Coming Out in One Chapter Part 1

Ji Shenyu was already scared out of his wits, standing there with a spine as stiff as a board, facing everyone's gazes. He was about to stare a hole through the carpet. What else could he do? Did he still have the face to lift his head? His master, his master's wife, his aunt, his senior and junior brothers—facing any one of them was enough to make him crumble completely.

Those ten-odd seconds felt truly endless; even a standoff between two armies wouldn't be this difficult. Ding Yanshou's chest heaved, his hands clenched into iron fists, and his resolute face flushed a deep, dark red. "You," his ragged breaths nearly drowned out his voice, "what are the two of you doing?!"

Ding Hanbai said, "Being intimate."

That single answer was tantamount to gouging out the flesh of his parents' hearts, leaving a bloody wound that might not heal even in three or five years. His gaze was fixed, and when he looked at Jiang Shuliu, a sudden sorrow filled his eyes. He called out, "Mom," a word imbued with a long-prepared guilt.

Jiang Shuliu couldn't stand steadily and collapsed, caught by Jiang Caiwei and Jiang Ting'en. Who wasn't horrified? Who wasn't stunned? The elders and brothers in the room looked as if their eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.

Ding Hanbai and Ji Shenyu were hauled to the large living room. Behind the closed door, the atmosphere was so heavy it was hard to breathe. It was the first time Ding Keyu had seen such an expression on Ding Yanshou's face, and he was so frightened he ran out to put away the pole and wooden ladder.

A bell jingled. Ding Erhe had returned for lunch, calling out, "Eldest Uncle, I bought some braised goose—"

Ding Keyu darted over and covered his mouth. "Stop shouting! How could Eldest Uncle be in the mood to eat!" He quickly summarized the cause and the events, building up to the main point, his face flushed with embarrassment. "We went to the small courtyard to see Ji Shenyu, and as soon as we pushed the door open, Big Brother was holding him, holding him!"

Ding Erhe asked, "What on earth are you trying to say?"

Ding Keyu, terrified, was on the verge of crying in frustration. "Kissing! Big Brother was kissing Ji Shenyu, mouth-to-mouth kissing!"

The braised goose tumbled to the ground, and Ding Erhe nearly dropped his bicycle. He was overcome with astonishment, and then suddenly, he understood. No wonder. All those things in Chifeng now made sense. He rushed to the door, just in time to hear a loud slap.

With the strength from half a lifetime of carving, his hands layered with hard calluses, Ding Yanshou had used every ounce of his strength in that slap. His own son's head was knocked to the side, his cheek immediately swelling up red, streaked with blood vessels that surfaced instantly.

As the second slap was raised, Ji Shenyu rushed forward, unafraid of death or pain, to block it.

Ding Yanshou, his hand raised, roared, "Get out of the way!"

The usually quiet and introverted Ji Shenyu did not retreat. His face was a mixture of guilt and fear, yet he stood resolutely in front of Ding Hanbai. He pleaded bitterly, "Master, Madam, I'm the one who has been ungrateful. Hit me, just hit me!"

Ding Hanbai's heart jolted. He knew Ji Shenyu had his own mind, but he was only seventeen, after all. How could he have imagined such a scene? Stepping forward to shield him, he grabbed Ding Yanshou's weakness, saying, "Dad, you promised me that no matter the situation, you would only come after me and not hold it against him. Besides, Shenyu is Master Ji's child, you can't hit him—"

Before he could finish, another slap landed on his swollen cheek!

The loud smack of flesh on flesh was crisp and fiery. Blood seeped from his mouth and nose. "Dad, Mom, I'll tell you the truth." His ears were ringing as if swarmed by frantic hornets. He swallowed a mouthful of warm blood and felt dizzy. "If I'm not willing, who can force me? If I like someone, I'm the one who can drive them to their death."

Ji Shenyu's eyes shot up. Hearing that Ding Hanbai was about to take all the blame, he said urgently, "No! It wasn't Senior Brother who forced me! I... I!" In front of the entire family, he was mortified to the extreme. "I was the one who lured him! I like him!"

He shouted it out, shouting out every secret in his heart. The whole room must have heard it. Would Ji Fangxu hear it? Would his mother hear it? Then let them all hear it! He liked Ding Hanbai. He used to be terrified of being found out, but since they had been caught, he wouldn't be a coward who hides in his shell.

The persuasion, the punishment, everything came to an abrupt end with Jiang Shuliu's fainting. Chaos erupted. Ding Yanshou rushed forward, scooped up his wife in his arms, and carried her back to the bedroom. Ding Hanbai and Ji Shenyu tried to approach the bed, but the former was dragged into the study, and the latter was left in the hallway.

The door and windows were locked. Ding Yanshou put Ding Hanbai under house arrest inside. If this were the old society, he would have strangled this rebellious son to death!

Ji Shenyu stood by a pillar in the corridor, watching as Ding Yanshou returned to the bedroom. Every time the old couple felt unwell, he was the one who took care of them, but now he didn't even have the right to enter the room. After three or five minutes, Jiang Ting'en came out. The moment he saw him, he jerked his head away, then peeked back, looking extremely awkward.

"Are you insane?!" Jiang Ting'en shouted.

He didn't react. Insane, foolish, an ungrateful wretch—he would admit to being anything, even a queer. Pacing to the outside of the study, he peeked through the crack in the door and saw Ding Hanbai sitting calmly on the sofa, his brows knitted, deep in thought.

Ji Shenyu withdrew his gaze and couldn't help but look up at the swallow's nest on the beam.

The swallows here, the magpies in the small courtyard—why was it harder than scaling the heavens for them to be a pair of birds flying wing to wing?

When Jiang Caiwei came out, she saw Ji Shenyu standing there in a panic, just as he had when he first arrived. She went over and asked in a hushed voice, "You've angered the elders to this state, what on earth are you fooling around with? Auntie will help you beg for forgiveness. Just admit your mistake and correct that bad habit, alright?"

Ji Shenyu opened his mouth. A bad habit... He admitted it was a bad habit, but he couldn't change it.

Jiang Ting'en punched him on the shoulder. "What do you want to do then? What can you two men even do?!" He sounded as if he'd heard a tale from the Arabian Nights. "Auntie is sick with anger, do you have a conscience? If it weren't for Auntie and Uncle, you'd still be in Yangzhou with nothing to eat!"

The person in the study heard everything clearly. He kicked the door hard, making a loud bang. Jiang Ting'en fell silent in shock, glaring at Ji Shenyu with a mix of grievance and anger. Jiang Caiwei simply pulled Ji Shenyu further away. With a sob in her voice, she said, "Tell Auntie, you two were just confused and playing around for a moment, right?"

Ji Shenyu couldn't lift his head, but he shook it firmly.

Jiang Caiwei asked again, "Perhaps... Hanbai forced you? We'll stand up for you now. Go and break it off with him, alright?"

Ji Shenyu still shook his head. He couldn't bear to say words that would pierce her heart, but he also couldn't compromise against his own conscience. Jiang Caiwei began to sob, trembling like a slender willow in the wind. He walked away, went to the bedroom door, and glanced inside. He saw Ding Yanshou sitting by the bed, helping Jiang Shuliu drink water. This loving couple was utterly exhausted, body and soul, because of them.

He was sent back to the small courtyard, where he sat withered on the porch, awaiting the verdict.

If they were forced to separate, what would they do?

If he was disowned as a disciple, what would he do then?

The main gate of the Ding Family home was shut tight, seemingly to prevent this "family scandal" from getting out and shaming eighteen generations of ancestors. Ding Hanbai was locked in the study, listening to the movements next door, and later, to the sound of Jiang Shuliu's weeping as she beat her chest and stomped her feet. He tossed and turned, wearing out the entire sofa.

They remained like this, the whole family going without food for the entire day.

The sun sank behind the western mountains, and the Front Courtyard fell silent.

In the middle of the night, a black shadow leaped onto the windowsill—it was the stray cat. Then, a figure appeared outside the door, like a wisp of smoke, without a sound. Ji Shenyu had waited until this moment to sneak over. He pressed himself against the crack of the door, peered inside, and called out in a whisper, "Senior Brother."

Ding Hanbai turned on the light and came to the door to reply, "Shh, the old folks are surely too worried to be asleep." Just as he finished speaking, a slip of paper was pushed through the crack. It read—Does your face hurt? Is it still bleeding?

They communicated with paper notes, not making a single sound. Questions, concerns, pleas for help—they exchanged so many lines back and forth. Finally, Ding Hanbai wrote: You don't regret this, do you?

The note felt like it was covered in tiny thorns, pricking Ji Shenyu's heart. He took out a pre-written note from his pocket, folded it, and paused as he was halfway through pushing it in. After much consideration, he hastily pulled it back. Ding Hanbai asked, "What is it? Give it to me!"

Ji Shenyu clutched the paper. He neither gave it to him nor answered.

Ding Hanbai grew anxious. "Ji Shenyu! Are you scared? Do you regret it?!" The shadow outside the door suddenly faded. It left without a word. Was it a tacit admission or an escape?

Ji Shenyu walked away, step by step. He thought, 'What if Ding Hanbai changes his mind? What if Ding Hanbai wants to return to being a filial son to a loving father?' Then, after some reconciliation, their affair would just drift away with the wind... So he couldn't make a promise now, nor would he cling to him then. Ding Hanbai had given him a moon, so he would just treat it as a beautiful illusion, a flower in the mirror, moon on the water.

They remained at a standstill for three days.

During these three days, Ding Hanbai didn't have a sip of water or a grain of rice. His eyes were dry and his lips were cracked. Lying on the sofa, he never once admitted his fault or yielded. On the morning of the fourth day, Ji Shenyu couldn't bear it any longer. He knelt directly outside the bedroom, begging Ding Yanshou to calm his anger. Ding Yanshou shooed him away, but he lowered his head without a word, looking as if he would kneel until the end of time.

Ding Yanshou cursed, "Isn't it enough that you've done such a shameless thing? Now you want to threaten me?!"

Ji Shenyu wouldn't dare. He wanted to go in, to trade places with Ding Hanbai.

Ding Yanshou asked, "Will you learn to be better? He's a stubborn hide that can't be pried open or hammered down, but what about you? How long will you hold out before you admit your mistake?" He had been a close friend of Ji Fangxu for half a lifetime. He had taken Ji Shenyu in to care for and raise, doting on him through summer, autumn, and winter, only for the boy to deliver him this stunning blow in early spring.

His own son and his adopted son, messing around together. It was madness!

He had only ever heard of two men being intimate in idle gossip. Now, at his age, he was witnessing it firsthand!

Ding Yanshou opened the study door, fetched a feather duster, and finally prepared to carry out the family punishment. Blow after blow, he swung his arm down as if beating an enemy. Ding Hanbai bit his lip hard, letting out only muffled grunts. Bloody welts appeared one by one, seeping through his cream-colored shirt. He rolled off the sofa onto the carpet, curling up and struggling.

Ji Shenyu was grabbed and held tightly by Jiang Ting'en and Ding Keyu before he could even rush to his side. Ding Yanshou said, "If you want to kneel, then kneel. For every minute you kneel, I'll hit him twenty times. His skin is already split open. Whether his muscles and bones get injured is up to you."

Jiang Ting'en said urgently, "Go! Do you want Big Brother to be beaten to death?!"

Ding Keyu didn't even bother trying to persuade him and just dragged Ji Shenyu outside. Ji Shenyu watched helplessly as Ding Hanbai was covered in seeping blood, tasting the bitterness of having nowhere to turn. He broke free, ran back to the small courtyard to find the first-aid kit, and, like a madman, stuffed a bag full of supplies and pushed it into Jiang Ting'en's hands.

His lips trembled. "This is for disinfecting, this is to stop the bleeding! Pain relief... take one of these for the pain. Wrap the gauze gently, blow on it, give him water, give him lots of water!"

Ding Keyu snatched it away. "You're not the Cowherd and Weaver Girl, and Eldest Uncle isn't the Queen Mother of the West. Can you stop acting like a pair of lovers being beaten apart?" After shouting, he felt very embarrassed. "That day we caught you fooling around, from the looks of it, it was Big Brother forcing you... were you really willing?"

Ji Shenyu was in a state of panic. "Are you reporting back to Master?" Since his reputation was already worthless, he said earnestly, "Third Brother, listen carefully. I'm an illegitimate son. What I'm best at is being devious and seducing people. And I just happen to like men, so I corrupted Senior Brother."

Jiang Ting'en cursed, "What the fuck are you saying?! If you have the energy to fight over taking the blame, why don't you just separate immediately?!"

Ji Shenyu turned and went back into the room. He didn't know what he was saying either, only that when the feather duster struck Ding Hanbai's body, he hurt so much that all his internal organs felt displaced.

The beating had stopped. Several wire loops on the feather duster had sprung loose. Ding Hanbai was on his last breath. "You monster. I really wish I could beat you to death and put an end to this line." Having wounded his body, Ding Yanshou now attacked his spirit before leaving the room.

Ding Hanbai's eyes were half-open, his vision darkening in waves. He fainted.

When he woke up, he was lying on the sofa again. His wounds had been treated. Jiang Ting'en was leaning over, studying him, sobbing uncontrollably. He struggled to lift a hand, wiped away the tears, and patted his shoulder, his voice as faint as a thread. "...How is Shenyu?"

Jiang Ting'en said angrily, "He's been driven out! The train has probably already reached Yangzhou by now!"

As he spoke, the two brothers from the East Courtyard came over, one carrying a tray of food, the other holding clothes. Ding Erhe lifted Ding Hanbai up, while Ding Keyu pushed Jiang Ting'en aside and held up a bowl of soup to feed him.

The scallops were minced finely, as if to avoid the effort of chewing. Every dish was light and soft, and there were even candied dates and red beans in the rice. Ding Hanbai ate bite by bite, a faint smile on his lips. With a crunch, he found an Eight Treasures Candy hidden in the rice.

Ding Keyu said, "Auntie spent all afternoon making this. Eat more."

Ding Hanbai cursed, "Stop with the clumsy denial. You think I can't recognize Ji Shenyu's cooking?"

Jiang Ting'en started crying again. Oh Buddha, Jesus, Guanyin, sorry Chairman Mao, sorry ancestors, his tears were about to splash into the soup bowl.. After eating, Ding Hanbai changed his clothes and shakily sat up straight, looking at the three of them.

The setting sun was the color of blood. For a moment, he didn't know what to say either.