SAYE

撒野

saye

Chapter 91 Part 1

Putting the money with Gu Fei would make more sense than saying I have money here, take it. This way, when Gu Fei needs money in the future, he can just say use the money I gave you instead. It would be more natural for Gu Fei to accept it this way too.
He had enough money on his card for the various school and living expenses this last year, plus the first year of university. The extra can go to Gu Fei. &nbsp;
But as soon as he opened his mouth, Gu Fei saw through his little plan and didn't let him continue. He didn't want to bring it up again either.
Gu Fei had to edit photos tonight so he couldn't "help him study" at the rental. He stood at the intersection watching Gu Fei and his sister Gu Miao skateboarding, a little lost in thought.
Everyone has their own stories, sad or happy or helpless. If you don't get to know them deeply, you'll never know what's on their minds or what's happening behind those lit windows where someone might be sighing.
Gu Fei looked back at me several times, waving to indicate he didn't need to keep watching them. But he just stood there.
Finally Gu Fei called him: "Did you throw your back out?"
"No," He laughed. "What's wrong with watching for a bit?"
"I'm going to forget how to walk if you keep staring," Gu Fei said. "Go back, didn't you need to study?"
"Now that you mention it," he sighed, "I'm suddenly very nervous."
"Then I won't mention it," Gu Fei said. "Keep watching, I still have to turn the corner in 5 meters."
After hanging up, he smiled and continued watching Gu Fei's figure disappearing into the distance. He waved again as he turned the corner, like a flying kiss.
He looked left and right, and when no one was around, waved back a flying kiss.
Back in his room, he felt like a robot going through his routine actions - showering, tidying up, sitting at the desk, finishing homework, then starting to read and review as planned in his head.
The practice problems, material to memorize, it's all in his head. He don't write out a study plan like some people. He just remembered - what he had to do each day, what he did yesterday, where he's having trouble, what he needed to do today, what he could leave until tomorrow...
The books are filled with colored highlights and notes like a code that only he could understand - what each color means, plus his notebook.
He opened his notebook. His notes were very concise, just brief prompts so he could think back to the details. Add this character... No one would probably even take his notes for free after graduation. It's like a secret code.
This character...
As he recited, he casually wrote down some key words and phrases following his train of thought, as handwriting practice.
His writing had improved a bit - at least now he can control myself from connecting all the strokes even though it's still ugly.
Stroke by stroke, although it's ugly, at least it's recognizable.
There was a notebook on the desk that Gu Fei had forgotten to take - he picked it up and flipped through it. Gu Fei's so-called notebook was basically a blank new notebook. He brought the same one to each class, just for show.
If he remembered right, he's been using this since last semester. And now... only used 7 or 8 pages, about 10 lines per page.
He had never looked through Gu Fei's notes before. Today was the first time he saw what he wrote in his notebook and he laughed at the first line.
Old Lu's voice booms like a bell, more stimulating than the end of class bell.
Sleepy.
Very very very very very sleepy.
Can't get past this level.
Li Yan cleared 12 levels, scumbag.
Forgot to bring power bank.
Eat pan-fried buns.
No noodles no noodles no noodles no.
Population reproduction, generational replacement, birth, death.
I raised my eyebrows, a little surprised to see something related to class content. He probably jotted it down when lying on the desk bored.
But that was the only sentence. What followed was just scribbled circles, clearly zoning out and doodling unconsciously.
After appreciating Gu Fei's "notes", he stretched and continued reciting.
He should encourage Gu Fei to write more notes like these. Reading them put him in a good mood and stimulated him. Glancing at them while taking breaks, he could probably sit here until 3am no problem.
Gu Fei's head plunged forward and his whole face firmly smashed into the keyboard.
"Fuck!" He cursed. His nose stung badly and took forever to recover.
He didn't normally get this sleepy editing photos late into the night. But today he had dozed off still holding the mouse. And he passed out so deeply his face smashed into the keyboard with total commitment.
But this wasn't the same feeling as getting sleepy in class, on the verge of dozing off immediately without his phone. Or the sleepiness after a tiring day playing skateboard with Gu Miao or arguing with his mom.
It was more like the relaxation after venting.
After his nose recovered, he touched the keyboard again. Maybe this tall, handsome nose could smash the thing.
Today was...venting, for sure. For the first time in so many years, he told someone his true thoughts. For the first time he cried so recklessly and unreservedly in front of someone. Although coerced by Jiang Cheng, it still felt like a huge relief.
Like when hurdling - you don't know if you'll make it over or fall down. You don't know if you'll land safely or break your leg.
Taking that first step is the hardest. Once you jump, you suddenly feel light. All those guesses about what would happen next are gone.
Speaking up is the hardest. Once the first sentence is out, the burden disappears.
The future is still uncertain. The thought that speaking out might just burden others still lingered. But it was all cleared away.
Tomorrow... Gu Fei took out his phone and opened their high school forum, but hesitated and closed it again. No need to wait for tomorrow - it must already be blowing up since this afternoon.
The students are always bored with endless discussions everyday. Even a teacher dating sparked bets on if and when they'd break up.
News of "Gu Fei can compose music" could probably spark a week of discussion.
When he left the auditorium today, he thought about Jiang Cheng's reaction. He didn't want Jiang Cheng to be disappointed. He could pretend not to see people's surprise and praise on the forums. But when all eyes turned to look at him, he still felt restless.
Gu Fei is so awesome! Gu Fei is so amazing!
That constant feeling of being reminded was really uncomfortable. Plus he'd gotten so used to avoiding attention these years. The moment those four words came out, he felt a panicked sense of being torn open.
No time to consider Jiang Cheng's feelings at seeing him leave. Almost simultaneously, he fled the auditorium.
He knew how long Jiang Cheng had prepared for this and how much care he put into it. He didn't dare imagine how disappointed Jiang Cheng must have felt seeing his empty seat.
Jiang Cheng yelled at him by the river, but he didn't feel the slightest anger or annoyance. Just helplessness and heartache.
Heartache at Jiang Cheng trying to grasp at the last lifeline as if wanting to hold onto him, but never able to gain that sense of security to put his heart at ease.
He sighed softly and picked up his phone to check the time. Past midnight - the top student must still be immersed in the great cause of reviewing and preparing for exams.
He planned to message the study master at 1am.
The living room door opened. Mom was home. Gu Fei was surprised. She should've spent the night at some boyfriend's place.
He frowned and left his room.
Mom was taking off her shoes by the door, not looking up as he came out. "You're not asleep yet?"
"No," Gu Fei watched her. "I thought you weren't coming back tonight?"
"Where else would I go!" Mom snapped, changing shoes and clutching her bag as she headed to the bedroom.
Gu Fei glanced at her face. "What happened to your face?"
"It's nothing, don't mind me." She turned away.
Gu Fei didn't reply, reaching to brush her hair back. "Your boyfriend hit you?"
"Oh come on!" She shook her arm sharply, breaking free of his hand and shoving open the bedroom door. "Why do you care so much!"
Gu Fei followed and tried the handle when she shut the door. Locked after two twists.
"You," Gu Fei kept his voice low. "Still haven't had enough of men hitting you?"
No response from inside. Silence.
"Has getting hit made you dumb?" Gu Fei could hardly describe his feelings. "Open the door!"
The door opened, mom standing inside pointing at him. "Say that again!"
His mom brushed her hair back, making the injury clearer.
"I'm asking if you haven't had enough of men hitting you!" Gu Fei said.
Mom didn't reply, slapping him hard. "What did you say!"
Gu Fei could've dodged it but didn't, the slap ringing sharply on his face.
"What did you say!" Tears welled up in mom's eyes.
"I'm asking if you haven't had enough of men hitting you." Gu Fei repeated it again. His face stung a little but the lingering terror from the wounds on mom's face brought back unforgettable images far exceeding this superficial sensation. &nbsp;
"How would I know he'd hit me!" Mom suddenly sobbed. "He treated me so well before! How would I know he'd get violent!"
"Do you not have eyes? Can't you judge character? Don't you have any judgement? Do you need him to hit you first before realizing he's no good?" Gu Fei fired questions rapidly, voice trembling. "How old are you? You're not a teenager anymore. You can't keep living so naively! Even teenage girls have judgement!"
"What's wrong with me being a teenage girl!" Mom shoved him violently. "I was with your dad since I was a teen! I never got to be one! He died! Can't I be a teenage girl now? I have to be! I want to be a teenage girl forever! He died and that's it? Who's going to compensate me for the years of my youth? Who!?"

SAYE

SAYE

Chapter 98 - Chapter 91 Part 1

Fishsticks