Xi Nian hadn't dreamed for a very long time. It's said that dreams reflect one's deepest regrets, but he didn't know what he had to regret. So when he found himself in a familiar and luxuriously decorated suite, Xi Nian was still confused.

He looked at the furnishings around him and realized it was the place where he had died in his past life. He couldn't help but freeze for a moment. When he looked up again, he saw a man sitting quietly in front of the computer. His face was handsome and sullen—it was unmistakably himself.

It was him, but it also wasn't like him.

Xi Nian never knew he could be so lifeless, like a corpse on the verge of decay.

His current state was like an ethereal soul, unable to touch anything. He could only surmise from the scene that this was a moment from his past life before his death. In a few minutes, Lu Xingzhe would probably rush over, get angered and leave, and then he himself would jump from here.

Thinking of this, Xi Nian couldn't help but feel that he had been too useless in his past life. It was such a small matter, was it really worth ending his life over? It seemed that being too proud wasn't a good thing.

Revisiting the old place, his mood was inevitably complex. Xi Nian stood to the side, watching the other "himself" at the computer desk repeatedly scrolling through the negative news online. The mouse clicks grew faster and faster; he was clearly on the verge of a breakdown.

Xi Nian was like an outsider, silently commenting on the scene.

One wrong step leads to many. There was truth in that saying. In his past life, suppressing his rivals had become the norm for him. If there was dirt, he would expose it. If there was no dirt, he would fabricate it. Now that all those unscrupulous deeds were suddenly brought to light, it would be a wonder if his rivals' fans didn't tear him apart alive. He had clearly become a public enemy to the entire internet.

Before long, the outer door was opened. Lu Xingzhe walked in with a limp. The scene replayed, the dialogue identical to his past life.

"You did this?"

"Why? Because I held a grudge and wanted to get back at you for kicking me aside after you were done using me?"

Lu Xingzhe let out a low laugh, unable to even straighten his back. He held that posture for a long time without moving. In his past life, Xi Nian had only found him arrogant and detestable. Now, he slowly leaned in and looked at his lowered head, only to see that Lu Xingzhe's eyes were bloodshot, the unshed tears in them obvious.

'Why is he crying...'

Xi Nian didn't understand. He silently reached out, wanting to wipe away his tears, but his hand passed straight through Lu Xingzhe's body, unable to grasp anything.

But in the end, that tear never fell.

Then Xi Nian watched as "himself," as if his sore spot had been poked, grabbed Lu Xingzhe by the collar and slammed him against the wall. "It really was you?!"

In his past life, Xi Nian thought it was. Now, he thought it wasn't.

But Lu Xingzhe refused to back down. "It was me."

His eyes held their usual mocking and triumphant look, as if he were determined to drag the person before him to Hell with him. Even though his face had turned pale from being choked, his tone didn't soften in the slightest as he said with a smile, word by word, "It was me."

"Don't you want to be a big star the most? Don't you care about your future the most? Don't you dream of getting rid of me? I refuse to let you have your way..."

They could always accurately find each other's sore spots and deliver the fatal blow, leaving them both covered in scars.

Xi Nian couldn't bear to watch the next scene.

Lu Xingzhe was forcibly pushed down onto the sofa, his face pale, like a broken rag doll. The "Xi Nian" of the past life impassively pressed down hard on his crippled left leg, causing him to turn deathly pale with pain and tremble all over, his body curling into a ball. And his words were utterly humiliating: "Weren't you always so eager before? What are you pretending for now?"

For the first time, Xi Nian felt that dreaming was such a terrible thing. He wanted to wake up quickly, but even after closing his eyes and counting for several hundred seconds, the dream still didn't end, not even after Lu Xingzhe had limped out of the room.

Xi Nian had no hobby of rewatching his own death. He chose to follow behind Lu Xingzhe.

The dream was too real; he could even feel the cold autumn wind blowing against his face.

After leaving the room, Lu Xingzhe didn't leave immediately. He leaned against the wall, his body slowly sliding to the floor. He clutched his left leg and didn't move for a long while. He fumbled in his pocket for painkillers and took two with a pale face. Only then did he get back up and limp into the elevator.

He had never shown weakness in front of Xi Nian. Even taking medicine was something he only did in secret.

Several times, Xi Nian uncontrollably wanted to help him up, but his hand only passed ethereally through the other's body. He pursed his lips silently and could only continue following behind, once again feeling that this dream was terrible.

Downstairs, a shifty-eyed man was waiting for Lu Xingzhe. It was Hong Biao, who had worked as a paparazzi with him. Seeing him come out, he leaned against his car door and said irritably, "I told you not to go looking for trouble. How was it? Got the cold shoulder, didn't you?"

Lu Xingzhe didn't speak. Just walking out of that door seemed to have drained all his energy. He limped a few steps, steadied himself against a pillar, and slowly sat down on the stone steps by the roadside. With his head down, he expressionlessly lit a cigarette. As he lit it, his fingertips were still trembling slightly.

Hong Biao squatted beside him. "I found out what you asked me to investigate. But hey, Xi Nian brought this on himself. You should just stay out of it."

Hearing this, Lu Xingzhe finally moved. He turned his head a beat too slow to look at him, his eyes dark and deep, his face devoid of any color.

Hong Biao felt a chill run down his spine from that look and unconsciously rubbed the back of his neck. "Don't look at me like that. It's no use looking at me. Xi Nian is too ruthless. Several of Chuangxing's artists were ruined by his dirt-digging. You think their upper management would just sit back and do nothing? His own hands weren't clean to begin with. They just had someone tail him for a few days and got all the leverage they needed."

After speaking, he pointed at Lu Xingzhe with disappointment. "You're sick in the head too. You smeared whoever Xi Nian told you to smear. Now that it's all been exposed, who knows how many people are waiting to get even with you."

Listening from the side, Xi Nian couldn't help but close his eyes. For an instant, his face was frighteningly pale.

Lu Xingzhe showed no reaction. He said "thank you" in a voice devoid of emotion, didn't even finish his cigarette, and then staggered up from the ground.

Hong Biao said, "Hey, where are you going? Take my car."

Lu Xingzhe ignored him and limped towards the street. His back looked frail and thin, like a homeless, wandering ghost. Xi Nian followed behind, not leaving his side for a moment.

He hadn't taken two steps when the sound of a heavy object hitting the ground suddenly rang out from behind him—a dull, desperate thud. It was immediately followed by a chorus of startled cries from the surrounding crowd, as if something terrible had happened.

Lu Xingzhe froze in his tracks.

Xi Nian's body stiffened, his breath catching for a moment before gradually returning to normal. He reached out from behind, covered Lu Xingzhe's eyes, and then said in a low voice, "Don't turn back."

Xi Nian said, "Don't turn back..."

His hand was shaking, his throat too tight to make a sound. Piercing police sirens wailed in the distance, interspersed with the sound of an ambulance. The surroundings were in chaos.

As if to drown out the chaotic sounds, Xi Nian started talking to Lu Xingzhe. "The rumor with Qiao Zhi was fake. I lied to you. Aren't you usually so smart? How could you believe it..."

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just angry. I thought you had really given up on me..."

"Lu Xingzhe, does your leg hurt a lot..."

"Lu Xingzhe..."

Xi Nian's tone was stiff, his voice suddenly laced with a hint of imperceptible numbness. "Don't turn back..."

Don't turn back.

Such a terrible person isn't worth a second glance, even in death.

However, no one could hear what he was saying. Lu Xingzhe paused, then turned around as if sensing something. Afraid he would see, Xi Nian panicked and suddenly tightened his grip, but his fingers passed straight through his body. The next moment, his mind jolted, and he woke up from his dream.

Xi Nian sat up in bed as if electrocuted. After realizing the dream was over, his first reaction was to search for Lu Xingzhe. However, he felt nothing but empty space beside him. Just as he was about to get out of bed to look, he saw a person sitting at the foot of the bed.

Lu Xingzhe had his back to him. For some reason, he maintained that posture for a long time without moving, staring at the floor as if in a daze.

Xi Nian's heart finally settled back into place. He grabbed Lu Xingzhe's arm, about to say something, but the other man reacted strongly, seizing his wrist with a swift force that felt like it would crush his bones.

Xi Nian's pupils contracted slightly. He called out tentatively, "Lu Xingzhe."

Hearing him, Lu Xingzhe paused slightly, as if he had finally come to his senses, and slowly let him go.

Xi Nian asked, "What's wrong?"

Lu Xingzhe looked at him quietly for a moment, then looked away again. He silently ran a hand through his hair, looking somewhat agitated. "Nothing. Just had a dream."

Xi Nian wanted to say that he had also had a dream but didn't. He hugged Lu Xingzhe from behind and slowly tightened his arms, as if afraid he would run away. Still somewhat unable to distinguish reality from the dream, he couldn't help but whisper, "I'm sorry..."

'I'm sorry for misunderstanding you, and for harming you.'

'He should have said that in his past life.'

Lu Xingzhe's body stiffened at his words and didn't relax for a long time. But Xi Nian didn't notice his strangeness. He turned and pressed him down, their foreheads touching, then rained down a flurry of kisses, their breaths mingling. He paused for a moment before saying, "Lu Xingzhe, I like you."

He should have said these words long ago. Xi Nian hadn't said them before because of his personality; now he said them because he was afraid that one day, he might not have the chance to say them at all.

He kissed Lu Xingzhe again, discovering that the words weren't as hard to say as he'd imagined. "I like you."

'The kind of like that meant I really liked you.'

As soon as Xi Nian's voice fell, his collar was grabbed. The next moment, his vision spun, and he was pressed down in turn. Lu Xingzhe propped himself up beside him, narrowed his eyes, and looked somewhat surprised and uncertain. "What did you say?"

'For some reason, it sounded like he was looking for a fight. This scene wasn't quite what he had imagined.'

Xi Nian easily disarmed the strength in his hand, then rolled over and pressed Lu Xingzhe back underneath him. He kissed his crimson lips as lightly as a dragonfly touching water, his voice muffled, "I said, I like you."

He undid Lu Xingzhe's buttons, and the clothes slipped silently to the floor, piling up like a wilted flower.

Lu Xingzhe unconsciously tightened his grip on Xi Nian's shoulders, then slowly let go. A flush gradually crept over his pale face. His brows furrowed, it was unclear whether from pain or pleasure. He suppressed a muffled groan that almost escaped his lips, then suddenly grabbed the back of Xi Nian's head, his five fingers threading through his thick hair as he said hoarsely, "Say it again."

"Say it again..."

Xi Nian didn't speak. He wanted to devour him whole.

The corners of Lu Xingzhe's eyes were flushed a deep red. From the bed to the sofa, his tormented sounds began to break apart. Xi Nian kissed his previously injured left leg, then sought out his lips again, pulling him fiercely into his arms. As the afterglow faded, he said, "Even if I say it a hundred more times, it will still mean the same thing."

Lu Xingzhe's voice was too hoarse to speak. Xi Nian brushed aside his sweat-dampened hair. Remembering how he couldn't touch him in the dream, he finally felt the reality of the person before him through the warmth of his fingertips.

Outside the window, the warm sun was beginning to rise, dispelling the severe cold.

Xi Nian silently soothed Lu Xingzhe's back, holding him quietly for a moment. Then, as if remembering something, he opened his eyes and asked in a low voice, "What did you dream about?"

Lu Xingzhe's chest heaved unevenly. With his eyes closed, as if casually making something up, he said irritably, "I dreamed you found a mistress."

Xi Nian said, "It really was a dream, then."

He picked up his clothes and draped them on, then carried Lu Xingzhe to the bathroom. He paused, as if remembering something, and said in a serious tone, "I only have you, no one else."

Lu Xingzhe stared at him without speaking, his dark eyes making it hard to discern any emotion. A moment later, he suddenly buried his face in Xi Nian's chest, slowly wrapped his arms around his neck, and hummed a low "Mhm." "I know."

Xi Nian asked, "Do you really know?"

Lu Xingzhe quietly lifted his head from his chest, his pupils dark and moist. Then he kissed his neck. "I really know."

The author has something to say:

Thank you to the little angels who threw Overlord tickets or irrigated with nutrient solution for me between 2021-01-12 18:22:23 and 2021-01-13 14:24:11~

Thanks to the little angels who threw a rocket launcher: 格雷尔萨特克里夫, 乱洒青荷包蛋 1 each;

Thanks to the little angels who threw a hand grenade: 小星星, 所以因为, 非也 1 each;

Thanks to the little angels who threw a landmine: 旺仔牛逼糖不甜 7; 三三 4; 一朵小芙蓉, 墨墨小离, 须臾阑珊, 阿灵啊 2 each; 言筌筌, 木子小小, 兔宰治, 椰子, _千鲤., 深深, 黯, 楠木子, 平平无奇干饭人, 听风动, 因为太喜欢了啊, dandelion, 叶子叶子啊, 满目山河, 49419628, 一月小朋友, 青悠, about., 含糖弄猫, 是月流光 1 each;

Thanks to the little angels who irrigated with nutrient solution: g 135 bottles; 畵棠 50 bottles; 楚晚宁我老公 49 bottles; 许家小自在 36 bottles; Serina 35 bottles; 燕析木木啊 33 bottles; 这是什么?_? 30 bottles; 谢远逍, 禾几头, 秦秦秦宝宝, 墨墨小离 20 bottles; 喜欢小甜饼, 瑾安, 我, Seventeen, 南柯铭文, 季夏°, 祁越棠, 宗珂, 小灯笼, 天蝎木子慧, 不知是哪里的马, dandelion, 君唯卿, 钟离墨毓, kkk, _千鲤. 10 bottles; 江疯如此多娇 8 bottles; 笑子不闻 7 bottles; 阿灵啊 6 bottles; 临西, 改名, 啾啾叽, 木子小小 5 bottles; 两层小肚腩 4 bottles; 听风动, 忆御, 江云箐, 雨夜深处, 赏花归去马如飞 3 bottles; 千变, 兔兔兔兔, 爱上喵的猫 2 bottles; 柚子汽水, 袼物, 爱糖的小猪, 清焰, 酒困思茶, 言无, haha, 要抱抱啊, 苏叶, 叶, 一点星光, 甜酒糯米团, 朝歌迟暮, 米线好好吃, 我是呵呵, 丹妮, 我家白猫爱吃菜, 哦豁, 幻想，新生，事成, 广平, 啾, 唐落 1 bottle;

Thank you all very much for your support, I will continue to work hard