His Royal Uselessness

His Royal Uselessness

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Chapter 8 - Chapter 8

"Your Majesty." Eunuch Qingxi came in with mincing steps, holding a letter. "An eight-hundred-li express."

Ji Su immediately put down the imperial brush, reached out to take it, and asked, "Where is it from?"

Eunuch Qingxi took a step back expressionlessly, bowing and scraping as he said, "Quanzhou Prefecture."

Ji Su's expression relaxed slightly. He gave the beaming Eunuch Qingxi a meaningful look before finally unfolding the letter—as expected, it was from Ji Weiqiu.

"He's made some progress, at least." Ji Su's tone was flat, yet tinged with a subtle mockery. "This time, he finally remembered to send a letter to Us."

As for using the eight-hundred-li express without authorization, Ji Su said nothing, waiting for Ji Weiqiu's return to settle this score.

Eunuch Qingxi maintained his smile, nodding repeatedly.

Ji Weiqiu had written in the letter: [We have not corresponded for a long time, and I miss you dearly. Your subject and younger brother has resided on the sea for a long time, which did not agree with me. I am now resting in Quanzhou for a few days; the environment is agreeable. With nothing to do all day, I pass the time playing cards with friends, which is most gratifying. There is no need for you to worry. I have humbly prepared a small gift as a token for my elder brother.]

...What is all this nonsense?

Ji Su thought faintly, 'Only seven or eight days on the ship, and he calls it 'long resided on the sea'? Barely a day in Quanzhou City, and he's 'accustomed to the climate'? And 'nothing to do all day, playing cards with friends, greatly content, no need to worry'?'

Ji Su set the letter aside, but unexpectedly, a sheet of paper fell out from within. Eunuch Qingxi bent down to pick it up and presented it to Ji Su. Ji Su took it, glanced at it, and immediately frowned: [I was attacked today, but was fortunately rescued by the Qingxuan Guard and was not harmed in the slightest. Upon investigation, it was learned to be a misunderstanding. The Prefect of Quanzhou offered a gift to calm my nerves, which was most gratifying. Ganquan Villa is near Liang Manor; your younger brother has long desired it. I hope my elder brother will grant it to me.]

Ganquan Villa was also in the Capital Area, situated on a small mountain. At its peak was a hot spring, built by a cliff. From there, one could overlook Yanjing below and gaze upon the vast starry sky above. Ji Weiqiu had taken a liking to it after going there once with Ji Su as a child, and he would ask Ji Su for it at every opportunity.

Seeing Ji Su silent for a long time, Eunuch Qingxi asked cautiously, "...The Emperor? Could it be that something has happened to His Little Highness?"

Ji Su casually tossed the paper down and sneered, "Something did happen... And he has the gall to ask this of Us."

Eunuch Qingxi hesitated for a moment, then picked up the paper from the floor to read it. When he saw that Ji Weiqiu mentioned an assassination attempt, his heart leaped into his throat. Seeing further that he was completely unharmed, he was relieved and chuckled, "His Little Highness is still so childish!"

He didn't mention anything else, only saying with a grin, "His Highness feels wronged and is complaining to you! In broad daylight, under a clear sky, an assassin actually snuck into the Royal Villa to commit murder. Even if it was a misunderstanding, it's terrifying enough! The Prefect of Quanzhou has been derelict in his duties!"

A prefect is the parental official of a prefecture, responsible for the livelihood of its people. If the area under his governance enjoys favorable weather and the people are prosperous and peaceful, assassins would naturally not appear. Since one did appear, and even managed to sneak into the Royal Villa, the local prefect would first be charged with 'carelessness,' followed by a charge of 'incompetence.' These two crimes could be major or minor, with punishments ranging from a reprimand to the execution of his entire clan, all depending on the Emperor's decision.

Ji Su rested one hand on the desk. The hand was long and slender, lustrous like fine jade. He tapped the desk lightly and sneered again, "He's not wronged, he's clearly blackmailing me."

'That little brat might as well have written plainly in the letter, 'I didn't mention Mother Empress a single time in this letter. This affair was so dangerous! If you don't give me Ganquan Villa, my next letter will tell Mother Empress I was assassinated!''

Eunuch Qingxi gave an apologetic smile. "Your Majesty, about Ganquan Villa..."

"Give it to him."

With that, Ji Su rose and left. Eunuch Qingxi answered, but when he looked up, the emperor was already gone. Seeing that it was almost time for the evening meal, he hurriedly called for Eunuch Xiao Zhuo to make preparations, while he followed a few steps behind to wait for orders under the corridor.

Prime Minister Gu came to the palace today and was granted a meal. Prime Minister Gu could be considered the Emperor's confidant and had dined in the palace quite a few times; he was long accustomed to accompanying the emperor for meals. Today's dishes included a soft-scaled fish, fried so its scales stood up, yet it was exceptionally crispy and fragrant in the mouth. The flesh was plump, tender, and boneless. Even Prime Minister Gu, who was not particularly fond of fish, couldn't help but have a few extra bites. He then sighed with emotion, "Your subject is past the midpoint of my life, and the thing I regret the least is following Your Majesty."

Ji Su glanced up at him, waiting for what would follow.

Prime Minister Gu continued, "If not for Your Majesty granting me this meal, I'm afraid I would never have been fortunate enough to taste the craftsmanship of the Imperial Kitchen in my entire life."

Prime Minister Gu had a refined and noble bearing; when he spoke such words, which bordered on flattery, he did not seem sycophantic. Instead, he had the air of a famous scholar speaking freely from the heart. Ji Su was long used to it.

He looked at the soft-scaled fish. This was the first time this dish had been served. He tried it, and it was indeed delicious. He said, "Reward them."

Eunuch Qingxi, at the side, acknowledged the order and said with a smile, "It seems the Imperial Kitchen will owe His Little Highness a huge favor."

Both Ji Su and Prime Minister Gu looked at him. Eunuch Qingxi explained, "This fish is a specialty of Quanzhou Prefecture, called Plain-robed Fish. It's quite rare and loses its flavor a day after leaving its native waters. The Emperor has decreed that such items, which waste the people's resources, are strictly forbidden from being presented... The Prince of Rui tasted it in Quanzhou Prefecture, found it good, and specially ordered it sent back via the eight-hundred-li express to be presented to Your Majesty."

Prime Minister Gu came to a sudden realization and shook his head with a smile. No wonder an eight-hundred-li express had come straight to the imperial palace today; it was thanks to the Prince of Rui—though he wouldn't dare say this out loud.

The eight-hundred-li express used the finest Mongolian Horses, bred specifically for long-distance travel. Riders and horses were changed repeatedly at post stations along the way. The messenger carried an edict all the way, and anyone who obstructed him would be put to death. Only by these means could they barely cover eight hundred li in a single day. And Yanjing was precisely eight hundred li from Quanzhou City, allowing the fish to arrive in Yanjing just before it lost its flavor.

However, the cost of this was enormous. The finest Mongolian Horses were only raised by the government, each one recorded in the official registers, not to be mobilized for anything less than a matter of national importance. But there was no stopping someone of his eminent status. If he said he was sending a letter and, by the way, asked the messenger to carry an extra basket of fish, who would dare say a single word against it?

Ji Su said faintly, "Did Ci'an Palace get any?"

"Reporting to Your Majesty, Ci'an Palace also received some." Eunuch Qingxi bowed with a smile. "The messenger reported that His Highness was considerate, only instructing them to hurry but also telling them to take care of themselves. He only had them bring back six fish. Two were lost midway, two were presented to Your Majesty, and two were presented to the Empress Dowager."

Ji Su nodded slightly.

Prime Minister Gu looked up at the Emperor and saw his expression was as usual. Having been a minister for many years, he could tell that His Majesty was feeling some unventable frustration. On second thought, perhaps the letter wasn't about anything important. The Prince of Rui had used the eight-hundred-li express, and the Emperor was probably waiting to settle the score later. However, with the delivery of this fish, it seemed he could no longer hold it against him.

After all, his own younger brother was thinking of his elder brother and Mother Empress in the palace, eagerly sending fish back. Although his actions were a bit out of line, they weren't too excessive. Would the Emperor really punish him harshly for such a small matter?

He was afraid that before the paddle was even raised, the Empress Dowager would come, wiping her tears, to snatch the person away. She might even throw herself onto the Prince of Rui and say something along the lines of, 'For such a small matter, if you want to beat your younger brother, you'll have to beat me to death first'...

This wasn't something he was making up; a similar incident had happened a few years ago. At that time, the Prince of Rui had not yet left the palace to establish his own manor but was allowed to go out for leisure. He had apparently eaten something good somewhere and summoned the chef to the palace to present a dish to the Empress Dowager. Unexpectedly, the chef had malicious intent, and the dish was intercepted by the female official in charge of food tasting. The Emperor was furious and sentenced the Prince of Rui to a caning in the court. Just as the Prince of Rui was being held down on a long bench, the Empress Dowager came running, wailing and crying. She threw herself over the Prince of Rui, sobbing, and said those exact words.

Of course, the beating never happened. Who would dare to strike the Empress Dowager with a paddle? Who would dare to pull the Empress Dowager away? The Emperor himself could only stand there and endure the Empress Dowager's scolding, so how could he possibly blame the palace servants?

Thinking of this, Prime Minister Gu lowered his head and smiled to himself.

Ji Weiqiu only dared to use the eight-hundred-li express this one time. If he really used it just for a letter, his brother would beat him half to death when he got back—though not all the way to death.

Ji Weiqiu was in a dark room, listening to the proceedings as if it were a play. Under the combined soft and hard tactics of the Qingxuan Guard and Yun Yin, the chef confessed everything. The assassination attempt was real, but mistaking the person was a lie. The chef was a cook at the villa. His ancestors had been imperial chefs, but later they somehow offended someone and were assigned to a position in the Quanzhou Prefecture villa.

The place was neither far from nor close to Yanjing. Since the villa's construction was completed, all the generations of people qualified to enter it had done so less than twenty times in total. The imperial chef's descendants possessed the skills but could not be transferred back to Yanjing. They could only settle down in Quanzhou, marry, and have children. By this generation, the cook was still a cook, but could no longer be considered an imperial chef. He was a fairly respectable commoner.

But a respectable commoner was still a commoner. The cook had a son who was as beautiful as a fair maiden, quick-witted, and skilled in worldly affairs—excellent material for a scholar-official. The cook joyfully sent him to take the prefectural examination to become a scholar. Unexpectedly, the son left and never returned. The cook begged everyone he could for help and finally found out that his son had been taken a fancy to by a 'nobleman' and had entered his residence to become a page boy.

The cook was struck as if by lightning, but he had no recourse against the prefect. Using his connections in the villa, he managed to get a letter to his son. The son said he was in the residence of Prefect Qian Zhiwei. Through some maneuvering, he was fortunate enough to become a servant under Prefect Qian. In the future, with a bit more maneuvering, he should be able to obtain a steward's position. After a few more years, he would be released from the residence and could still live as a wealthy man.

The cook could do nothing but endure it; after all, it was good enough that his son's life was spared. But who would have thought that a few days ago, he would learn of his son's death? The body had been wrapped in a reed mat and thrown into a mass grave. His son had been beaten to death, not a single piece of flesh on his body left intact. When he learned that Lord Qian was coming to the villa today, he brought a kitchen knife, intending to trade his life for Qian's.

He hadn't expected Ji Weiqiu's arrival, which caused the entire villa to be heavily guarded. From the back kitchen, he had no way to get to the front courtyard. Just then, he saw Ji Weiqiu's party arriving leisurely. He thought that since it was a life for a life anyway, anyone who could enter the Royal Villa must be imperial relatives or nobility. He knew Ji Weiqiu was not Qian Zhiwei, but he deliberately called out the wrong name. This way, even if he were killed by the guards on the spot, Qian Zhiwei would definitely not escape blame—perhaps the nobleman would kill him in a fit of anger?

He knew if he missed this chance, he would never have another opportunity to assassinate Qian Zhiwei, so he acted recklessly.

Ji Weiqiu listened, turning his head to the side with a smile. "He's quite a clever person."

This kind of situation, being mistaken for someone else and nearly assassinated, like some kind of patsy—anyone with a bit of a temper couldn't stand it, let alone imperial relatives like them. If they were to pursue the matter, what was a mere prefect? In a fit of anger, what would it matter if they killed the prefect on the spot? If it was done cleanly, they wouldn't even be charged with the crime of murdering a court official. At worst, they'd get a scolding when they returned.

After all, when you really thought about it, it wasn't their fault. They had suffered in place of someone else, and in place of a villain at that. Who wouldn't be disgusted to learn of it? If this affair was brought before his brother, just based on the two hundred thousand taels of silver and the matter of abducting a commoner, Qian Zhiwei's time as a prefect would be over, and his life would be over as well.

Ji Weiqiu paused, suddenly realizing the meaning behind the look Prefect Qian had given him a few days ago.

Palace Attendant Yun bowed and said, "His Little Highness, this Quanzhou Prefecture is not a good place. Please continue on to Jiangnan."

Ji Weiqiu raised an eyebrow. "Am I supposed to be some kind of good person?"


Skye
Skye

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