Like a Summer Dream. Part 2

Gradually, Gu Shibo watched a whole animated series with Gu Baoyan. Although it was only after finishing it that he learned Gu Baoyan had secretly told the nanny, "I'm already in grade school, and I'm still watching cartoons. It's so tiring to indulge my dad's idea of a father-daughter bond."

The home began to have some warmth, some bittersweet trifles. The father and son hadn't argued in nearly half a year. Only Xue Manzi had lost her temper once, and it was because she discovered Gu Zhuoyan had learned to smoke. But she didn't really fly into a rage. Gu Shibo made excuses for his son, saying to let him be as long as he wasn't smoking heavily.

Gu Zhuoyan couldn't remember exactly when it became a habit. The first time he smoked was at Tianji High School in Rong City, in a little corner. He'd bummed one off some guys from the basketball team. The second time was a few months ago. A sudden feeling, as if he was bound too tightly and urgently needed an escape. He asked the family gardener for one and smoked while listening to the man talk about the blooming seasons of the various flowers in the garden.

He asked, "Can we plant banyan trees?"

The man replied, "They don't grow well in the north."

"Oh," Gu Zhuoyan nodded, finished smoking, and left.

Later, he started buying his own cigarettes, sometimes Marlboro, sometimes Yuhuashi, not particular about the brand. Occasionally, he'd grab a pack from a small roadside supermarket and smoke. He wasn't really addicted; he might only think to smoke one every ten days or half a month. He wasn't fond of the taste of nicotine; it seemed he did it just for the act of inhaling and exhaling.

Exhaling a puff of white smoke, his entire body would relax completely.

During the summer break between his second and third year of high school, even if Gu Zhuoyan had eighty famous tutors, he'd still have a few free days. He and Lu Wen went for Chaoshan beef hotpot, acting crazy. After eating, he went home and learned to cook from the family's cook.

Gu Zhuoyan had once arrogantly said that if you're smart, there's nothing you can't learn. But when it came to learning to cook, for the first time ever, he began to doubt his own intelligence. He practiced preparing vegetables for three days, practiced cutting for a week, and his fingers were wrapped in gauze for a full ten days.

Someone had said he hoped the person he liked would cook for him and not mind his picky eating.

Gu Zhuoyan muttered this sentence to himself and, at the risk of infuriating the cook, planted himself in the kitchen and learned several signature dishes, even learning how to make spiral-cut cucumbers.

That person had also said he hoped the person he liked would watch his favorite movies with him.

Gu Zhuoyan found a few films and practiced hard. He always got sleepy watching them alone, so he took Gu Baoyan to the cinema, invited Lian Yiming and the others to watch. He accumulated a thick stack of ticket stubs, and he was finally able to watch 'Comrades: Almost a Love Story' from beginning to end.

Once he entered his third year of high school, Gu Zhuoyan began preparing to study abroad. Gu Shibo and Xue Manzi became nervous, indirectly asking him where he planned to go.

He said, "USA."

Xue Manzi was the first to become antsy, but she didn't explicitly forbid it. She patiently tried to persuade him like a director of the women's federation, saying things like "don't let your studies be swayed by emotions," "don't cling to someone you have no fate with," and "you've been hurt once, don't get hurt even more painfully a second time."

Gu Zhuoyan said they had already broken up and that he knew his limits. Xue Manzi was skeptical. He explained more clearly: they hadn't contacted each other even once, his face and smile were just a shadow in his memory, so what was there to worry about?

Gu Shibo didn't have as much to say, just one sentence: "You must come back after graduation."

Gu Zhuoyan readily agreed. The family company, his closest relatives, and his friends were all here; returning was a certainty. In turn, he also finally understood the other person's difficulties when they separated last year.

Everyone said time flies, but Gu Zhuoyan felt it moved slowly. In the second semester of his third year, after spring had passed, he finally felt like he was reaching the end of the ordeal.

In the early summer of June, students headed to the exam halls for the battle. Gu Zhuoyan's seat was in the last row by the window. Sunlight streamed in. He vaguely saw a scene: a small, curly-haired boy with bright eyes and pearly teeth standing in front of the main gate. Looking up at the third row, that round head was secretly talking to his deskmate again, discussing whether or not to have claypot rice for lunch.

As the bell to start the exam rang, Gu Zhuoyan picked up his pen, and it was as if someone whispered in his ear, "It's okay if you don't do well."

The end of the college entrance exams was followed by a long summer break. Gu Zhuoyan waited for his results while learning Japanese, whiling away the time until August. Bond was so hot he didn't want to move, lying in the air-conditioned room sleeping all day. He didn't smoke anymore either; a popsicle was more satisfying.

Materials from several prestigious universities were scattered on the desk. Gu Zhuoyan, having just showered, sat at the desk and casually picked up a page to fan himself. Everything was ready. He let out a leisurely breath.

His phone vibrated on the desk, very loudly.

Gu Zhuoyan picked it up, guessing it was Lu Wen asking him to hang out, or classmates arranging a get-together. The moment his eyes fell on the screen, he froze, his nose stinging reflexively.

The caller ID read—Zhuang Fanxin.

It had been one year and seven months. They hadn't contacted each other in one year and seven months.

No letters where seeing the words was like seeing the person. No holiday greeting texts, no long phone calls. They had shelved each other, and after more than a year of ups and downs, at this sudden, unexpected moment, Gu Zhuoyan could barely hold his phone.

He pressed the answer button, brought the phone to his ear, his heart thumping wildly along.

"It's me," came Zhuang Fanxin's voice.

Gu Zhuoyan forced out from the back of his throat, "Yeah."

"Are you doing well?" Zhuang Fanxin asked.

The question was unimaginably distant, reminding Gu Zhuoyan that an ocean separated them. He answered, "Pretty good." He wanted to close some of the distance, reached out his hand, and his fingertips touched the materials on the desk.

"Gu Zhuoyan," Zhuang Fanxin said then, "I have someone I like here."

Gu Zhuoyan swallowed a mouthful of nothing. "What?"

Zhuang Fanxin said, "He's a classmate who studies design with me. We get along really well. We got together last month."

Gu Zhuoyan's chest heaved, feeling like a hole had been punched through his heart. He tried his best to maintain his composure and fragile dignity. "We broke up. It's your freedom to be with whoever you want."

Little did he know that Zhuang Fanxin's slaughter of him wasn't over yet.

"He doesn't want me to keep my ex's contact information, so." Zhuang Fanxin paused. "I wish you all the best in the future."

Gu Zhuoyan lowered the phone. He struggled in immense, helpless confusion, unable to come back to his senses for a long time. What had Zhuang Fanxin said? He was with someone else, so what was he?

He reopened his call history and dialed the number, but it wouldn't connect. He opened his chat list but could no longer find Zhuang Fanxin's profile picture. All contact methods, the old class group chat, everything—Zhuang Fanxin's existence was gone.

In just one minute, Zhuang Fanxin had vanished from his world.

Gu Zhuoyan trembled in panic, dialing again and again, pressing the call button again and again. He held the phone to his ear and mumbled Zhuang Fanxin's name. 'Zhuang'er, I miss you so much. I miss you every single day.

'I learned to cook, waiting for you to inspect my culinary skills. I even overcame my habit of getting sleepy during movies, so I can watch your favorite movies with you in the future.

'I've applied to the schools. Once I get there, we can see each other soon.

'I never gave up for a single moment. I've been waiting all this time.

'You promised me at the airport that you wouldn't forget me. Why didn't you keep your promise?

'Zhuang Fanxin, come back, don't torture me like this, come back...'

Gu Zhuoyan kept talking, saying everything he never had the chance to say, everything buried in his heart that he'd had no opportunity to say, word by word. His vision blurred, filled and overflowed. He realized he was crying.

But it was so quiet. No one responded. There was nothing left.

Zhuang Fanxin had disappeared completely, without a single trace. His hand loosened, the phone fell to the floor, and Gu Zhuoyan leaned back in his chair, his mind gradually going blank.

It was as if he had never been to Rong City, had never known Zhuang Fanxin.

No fateful mistake in McDonald's, nor a happy ending. No kiss on the classroom windowsill, no chase along the shores of Gulangyu Island. No fluttering heart, no intimate embraces, no promise made late on Christmas night that they would be together for a lifetime.

...Perhaps nothing had ever happened.

Like a summer dream, it began in that August and ended in this one, but in reality, it was an emptiness with not even a fragment left behind.

The author has something to say: The teenage years are over, and now we move directly to adulthood.