Too close.

Yue Zhishi didn't have time to answer Song Yu's question. Guilt and panic pulled his body backward, and he tripped on the higher step behind him, his body tilting back.

But Song Yu was a step faster, grabbing his arm and yanking him forward. Yue Zhishi was like a tumbler toy that had lost its free will, swaying back and forth before finally falling headfirst into Song Yu's arms.

"What's wrong with you?" Song Yu asked with a frown, but Yue Zhishi, very unappreciatively, struggled free. He retreated a few steps to stand on a higher stair, his voice a little unsteady as he spoke, "I'm fine."

Song Yu stood where he was, gazing at him, as if examining the truth of his words.

Yue Zhishi's state was very off. He couldn't explain his current strangeness to his brother, so he simply gave up and squatted down, burying his head in his knees and using something else as a cover. "I accidentally drank a sip of someone else's beer just now. I feel a little sick."

Hearing this, some of Song Yu's suspicion dissipated. He also squatted down, took Yue Zhishi's wrist, and turned it over to check the inside of his arm. For now, there was no rash. Since he said it was an accident, Song Yu wouldn't doubt him.

"How much did you drink?"

Yue Zhishi shook his head, but it was still buried. "Not much, just a small sip."

The section of his arm held by Song Yu was very hot. The warmth climbed up like a snake, all the way to his heart. A thin layer of sweat broke out on his back. He kind of wanted to pull away, but he also kind of wanted to stay as he was, to continue being held like this, or even hugged like just a moment ago.

This contradictory feeling was too strange. Thinking back to what he saw in the KTV, Yue Zhishi even felt a subconscious panic.

He had personally witnessed a possibility extending from himself that he had never considered before, and this possibility was different from everyone else's. He inappropriately recalled the reactions of the other boys just now when they saw the GIF of two men—they had all laughed and jeered in unison, without the slightest attempt to hide it.

Only he was different.

Why couldn't he laugh?

"Let's go home." Song Yu released his wrist and patted his hand. "Go back and take a Loratadine tablet."

Yue Zhishi lifted his head, his face redder from being stuffy. "Are you going back too?"

Song Yu nodded at him. "It's pretty boring."

"Then why did you come?"

Song Yu's expression shifted. Faced with Yue Zhishi's unabashedly direct way of questioning, he had long since learned to change the subject. He stood up on his own. "Are you going or not?"

"Going." Yue Zhishi stood up without hesitation to follow Song Yu, but the next second, he remembered his merchandise was still on the table in the KTV, so he told Song Yu he had to go back and get it.

Although Song Yu didn't say anything, he followed silently behind him. The large private room booked by the third-year junior high students was at the very end of the first floor, while their third-year senior high graduating class was on the second. Song Yu hadn't wanted to go in, but when he thought about how Yue Zhishi had accidentally drunk beer, he guessed there were probably some unruly people inside, so he followed him in after all.

As expected, Yue Zhishi re-entering with his brother was even more eye-catching. The atmosphere in the KTV was clearly different from school, and everyone's teasing was even more energetic.

"Yo, Lele, your brother's here to take you home."

"Your family is so strict."

Song Yu's face was cold, and he remained silent. Yue Zhishi noticed that the classmates who had pulled him over to watch the video earlier were back in this room. They were singing now. A little afraid of getting entangled with them, Yue Zhishi quickly ran to the corner where he had been sitting before.

Jiang Yufan was still sitting there, playing a game with someone else. He looked up and happened to see him. "Hey, you're back? They said you went to the bathroom."

"I'm going home, my brother's here." Yue Zhishi picked up the merchandise from the table. "You should go home early too."

Jiang Yufan nodded repeatedly. "I'm leaving after this round too. Wanna come out and play ball tomorrow?"

"Okay!" Yue Zhishi bolted, afraid that Song Yu would feel uncomfortable in there, and also afraid that those boys would grab him again to do something strange.

Song Yu had come out a few steps ahead of him. His phone vibrated.

[Qin Yan: Handsome, you still coming back?]

Song Yu lowered his head to type.

[Song Yu: I've gone home.]

[Qin Yan: ??? You're hilarious. Before, we asked you to come and you wouldn't, then you suddenly changed your mind and came, and now you've run off after just a little while. Didn't even sing a single song. They're the king of KTV, you're the king of ditching.]

The joke wasn't really that funny. Song Yu didn't laugh, and for a moment, he didn't know how to reply.

He also felt that his protective instincts were too strong.

Yue Zhishi came out with his beloved merchandise and walked with Song Yu toward the bus stop. He found that many things were like counting sheep in bed when you have insomnia—the more you think about it, the less you can sleep. The more he warned himself not to think about that image, the more that animated ad GIF kept flashing before his eyes, making him feel very embarrassed.

At night, the interval between buses became very long. They stood side by side, neither speaking. Cars came and went on the road. Having not eaten dinner, Yue Zhishi's stomach growled, making the atmosphere even more awkward.

But Song Yu didn't seem to think much of it. He told Yue Zhishi to sit and wait here. Before long, he came back out with a Red Bean Matcha Daifuku and a carton of ice cream, handing them to Yue Zhishi.

The bus arrived too. They got on. There was only one young man on the bus, wearing headphones and sleeping, sitting at the very front. The two swiped their cards and went to sit in a double seat in the last row. Yue Zhishi unwrapped the daifuku and swallowed it in two bites, then tore the lid off the ice cream to enjoy it slowly.

When he was eating, his attention would unconsciously shift.

Song Yu helped him hold the figurine, staring at it for a moment. "You went to the party just for this."

"Yes." Yue Zhishi didn't hide it at all, saying this was the merchandise he wanted most. "Actually, there's also that one from Naruto, but it's already sold out. I'm planning to watch Xianyu for it, to try my luck."

Song Yu sighed silently. He felt it wasn't impossible that Yue Zhishi might one day run off with someone over a piece of anime merchandise.

The ice cream was also matcha-flavored. Yue Zhishi thought Song Yu would like it, so he scooped up a spoonful and offered it to his lips, but Song Yu still refused. Yue Zhishi had no choice but to finish it himself, placing the carton into the convenience store's plastic bag, content. The ice cream he ate brought his body temperature down, but there was still a somewhat strange emotion in his heart.

He found he didn't dare to think about it in detail or delve deeper, as if he were afraid of what he might find out.

The stirrings of adolescence were like a restless wisdom tooth, hidden in the deepest corner. Its presence could at best be described as faintly perceptible, yet it was impossible to ignore. You always wanted to lick it with the tip of your tongue, to touch it, but you never got any clear feedback.

Anxiety, curiosity, panic, fear—all these emotions lay in ambush within the ambiguous soft flesh, and you couldn't make a correct prediction.

You hoped for it to emerge, yet feared the dull ache that could come at any moment.

Song Yu sat right beside him, having put on his headphones at some point. The bus swayed as it moved forward. The reflective glass mirrored his handsome profile, which, along with the flashing neon lights, had a kind of illusory beauty.

Yue Zhishi looked at the windowpane, a younger person's curiosity toward an older one sprouting in his heart.

"Brother Song Yu." He turned his head.

Song Yu took off one earphone and met his gaze.

"Have you ever seen that kind of video?" Yue Zhishi's expression and tone both revealed an obvious shyness, but as if afraid Song Yu wouldn't understand, he deliberately added, "The kind that's not suitable for children."

Song Yu's brow furrowed. "Why are you asking this?"

This time, Yue Zhishi wasn't sidetracked by his counter-question. He persisted, "Have you seen one?"

Song Yu was silent for a second or two, then raised his hand to put his earphone back on, seeming to have no intention of answering his question. Yue Zhishi hurriedly pressed down the hand holding the earphone. "I'm just curious."

"Why are you curious?" Song Yu stared at him, his gaze sharp.

Yue Zhishi didn't avoid Song Yu's gaze, but he paused for two seconds before speaking. "A few of the boys showed me one just now."

He had been a little scared, but Song Yu's reaction was far calmer than he had imagined. "And then?"

He raised an eyebrow, his face still showing little expression. "Was it good?"

Yue Zhishi lowered his eyes and mumbled, "It was just okay." He didn't dare to say what he had seen afterward, only talking about the first part. "I didn't really get a clear look. They were all crowded together, and the phone screen was so small. And they were laughing really loudly. They said the girl had a great body. I couldn't tell if it was good or not, but she was very pale, a foreigner. The guy..."

"Wasn't good-looking, all scruffy." Yue Zhishi lifted his eyelids and glanced at Song Yu, like a little puppy cowering in a corner after making a mistake, but the words that came out were so direct they were laughable. "Not as good-looking as you."

A confused expression appeared on Song Yu's face. "Why are you comparing me to him? Do you think I'd be happy to hear that I'm better looking than a porn actor?"

Yue Zhishi was also confused for a moment, but he quickly found a reason. "Because you're right here. And you're very good-looking."

Song Yu was rendered speechless by him. The bus announcer called out their stop, and Yue Zhishi, as if waking from a dream, nudged his shoulder. Only then did the two get off the bus.

"Don't hang out with those people in the future. You'll only learn bad things," Song Yu warned him, his tone severe.

But even if he hadn't said it, Yue Zhishi knew it in his heart. Although the upbringing he received wasn't iron-fisted, it had always guided him in a good direction. Even Yue Zhishi himself disliked the feeling of being with that group of people just now.

And he always subconsciously felt that if he went bad, Song Yu might come to hate him.

Walking on the street, the summer wind blew against their faces. Along the roadside, there were many bustling barbecue stalls with tables set up outside, one next to the other, where people sat eating late-night snacks and chatting. In the noisy environment, Song Yu's voice seemed a bit faint, not so severe anymore. "It's normal for sexual awareness to awaken. You've grown up."

Yue Zhishi didn't know how to respond, so he simply said nothing. They walked past the area with the food stalls, and their surroundings suddenly quieted down, leaving only the chirping of cicadas in the night. The dim yellow streetlights stretched their shadows, making them stick together.

With his head lowered, Yue Zhishi heard Song Yu ask again, "Those are your only thoughts after watching it?"

He didn't know why Song Yu's line of questioning had changed again. He stubbornly said, "Mhm."

Song Yu didn't press him further. The two walked in silence to the elevator downstairs in their building, and he raised his hand to press the up button. While they waited, Song Yu spoke again in a low voice, "Actually, you don't need to feel ashamed about this kind of thing. It's very normal to have certain feelings or reactions when you see it. The human reproductive drive is an instinct. You can be curious, you can take the initiative to learn, but don't do things you shouldn't out of curiosity."

In fact, Song Yu didn't want to be the one to guide him in this aspect. He forced a nonchalant appearance to handle the situation, simply because he didn't want Yue Zhishi to feel embarrassed about it.

But in reality, he was rather unwilling to imagine what Yue Zhishi looked like watching those images.

"Sex isn't something shameful either. Only by facing it directly can you treat it correctly."

On one hand, Song Yu hoped his younger brother could properly handle the awakening of his sexual consciousness. On the other hand, he felt as if he had no right to teach him. After all, the thoughts he held were "incorrect" in the popular sense. This contradictory feeling that went against common sense left Song Yu trapped, mired deep within it, yet he still had to learn to fulfill his responsibilities as an older brother.

"It's all very normal. Don't be nervous."

Thinking about how Yue Zhishi could tell him these things so unburdened, Song Yu felt even more strongly that he should just obediently be a good older brother.

Yue Zhishi mulled over Song Yu's words, and the burden in his heart seemed to lessen a little. But what he found hard to talk about and what Song Yu was talking about seemed to be two different things, different in degree and also in direction.

But perhaps the principle was the same, he convinced himself.

But if Song Yu really knew that he had a bigger reaction to seeing a scene with two guys, would he still be able to say all this to him so calmly?

Yue Zhishi wasn't sure.

The elevator doors opened. Perhaps something had been transported in it earlier, because a little dust fell down the moment the doors opened. Standing in front, Yue Zhishi breathed it in and couldn't help but start coughing.

"Are you okay?" Song Yu pressed the button for their floor. He wasn't as sensitive to smells as Yue Zhishi and didn't notice anything unusual in the elevator, so he subconsciously lowered his head to check if he still smelled of smoke. Seeing this action, Yue Zhishi shook his head, calmed his breathing, and said to Song Yu: "It's not from you. Dust fell from above just now."

His motive discovered by Yue Zhishi, Song Yu's tone became a little unnatural. "I just don't want to reek of smoke. It smells bad."

"There is a little bit. But I don't know why," Yue Zhishi leaned against the elevator wall, panting. After coughing, his pale face was flushed, and his eyes were misty. His tone was as sincere as his gaze.

"On you, it becomes a really nice smell."

The author has something to say:

Lele, Mommy's good boy, you can't keep flirting like this...