When he woke up in the morning, the room was very quiet. Outside was quite lively with elementary school students on summer vacation shouting and playing, interspersed with occasional cursing from elderly men and women.

Jiang Cheng yawned and looked at the time on his phone. Not bad, he could wash up, grab a quick breakfast, and head over to the photoshoot on time.

"Grandson!" He called out towards the living room as he got out of bed and put on his clothes. "Time to get up!"

There was no response from Pan Zhi in the living room. He walked out of the bedroom, "Grands..."

The living room couch was empty except for the neatly folded small towel and pillow. He was stunned for a moment before calling Pan Zhi.

"Are you up?" Pan Zhi had already picked up, and from the noisy background it was clear he was outside.

"Where did you go?" Jiang Cheng was puzzled to hear the commotion. "Don't tell me you've started a morning workout routine."

"What morning workout!" Pan Zhi replied. "I'm at a breakfast stall getting delicious food for you and Gu Fei. Hurry up and get ready, or it'll get cold."

"What's wrong with you?" Jiang Cheng hurried into the bathroom, holding his phone while squeezing toothpaste and talking at the same time. "It'll take me at least 20 minutes."

"Wash your face while peeing, poop while brushing your teeth, if it takes more than 10 minutes I'll call you grandpa." Pan Zhi said.

"You call me grandpa every day anyway," Jiang Cheng said. "I just want to know why you're being so weird."

"It's Gu Fei," Pan Zhi explained. "This morning he asked if you were up yet. I said I hadn't seen you get up. So he asked what I wanted to eat and he'd go buy it..."

"Then let him buy it, why did you snatch it?" Jiang Cheng mumbled unclearly while brushing his teeth.

"Don't you think he's acting like he's taking care of his wife and his wife's best friend?" Pan Zhi said. "As a modern straight man, I really can't tolerate being treated this way by my bro's boyfriend."

"I think he's acting like a scumbag modern man trying to hook up with my best friend." Jiang Cheng said.

"That's the difference between you gays and us straight men..." Pan Zhi continued. "Anyway stop talking and hurry up and get ready. I see him coming over now. It's so inappropriate for me to be alone with him."

"Got it." Jiang Cheng chuckled as he hung up the phone.

After hanging up, he realized he should have corrected Pan Zhi on referring to him as the wife and best friend. That didn't seem quite right.

By the time Gu Fei sauntered over to the breakfast stall below Jiang Cheng's apartment, Pan Zhi was already setting food on a table that was nearly full.

"Morning." Gu Fei greeted Pan Zhi.

"Morning. If you're hungry go ahead and eat a little first," Pan Zhi said. "I ordered a few more steamed buns that aren't ready yet."

"It's fine, I'll wait for Jiang Cheng." Gu Fei looked upstairs. "Is he up?"

"He's up," Pan Zhi glanced at him. "Didn't you contact him?"

"He'll be down soon anyway." Gu Fei smiled.

Pan Zhi's question made him a little embarrassed.

He had not contacted Jiang Cheng at all since receiving that message from him last night, although he had been thinking about Jiang Cheng intensely the whole time.

But remembering the message he didn't know how to reply to, he didn't dare contact Jiang Cheng. He had not slept well all night, drifting in and out of sleep, with Jiang Cheng's question occupying his mind the whole time.

He didn't know how he would answer if Jiang Cheng asked him in person.

When Jiang Cheng walked over from the building entrance, he raised his hand and waved.

Jiang Cheng smiled at him and waved back too.

That smile gave him the sudden urge to rush over and hug Jiang Cheng tight and kiss him hard.

"Pigging out huh." Jiang Cheng walked over to the table and took a bun from the steamer basket Pan Zhi had just brought over and took a bite.

"When I was little, I always had breakfast at home. My mom said food outside wasn't clean. I was so envious of classmates who ate out. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to eat breakfast from street stalls and order everything on the menu all at once." Pan Zhi said as he sat down looking at the spread on the table.

"You've been eating out since high school right?" Jiang Cheng said.

"Yeah but I'm still not satisfied. The pent up demand of a decade can't be resolved so quickly." Pan Zhi took a sip of soy milk.

The breakfast was a bit excessive. Gu Fei listened to Jiang Cheng and Pan Zhi chat while steadily eating. In the end there was still half a basket of buns left.

"Wasteful." Jiang Cheng patted his stomach.

"We can pack it up and feed any stray dogs or cats we come across later." Pan Zhi put the buns in a plastic bag.

Today's photoshoot was for clothes. It was a collaboration between Ding Zhuxin and some independent fashion brand, so it was shot at her studio. Relatively speaking it would be more relaxing.

Pan Zhi and Jiang Cheng had completely different personalities. Sometimes Gu Fei felt their good relationship was probably due to complementing each other. Jiang Cheng wasn't very good at talking to strangers, but Pan Zhi was different. Within minutes of arriving he was chatting with the two female models.

The two girls kept talking to him while getting their makeup done.

"Admirable huh?" Jiang Cheng sat to the side waiting for makeup, flipping through the brand's brochure to get a sense of it first.

"Yeah." Gu Fei nodded.

"How was talking with your mom yesterday?" Jiang Cheng asked.

"We fought, but it was alright I guess. No way to talk to her without fighting." Gu Fei smiled.

"Did Gu Miao make a fuss?" Jiang Cheng asked again.

"No, she was drawing by herself yesterday. I'll show you when I have time." Gu Fei said.

"Good, in the same style as your profile pic?" Jiang Cheng laughed.

"Probably. I think the rabbit in my profile pic was a masterpiece." Gu Fei fitted the camera lens and looked around holding it up.

"Yesterday I sent you a message...how come you didn't reply?" Jiang Cheng asked hesitantly.

"I fell asleep," Gu Fei still held up the camera. "Didn't hear it."

"Left me hanging huh." Jiang Cheng said.

"I was too tired yesterday," Gu Fei said softly, turning to look at Jiang Cheng's profile through the lens. "Passed out until this morning...I'll change it to a louder notification sound so I won't miss any more."

"Forget it," Jiang Cheng glanced at him. "Just sleep well at night. You're getting dark circles."

Nini gestured for Jiang Cheng to come over for makeup.

As Jiang Cheng got up to walk over, Gu Fei's hand lightly touched his waist.

His body shielded Gu Fei's discreet gesture from view. But the summer heat made Gu Fei's warm palm very noticeable, a brush of warmth across his waist.

Jiang Cheng was used to getting makeup done now. He would sit down, close his eyes, and sometimes even nap a little.

Gu Fei saying he passed out and slept until this morning wasn't the truth.

He was very familiar with every aspect of Gu Fei. If he had really slept that dead, there wouldn't be dark circles. It wasn't just that, maybe others wouldn't notice, but he could see the subtle fatigue on Gu Fei's face very clearly.

Gu Fei hadn't slept well that night.

And it wasn't because of his mother and Gu Miao either. If it really was because of them, Gu Fei would say so.

It was because of the message he had sent, the message he had wanted to recall but was already too late to withdraw when he tried.

He didn't know if Gu Fei had thought about the future like he asked. He also didn't know if asking like this would seem clingy, wanting a commitment from his boyfriend.

Or maybe Gu Fei had thought about it, just didn't have an answer.

Gu Fei was the same as usual during the shoot, patiently reminding him of poses and angles. Although he felt uncertain inside, and a bit unhappy, seeing Gu Fei still made him feel comfortable.

Every one of Gu Fei's actions comforted him - holding up the camera, kneeling on one knee, bending to find an angle, even lowering his head to review photos. He couldn't take his eyes off Gu Fei.

Occasionally his eyes met Pan Zhi's, and Pan Zhi would give him a meaningful smile before continuing to ogle the girl beside him. Of course he would quickly return a meaningful smile too.

After finishing the shots for today and getting ready to leave, he saw Pan Zhi had already added one of the models on WeChat. The two were still making eyes at each other reluctantly as they parted ways.

"What efficiency..." Jiang Cheng said.

"The efficiency of two people with nothing better to do." Pan Zhi scrolled through his phone. "But I do quite like her looks, at least not one of those venomous internet celeb faces."

"Is that so." Jiang Cheng thought for a moment. "I didn't notice."

"Of course, not just a girl, even if it was a handsome guy, in your current state, you probably wouldn't notice." Pan Zhi said. "Now I know what it's like when you're in a relationship."

Jiang Cheng glanced at Gu Fei walking ahead of them.

What was he like?

Pan Zhi also had moments of poor judgement. Although he still found Gu Fei so handsome today it made his liver tremble and he wanted to pounce and knead him all over, he felt stifled inside.

He realized Gu Fei had a side he didn't fully understand - this man could endure a lot. No matter what happened, Gu Fei could keep it down.

Maybe it was related to Gu Fei's life and upbringing, he had to handle many things this way and it had become a habit. But to him, facing this kind of situation, it was like being wrapped in a thick heavy quilt.

Stifling, suffocating, unable to breathe, powerless to struggle. Struggling didn't rip open any holes...

After the three ate lunch together, Gu Fei was going to head back. He still had to take Gu Miao to class in the afternoon.

"So we'll go shopping?" Pan Zhi said. "Jiang Cheng and I can wander around aimlessly for hours."

"Okay." Gu Fei smiled and nodded.  

Jiang Cheng didn't speak. Only after Pan Zhi walked away did he glance at Gu Fei. "Let's go."

"Dinner together tonight?" Gu Fei asked. "Wang Er Xian Bing?"

"We'll see." Jiang Cheng wasn't in the mood.

"Brother Cheng," Gu Fei looked at him. "I..."

"You should go." Jiang Cheng cut him off.

"Wait until Pan Zhi leaves." Gu Fei glanced at Pan Zhi. "I'll treat you to a nice meal."

"Shameless. Eating pan-friend buns when Pan Zhi's around, then a fancy meal after he leaves." Jiang Cheng eyed him sideways. "Shameless."

"Oh," Gu Fei laughed. "How about we eat a nice meal tonight? Or tomorrow before he leaves?"

"We'll see." Jiang Cheng replied.

"And we're back to this again," Gu Fei said. "Endless loop."

"Yeah, uncomfortable right?" Jiang Cheng looked at him.

Gu Fei didn't speak, just looked at him silently for a moment and sighed softly. "I've thought about it, since you first asked if I've considered having a boyfriend, I've been thinking about it."

Jiang Cheng was stunned for a moment, just looking at him without making a sound.

"Maybe more than you think. But this isn't something that can be explained clearly in a sentence or two, or with one answer." Gu Fei said softly. "Right?"

"I guess." Jiang Cheng was a bit confused.

It wasn't until Gu Fei left and he had wandered aimlessly with Pan Zhi for a good half day that he slowly came to his senses and frowned.

Gu Fei said he had thought more than Jiang Cheng expected, perhaps so. At least Jiang Cheng hadn't started thinking since asking "Have you ever thought about getting a boyfriend?"

At that time, it was only after Pan Zhi asked such a question that Jiang Cheng felt he should think about it carefully.

But what he wanted was an answer, he didn't need to explain it clearly. He just wanted that answer.

I think that in the future, I will still be with you no matter what, we will be together.

That's all.

Maybe it was because he was still following the usual line of thought, completely different from Gu Fei's perspective to think about the problem. What he wanted was the result, while Gu Fei was talking about the process.

But thinking further, with the result set, everything was working towards that result. But starting from the process, there could be countless results.

Jiang Cheng sighed lightly.

Gu Fei, you thought a lot, what did you think?

He and Pan Zhi strolled all the way to the downtown shopping plaza, eating and drinking along the way, and finally sat on the chairs in the mall and listened to songs for nearly an hour.

Opposite, a store had put out a self-service jukebox at the door. Jiang Cheng was surprised that people in this small broken city were still quite open-minded. In that hour, there were almost no breaks between people.

Some sang well, some sang so no one could hear, some were just reading the lyrics when they sang, and some were so out of tune that Jiang Cheng wanted to go over and turn off the power...

"Cheng'er, why don't you go sing one," Pan Zhi said, "Give them an eye-opener and let them know what singing is."

"I prefer to keep a low profile." Jiang Cheng hadn't sung for a long time. He used to sing with Pan Zhi and the others often, but in this kind of occasion, he still preferred to sit here and listen to people sing out of tune.

"Then I'll do one," Pan Zhi stood up and straightened his clothes, "Record it for me and I'll post it on Moments."

"...Your fourth grandpa just passed away. Can you not post something so cheerful?" Jiang Cheng said.

"I won't show it to Old Yuan anyway," Pan Zhi thought for a moment, "What should I sing?"

Without waiting for Jiang Cheng to answer, he had already walked over, saying as he went, "Red Sun. Let me see if there's an accelerated version."

Jiang Cheng laughed. They would choose this song almost every time they went to KTV, as the final ending, with everyone shouting together.

Pan Zhi was a good singer. Although his Cantonese pronunciation wasn't great, compared to those people before, he was like a professional singer. As soon as he opened his mouth, passersby immediately stopped.

Jiang Cheng held up his phone to record him.

Pan Zhi was going a little crazy with people watching. He sang with great enthusiasm. At the accelerated part at the end, he suddenly turned around, pointing at Jiang Cheng, "Fate may be turbulent, fate may be tortuous. Fate may threaten you that life is tasteless. Don't cry and be upset, let alone give up. I'm willing to accompany you forever..."

Everyone around immediately looked over. Jiang Cheng almost wanted to flip him off.

But after a few lines, Jiang Cheng suddenly felt his nose sour. He didn't know if it was because of the way Pan Zhi looked at him so seriously, or because he thought of those unbridled days in the past.

Or just because... he thought of Gu Fei.

He stared at the phone screen. When Pan Zhi finished singing, he quickly lowered his head and stood up, squeezing out from the crowd that was applauding.

When Pan Zhi caught up, he had regained his composure.

"How was it!" Pan Zhi put his arm around his shoulder, "Let me see the video."

"I recorded several clips," Jiang Cheng said as he tapped on his phone, "I'll send them to you to watch yourself."

"Should've known we shouldn't have wandered around today. We should've gone somewhere to sing," Pan Zhi said. "It's been a long time since we sang. Or... next year, after the exam, let's get a bunch of people together to travel or something, eat, drink, sing and have fun to our heart's content."

"Okay." Jiang Cheng smiled.

"I was thinking, there's no way I can get into the same school as you with my grades, but I'll get my parents to splurge to end up in the same city as you," Pan Zhi yawned and stretched, "I used to think that even if you left, I still had a bunch of friends. Now I realize it's not the case. I'm still most comfortable with you. When you're not around, I miss you..."

"Keep it in check," Jiang Cheng said. "You're still a straight man. Saying this makes people think you have ideas about me."

"My idea about you is that we can be best buddies for life," Pan Zhi said. "Boyfriends, wives, none of that compares to best buddies."

Jiang Cheng laughed. "Right."

"Don't laugh," Pan Zhi tsked. "It's just that I don't like men. Otherwise I wouldn't care about Gu Fei."

"Why don't you tell Gu Fei that." Jiang Cheng said.

"Forget it. You knowing is enough," Pan Zhi said. "I probably can't beat him."

After spending an afternoon with Pan Zhi and waiting for Gu Fei and Gu Miao to come over at Wang Xu's restaurant, Jiang Cheng was in a much better mood. Just listening to Wang Xu chatting nonsense with Pan Zhi made Jiang Cheng want to laugh. Wang Xu bragged unrestrainedly, even bragging about Yi Jing for a long time.

"Don't think you're all that just because you grew up in a big city," Wang Xu slapped the table looking at Pan Zhi. "Let me ask you, can you drink more than me?"

"...I can't drink more than you. I don't even want to drink," Pan Zhi looked at him. After a while, he sighed again, "F*ck me. Why did I lower my IQ to chat with you for so long?"

"Because your IQ was low to begin with. Just look at the girl you just posted on Moments," Wang Xu said as he took out his phone and scrolled through it. "I can tell your IQ is low and your taste isn't great either."

"Fine, fine, fine. I'm low, everything about me is low," Pan Zhi pressed Wang Xu's hand. "That girl, she can't compare to your class monitor. Really."

"Tsk, not sincere at all. You're still not convinced in your heart, right?" Wang Xu glared at him.

"I'm convinced. So, so convinced. Worshipping you with my entire body," Pan Zhi said, glancing at the door. "Oh, now this is a real beauty."

Wang Xu looked back. "Yes, exactly!"

Gu Miao walked in carrying her skateboard and went straight to sit next to Jiang Cheng. She put the skateboard against the chair, picked up the glass in front of him and finished the water in one gulp.

"Did you skate back?" Jiang Cheng took a tissue and wiped the sweat off Gu Miao's forehead.

Gu Miao nodded.

"Miao Miao, goddess?" Wang Xu pushed his cup over. "There's still water here."

Gu Miao looked at him without reacting.

"I didn't drink from it. It's clean." Wang Xu said.

Gu Miao still looked at him coldly.

Pan Zhi reached out and took the cup, pouring the water into Jiang Cheng's cup. Gu Miao took it and gulped it down in one breath again.

"Ah..." Pan Zhi couldn't stop laughing on the side.

"Er Miao, say thank you to the brothers." Gu Fei walked in and said.

Gu Miao stood up and bowed to them. Then she flipped up a hand, snapped her fingers at Jiang Cheng, and gave him a thumbs up.

Jiang Cheng immediately flipped a hand back at her.

Gu Fei greeted them, then went out to wash his hands. "Wang Xu, get Er Miao some wet wipes."

"Okay." Wang Xu immediately found some wet wipes for Gu Miao to wipe her hands.

Jiang Cheng watched her wipe her hands. Gu Miao seemed to be in a good mood today, she must have had fun this afternoon.

Pan Zhi, who had been sitting next to him, stood up and sat down next to Wang Xu. Wang Xu looked at him, "What, wanna compete in drinking with me?"

"...Do you need to compete in drinking just to eat pan-fried buns?" Pan Zhi was a little speechless.

"You look down on my family's pan-fried buns? Let me tell you! In our city, ask around, Wang Er Xian Bing..." Wang Xu was pumped up as soon as he started talking about his family's pan-fried buns. He glared at Pan Zhi and started boasting, as if he was a promotional ambassador.

When Gu Fei came in and saw the empty seat next to Jiang Cheng, he paused, glanced at Pan Zhi who was dragged into a helpless expression by Wang Xu, and sighed before interrupting, "Captain, we're all hungry. Let's eat first."

"We would have started eating if we weren't waiting for you! Waiting!" Wang Xu stood up and went to the kitchen.

Gu Fei sat down. Pan Zhi over there breathed a sigh of relief, "I really want to hit him."

Jiang Cheng laughed. Although he was still upset with Gu Fei, whenever he thought about it, all kinds of confusion and grievance came up. But when Gu Fei sat down next to him, and he smelled Gu Fei's familiar scent, his mood instantly improved.

When people conflict, it really makes no sense.

Gu Fei lowered his arm, reached under the table, and gently touched his leg. He glanced at Gu Fei, and Gu Fei smiled at him, then grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

Pan Zhi cleared his throat.

"What?" Gu Fei smiled and looked at him.

"Can't bear to watch," Pan Zhi said. "Gu Miao, let's go to the kitchen to get pan-fried buns, okay?"

Gu Miao looked at him holding her cup.

"Let's go get pan-fried buns?" Pan Zhi leaned over the table and asked again.

This time Gu Miao reacted, probably because she was hungry. She stood up and followed Pan Zhi to the kitchen, closing the door after they went out.

As soon as the door closed, Gu Fei turned and kissed Jiang Cheng on the cheek.

Jiang Cheng also swiftly moved in to bite Gu Fei's neck.

"Salty?" Gu Fei asked.

"Mm." Jiang Cheng drank some tea.

"Er Miao was really into the games today. I played with her for half a day and worked up a sweat." Gu Fei smiled.

With Gu Fei's smile like this, Gu Fei speaking to him softly like this, Jiang Cheng felt he had no right to complain. At times like this, he just wanted to stare at Gu Fei, stop thinking, stop worrying.

All the unpleasantness, anxiety, whatever whatever whatever, all tossed aside.

Until Pan Zhi's fourth grandfather's funeral was over and he left after the 2-day break, Jiang Cheng hadn't gone back to pondering those annoying questions.

After sending Pan Zhi off, he and Gu Fei rolled around in bed for a long time when they got back to the rental apartment, and those unpleasant, anxious feelings slowly resuscitated.

Like weeds that just won't die no matter how you try to kill them, popping up again if you don't pay attention.

Because the roots were still there after all.

Gu Fei lay on his side playing with his phone. Jiang Cheng hugged him from behind, "Hey."

"Hm?" Gu Fei stroked his arm.

"I'm gonna read for a bit. Stay with me, okay?" Jiang Cheng said. "Not going back tonight?"

"Okay." Gu Fei turned over to lie flat, pulling Jiang Cheng's arm onto himself.

"Do you want to... read some too?" Jiang Cheng asked.

"I'll copy homework first." Gu Fei smiled.  

"Gu Fei," Jiang Cheng was silent for a long time before asking softly, "Are you not planning to go to college?"

"If I do go, it would be the local trash colleges," Gu Fei said. "With my grades."

"Is it because of Er Miao?" Jiang Cheng asked.  

"Many issues," Gu Fei put his phone aside. "Er Miao can't adapt to a new environment. I can't just go somewhere else for college and not take care of her. Her and my mom, if I'm not around, it'll be a mess."

"Mm." Jiang Cheng nodded. He was very clear about all this. Gu Fei didn't need to explain it, Jiang Cheng could think of it all, and understand it all, but still felt something was off somehow. But no matter how he wracked his brains, he just couldn't figure out what exactly was off.

The two of them just laid there in silence, not speaking for a long time.  

"After I finish the exam and go off to school," Jiang Cheng said, "you'll still be here, right?"

"Mm," Gu Fei murmured in agreement.  

"Then what?" Jiang Cheng looked at him.

Gu Fei's brows furrowed slightly and he turned to face him. "I don't know what will happen. Some things just can't be..."

"What do you mean?" Jiang Cheng sat up. "Are you not confident in a long distance relationship?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Gu Fei also sat up. "What I mean is..."

"Gu Fei," Jiang Cheng interrupted him. "You asked me before if I wanted to date you or be in a relationship with you, right?"

"Mm," Gu Fei grabbed his hand.  

"I was wondering all this time why you asked that. Now I get it. I'm the one who wants to be in a relationship with you. The one who just wants to date," Jiang Cheng pulled his hand back and pointed at him, "is you."