is it that when I see you two talking here, I feel uncomfortable inside?" Ding Wentao said, leaning against the wall with a wooden expression. "I'm jealous."

"You took the wrong medicine," Chen Chao said.

Miao Jiayan coughed until tears came out of his eyes. Chen Chao looked at the water on the worksheet, suddenly not wanting to touch it. He stood up, opened the window, and waited for it to air-dry.

Miao Jiayan tried to wipe it with his sleeve, but Chen Chao said, "Don't wipe it, let it dry."

Ding Wentao stayed for a little while longer and then left. It seemed Miao Jiayan had hurt his throat from that coughing fit; it felt uncomfortable, and he would let out a cough or two from time to time.

While doing his problems, Chen Chao suddenly asked, "Why did you react so strongly?"

Miao Jiayan blinked his eyes. "Huh?"

"Huh what?" Chen Chao's hand didn't stop calculating as he spoke to him.

Chen Chao had originally thought that Miao Jiayan had a complex about the word "gay" and would get tense as a conditioned reflex upon hearing it.

Miao Jiayan didn't make a sound, sitting ramrod straight beside him.

Chen Chao's gaze moved from his scratch paper and glanced at Miao Jiayan.

"I've never asked you," Chen Chao continued doing his problems, changing the subject. "Is there anyone you like?"

Miao Jiayan was already sitting up straight, but now his back tensed up subconsciously. He stammered and couldn't get any words out.

Neither Chen Chao nor Miao Jiayan was like Ding Wentao, who talked about this kind of stuff all day. The two of them never brought it up. Miao Jiayan wasn't used to the topic and felt embarrassed. He was already very introverted and not good at expressing himself; Chen Chao's one question made his face turn beet red.

"Why are you blushing? I asked you, so just answer," Chen Chao said, seeing that he remained silent.

"I don't... I don't have anyone..." Miao Jiayan had to answer.

Chen Chao raised his hand and tapped the top of Miao Jiayan's head with the end of his pen, saying, "Why so nervous."