Tribulations Part 2

But then he heard: "I looked for you."

He heard Ye Jiuya continue, "I went to a few places, couldn't find you. I thought you probably went to the demon realm with Xing Qiu, and that you would live well with him there, so I didn't keep searching."

Chen Weichen didn't know what to say. Ye Jiuya unusually didn't wait for his response and continued, "You didn't have a reason when you came, so naturally there's no need to explain when you left. It was my rudeness to ask you like that just now."

He paused again, still in a cold and desolate voice, "Farewell."

Chen Weichen took a few light breaths, listening to the person finish these words and turn to leave.

After the person had walked far away, he finally got up and hurried to the door to look at his retreating figure.

The drifting and distant white would disappear after turning a corner.

His heart felt very sour and bitter, but also a sense of pleasure, feeling that he had cut off a piece of something with his own hands. After this glance today, he would be free and clean.

But the further he watched that retreating figure go, the more tangled and uncomfortable his heart became.

He thought, Ye Jiuya, don't look back. If you look back, it will be the time of my eternal damnation.

Thinking this, he still couldn't help but look, hoping he would turn his head.

-- In the end, he was still eternally damned.

When that person was about to turn a corner, he seemed to sense something and looked back, as if wanting to take another look.

That gaze was not the usual indifference, but carried a hint of faint perplexity.

-- With this look back, he saw Chen Weichen at the edge of the main hall's door, also looking towards him.

The face he hadn't seen for many days seemed to have thinned a lot.

He thought, well, the mountain temple can't compare to the mortal world. For someone like him who is used to having people wait on him for everything, with exquisite clothing, food, housing and transportation, to run here and spend two months, who knows how much hardship he suffered.

In that moment when their eyes met, his mind became empty and vast. No matter what, he couldn't take the steps to continue walking away.

"Come back," he heard Chen Weichen say to him, his voice hoarse as if he had been wronged, "Come back."

At this point, they were already far apart, and he couldn't see his eyes clearly.

Perhaps he was crying, Ye Jiuya thought.

Only after getting closer did he see that although those eyes were slightly red, there were no tears in them.

When he walked up to him, he was suddenly tightly embraced.

"It was my fault, I shouldn't have gotten angry with you. What I said just now was false," he said in a rush. "Lord Ye, it's my fault, I admit my mistake, don't be angry."

Ye Jiuya slowly hugged him back and patted his shoulders, "I'm not angry."

"You're clearly angry. When you said farewell just now, you don't usually talk like that. I heard it and felt so much pain." Chen Weichen's body trembled slightly, his heart filled with a restlessness that had nowhere to go, struggling desperately, wanting to grasp onto something.

What was it—something was missing, he thought desperately, and he finally remembered: at a time like this, a person would shed tears.

But he blinked hard a few times, and his eyes remained dry, with no such warm thing flowing out. Only the pain in his heart was real and tangible.

"I..." Chen Weichen paused for a long time, still not knowing what to say, and only asked, "Why did you come to Zhichen Temple?"

Ye Jiuya's fingers touched his hair, gently stroking it, "I came with Lord Lanshan, there are matters to discuss."

His fingertips passed through the strands, bringing out a snow-white color.

"Why did you come to the rear hall?"

"The villagers at the foot of the mountain were at the market, and they heard someone say that a young outsider had come to Zhichen Temple, who smiled slightly when talking to people. I thought it must be you."

It turned out that half of his hair had already turned white.

Chen Weichen let go of him, his eyelashes drooping, as if he didn't dare to face him directly.

"What about you?"

"Huh?" Chen Weichen didn't understand what he meant for a moment.

"After rejecting me, why did you come to Zhichen Temple?"

"I really didn't want you anymore, and I couldn't have you at that time either." Chen Weichen said glumly, "You don't know how miserable I was at that time. I was scared."

"Also, you know that when I was in the capital, I often couldn't wake up."

"Mm."

"After the Peach Blossom Banquet, for some reason, I couldn't suppress my heart demons. It took me more than ten years to hide them well, to the point where I could see you without you noticing. I had to try my best to suppress them, but you were always by my side. Your sword intent specifically breaks heart demons, and even if you don't draw your sword, it's still there. So I was constantly injured by the sword intent, which is why I often couldn't wake up."

Ye Jiuya listened quietly.

"Later, taking those things back nearly exhausted my cultivation. If I continued to follow you, I would never wake up again. Only Zhichen Temple in the immortal path could accommodate me, so I came to find Master Kong Shan to cultivate Buddhism."

"You should have told me."

Chen Weichen shook his head, "I couldn't say it, at least not at that time. I didn't know how to face you. What did you want me to say? That I was his heart demon, or that he had walked alone on the great path for many years, without a teacher, an enemy, or a friend, and when he first met you, he had a little fondness for you, so I came into being?"

"Look at me," Ye Jiuya said.

Chen Weichen raised his head, "Mm."

"Since you and he come from the same source, there's no need to distinguish so clearly."

"You still don't know," Chen Weichen shook his head, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "You don't know why I'm alive, or you wouldn't say that."