Zhuang Fanxin ran away.

As if he were scared, he didn't leave a single word, nor did he take the local specialties and the Monchhichi. He broke free from Gu Zhuoyan's hold and bolted. Gu Zhuoyan remained standing in the room, the platinum bracelet tied to his wrist. The wind blew in, making both him and the chain feel chilly.

He liked fencing, started learning at seven, practiced diligently for ten years, and organized the fencing club. He liked to study, serious and hardworking, never slacking off for a single class, fighting for good results in competitions big and small. Including playing the guitar, riding horses, and playing games, whatever he liked, he would do his best and then reap the rewards.

But why, when he liked Zhuang Fanxin, was the final result so absurd?

A sense of defeat welled up in Gu Zhuoyan, as if he'd been struck by an iron fist, leaving him utterly exhausted from head to toe. He also felt a little wronged. The mistake had started on the first day of school at McDonald's. When Zhuang Fanxin said he knew the reason for his transfer, that was the beginning of his misunderstanding. But could he be blamed? He had been completely led astray by Zhuang Fanxin.

And all that intimate contact, those straightforward hints, turned out to be his own wishful thinking. To put it plainly, not only had he fallen into a ditch and failed to climb out, but while in the ditch, he had perceived their love to be mutual.

Gu Zhuoyan thought with bewilderment that now that the truth was out, forget Zhuang Fanxin liking him, how he even saw him was a complete unknown.

After a night of tossing and turning, Gu Zhuoyan only managed to fall asleep in the latter half of the night. His dreams were full and bitter, and he woke with a twitch of his eyelids. His phone buzzed by his pillow. At a time like this, some bastard was sending annoying messages. He opened it; it was just half past eight.

In the group chat, Su Wang said: “I was watching a video while running just now, the channel I subscribed to on YouTube updated!”

Lian Yiming, who had probably also just woken up: “You fucking tell us even when you're watching a video, what's wrong with you?”

“No!” Su Wang sent a few eye-catching emojis. “This episode is about some ACC Competition, and I saw Zhuang Fanxin!”

Gu Zhuoyan was half-asleep. When he saw the name “Zhuang Fanxin,” his heart couldn't help but skip a beat. He didn't reply, his fingers hovering, just stared. Just then, Lu Wen came online: “What? Little neighbor is so awesome! Hurry up and finish watching, then translate it for me!”

Su Wang translated as he watched: “The highly anticipated ACC Competition concluded last week. The champion design from the jewelry design group is the tiara The White Chess Queen, which fuses Chinese and Western elements... Fuck, fuck!”

Lian Yiming: “Keep translating!”

A flood of horrified emojis, then Su Wang sent a voice message: “The designer is Zhuang Fanxin from China, holy shit! Our neighbor is too awesome!”

Gu Zhuoyan's eyelid suddenly twitched, and an ominous premonition rose within him. As expected, these three would never disappoint him. Lu Wen replied: “God damn it! Gu Zhuoyan's hit the jackpot!”

Lian Yiming: “The competition ended last week, so has our neighbor already returned to the country?”

Su Wang: “Yan, come on out and say something, will you?”

What he feared most had come to pass. Gu Zhuoyan lay on the bed like a dead man. He had previously made confident boasts, even declaring that his confession had a one hundred percent success rate. At this moment, all he could do was clutch his phone and play dead, pretending to be offline.

The three of them continued to chat, guessing whether Gu Zhuoyan had already successfully confessed, confirmed their relationship as a couple, and since it was Sunday, maybe even went on a date. It was like salt being rubbed into Gu Zhuoyan's wounds. He suddenly thought of something and finally spoke up: “That time I took you to the airport, what did you say to Zhuang Fanxin?”

Lian Yiming: “We told him to take care of you. Why are you bringing this up? Have you confessed yet? What stage are you at?!”

Gu Zhuoyan pressed: “You didn't tell Zhuang Fanxin why I transferred schools?”

“No, man, weren't we helping you protect your privacy?” Lu Wen said. “But we did hint that you're gay.”

'Hint, my ass!' Gu Zhuoyan's last shred of hope was shattered. Powerless to answer their persistent questions, he simply muted the group chat. He dragged himself up to take a shower. 'Might as well study. In this world, studying is the only thing guaranteed to give a return.'

Pushing open the study door, he saw the tiny figure of Gu Baoyan hunched over the desk, drawing. Her little face was drooping, and her hair was uncombed. Gu Zhuoyan paused at the door, holding his schoolbag: “Who upset you?”

Gu Baoyan said: “Brother Xiao Zhuang didn't say if he likes me or not. Did he reject me?”

“...” Gu Zhuoyan was in a daze for a moment. 'What the hell, a pair of siblings in misery.' “You're still young, let's not rush things.”

Gu Baoyan had a stubborn expression: “But I still like Brother Xiao Zhuang. It doesn't matter if he rejects me. I'm drawing now, and when I'm done, I'll go find him.”

Gu Zhuoyan asked: “What are you going to find him for?”

“I'll ask him to teach me how to draw, I'm going to pursue him!” Gu Baoyan said, gripping her watercolor brush, her eyes shining brightly. “You said my violin playing was terrible, but I persisted for so long and learned a whole song. Brother Xiao Zhuang doesn't like me now, but if I'm proactive, maybe he'll come to like me.”

Gu Zhuoyan stared at the little girl, stunned for a moment.

He had mistakenly thought Zhuang Fanxin was interested in him, and even though it all turned out to be a fruitless effort, people could change. He could pursue him again, and this time, he could do it openly and honestly. Zhuang Fanxin hadn't explicitly rejected him either. Thinking back on the small moments over the past few months, he refused to believe that every single feeling was just a series of coincidences.

Slamming the door shut, Gu Zhuoyan grabbed the local specialties and the Monchhichi and went to the Zhuang Family's house. Zhao Jianqiu was watering the plants in the garden. Seeing him, she said that Zhuang Fanxin wasn't up yet and told him to go straight upstairs to find him.

Gu Zhuoyan couldn't help but glance at the second-floor bedroom. The curtains were open a crack, and a figure seemed to flash past. He went upstairs to Zhuang Fanxin's room, but no one was there. The sound of running water came from the bathroom. Gu Zhuoyan stopped outside the bathroom. The water kept running; the bathtub should have been full by now. He understood. He said, “Zhuang'er, I've put the things down.”

The footsteps faded. Zhuang Fanxin turned off the water. The toilet lid had grown warm from him sitting on it. Coming out of the bathroom, he saw a bag of local specialties on the rug by his bed. Inside were several kinds of snacks and a box of postcards printed with scenic spots. He flipped through them one by one. The last one had a few words written on it.

—I'll take you out to have fun in the future. The signature was a single, flamboyantly written “Gu”.

Zhuang Fanxin carefully put it away. He looked up and saw the Monchhichi on his headboard, the one Gu Zhuoyan had won for him. Gu Zhuoyan wasn't in an early romance at all, nor did he like Qin Wei or Wang Churan. Gu Zhuoyan liked boys.

Not only did Gu Zhuoyan like boys, the one he liked was him.

Zhuang Fanxin stared blankly at the Monchhichi. Back then at the airport, what Lian Yiming and his friends had said was a hint. Gu Zhuoyan saying the person he liked was the class representative was also a hint. All these things... in truth, there had been a trail of clues all along.

However, he should have followed the trail west, but he had been running east the whole time.

The current situation was beyond what Zhuang Fanxin could handle. It left him even more stunned than when he had stumbled upon Pei Zhi kissing a guy. He didn't know how to face Gu Zhuoyan, so he could only hide. He didn't dare to speak, afraid of saying something that would make Gu Zhuoyan upset, make him regret it, and cause them to lose even their friendship.

A mess. More chaotic than Pollock's No. 5, 1948.

On Monday morning, Zhuang Fanxin left home at half past six and arrived at school at seven, but the gates of Tianji High School weren't even open yet. He drank porridge at a nearby breakfast stall, taking only two sips. A porcelain spoon stirred the fish fillets into smithereens, and the porridge went from hot to cold, earning him several side-glances from the stall owner.

Gu Zhuoyan wheeled his bike out from the end of the alley and ran into Zhuang Xianyang, who was on his way to work. He greeted him, “Good morning, Uncle. Has Fanxin left?”

“He left. I got up early to fry him an egg, but he was already gone.” Zhuang Xianyang smiled, his tone helpless. “He's acting up again. Yesterday he wouldn't eat or drink, just sulked in his room. Don't tell me he's got post-competition depression.”

Gu Zhuoyan gave a small smile, got on his bike, and hurriedly left. He stopped at McDonald's for breakfast on the way and was a bit late, arriving at school just as everyone was heading to the sports field for the flag-raising ceremony. After it was over and they returned to the classroom, the lines broke up on the paved path. A few people separated Gu Zhuoyan and Zhuang Fanxin, like an impassable chasm.

Afraid of being caught up to, Zhuang Fanxin took a detour to the Office Building to pick up test papers, as the first period was English. Passing by an old tree, he stopped and turned back, picking at the rough bark as he peeked toward the entrance of the classroom building. Gu Zhuoyan was conspicuous and went inside with the crowd.

Holding the papers, he returned to the classroom. Class hadn't started yet, and the room was a bit chaotic. Zhuang Fanxin stood at the lecturer's podium to set up the multimedia, erased the blackboard, and helped a lazybones in the front row fetch water, never once lifting his head. His peripheral vision covered the last row, indistinct, but he could vaguely make out Gu Zhuoyan's silhouette.

Returning to his seat, Zhuang Fanxin let out a sigh of relief, yet he clutched his pencil case, feeling a bit lost.

Gu Zhuoyan saw it clearly. Zhuang Fanxin's avoidance was too obvious. His pride was hurt, but he couldn't bear to press him, so he could only watch with his heart in his throat. When Qi Nan passed by his desk, Gu Zhuoyan stopped him and shoved the McDonald's bag at him.

Qi Nan was moved. “Good brother, are you worried I didn't eat enough for breakfast?”

Gu Zhuoyan said: “Help me give this to Zhuang Fanxin.”

Qi Nan rolled his eyes. “Don't tell me you two are in love.”

The words struck a nerve with Gu Zhuoyan, it was killing him. Qi Nan returned to the third row, placed the McDonald's on Zhuang Fanxin's desk, and said, “Gu Zhuoyan sent this for you. You didn't eat?”

The name “Gu Zhuoyan” struck a nerve with Zhuang Fanxin as well. How could he have an appetite? He pretended to open his English book. “I'm not eating. Take it back.”

Qi Nan carried it back and relayed the message. Gu Zhuoyan asked, “He's missed several meals, is he really not hungry?”

Qi Nan walked to the third row again. Zhuang Fanxin replied, “Just leave me alone...”

Qi Nan returned to give back the McDonald's for the last time. “Can you guys just text each other? Stop messing with me.”

The bell for class rang, and Gu Zhuoyan had no choice but to give up. The first half of the class was spent going over test papers. The pile of blank papers Zhuang Fanxin had accumulated was as thick as a small hill, and his back looked flustered as he searched through them. He averted his gaze. Before leaving, he'd said he would find him for tutoring, but now that seemed highly unlikely.

Zhuang Fanxin stared at the paper, feeling like claws were scratching at his heart. He whispered, “Deskmate, take a look and see if Gu Zhuoyan is looking at me.”

Qi Nan glanced back. “He's reading his book.”

For some reason, Zhuang Fanxin felt a little down. Five minutes later, he asked again, “What about now? Is he looking at me?”

Qi Nan took another look. “Nope. Do you want the McDonald's again?”

Zhuang Fanxin didn't ask again, nor did he listen to the lecture, just stared blankly, lost in thought. During the break, Gu Zhuoyan passed by him to get water from the front. He was slumped over his desk, and when he felt Gu Zhuoyan pause beside him, he slumped down even further.

Qi Nan leaned against the wall, witnessing everything, and wondered to himself. When Zhuang Fanxin was away, he had specifically asked him to look after Gu Zhuoyan. Gu Zhuoyan didn't even care about getting into a fight and writing a self-criticism for Zhuang Fanxin's sake. What on earth had turned this pair of loving neighbors into strangers?

'Could it be that Gu Zhuoyan's dog stole the cured meat Zhuang Fanxin's family was sun-drying? Or did Zhuang Fanxin's dad take Gu Zhuoyan's family's parking spot?'

Except for English class, Zhuang Fanxin couldn't understand much of the other subjects, and his attention wasn't focused. The entire morning passed in a daze. At noon, when school let out, the students of Class 3 had a meal together in the cafeteria to celebrate his competition win. He bought another bowl of fish porridge and squeezed into the crowd, far away from where Gu Zhuoyan was sitting.

Gu Zhuoyan noticed. His heart felt heavy, and even breathing was uncomfortable. After a couple of bites, he left the cafeteria. On the way, he ran into those guys from the basketball team. He glanced at them without a word and brushed past. After a few steps, he turned back. “Wait a second.”

The fish fillets were once again stirred to a pulp. Zhuang Fanxin was worried sick. He felt terrible, and seeing Gu Zhuoyan like that made him feel even worse. The Sports Committee Member came back from buying yogurt for Lin Xiao'an at the tuck shop and said anxiously, “This is bad! I saw Gu Zhuoyan leave with the guys from Team One!”

Zhuang Fanxin was startled. “You didn't see wrong, did you?!”

“No!” The Sports Committee Member pointed west. “I hope nothing bad is going to happen...”

Just as everyone was about to discuss a plan, Zhuang Fanxin was already gone, running like the wind. To the west was the location of the little corner. 'What are they doing? Could the basketball team be getting revenge on Gu Zhuoyan?' He wondered if it was because he was running too fast, but his heart was racing, and a layer of hot, damp sweat broke out on his back.

“—Gu Zhuoyan!”

Zhuang Fanxin yelled, skidding to a halt outside the little corner. He saw Gu Zhuoyan and five guys from Team One standing inside... smoking. Everyone looked over. The pure white smoke drifted, but it couldn't hide the displeasure and melancholy in Gu Zhuoyan's expression.

He held his cigarette, his gaze fixed on Zhuang Fanxin. Zhuang Fanxin had avoided him for a day and a half, and he had held himself back from getting close. Now he had run over on his own accord and stood there, so he might as well take a good look.

The others didn't know what to make of it. One was the guy they had beaten up, the other was the guy who had beaten them up. So complicated.

Gu Zhuoyan spoke up: “Could you guys give us some space? Thanks for the smokes.”

The guys from Team One left the nook. Zhuang Fanxin slowly walked in and stopped half a meter from Gu Zhuoyan. The smell of smoke was strong; he moved his lips and inhaled, choking and coughing.

Gu Zhuoyan stubbed out the cigarette butt, waved away the thin smoke, and took a small, subtle step closer. He asked, “Do you hate me?”

Zhuang Fanxin quickly shook his head. “I, I just...”

Gu Zhuoyan cut him off. “You don't have to force yourself to acknowledge me, and you don't have to put so much effort into avoiding me. I feel tired just watching you.” He clenched his jaw, but his voice was very soft. “I won't ride my bike anymore, so you don't have to leave so early. I won't buy McDonald's either; we shouldn't have had that meal in the first place. There's nothing to be done about school, but I'll do my best not to approach you. I keep my promises. Pay attention in class, you don't need to ask Qi Nan to check if I'm looking at you.”

Zhuang Fanxin's flushed face slowly turned pale. He didn't want this.

“Let's just pretend nothing ever happened,” Gu Zhuoyan said. “You'll have to put up with it for a while. I'll be gone in a year.”

That sentence landed like a heavy blow, and Zhuang Fanxin couldn't maintain his composure any longer. He was panicked and timid, rambling incoherently, “I didn't want it to be like this with you. I—it was just too sudden, I didn't know how to handle it. It was me, I haven't handled things well these past two days...”

Zhuang Fanxin's chest heaved. He was so anxious about not being able to express himself clearly that his forehead was covered in sweat. Suddenly, Gu Zhuoyan raised a hand and wiped the sweat away with his palm. He looked up, not daring to move. “What you said just now, were you serious?”

Gu Zhuoyan answered, “Yes.”

“...Is that what you really think in your heart?”

Gu Zhuoyan asked, “Do you want to hear the truth?”

Zhuang Fanxin nodded. The faint scent of tobacco made him feel a little dazed. Gu Zhuoyan looked at him, his expression shifting. His calm mask came off, and he said, almost pleadingly, “Fanxin, can you try to like me?”