I'm Always Here

During Chinese New Year, elders follow the custom of giving red envelopes to the younger generation. Mother Jiang did so not only because she felt bad about accepting such an expensive gift from Gu Qingzhou, but it also showed that she was very fond of him. However, only Gu Qingzhou knew how uneasy he felt in his heart while bearing such kindness.

The only one in a cheerful mood was probably Jiang Xu. He never seemed to take anything seriously. To put it bluntly, he was just carefree.

Gu Qingzhou sighed inscrutably, "I really should learn from you."

Jiang Xu didn't understand what he was talking about, but he just went along with it, "Of course. There are plenty of things about me worth learning."

Gu Qingzhou gave him a cool glance, thinking the man couldn't tell praise from criticism. "Learn what from you? Your thick skin? Your simple-mindedness?"

'What's with the personal attacks on such a cold day? It's making my heart go cold,' Jiang Xu thought. He narrowed his eyes and asked with a smile, "Tsk, don't tell me I should learn to be petty and jealous like you?"

Every word hit Gu Qingzhou's sore spot.

But when it came to Jiang Xu, he was indeed petty and jealous. He couldn't change it in this lifetime, nor did he want to.

When arguing, if you can't win, you might as well shut up, especially when arguing with Jiang Xu, lest you anger yourself to death. Thus, Gu Qingzhou didn't say another word for the rest of the journey. He was uncharacteristically quiet, which made Jiang Xu think he had admitted defeat, a rather smug look on his face.

The two walked for another ten minutes or so before reaching the station. They found their parked car, cleared the snow off its body, and prepared to set off for Hai City. However, just as Jiang Xu sat in the driver's seat, before he could even turn on the heat, he was suddenly pulled over by Gu Qingzhou. A strong force came from the back of his head, and a warm sensation covered his lips as Gu Qingzhou bit him hard.

"Hiss—"

Jiang Xu truly hadn't expected this, or he would have definitely been able to dodge. He shoved Gu Qingzhou away and subconsciously raised a hand to touch the corner of his lips, which stung hotly. He felt that even after all these years, he still couldn't figure out Gu Qingzhou's mercurial emotions. "Are you crazy?"

Gu Qingzhou truly lived up to his evaluation—completely and utterly petty. Seeing the situation, he said without much sincerity, "Sorry, I couldn't control my strength."

Jiang Xu: "..."

Seeing him flustered, Gu Qingzhou leaned back into his seat. 'This is how it should be,' he thought. 'Why bother reasoning with a little hoodlum like Jiang Xu? You should just use force. What's the point of all the nonsense talk?' He closed his eyes coolly and admitted rather frankly, "You missed one thing. Not only am I petty and jealous, I also hold grudges."

'I can see that,' Jiang Xu thought. 'You can hold onto a trivial little thing for a lifetime.' While starting the car, he said lazily, "We have to go back to work in a couple of days."

Gu Qingzhou opened his eyes upon hearing this, then closed them again, asking at his leisure, "Team Leader Jiang doesn't seem very enthusiastic about this job?"

Jiang Xu raised an eyebrow. "Team Leader? What do you mean?"

Gu Qingzhou didn't explain much, only saying, "Exactly what it sounds like."

At the end-of-year performance review, setting aside Jiang Xu's little acts of slacking off at work, his performance was actually among the very top. Otherwise, Old Luo wouldn't have specially mentioned it when he stepped down. Gu Qingzhou had this plan in mind for a while, but he had been busy recently and forgot to mention it.

Jiang Xu gave him a half-smile. "Does this mean I've successfully latched onto someone powerful?"

Gu Qingzhou said, "You earned it yourself. When you become a manager someday, that's when you'll have truly latched on."

Jiang Xu said, "If I become a manager, wouldn't you have nowhere to go?"

He had meant it as a joke, never expecting it to become a prophecy.

When the New Year holiday ended, everyone gradually returned to work at the company. But Gu Qingzhou suddenly received a message saying Old Master Gu's condition had worsened. The doctor had already issued a critical illness notice, and it would likely be a matter of the next day or two. Both for emotional and logical reasons, he had to make a trip back to City A. During this period, the company couldn't be left unattended, so headquarters sent someone else to take over his work.

This came suddenly, yet it also seemed to be within expectations. After all, Old Master Gu's health had been deteriorating day by day. That he could hold on for so long was entirely due to expensive medication prolonging his life.

Mother Gu called. This time, she didn't say much, probably knowing that Gu Qingzhou would definitely return. Her tone was neither good nor bad. "Just book a flight for tonight and hurry back. You should at least see him one last time. I'll have the driver pick you up at the airport."

It was noisy on the other end, clearly chaotic. After she finished speaking, she hung up, and a busy tone droned on.

At that moment, Gu Qingzhou had just gotten off work and had just gotten into the car with Jiang Xu to go home when the phone call threw his thoughts into disarray. Noticing that Gu Qingzhou's expression was off, Jiang Xu glanced at him instinctively and asked, "What's wrong?"

Gu Qingzhou paused before saying, "...My dad's not doing well. The doctor said it'll likely be in the next day or two. I have to rush back to City A tonight. I'll pack my bags when I get home and leave."

When the word referring to his father came out, his voice was indifferent and strained, making it difficult to discern what kind of emotion it contained.

Jiang Xu had never expected something like this. He was stunned for a moment, and without time to think, he subconsciously sped up the car and asked, "Then... have you booked the flight?"

Gu Qingzhou nodded. "It's booked for 8:30 tonight."

Jiang Xu glanced at the time. "There's still enough time."

His brain hadn't quite processed it yet. In a normal family, when a parent falls critically ill, the first reaction should be sadness or anxiety. But Gu Qingzhou's upbringing was unique. Even if he didn't say a word, Jiang Xu could guess it was far from harmonious, and for a moment, he didn't know how to offer comfort.

Seeing his rare silence, unlike his usual joking around, Gu Qingzhou took a pack of cigarettes from the door compartment and uncharacteristically lit one. After lighting it, he rolled down the window, letting the thin white smoke dissipate. "Actually, I can't even remember what he looks like anymore..."

The cold wind devoured the cigarette between Gu Qingzhou's fingers, the ember flickering uncertainly. "He's my father, but he's more like a stranger. He only cared about his own pleasure. His sons and daughters, those raised at home and those raised outside, he couldn't even name all of them."

Gu Qingzhou lowered his gaze and flicked the ash. The brilliant dusk sky cast a dim halo of light onto the road. "I can't say I'm sad, really. Just a bit... sentimental..."

No one can deny that one's family environment has a crucial impact on their growth. Everyone wants to live a perfect life, to be an elegant, praised princess or prince in an ivory tower. But in reality, they are often mired in mud, struggling to climb out while their flesh and bone are scraped by gravel. Some even suffer broken limbs, and in the end, all are left with irreversible flaws.

The words piled upon Gu Qingzhou were never beautiful ones. Cold, stubborn, unlikable, possessive, or, as Jiang Xu said, petty and jealous—all of it destined him to have a shadow in his heart, to not be a person bathed in sunlight.

He also wanted to be a likable person, but every time he tried, he could only give up in vain.

Jiang Xu drove home faster than usual. He felt that with something like this happening in Gu Qingzhou's family, even if the other man said he wasn't sad, he certainly couldn't be happy. While helping to pack the luggage, he asked, "Why don't I go with you?"

Hearing this, Gu Qingzhou paused his packing and looked at him. A hint of a smile finally appeared in his eyes as he retorted, "And abandon your job?"

Old Master Gu was a somewhat reputable figure in City A. To put it bluntly, he probably only had a few days left. The funeral and subsequent affairs definitely couldn't be handled in a day or two. It would take half a month at the minimum, and possibly one or two months at the most. Gu Qingzhou could put his work on hold, but Jiang Xu couldn't. He didn't want to drag Jiang Xu into this mess either.

Jiang Xu also looked at him and smiled. "Nowadays, can someone with hands and feet really starve to death?"

After speaking, he sat lazily on the floor and asked with rare childishness, "You're not going to leave and never come back, are you?"

Without looking up, Gu Qingzhou coolly retorted, "Do you think that's possible?"

His father didn't dote on him and his mother didn't love him; he was no different from a lone soul. The only person who could now tie him down, who could sway his thoughts, was Jiang Xu.

Jiang Xu didn't speak. He just pulled Gu Qingzhou into his arms for a kiss, then stroked the back of his head and muttered, "You never know."

Because they had to catch the flight, there was no extra time to waste. After packing, Jiang Xu drove Gu Qingzhou to the airport. He thought about sleeping alone tonight, which felt a bit strange, and couldn't help but ask, "When are you coming back?"

Gu Qingzhou really wanted to give him a definite time but was unable to. He shifted his sitting position. "It's hard to say. It could be half a month, a month, or even two months."

Jiang Xu: "Tsk."

Gu Qingzhou crossed his legs, glanced at him, and retorted in Jiang Xu's old tone, "What, can't bear to part with me?"

Jiang Xu didn't speak. 'It's only for a month or two,' he thought. 'It should be fine.' It wasn't far from the airport, about a twenty-minute drive. Perhaps due to the weather, there weren't many travelers. Only the electronic billboards on the surrounding buildings flashed in the night, their lights reflecting off one another.

Jiang Xu took the luggage from the trunk. Seeing there was still some time, he said to Gu Qingzhou, "Come on, I'll walk you to the public hall."

Gu Qingzhou didn't move. He just used the cover of night to kiss Jiang Xu. His lips were slightly cool, carrying an indescribable palpitation. Unlike his usual fierce force, this was very gentle. He said in a low voice, "Someone from headquarters should be coming tomorrow to temporarily take over my job. Don't slack off during work hours. I can see you from the office window with a single glance."

Jiang Xu's feelings were complicated: "..."

After he finished, he kissed Jiang Xu again. He had an irrepressible urge to leave another mark on Jiang Xu's lips to declare his ownership, but seeing that the bite mark from this morning hadn't faded yet, he gave up the idea.

Gu Qingzhou said, "It's cold. Just drop me off here. You should head back early."

Jiang Xu was actually a bit reluctant to let him go, but he disliked this kind of sentimental, wishy-washy feeling. Even if some of it surfaced, he would forcefully suppress it. This time, however, he couldn't quite keep it down. He grabbed Gu Qingzhou's hand to stop him from leaving and pouted, "Hey, remember to come back early."

Gu Qingzhou was actually even more reluctant than Jiang Xu, but seeing his furrowed brow made him want to laugh a little. He nodded and said with a half-smile, "We'll see."

His figure was slender and tall, appearing even leaner under the shroud of night, as if he never had a place to rest, always rushing back and forth between different places. It was like this in his teens, and it was still like this in his twenties.

Jiang Xu reached out, pulled him into his arms, and then slowly tightened his embrace. "Tell me if anything happens."

Gu Qingzhou nodded.

Jiang Xu said, "I'm always here."