As big as doing you.

Or as big as you doing me.

On the development of adolescent sexual awareness after its rise.  

Cut off the evil thoughts in your mind.  

Study well and make progress every day.

I wonder if long-term abstinence affects physical development.

......

Turn on/off the screen.  

Off.

"How big do you think?" Jiang Cheng looked at Gu Fei.

"Where?" Gu Fei glanced down, "About the same as mine."

"Tone it down." Jiang Cheng tutted.  

Gu Fei smiled and took two steps back, turning around and going back to the urinal. "Together?"

"I have to say," Jiang Cheng went over and stood side by side with him, both facing the wall, "With all those handsome guys and beauties you photographed before..."

"No." Gu Fei answered right away.

"What no, you're going to say you were shooting a lotus root portfolio?" Jiang Cheng said.

"I never got hard when I was taking photos of other people..." Gu Fei glanced towards the bathroom door, "before."

"F*ck, why don't I believe that," Jiang Cheng also glanced over there, "Just shooting me, for the first time...you'd get hard once with that ability. You'd have to be like those who get excited just from a little bump on the bus."

Gu Fei laughed at the wall for a while: "I'm not that kind of person, I need a specific target, like my boyfriend."

"Say it louder," Jiang Cheng glanced at him as he finished peeing and pulled up his zipper, "Are you having prostate problems standing here peeing for so long?"

"I didn't actually come here to pee," Gu Fei said, "Just peeing a little, so now I have to wait for it to go soft before I'm done."

"......I can't continue this conversation with you." Jiang Cheng turned on the faucet and started washing his hands.

"Don't wait for me, go get your makeup changed." Gu Fei said.

"I didn't say I was waiting for you either." Jiang Cheng looked at him and walked out of the bathroom.  

When Gu Fei walked out of the bathroom, he reminded himself in the mirror that he was at work now and shouldn't go overboard with shamelessness, or it would affect his income speed.

Jiang Cheng was half leaning against the chair back, letting the makeup artist work on his face, listlessly saying: "It's just changing lipstick, why do you have to redo my eyes too..."

"Of course different feelings need different makeup looks." The makeup artist explained with a smile.

"Ah..." Jiang Cheng sighed.

Gu Fei adjusted the light source a bit, and stood next to Jiang Cheng with his camera in hand.

"I'll smack you if you sneak shots of me again." Jiang Cheng said with his eyes closed.

"Hm?" Gu Fei looked at him through the lens, "You can tell I'm here?"

"Of course, felt a gust of wind just now." Jiang Cheng said.  

"Do you still remember, that summer, the moment the breeze blew by..." Gu Fei sang a line and clicked the shutter.

Jiang Cheng tutted.

"Didn't shoot you," Gu Fei said, "I shot Nini."

"Nini?" Jiang Cheng opened his eyes to a slit.

"Me," the makeup artist smiled, "sometimes he helps me take some work photos to post on Moments."

"Why don't you shoot me?" Jiang Cheng looked at him with both eyes open now.

"......Here we go." Gu Fei clicked the shutter at him again.

The second set of lipstick was bright red. Before the shoot, Jiang Cheng took a look in the mirror and froze again: "God, what is this?"

"This shade is our newest," the designer smiled, "aloof yet sexy, and a little seductive."

"I have to say," Jiang Cheng sighed, "all these concepts and copy you guys come up with, you never intended for people to understand them right? Anyway I'll just wing it, because I didn't get it."

Everyone laughed, and Nini pointed at Gu Fei: "He gets it."

"You understand it?" Jiang Cheng looked at him.

"I can guess more or less," Gu Fei lifted his camera towards him, "tilt your face to the right a bit...need a little more light on the right..."

Nini immediately went over to adjust the lighting.

"Look at me, not the lens," Gu Fei said, "put your fingers near your chin, find a pose you're comfortable with."

"Okay," Jiang Cheng responded and tilted his face slightly to the left, "look where?"

Gu Fei lowered his voice: "Look at your bite mark."

Jiang Cheng froze for a second, then smiled and glanced at his collarbone. Gu Fei quickly clicked the shutter.

Jiang Cheng's face shape and facial lines were especially suitable for contrasting light and shadows, clear and three-dimensional yet soft. The vibrant red stood out sharply against the strong black and white, giving a mysterious feel.

His fingers were also beautiful. Following Gu Fei's instructions, Jiang Cheng's fingers searched for suitable poses around his chin and mouth, but Gu Fei did not wait for him to settle on a final pose before shooting. Fingers moving, fingers nearing, fingers leaving, he kept clicking the shutter.

"Smudge the lipstick." The designer said after they shot for a while.

"How..." Jiang Cheng didn't understand.

"Like, press your finger to your lips," the designer demonstrated on her own mouth, "and pull down or to the side..."

Jiang Cheng looked at her, then turned his head and laughed after a few seconds, unable to stop laughing for a long time. Gu Fei clicked a series of shots.

"Don't laugh," the designer was also smiling now, "you get what I mean right? Just don't do it as silly as me."

"Got it," Jiang Cheng nodded with a smile, "actually you're not that silly."

"Can I deduct your pay?" The designer said.

"Don't," Jiang Cheng said, "you're beautiful."

Jiang Cheng understood what the designer meant. In fact this was not a particularly creative image, half of the photos touting individuality would use smudged lipstick.

But when Jiang Cheng lightly hooked his index finger on his lower lip and pulled down, Gu Fei still felt that the Jiang Cheng in the lens was completely different from those slutty cheap skanks, honestly, without the seductiveness the designer wanted, but with a sense of wildness instead.

Jiang Cheng's innate temperament could not be suppressed by any kind of clothing or makeup. The chaotic crimson still remained arrogant, his eyes still unruly.

"Wipe with the back of your hand too." The designer said, her voice revealing she was very satisfied despite the different feeling from what she wanted.

"The back of my hand?" Jiang Cheng looked at the back of his own hand, hesitated for a moment, then casually wiped his mouth with it in a very casual motion.

Gu Fei felt Jiang Cheng's inspiration for this move probably came from country folks using their hands to wipe their mouths after a meal without paper, but the few shots he snapped with Jiang Cheng's hand about to leave or just leaving his mouth were unexpectedly stylish.

"Let's do a full body too," the designer said, "just the guard dog pose is fine."

"What dog?" Jiang Cheng froze again.

"Is this outfit okay for full body?" Gu Fei asked. Since today's shoot was for facial closeups, Jiang Cheng was wearing his own clothes, a black tee and khaki casual pants.

"Yes," the designer nodded, "high contrast."

"You've done it before in previous shoots, just standing straight with arms hanging down, no other movement needed," Gu Fei said as he changed lenses, "that's the guard dog."

"......I thought I had to squat." Jiang Cheng let his arms hang down.

"You can squat too if you want," Gu Fei laughed, "stick out your tongue."

"Piss off." Jiang Cheng said.

"Don't turn your head, relax your shoulders." Gu Fei changed lenses and lifted his camera again, shooting a few photos.

A teenager and his defiant arrogance.

Great.

The shoot lasted two afternoons total. Jiang Cheng felt modeling was quite tiring, just these two afternoons and his lips almost cracked.

When changing makeup looks the last time, Gu Fei stepped out and bought him some lip balm.

"Put this on later when you're done." Gu Fei said.

"Oh," Jiang Cheng took it and looked at it, "does it have color?"

"......What color do you want? I'll buy it for you." Gu Fei said.  

"Piss off." Jiang Cheng pointed at him.

Gu Fei just smiled. He was about to say something when the studio door opened.

Jiang Cheng glanced over. The fat sister had only come by twice these past couple days, and occasionally it was just staff coming in, but the person standing in the doorway was not the fat sister, and didn't look like staff based on clothing.

The person standing at the door was a man in his late twenties, wearing well-fitted pants and a shirt with sleeves rolled up, looking casual yet not too casual.

With one eye, Jiang Cheng glanced at Gu Fei, originally wanting to see if Gu Fei would introduce who it was, but when he looked over he saw Gu Fei's expression had already darkened.

He hadn't seen Gu Fei make this kind of seemingly unhappy expression in a long time.

"What a coincidence." The young man nodded at Gu Fei.

Gu Fei responded very perfunctorily. If they weren't standing so close, Jiang Cheng wouldn't have been able to tell if he responded or just huffed.

"Ran into Sister Tang at tea yesterday, she said you were here these couple days," the young man didn't seem to mind Gu Fei's attitude too much, "I was passing by today so dropped in to take a look."

"Oh." Gu Fei sat down on a chair by the side with his camera, head lowered fiddling with the lens, with no intention of continuing the conversation.

The young man stood at the doorway for a short while. After greeting the designer and Nini, he went and sat down next to Gu Fei.

Jiang Cheng only heard Nini call this person Brother Lin, nothing else. This Brother Lin sat down beside Gu Fei at a bit of a distance, and spoke too softly for Jiang Cheng to make out what was said.

Jiang Cheng strained to listen for a long time, but couldn't catch a single sentence. He could only see Gu Fei kept his head lowered fiddling with the camera, seemingly not chatting, while Brother Lin intermittently said a couple sentences then fell silent, leaning against the chair back watching this side.

So he withdrew his gaze.

Of Gu Fei's friends, he only knew Li Yan, Liu Fan and those few, plus Ding Zhuxin. He hadn't heard Gu Fei mention this Brother Lin at all, so they shouldn't be very close.

But Gu Fei's change in attitude when seeing him was quite obvious, unlike with someone not close.

Jiang Cheng suddenly felt a bit off.

Who the f*ck was this!

What f*cking relationship did he have with Gu Fei!

Why the f*ck was he still sitting there not leaving!

What the f*ck was he looking at!

Previously when Jiang Cheng got jealous it was mostly for fun, forced jealousy. But the sourness in his heart now was real and true.

It was like he had just gotten a fiery torch tattooed on his butt, burning him to the point he almost couldn't resist the urge to walk over and ask what was up.

But after the shoot started, Brother Lin watched for a few minutes then left.

Jiang Cheng stared at Gu Fei for a while, trying to analyze. From the time Gu Fei picked up the camera and pointed it at him, that uncomfortable feeling disappeared.

He analyzed for a long time but didn't figure anything out.

"Xiao Jiang, this state is great," the designer praised from the side, "just a little...impatient? Or..."

"Angry." Gu Fei said.

"Right, just very pissed off," the designer nodded, "this state is perfect."

Jiang Cheng side-eyed Gu Fei. Bastard, so you noticed.

"What did Brother Lin come for?" Gu Fei asked the designer, "Does Sister Tang have projects with him?"

"I think so, Sister Tang wants him to host a small launch event," the designer said, "still discussing."

"Oh." Gu Fei glanced at Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng returned his glance, knowing these words were asked for his benefit, to let him know this Brother Lin had a closer relationship with Fat Sister.

But.

That didn't explain Gu Fei's change when seeing that person.

You little bastard, nothing can be hidden from us top students, we top students aren't near sighted!

After the shoot, Nini helped Jiang Cheng remove his makeup. Gu Fei walked out of the studio.

When Jiang Cheng came out rubbing lip balm vigorously after finishing up, Gu Fei was leaning against the wall outside smoking.

"Done?" Gu Fei asked when he saw him come out.

"Yep." Jiang Cheng nodded.

"Can get the remaining half of the payment tomorrow morning." Gu Fei said.

"Okay." Jiang Cheng put the lip balm in his pocket. He felt quite tired, not sure if he was hungry or not.

Gu Fei didn't bring up Brother Lin. He actually wanted to ask, but was hesitant about whether or not he should. Gu Fei was clearly unhappy seeing that person earlier, if he asked, it might make Gu Fei even more unhappy.

But not asking would be too deliberate.

"Go eat cold noodles?" Gu Fei asked.

"Sure." Jiang Cheng answered.

After getting in the cab, as they got out he still asked: "Is that Brother Lin your friend?"

"Not really friends I guess," Gu Fei answered without hesitation, "acquaintance."

"Oh." Jiang Cheng didn't know how to continue asking.

"From before...when I was in a band," Gu Fei frowned a little, "got to know him then."

"I see," Jiang Cheng saw his frown, "so pretty long ago."

"Yeah," Gu Fei nodded, "I've no contact with him now really, just that he has a studio and they use his models a lot when I shoot, we run into each other sometimes."

"Got it." Jiang Cheng rubbed his nose, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, like he was being nonsensically jealous over nothing.

Although he still didn't know why Gu Fei reacted that way to someone he just knew, he didn't really want to find out anymore. Gu Fei's tone indicated he didn't want to elaborate, so pushing further would just make both of them unhappy, and with his level of tact as a top student, pursuing it would seem petty.

After all, trust is fundamental in a relationship.

After eating the cold noodles, Gu Fei originally wanted to go to the rental room and keep him company while studying, but halfway there he got a call from his mom saying Gu Miao was throwing a tantrum at home and couldn't be placated.

"Go back," Jiang Cheng said, "is she unhappy you haven't been home for meals the past couple days?"

"No," Gu Fei sighed, "she has a little blanket she insists on holding everyday, and it's gotten smelly. I washed it yesterday..."

"Just hang it dry and give it back?" Jiang Cheng asked.

"The smell is different after washing, it has detergent smell now," Gu Fei said, "she threw a fit about it this morning, probably thought of it again just now."

"Then hurry back," the thought of Gu Miao's screams made Jiang Cheng feel uneasy, "coax her well. Or...wrap yourself in it, go for a run, do some pushups or pullups, work up a sweat and make it stinky."

Gu Fei smiled: "Okay, I'll try."

After saying goodnight at the intersection, Jiang Cheng stood in place watching Gu Fei's back. Probably worried about Gu Miao, Gu Fei didn't look back today, walking towards home quickly.

Jiang Cheng had intended to casually watch for a bit before heading back too. He still had homework to do, and many practice problems he wanted to work on, but all the talk of running, pushups, muscular lines, heaving, tensing, relaxing...suddenly turned dirty as he watched Gu Fei's back.

Jiang Cheng swiftly rolled his eyeballs towards the tip of his nose, although as a model student he already knew eye on nose, nose on heart* didn't actually mean staring at your own nose, childhood misunderstandings often persist into adulthood...

*T/N: Describes gathering your spirit and finding inner calm.

Just as his eyeballs aligned, in his peripheral vision he saw Gu Fei in front turn back.

He immediately rolled his eyeballs apart again, looking ahead. Gu Fei raised his arm, making a sniper posture aimed this way.

"Dumbass." As soon as Jiang Cheng said it, he took a step back with his right leg, raising his arm in an archer's draw.

After finishing the stupid farewell ritual, Gu Fei turned and jogged away. Jiang Cheng stretched lazily and sauntered back to his rented apartment.

Finals were coming up soon. After midterms ended, Jiang Cheng had declared that he would beat the second top score by a hundred points. Although this kind of talk should also fall under boasting, it was achievable boasting for him. He generally didn't boast about things he couldn't achieve, because if he did boast, he would strive desperately to attain it.

After finishing his homework with Gu Fei on his mind, he went to take a shower, changed into his pajamas, and leaned against the bed with his workbook in hand to start writing.

This way he could sleep or wake up anytime. This was always his state of being when reviewing before exams, and he would never claim like other study gods that he had been up gaming all night when someone marveled at his grades. He would just directly say, "I haven't had a good night's sleep in half a month."

I do well on exams because I can endure more than you, that's the coolest feeling.

Tsk tsk tsk.

Jiang Cheng smiled at the workbook, grabbed a notebook, took the pen Pan Zhi had given him, and started reviewing.

His mind kept turning. Even though the state of "sleepiness" would not appear at all, he would still fall asleep.

In the past he would also fall asleep while reviewing, then wake up again after about twenty minutes, and today was the same. But the way he woke up was a little different this time.

He was startled awake by a nightmare.

"He wants me to die!" Li Baoguo shouted.

When Jiang Cheng woke up, he instantly felt his breathing was chaotic, his heartbeat was a little arrhythmic. He stared at the pen in his hand for a very long time before he slowly calmed down.

He had always thought he had successfully sealed away Li Baoguo and his death, that it would no longer interfere with his life. And he had indeed returned to his former state recently. But he didn't expect to face this scene again when he was completely unprepared.

He closed his eyes, lightly pinched his eyebrows with the fingers of his left hand, and spun the pen quickly in his right hand for a very long time before slowly letting out a long breath and switching to an English workbook to start working on it.

The next morning when he got up, he realized there were ink splatters from his frantic pen spinning all over the sheets, pillows, and even his pajamas.

"Fuck," he jumped out of bed and went into the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, at the ink dots on his face, he stared for a while, then bounced twice in front of the mirror, pinching his throat, "Oh I'm so handsome!"

Then he picked up his toothbrush and started brushing his teeth.

A night of dreamless sleep put him in a good mood. A few ink splatters was no big deal, even if he had poured a whole bottle of ink on the bed, it wouldn't be a big deal.

"Contestant Jiang Cheng looks quite spirited," he said as he washed his face and changed clothes, "Yes, he doesn't look like someone who was up all night studying... But will a long time without practicing affect the performance of this slingshot contestant? I heard he gave his most skilled slingshot to a mysterious boyfriend?"

Jiang Cheng texted Gu Fei, are you up yet?

The mysterious boyfriend texted back five minutes later.

- Sleepy

- Then go back to sleep, I'm going to school

- Lunch

- Ok

When the mysterious boyfriend uses this kind of extremely simple response, it's usually when he's too sleepy.

"Any skill requires practice, but for a gifted contestant like this," Jiang Cheng said as he grabbed his bag, changed shoes, and went out the door, "we don't need to worry."

On the way from the rental apartment to school, he would pass Gu Fei's shop. It wasn't open yet this early, and as he rode by on his bike he glanced at the locked shop door, feeling an inexplicable warm fuzziness in his heart.

It's magical, when you like someone, everything related to them turns into a fuzzball.

He was very familiar with this road, he could ride it with his eyes closed and know what was passing by. All kinds of shops, shabby ones, newly renovated ones, country bumpkin ones, forced poser ones, true to myself ones, were still closed now, giving a feeling that was both familiar yet strange.

Interesting, Jiang Cheng made a sharp turn with the wind.

After riding a short way forward, a dilapidated lightbox entered the corner of his eye.

He couldn't help raising an eyebrow. He quickly turned to look and then quickly turned back to stare ahead.

Adult.

Products.

Fuck! How did I never notice this shop here before?

He quickly looked back again, then quickly turned to stare ahead again.

Fuck! My eyes didn't deceive me.

People are really like this, they see what's on their minds... As a newly grown sensual youth...

How big?

How big?

It's probably big enough that I should go browse around.

But... Jiang Cheng looked back again. Fuck this shop looks too crappy! It gives the feeling that the boss has sabotaged all the condoms inside.

"Watch the road!" someone nearby yelled loudly.

"Oh!" Jiang Cheng squeezed the brakes. "Sorry!"

"What are you looking at, don't you know you could crash into a tree if you turn your head." The uncle said.

What am I looking at!

Contestant Jiang Cheng what are you looking at!

Can you not act so thirsty!