A person who would swallow his own teeth with blood and never bow his head in submission, yet in his moment of greatest pain, he would grab his hand and call his name. No one could resist such a rare and moving sight, not even Emperor Cangze.
Even though he had only called out 'Emperor' and had not cried out in hardship or pain, it was enough to churn Emperor Cangze's compassionate heart into a vast ocean.
"It's all right, I'm here." He squeezed Chi Lian's limp and feeble fingers and brushed the sweat-soaked hair at his temples behind his ear. "Does it still hurt now?"
Chi Lian exhaled a long breath in exhaustion and shook his head lightly. He probably hadn't recovered from the intense pain yet, as he called out again, "Emperor."
"It was my oversight." The Emperor cupped his cheek in his palm. "I didn't expect the medicine's effects to be so potent. I should have proceeded more gradually. If I had been more cautious, you wouldn't have had to suffer this pain for nothing."
"That's not it." Chi Lian's voice was faint, and he had to take three breaths to finish a single sentence, yet he still stubbornly refuted, "If the Emperor hadn't been here, I might have run into a wall to end my life just now... What treatment comes without suffering? The Emperor did nothing wrong..."
Just two days ago, he would draw his sword at the slightest sound, yet now, even while on the verge of fainting from pain, he didn't forget to make excuses for him. The Emperor felt dazed, as if he had found a sweet comfort. His heart was soothed, yet also grew more tender. But seeing that his sentences were broken and his mind was weary, he knew it was best not to tax his energy further. He tapped his forehead and said softly, "What a sweet-talker you are, little Immortal Lord. In that case, how about I accompany you every day from now on to apply your medicine and heal your wounds?""
Chi Lian's eyes were closed, and upon hearing this, the corners of his lips curved up. "Okay."
The Emperor's left hand brushed lightly past his temple, and a faint blue spiritual light flickered. Chi Lian felt his eyelids grow heavy. Hearing him say "Sleep," and knowing in his heart that the Emperor was watching over him, he finally dared to let his consciousness drift into the ethereal abyss, gradually falling into a deep sleep under the spell's influence.
From that day on, the Emperor indeed did not go back on his word, personally taking on the heavy responsibility of healing Chi Lian's wounds. However, the Ran Dragon poison was vicious, and even with Dragon's Gall in the medicine, the healing process was as slow as drawing out a silk thread. At first, the Emperor had Immortal Lord Mingshu come and check on Chi Lian every few days. But later, because he had to accompany him to apply the medicine and stop the pain, and because Chi Lian couldn't see and would subconsciously reach for his sword at the slightest disturbance, being so constantly jumpy was mentally taxing. So, he decided that even Immortal Lord Mingshu no longer needed to come. Only the Emperor himself could enter and leave the room.
He hung a White Jade Bell in the corner of Chi Lian's bed-curtains. Whenever he arrived, there was no need for an announcement, as the bell would ring on its own without any wind. If Chi Lian needed him, he only had to shake the bell, and before long, the Emperor would come to see him.
In Jiangxiao Palace, Chi Lian was oblivious to the world outside, consuming immortal pills and spiritual medicines like daily meals. Emperor Cangze personally cared for him without an intermediary. Nurtured with such meticulous care, it still took a full two months before he showed any signs of improvement.
It was only then that he belatedly realized he had been dragged back from the Ghost Gate Pass by the Emperor himself. No other deity would have possibly shown so much tolerance and patience for a mere, insignificant Immortal Attendant.
The day the Ran Dragon poison was completely eradicated, Chi Lian was finally permitted to open his eyes and get out of bed. In truth, for the past few days, his eyes could already vaguely sense the changes in light and shadow outside, but the Emperor was strict, fearing he might be left with a chronic ailment, and had carefully kept his eyes blindfolded. As a result, when the time came to open his eyes, he couldn't stop the anxiety in his heart, afraid that the light seeping through his eyelids was just an illusion, and that once he opened them, all he would see was the endless, dark void.
He sat on the edge of the bed, his head tilted slightly up, and felt the Emperor's sleeve brush past his ear as his fingers deftly untied the satin ribbon covering his eyes. Immediately after, that familiar presence suddenly moved away. Chi Lian subconsciously kept his eyes closed and reached out to grab him, but grasped only air. He panicked at once. "Emperor?"
"I am here." The Emperor had retreated a few steps away. His voice was calm and composed, carrying a gentle, reassuring tone. "You can open your eyes now. Don't rush, take it slow. Raise your head and look at me."
Thick, long lashes trembled and fluttered. Those beautifully shaped eyes finally lifted slowly, revealing their original bright, clear splendor. The corners of his eyes tilted upwards, his pupils a faint brown, resembling flowing amber in the faint light of the luminous pearls, clearly reflecting the Emperor's figure not far away.
At first, he could only see blurry, swaying blocks of color. Gradually, his vision focused, going from scattered to clear. Although a spell blocked the daylight from outside the windows, leaving only the soft, hazy glow of luminous pearls on the walls, like a veil of gauze, it was enough for him to clearly see the tall and graceful Emperor Cangze. It was just like their first meeting by the Ice Heart Pond, a handsome deity with a graceful bearing, his reflection cast upon the water, reaching out a hand towards the budding Red Lotus by the Green Jade Bridge, guiding him to shed his mortal form of grass and wood and henceforth enter the magnificent and resplendent Immortal Land of Yujing.
"Emperor..."
The Emperor, a person so tall and dignified that even the hem of his robes wouldn't flutter when he walked, now bent down slightly, his hands held out flat as if guiding a small child to walk, ready to catch him at any moment. He said with a smile, "Don't be afraid. Come here, come to me."
Chi Lian stared at him without blinking, as if afraid he would lose sight of him in an instant. He supported himself on the edge of the bed and slowly stood up. Having not used his eyes for so long, he wasn't used to it at first. His first step was wobbly. His ankles were already slender, and standing barefoot on the soft carpet, he couldn't even keep his balance. He looked like he was about to fall, but miraculously, he steadied himself. With the second step, he gradually regained his sense of balance. For the last few steps, he didn't even bother to look, practically running and stumbling into the Emperor's arms.
The Emperor's wait had not been in vain. He steadily opened his arms and caught him in a full embrace. He could feel Chi Lian clinging to him with extreme fondness, his two shoulder blades like wings about to take flight, so thin they were sharper to the touch than his old sword.
For two months, he had endured endless torment for his treatment, and even when the pain was unbearable, he would only squeeze his hand. Chi Lian had always been so tough, as if he held some deep-seated grudge against himself. But now, as if he had reached the end of his road, he finally, in defeat, shed his armor and his defenses, burying himself wordlessly beneath the Emperor's wing.
If only this could be his destination.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. A beautiful dream will eventually fade. No matter how much he yearned for it, what did not belong to him was useless to cling to.
Through the thin layer of clothing, the Emperor felt Chi Lian's slightly trembling back. 'Two months,' he thought, 'and I've finally managed to nurture this lotus, once clamped tighter than a clam, until it opened. He's learned to be affectionate and is willing to be held. If he stays by my side from now on, carefree, and I teach him well for a few decades, with his talent and aptitude, he won't even need to reach a hundred years of age to surely become the most outstanding among the young Immortal Lords.'
A low sniffle reached his ears. The Emperor, who had been stroking his scattered long hair, lifted Chi Lian's face and gently wiped beneath his eye with his thumb, whispering a warning, "You can't cry. Be careful not to hurt your eyes."
Chi Lian didn't dare to look at him at all, hiding from his hand by burying his face in the crook of the Emperor's neck. "I'm not crying."
The Emperor smiled silently, considerate enough not to expose his lie. He lifted him from the ground in that same position and placed him back on the bed. "Although your vision is fine now, you still can't overuse your eyes, lest the injury relapses. In another two days, once you've fully adjusted, I'll let you go out and play."
Chi Lian's fingers, resting on his back, suddenly curled and tightened into a fist. Then, he forced himself with sheer willpower to let go, leaving the Emperor's embrace.
He looked up at the Emperor, the rims of his eyes still red, yet his expression was calm and open. When he looked at someone like that, his gaze overflowed with the kind of reverence one holds for a priceless treasure. Few could withstand such a gaze; not only would they feel as if they had received his lifelong affection, but they would even be tempted to cover his eyes, to prevent him from looking at anyone else.
"Thank you, Emperor."
The Emperor raised a hand and covered his eyes, saying lightly, "There is no need for thanks."
Although Chi Lian dreaded the arrival of that day, he could not avoid the reality that he would eventually have to leave Jiangxiao Palace. He was the type of person who, the more he feared something, the more he had to face it head-on. To have been able to spend two peaceful and calm months under the Emperor's care and to have had his life saved in the process was already a blessing from the heavens. If he were to cry and cling to him when it was time to part, it would be far too unsightly.
He repeatedly warned himself not to harbor any delusional thoughts. After a few more days of peaceful recuperation, the moment finally arrived when even the Emperor could find no trace of hidden injuries or ailments. Chi Lian knew it was time for him to go back.
He could, of course, ask the Emperor to let him stay in Jiangxiao Palace, but he also knew that the Emperor had saved his life not because he was lacking an attendant to sweep the courtyards. He had to work harder than anyone else, to stand before the Emperor, upright and indomitable, before he would be qualified to even speak of repaying him.
And so, on this day, when the Emperor came from the main hall to the side room, entering the door to the crisp sound of the bell, he saw that the bed was tidily made. Chi Lian was sitting properly at the small table and happened to look up just as he heard him enter.
His only personal belonging was an old sword; he didn't even have enough to make a bundle. The Emperor stopped at the doorway and asked, not at all surprised, "What is this?"
Chi Lian rose and gave him a deep, respectful bow. "For these past few months, I have been fortunate to receive the Emperor's shelter and treatment, which has mercifully saved my life. I have no way to repay this grace of rebirth. Now that my injuries are healed, I should return as soon as possible and not linger in Jiangxiao Palace any longer, causing more trouble for the Emperor."
"The Emperor's great kindness is engraved in my heart. Even if my body were shattered to pieces, it would be difficult to repay. If there is ever a day I can be of use, Chi Lian is willing to serve the Emperor to the death."
The Emperor was noncommittal. "Where will you return to? Xuanjian Pavilion?"
Chi Lian lowered his head and answered, "Yes."
"And what else?" The Emperor did not ask him to stay. In fact, his posture seemed even more relaxed than before as he looked at him and asked, "Is this all you wanted to say to me?"
The room was silent.
Chi Lian lowered his gaze to his own toes, repeatedly chanting to himself not to overstep his bounds. But perhaps it was because this room was too familiar and too safe for him, and he had truly been spoiled by the Emperor into weakness. In the end, he couldn't hold back. Like a weary bird returning to the forest, he rushed forward and threw his arms around the Emperor.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry..." He pressed against the Emperor's shoulder, accepted into that embrace as always, but it only made him feel more miserable. He murmured, "It is my greed. I have offended the Emperor..."
Enough.
He told himself, if he kept clinging like this, he would truly be ungrateful.
It took the determination of severing his own wrist for him to lift his head from the Emperor's shoulder. He then tried to take a step back... but failed to break free from the Emperor's embrace.
Chi Lian: ?
The Emperor stood as firm as a mountain, one arm around his waist. It was so effortless it seemed he wasn't using any strength at all, yet it was enough to keep him from moving a single step. He bent a finger and lightly scraped at the tear tracks on his face. "You're already this aggrieved, yet you still refuse to say a single soft word. You might as well donate that mouth of yours to White Jade Capital to serve as its city gate."
Chi Lian: "..."
He still hadn't understood why the Emperor was mocking him, his face a mask of utter confusion, when he saw the Emperor smile and ask, "When did I ever say you could leave?"
"Immortal Lord Chi Lian, the most important thing about being a deity is not self-awareness, but paying your debts. You think you can just get away with a casual 'I have no way to repay this great kindness'? Who are you trying to dismiss?" Seeing his clueless look, which was at once adorable, pitiful, and infuriating, the Emperor pinched his chin and gave it a little shake, lecturing him from above. "Your food and living expenses for these past two months, the immortal pills and spiritual medicines, the Dragon's Gall I personally retrieved from Lizhou of the North Sea, the favor I called in at Yixia Palace for refining the medicine... you couldn't repay it even if I sold you. That's not to mention I've been tirelessly taking care of you all these days. And you think you can just pat yourself off and return to Xuanjian Pavilion? Dream on."
Chi Lian: "Ah?"
"I advise you to give up those ideas at once. For the next three hundred years, you will stay obediently in Jiangxiao Palace for me. You'll do whatever I tell you to do. Repaying kindness can't be done with just words." The Emperor produced a soft cloth from nowhere and lightly draped it over Chi Lian's face. While the other couldn't see, he also took the opportunity to tap him on the forehead. "It's perfect, you've already packed your things. Wipe your tears and follow me to the back to pick out a woodshed for your bedroll."
Hi, I'm Kai! I'm just a huge danmei fan who started translating because I was desperate to share my favorite stories with others. My main goal is to capture all the feelings and heart-stopping moments that make these novels so special. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. (´。• ᵕ •。`)
Give me feedback at moc.ebircssutol@iak.