Seeing Spring

见春天

seeing-spring

Chapter 34

It was foggy that day.



 The calendar read September 1, 2019.



 The crew of the show &quot;Password&quot; waited for Wei Qingyue on the 15th floor of the hotel. He was dressed very casually in slacks and a thin long-sleeved shirt, the cuffs rolled up slightly, and a pair of sneakers with somewhat dirty sides.



 After getting out of the car, he took the elevator. When he reached the 15th floor, the carpet and the light in the hallway were the same dim color, giving off a twilight feel. Staff members, both men and women, were conversing in low voices in the corridor.



 From the moment he got out of the car, the camera was on him, filming him as he walked. He didn&#x27;t speak, just kept moving forward. The sound of his footsteps was particularly clear in the recording. The host, Huang Yingshi, came out of the room, extending her hand first. &quot;President Wei, a pleasure, a pleasure. Thank you for coming.&quot;



 On the table were two glasses of plain water, the glasses transparent. Wei Qingyue sat down and smiled. &quot;Let&#x27;s use a different address. Just calling me Wei Qingyue is fine,&quot; he said, pointing out the window. &quot;The smog is quite heavy today.&quot;



 Huang Yingshi followed his gaze out the window, starting the conversation casually. &quot;The weather isn&#x27;t great, but you seem much brighter in person than online, and more handsome—more obviously handsome.&quot; She laughed as she spoke. &quot;Do you mind that people focus too much on your appearance?&quot;



 Wei Qingyue sat on the sofa in a relaxed posture. He raised an eyebrow slightly, with his own brand of slyness. &quot;I don&#x27;t mind. I judge by looks too.&quot;



 &quot;Does your company hire based on looks?&quot; Huang Yingshi laughed. &quot;It&#x27;s true we live in an age where looks matter. So, would you mind if people define you as, say, an internet celebrity? The controversy around you is that you have a high level of education, you&#x27;re a returnee from overseas, a standard top student, a new tech tycoon, yet as an elite, you&#x27;ve also become an internet celebrity. And you&#x27;re doing the simplest form of popular science. Although you don&#x27;t appear in many videos, you get a lot of traffic and are hotly debated and sought after. How do you personally view these controversies? Do you feel the term &#x27;internet celebrity&#x27; lacks class?&quot;



 Wei Qingyue took a sip of purified water, his tone even more relaxed than his posture. &quot;The concept of an &#x27;internet celebrity&#x27; should inherently be a neutral term—a famous person on the internet. But perhaps for many reasons, when people hear this word now, they feel it has more of a negative connotation. For me, since the meaning of a word is given by people, it&#x27;s entirely possible for it to change with time, from bad to good, right? As for you saying it&#x27;s simple popular science, I don&#x27;t agree with that point. The reason I appear on camera is partly because the company sometimes needs it for promotion, and partly because I&#x27;m very interested in participating in this kind of popular science myself. I have friends who&#x27;ve formed a dedicated team to make this type of show. Getting people interested in science is a commendable thing. Perhaps there&#x27;s a misunderstanding among the public that things that sound colloquial are very superficial.&quot;



 &quot;But you can&#x27;t deny that, in many cases, that&#x27;s how it is. Once it becomes colloquial, it faces the dilemma of being difficult to be profound,&quot; Huang Yingshi said.



 Wei Qingyue said, &quot;Science isn&#x27;t like that. The public thinks something is simple because you understood what I said. But you don&#x27;t know the process behind making you understand, making you feel it&#x27;s simple. And in this field, if the top students who have mastered the knowledge don&#x27;t occupy it, what kind of people do the public want to occupy it? Health gurus?&quot;



 An occasional sharpness was hidden in the almost teasing rhetorical question at the end.



 &quot;Then isn&#x27;t there a suspicion of using your high education and professional knowledge to gain traffic? Or, have you ever thought that the reason the few videos you&#x27;ve done have been such hot topics is, to put it simply, also influenced by your good looks?&quot; Huang Yingshi threw the question back at him.



 Wei Qingyue stroked his brow with his fingers and said unhurriedly, &quot;Those are two good questions. The word &#x27;traffic,&#x27; in the context of your question just now, clearly carries a negative connotation again. I just explained that the meaning of a word is given by people. So if I don&#x27;t think there&#x27;s a problem with traffic, then there&#x27;s no problem. Everyone is chasing after brevity, chasing how to get the most sensory pleasure within a minute, but this pleasure is also fleeting, pushing people to constantly look for the next thing to swipe to. I won&#x27;t comment on whether this is right or wrong, good or bad. For the videos I participate in, the shortest is over ten minutes, and the longest can be half an hour. It can still hold people&#x27;s attention, make them willing to watch, willing to learn some correct knowledge. Perhaps it will inadvertently improve the viewer&#x27;s scientific literacy. That is already its greatest significance.&quot; He smiled, half-joking. &quot;As for looks, I&#x27;m not so insecure or anxious as to feel I don&#x27;t deserve the attention, worrying that this traffic comes solely from my appearance. Your question might be more targeted if you asked practitioners in a certain other industry.&quot;



 This made Huang Yingshi give a knowing smile. Wei Qingyue had a perfectly pitched sense of humor. Her interview was different from the special reports business magazines did on Wei Qingyue; it was less formulaic, less polished, and more of a clash of ideas.



 &quot;Your resume looks very impressive. You could be said to have achieved success at a young age, with seemingly no failures to date. You were born in &#x27;91, and you&#x27;ll soon reach the age of thirty. What do you think are the characteristics of your generation in you?&quot;



 &quot;How do you define failure?&quot; Wei Qingyue asked her back. &quot;What standard is used to measure it? I can&#x27;t represent my generation. I&#x27;m an individual, and a very small one at that. I can&#x27;t say I achieved success at a young age. If you want me to talk about the characteristics of this generation, that might be a rather large question, for me.&quot;



 Huang Yingshi said, &quot;I understand what you mean, but an era always leaves some traces on an individual. For example, when I was in school, teachers loved to discuss politics. Even now, a group of old men downstairs might still love to discuss it when they get together. But I don&#x27;t seem to sense this kind of enthusiasm in people your age. My peers, especially the men, are still quite keen on it.&quot;



 Wei Qingyue would skillfully avoid things he didn&#x27;t want to discuss in depth. Huang Yingshi saw his attitude and said, &quot;Could it be said that you are a very contradictory person?&quot;



 &quot;How so?&quot; He shifted his position.



 &quot;On one hand, you care about whether the people around you are interested in science and the positive impact your actions can have. On the other hand, you keep a distance from others and refrain from making judgments, as if with an indifferent attitude. Your company&#x27;s business scope itself covers new fields like new energy, artificial intelligence, and autonomous driving. Regardless of your subjective motives, objectively, it is indeed about to change the world and make it better. Could it be that your profession is also influencing your personality?&quot;



 Wei Qingyue laughed. &quot;Subjective motives? Money. Will the world really become better? I don&#x27;t know. But I don&#x27;t think these two aspects are contradictory. Even if they are, isn&#x27;t that normal? People are always in a state of contradiction.&quot;



 &quot;Have you ever been in a very contradictory state?&quot; Huang Yingshi refilled his glass with water.



 Wei Qingyue seemed to nod without even thinking. &quot;Yes. When I went abroad to study, before I left, I had been looking forward to it for a long time. I was extremely eager because my relationship with my father was very tense, and I had always wanted to escape that environment. Later, when I was actually studying in America, I instead felt a sense of exile, of drifting. Those years were actually very dull. I didn&#x27;t like to socialize, so I just buried my head in research. After returning to China, and up until now, I instead have a feeling of being grounded.&quot;



 &quot;A tense relationship with your father—can this be understood as your family of origin having caused you a certain amount of harm? Have you ever thought about how to heal this harm?&quot; Huang Yingshi looked at him calmly.



 &quot;Does it have to be healed? Will it definitely be healed?&quot; Wei Qingyue asked with a smile. &quot;Things that can&#x27;t be healed, I&#x27;ve always believed, should just be left unhealed. Just leave them there. Not everything needs a resolution. I have no obsession with this.&quot; After saying that, he paused for a few seconds, as if adding, &quot;Of course, it&#x27;s also possible that deep in my subconscious I want to heal, but I&#x27;m just not aware of it.&quot;



 &quot;Your words remind me of a movie, Manchester by the Sea. I don&#x27;t know if you&#x27;ve seen it. The theme of the movie has a similar sentiment to your attitude. Um, in your popular science shows, and including our conversation today, I see that you are very relaxed and worldly-wise. Are you in this state at work as well? Is this the side of you that people usually see and get to know through the internet?&quot; Huang Yingshi asked.



 Wei Qingyue picked up his water glass, his fingertips rubbing against the clear glass. &quot;There are times when I&#x27;m tense, but when I clearly feel the pressure, I&#x27;ll think that I should just cast aside distracting thoughts and simply focus on doing it seriously. The best state is to be like a tree.&quot;



 Huang Yingshi clearly hadn&#x27;t expected him to suddenly use such a metaphor. She smiled and asked, &quot;Why is the best state to be like a tree?&quot;



 &quot;In front of the library at my high school alma mater, there is a tree. I had never noticed that tree before, until one day, someone told me that at night, the tree looks dark because of its dense leaves and branches, like a person standing there. Then in winter, all the leaves fall off. I later found that it was really like that.&quot; Wei Qingyue rested his chin on his hand and chuckled lightly. He thought of someone, a person who would stir up strong emotions whenever he thought of her. &quot;That tree, whether I cared about it or not, would grow when it should grow and wither when it should wither. It didn&#x27;t sprout buds or shed leaves just because I saw it. I think it&#x27;s best for people to have this state when doing things. Do what needs to be done. The environment, whether it&#x27;s a gentle breeze and fine rain or a raging storm, must be accepted. But it doesn&#x27;t hinder the process of growth and decay itself.&quot;



 &quot;There&#x27;s a hint of Laozi and Zhuangzi&#x27;s philosophy in what you&#x27;re saying,&quot; Huang Yingshi had to admit that although Wei Qingyue came from a science background, he had a strong ability to articulate his views. She returned to something he had said earlier. &quot;You said you don&#x27;t know if the world will really become better. This seems to form another contradiction with your tree metaphor.&quot;



 &quot;People are always in a state of contradiction. The topic has come full circle, hasn&#x27;t it?&quot; Wei Qingyue made a gesture. &quot;You can understand it this way: I may have doubts and pessimism in my thoughts, but I am very proactive in my actions. A pessimistic optimist.&quot;



 Huang Yingshi laughed and nodded.



 Outside the window, the smog was still heavy, so heavy that the world was obscured. The city was like a mirage built upon a mirror of illusion. Wei Qingyue suddenly noticed a clock hanging in the interview room, and the clock wasn&#x27;t moving. Time was frozen.



 &quot;Your clock seems to be broken,&quot; he said, pointing to the wall. Huang Yingshi turned her head to look and said with a smile, &quot;You&#x27;re a very observant guest.&quot;



 &quot;I&#x27;m used to paying attention to details,&quot; Wei Qingyue joked.



 &quot;I didn&#x27;t expect you to be so talkative. You have the meticulousness of a science student, but also the sensibility of a liberal arts student,&quot; Huang Yingshi said.



 Wei Qingyue smiled. &quot;If I weren&#x27;t talkative, how could I be on a show? Why would you invite me?&quot;



 He remained in a state of complete ease from beginning to end. Huang Yingshi looked at him and asked, &quot;I&#x27;ve met some friends around your age, and many of them are anxious. But I don&#x27;t sense that from you. This anxiety isn&#x27;t simply about money or material things. By worldly standards, they have already achieved a certain level of success. Do you have your own anxieties? For example, about the uncertainty of the future?&quot;



 &quot;The topic of anxiety has been discussed enough. I think we don&#x27;t need to talk about this anxiety anymore, to create more anxiety. Everyone has their own way of living,&quot; Wei Qingyue once again sidestepped a topic he didn&#x27;t want to discuss.



 But Huang Yingshi pressed on, &quot;In your experience, can you digest everything so philosophically? Is there anything you can&#x27;t reconcile with yourself?&quot;



 At this question, Wei Qingyue finally paused for a moment. He picked up his glass and drank his water quietly.



 &quot;Love, I guess,&quot; he said suddenly. Huang Yingshi was taken aback for a second. The camera was still on both of them. &quot;Being unable to have love is something that&#x27;s easy to hold a grudge over. At least for me.&quot;



 &quot;Are you sure you want to talk about this topic?&quot; Huang Yingshi blinked at him.



 Wei Qingyue understood her delicate consideration. He brushed it off as if it were a joke, &quot;Just a brief mention is enough.&quot;



 The interview lasted for several dozen minutes. Wei Qingyue said a lot. After it ended, there were a few more pleasantries, with endless remarks like &quot;Thank you for your hard work.&quot; He was clearly tired, a sense of weariness that surfaced immediately after finishing.



 In the hallway, it was still the color of twilight. He walked out of the interview room. Huang Yingshi was giving instructions to a staff member. She had started as a reporter, written a column, been a lead writer for a considerable period, and became the deputy editor-in-chief of a famous magazine, producing many hit articles under her leadership. In interviewing Wei Qingyue, there were actually many areas where she hadn&#x27;t hit a sore spot today. Wei Qingyue was the type of person who would talk very seriously about things he wanted to talk about, and for things he didn&#x27;t, he would either not respond or steer the conversation to another topic. The only highlight was that line about &quot;love,&quot; but Huang Yingshi didn&#x27;t seize on this private point to pursue it relentlessly.



 Wei Qingyue loved to drink plain water. Before leaving, he went to the restroom. When he came out, he saw a figure hurrying past. He followed that figure for a few steps. This day was September 1, 2019, the day when first-year high school students usually started school, but that was 12 years ago. Back then, there was no WeChat; few people knew what a smartphone was, no Taobao, no food delivery. They could only use money to buy things. The word &quot;internet celebrity&quot; didn&#x27;t exist, nor did the word &quot;traffic.&quot; So many absurd things had not yet happened. The world seemed to be a very old-fashioned world.



 This was part of his plan. Seeing this figure, accepting the invitation from &quot;Password,&quot; coming on the show—every word he said was for her.



 It was as simple as that.



 His expression, at 28 years old, was the same as when he was a teenager. Wei Qingyue thought, &#x27;How did you end up like this, Classmate Ghostwriter? I thought it would be you asking me about algorithms and values, but there was nothing. Still, I bet you&#x27;ll secretly watch my interview video.&#x27;



 Wei Qingyue felt none of the shock and sadness he had imagined. He only felt very happy, to have seen a certain person on a certain day at the age of 28.

Chapter 34

DuskParadise