Chapter 36

Jiang Du stared at him blankly, like a little lamb. Her hair was permed into big curls, like an exploded cloud.

Wei Qingyue was asking her a question.

A tornado was approaching. She stood in the eye of the storm, exceptionally quiet, but all around her, school uniforms, dust, the lockers at the end of the hallway were soaring into the air, the trees by the library were uprooted, black plastic bags shot high up, and the fried chicken from the cafeteria smelled fragrant. The entire world of the past was swirling violently around Jiang Du.

How strange, they were clearly in an authentic Hong Kong-style restaurant.

Jiang Du was stunned for a good ten seconds or so. With a tipsy, drunken feeling, she felt as if she had fallen into a deep dream, a dream where Wei Qingyue was talking nonsense.

"Do you need some time to think?" His hand actually reached over, so brazenly, and lightly touched her fingers. Jiang Du snapped back to her senses in shock. Her face was scorching hot, and she looked at Wei Qingyue in a fluster, "Don't joke with me."

The next second, of course, was the tactical water-drinking of social anxiety. Jiang Du quickly picked up the cup beside her and gulped down the tea.

"I'm not joking with you," Wei Qingyue withdrew his hand, vexed. The smile in his eyes was also a bit bitter. "Am I acting frivolously? Do I look like I'm joking with you?"

Jiang Du, this little lamb, frantically tried to refill her tea, but Wei Qingyue unhesitatingly pressed her hand down. He said, "Look at me, Jiang Du. I'm not joking. I want to be in a relationship with you. Is it clearer if I say it like this?"

Wei Qingyue was acting like a hooligan forcing himself on a maiden. She wanted to laugh, but also felt like her heart was about to leap out of her mouth and land right in front of him, exposing her secret.

Her bright red heart thumped, and every beat was saying, 'Wei Qingyue, I want to be in a relationship with you too.'

Jiang Du felt dizzy. People often say they're so happy they could faint, and that was the extent of her composure; she nearly did faint.

Her mouth felt numb. She stammered, "Well, let me think about it."

'What is there to think about?' Wei Qingyue smiled, nodded, and said, "Don't you want to know what I was doing this afternoon?"

This guy, so proud and awkward. He clearly wanted to say it himself but had to push it onto Jiang Du.

Jiang Du was all ears, but her mind was actually a chaotic mess, like an overgrown field. Wei Qingyue seemed like a different person. It was too strange. After twelve years apart, he suddenly ran up and said, 'I'm very happy to see you, I want to be in a relationship with you.'

He was so much like a lunatic.

Who does things like this?

The two of them took a long time to eat this meal. Wei Qingyue described a launch ceremony in exhaustive detail, with technical jargon flying everywhere. Jiang Du was listening in a daze, as if looking at flowers in a fog, when he suddenly smiled slyly:

"I have some videos online, you haven't seen them? They're for popular science."

Jiang Du shook her head honestly. "I haven't." She didn't look like she was lying at all.

This greatly exceeded Wei Qingyue's expectations. Those sharp, dark eyes glanced over as he asked her again, "Huang Yingshi was going to interview me. You should have known in advance."

But Jiang Du denied it again. "I didn't know in advance."

Wei Qingyue's smile was like a river that had stopped flowing. He studied Jiang Du speculatively, as if getting to know her all over again.

He felt this conversation wasn't right, that it was unacceptable, but time was still moving forward. It wasn't a rehearsal for a TV drama that could be done over.

But in the next second, Jiang Du smiled shyly and said, "So you're this easy to trick." Her voice was very quiet, but the atmosphere lightened a bit. Wei Qingyue was stunned for a moment, then he smiled knowingly.

He wanted to ask her why she hadn't contacted him when she knew he was in this city too. If she had wanted to, if she had been willing, she could have always found him.

After dinner, he went to pay the bill and handed her his jacket. "It's chilly outside."

Early autumn weather was like that—hot at noon, cool in the morning and evening, and dry. Jiang Du clutched the lapels of the jacket, wrapping herself in it. The two walked side by side, and their shadows on the ground looked very close.

Once they were in the car, Wei Qingyue didn't start it right away. Instead, in the pitch-dark seats, he began to speak, "Jiang Du, can I ask you some things about the past?"

Jiang Du took out her phone, the light illuminating her face. She looked at the time. She didn't have the heart to stop him from talking, but she needed to make a call.

"I told my Grandma I'd be home before ten tonight. It's already nine thirty-eight now. I want to let them know."

It was he who was too impatient, wanting to say a lifetime's worth of words on the day of their reunion.

Realizing this, Wei Qingyue calmed down for a moment. He said, "I'll take you home first. It's not good to make your grandparents worry."

The residential complex was neither new nor old. Wei Qingyue thought he was dreaming. The roads were the same, the scent of osmanthus was the same, and even the security guard hadn't aged, looking perpetually forty years old.

He slowed his pace, carefully sizing up this complex he was visiting for the first time. He suddenly spoke, "I've been here before. No, wait, how is this exactly the same as your old home?"

How could he forget Jiang Du's home? Even though he had only been there twice.

Jiang Du clutched the jacket and smiled. She said, "I didn't rent an apartment. I rented this place precisely because this complex is very similar to my old home."

Unexpectedly, Wei Qingyue remained silent for a long time.

He stood there, his lonely shadow cast on the ground, a dark, heavy blotch. Seeing him like this, Jiang Du wanted to cry. So many years had passed, but whenever she thought of Wei Qingyue all alone, she felt as if a piece of her heart had been brutally gouged out again.

"Wei Qingyue?" Jiang Du had already started walking ahead, but she turned back, walked to his side, and cautiously called his name.

Wei Qingyue still had a smile on his face. He said, "I'm really afraid this is a dream. I've dreamt of you many times, and you'd be gone as soon as I woke up. Just now, when I discovered that the complex you live in is exactly the same as the place your family lived in over a decade ago, my heart pounded. I suspected I was dreaming again."

The sadness in Jiang Du's heart was like the tide. The seawater rose, wave after wave crashing relentlessly, expanding its blurred territory until it completely submerged her heart.

All day, he had been ardent and direct, but at this moment, a layer of confusion and dullness veiled his eyes. "After I got to America, I contacted Zhang Xiaoqiang. She said you wanted to wait until after the Gaokao to contact me. I thought that made sense; you were afraid of it affecting your studies. But I waited until the summer of 2009, and Zhang Xiaoqiang told me again that you said you wanted to test me, that you were afraid I wouldn't return to the country at all, and that if I still thought of contacting you after graduating from university, you would contact me too. In 2015, I finally came back. That was when Zhang Xiaoqiang told me she had lost contact with you, that she couldn't find you either. Isn't that fucking bullshit?"

At this point, Wei Qingyue gave a self-deprecating and helpless smile. "Are you all playing me? I was originally so angry with you, I was about to go crazy. I thought to myself, I'm like the undercover cop in Infernal Affairs. We agreed on three years, but after three years, there was another three years. It's endless."

Look, Wei Qingyue swore so uninhibitedly in front of her. He had never been a gentle and refined person. He had a harshness about him, even though society had polished him over the years, giving him a sophisticated side. But he had long seen Jiang Du as someone he could say anything to. Was it only longing he felt for her?

No, there was also resentment. Resentment that she hadn't played fair.

'You're the one who came to provoke me, writing me letters, sharing everything in them, subtly hinting that I should wear more clothes when it's cold, subtly hinting that I shouldn't be defeated by life's difficulties, that with a healthy body I could start over... I understood all the roundabout things in your letters perfectly; I'm not a block of wood. You were the only one who cared if I would get beaten. Wei Zhendong can't beat me anymore, but you can't be a person like this. You said your blessings for me would count every day, every minute, every second, but then you yourself just disappeared?'

'Either don't fucking provoke me, or take full responsibility for me.'

This thought sustained Wei Qingyue for three years, and then another three. Four sets of three years passed, even longer than the ten years of undercover work in Infernal Affairs.

They hadn't gotten anywhere yet, but Wei Qingyue was already getting twisted up and awkward.

'Hey, wake up! Jiang Du hasn't even agreed to go out with you yet. What happened to the ardent pursuit you promised?' he heard a little person shouting in his heart.

The shadow on the ground thawed. Just as Wei Qingyue was about to speak, he heard Jiang Du's faint "I'm sorry."

She was crying.

She didn't explain what had happened; it seemed she only knew how to cry.

'Then just forget it.' Wei Qingyue was surprised at how quickly he forgave her. He took the initiative to say, "Was I too harsh just now? I didn't mean to be harsh with you."

Jiang Du shook her head, tears soaking her face.

"How about... I give you a hug?" Wei Qingyue's heart was being kneaded, mixed with tears. After saying this, he stepped forward and pulled Jiang Du into his arms. 'Girls are so soft.' He had never held a girl before. The soft, fragrant, light body was incredibly wonderful. The back of Wei Qingyue's ears gradually grew warm, then hot.

Jiang Du rested against his chest, his heartbeat vibrating in her ears. The jacket was half-falling off her shoulder, so Wei Qingyue simply draped it properly over her again, completely enveloping her frail form. Where his arm tightened, the jacket creased.

The world was dim. She smelled that orchid fragrance from her dreams again. Jiang Du closed her eyes, her hands clutching his shirt tightly, her nose greedily sniffing his scent like a puppy.

She once didn't even dare to glance at him, but now, Wei Qingyue was holding her.

"Have you hugged anyone else?" Jiang Du's voice emerged from inside the jacket, trembling slightly along with her body.

After asking, she buried her head, hiding her breath.

Wei Qingyue felt a dampness on his chest. His eyes reflected the faint glow of the streetlight, and his voice was also faint, "No. I've only ever held you."

Besides Jiang Du, no one was worthy of being held in his arms.

Jiang Du heard his straightforward expression. She felt that even if she died in the next moment, she would have no regrets. Of course, she didn't want to die, she absolutely didn't want to die. She wanted to have a good relationship with Wei Qingyue, then get married, then have children, and then grow old together. And in the end... at the thought of death, Jiang Du started crying sadly again.

She didn't want to be separated from Wei Qingyue again. No, she had to die first. No, no, no, if that happened, Wei Qingyue would be all alone again.

"Wei Qingyue," Jiang Du was struck by the drifting scent of osmanthus. The rich, pungent smell made her shiver. She lifted her face slightly, but her eyes, just like before, still didn't dare to meet his, only her eyelashes trembled wildly. "You probably don't know, I have tons of flaws. I hate talking, I'm not good at socializing, I don't earn much money, I get lost easily when I go out—I've been here for many years and I can still take the wrong subway line. My cooking isn't tasty at all. I only have two elderly people in my family, and they're getting older and older. You know? The boyfriend my colleague was dating heard her dad had a stroke and broke up with her immediately... I'm not young anymore, but I've only gained years, not much wisdom. I'm just ordinary. For someone like me, the world wouldn't notice if there was one more or one less of me. I'm not being pessimistic, nor am I belittling myself. Right now, I'm just telling you about myself very objectively and rationally. What I want to say is," rushing through her words in one breath, Jiang Du forced herself to look into Wei Qingyue's eyes, like a sad little lamb, "do you still want to be in a relationship with me? If you regret it, you can take it back. I can understand situations where you might make the wrong decision on a whim."

She quickly lowered her head again.

"Classmate Ghostwriter," Wei Qingyue pinched her chin, his fingers moving to frame the corners of Jiang Du's mouth, making her cheeks puff out. He frowned. "Hearing you say all that, your qualifications really aren't great. Have you been on blind dates? Forget it, you'd just be like a dummy if you went. You've already delayed until you're an 'older youth.' But you see, it's just such a coincidence. I have a bad temper, a sharp tongue, I'm ruthless and ungrateful, and I also happen to be an 'older youth.' My only virtue is probably that I can earn a little money, enough to raise a few kids without a problem. If you think that's passable, want to make do?"

His tone was teasing, but his gaze was focused, as if trying to see right into her eyes.

The tears on Jiang Du's face hadn't dried. His words made her want to cry one moment and laugh the next. She couldn't help but smile. The tip of her nose stung terribly, yet she felt as sweet as a little honeybee that had fallen into a sea of flowers.

"Alright then, I've thought it over," she said slowly. Because he was pinching her face, she looked cute and comical.

Wei Qingyue looked at her deeply, released her, and as he leaned down, his movement was blocked by Jiang Du's hand. She said in a complete fluster, "What... what are you trying to do?"

Wei Qingyue didn't answer. He pressed his finger against her trembling lips, then gently brushed them a couple of times. Cupping the back of Jiang Du's head with one hand, he tilted his head and kissed her.