His Royal Uselessness

His Royal Uselessness

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Chapter 7 - Chapter 7

Ji Weiqiu chuckled aloud. He said, "You have the wrong person. He is indeed here, but it is not me."

"Your Highness!" Zhou Qing rushed over. Ji Weiqiu had already risen to his feet. He waved his hand casually, "You all deal with it."

Hearing this, Xuan San immediately gagged the cook's mouth tightly with a cloth and dragged the person away. Zhou Qing followed closely behind him, his face ashen. "Your Highness, this subordinate has failed in his duty. Please administer punishment."

Regardless of who the cook intended to kill, allowing him to get so close to Ji Weiqiu was indeed a failure of the Qingxuan Guard. He himself didn't actually feel much about it, but a punishment was unavoidable—if he didn't mete out the punishment, someone else would naturally do it for him back home. At that point, how he would be punished, and how severely, he would have no say in the matter.

Ji Weiqiu thought slowly, 'Thank goodness I was born into this wretched place, giving me over a decade to slowly adapt and find my way. Besides, it didn't matter if I acted a bit out of line when I was young; after all, no one would argue with a child. If I had transmigrated here now, I probably wouldn't last half a month before being locked up in a temple for an exorcism.'

"It is indeed a failure of duty." The sunlight shone on his eyes. He squinted, gazing at the fine scenery outside. "However, you still have duties to attend to later, so I can't very well cripple all of you and disrupt the mission... Three months' salary will be docked, and thirty strokes of the rod. Zhou Qing, as the head of the Qingxuan Guard, you will take the punishment on behalf of your men."

Zhou Qing stopped in his tracks and dropped to one knee. "This subordinate accepts the punishment."

"Mian Li," Ji Weiqiu said without turning his head. "The Qingxuan Guard can't very well beat their own superior. You will supervise the punishment."

Mian Li was Ji Weiqiu's personal attendant. Upon hearing this, he replied, "Yes."

Mian Li said to Zhou Qing with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "Lord Zhou, if you please."

Zhou Qing bowed once more to Ji Weiqiu's back before following Mian Li away. Mian Li walked beside Zhou Qing with his head lowered and taking small, mincing steps. When there was no one else around, he whispered, "Lord Zhou, if it hurts later, be sure to scream."

Zhou Qing didn't understand. When he was actually brought to the punishment hall, the guards of the Prince of Rui swarmed forward, pinning him onto a long bench. As an iron-wrapped rod as thick as an arm fell, he was suddenly stunned, then let out a muffled grunt.

He was a few beats too slow.

Mian Li gave a sinister laugh and said to the guards, "Haven't you eaten? Put some strength into it! Lord Zhou is taking the punishment for forty Qingxuan Guards on his own. It won't do to go easy on him!"

The guards all replied, "Yes." They raised the iron rods high and brought them down heavily. The sound of the rods whistling through the air echoed. Zhou Qing gritted his teeth and endured several blows before he couldn't hold back a miserable scream. His head lolled to the side as if he had fainted.

Soon, the thirty strokes were finished. Blood pooled on the floor. Mian Li came forward, grabbed Zhou Qing's hair, and pulled his head up to look at his face. Seeing him deathly pale, Mian Li snorted sarcastically, "Lord Zhou, are you alright?"

Seeing no reaction from Zhou Qing, he let go. "Today, His Highness is giving a small punishment as a major lesson. The Qingxuan Guard may have impressive origins, but you must not forget your duties!"

He casually pointed to a Qingxuan Guard who was observing the punishment. "Lord Zhou has fainted and has yet to express his gratitude. You can thank His Highness on his behalf!"

That Qingxuan Guard abruptly raised his head, a flash of hidden hatred in his eyes. He took a step forward, knelt, and expressed his thanks, "This subordinate thanks His Highness, the Prince of Rui, for his grace on Lord Zhou's behalf!"

Only then did Mian Li give a satisfied 'hmph' and leave with his men. Several Qingxuan Guards hurried forward to help Zhou Qing up. Zhou Qing's breathing was faint as a thread. He slightly opened his eyes, "Quick..."

They were all brothers who had fought through hails of blades and blizzards of swords; of course, they understood Zhou Qing's meaning. They carried him on their backs towards his room. Zhou Qing's head rested on the Qingxuan Guard's shoulder as he whispered, "...Don't call for a physician..."

"I'm faking it," Zhou Qing said with his eyes closed.

The men were stunned for a moment but quickly concealed it.

Zhou Qing lay on his subordinate's back, his heart filled with complicated feelings.

Of course it was painful. An iron rod striking the body could only be so light. But having been in the palace for a long time, he naturally understood that there was a great deal of art to caning—whether it was to pulp the flesh and break the bones without breaking the skin, or to split the skin and tear the flesh in a way that would heal with some rest... it all depended on the intentions of the one in charge.

The Prince of Rui's intention was obvious: to punish him, to make the punishment known to all, and to have him severely injured and recuperating. In reality, with these injuries, he could cover them with some wound medicine and be moving freely by the day after tomorrow at the latest.

...He didn't know what this Prince was planning. By hiding him away, was he intending to keep him as a trump card? Or was it simply that not punishing him would be insufficient to establish authority, so he put on a show to save his life?

...Should he report this truthfully to His Majesty?

......

On the other side, Qian Zhiwei sat in the hall, waiting until his mouth was dry with thirst, yet he didn't dare drink too much tea. He wanted to ask when His Highness the Prince of Rui would arrive, but a glance around at the palace attendants, who stood respectfully and silently with their eyes downcast like jade statues, instantly made him lose his courage to ask.

Even though he only dared to wet his lips with the tea, the cup eventually became empty. A palace attendant came forward to refill it. He thanked them in a low voice and was just about to take the opportunity to offer some silver when he heard the sound of a chiming stone from deep within the courtyard. His spirits lifted, and he immediately rose to offer a respectful welcome.

He saw a flash of a splendid, autumn-spice colored brocade robe pass the corner of his eye, followed by attendants entering like swallow's wings. He bowed low in salute, "This humble subject, Qian Zhiwei, Prefect of Quanzhou Prefecture, pays his respects to His Highness the Prince of Rui."

"Rise." At the Prince of Rui's voice, Qian Zhiwei straightened up, not daring to lift his eyes. It was not until His Highness the Prince of Rui offered him a seat that he took the chance to sneak a glance. The young man before him wore a wide-sleeved, long robe of autumn-spice color, fully embroidered with ginkgo leaves of the same shade. It was flamboyant and eye-catching, yet his demeanor was leisurely and relaxed. He possessed richly-colored, striking features that overpowered the magnificent brocade robe, making it a mere accessory to his brilliant presence—this was the Prince rumored to be a notorious wastrel?

He was almost stunned by the sight and only awkwardly lowered his gaze after being reminded by a palace attendant's cough. He bowed and said, "This subordinate has been discourteous."

"I was not aware Lord Qian would be coming today and have had some wine." Ji Weiqiu's tone was very amiable. "Is there an important matter for which you sought me?"

Qian Zhiwei breathed a sigh of relief internally. He sounded quite easy to talk to. He cupped his hands and said, "It is this subordinate who has been presumptuous, disturbing Your Highness's peace. This subordinate heard that Your Highness is staying here for a short while and felt uneasy, fearing that my service might be inadequate. I have come specially to pay my respects and have brought some local specialties. I hope Your Highness will accept them."

In truth, having said this much, the meaning was clear. This Qian Zhiwei was here to pay his respects and offer some gifts. It wasn't about trying to build a relationship or curry favor with Ji Weiqiu; he only hoped that Ji Weiqiu would arrive peacefully in the territory of Quanzhou City and also leave peacefully. If possible, in light of the gifts, he hoped the prince would give him, the local magistrate, less trouble. As for putting in a good word for him to the Emperor after returning to the capital... that was something he wouldn't even dare to dream of.

Ji Weiqiu said slowly, "Lord Qian is sincere, and this Prince ought to accept. However, there is a matter that is like a fishbone stuck in this Prince's throat, and I must speak of it."

Qian Zhiwei immediately stood up, bowed, and saluted. Although he didn't know what had happened, relying on his years of experience as an official, he said with a face full of alarm, "Who is so audacious as to dare displease Your Highness?!"

Ji Weiqiu smiled nonchalantly. Palace Attendant Yun took a step forward and said in a soft, gentle voice, "Today, a person came to the villa. In his speech, he mistook His Highness for Lord Qian, spoke malicious words, and wished to put His Highness to death... Lord Qian, do you have any idea about this?"

Qian Zhiwei's face turned ashen. He said hastily, "This subordinate is an upright person and never makes enemies. There must be something suspicious about this matter. I implore Palace Attendant Yun to investigate thoroughly and clear this subordinate's name!"

Palace Attendant Yun's tone was slightly cold, "The assassin has already been brought to justice. Upon investigation..."

"Enough." Ji Weiqiu suddenly interrupted. He looked at Qian Zhiwei with a hint of cynical amusement and said, "Living in this world, how can one not make enemies? Lord Qian is upright; perhaps someone under your charge caused trouble, and Lord Qian has been implicated."

Hearing this, Qian Zhiwei nodded repeatedly as if he had received a grand pardon. "Yes, yes..."

Palace Attendant Yun said with difficulty, "Your Highness! But..."

As if he hadn't heard, Ji Weiqiu looked down at Qian Zhiwei from his high seat. "This Prince has no intention of pursuing this matter. After Lord Qian returns, conduct a thorough investigation. It is a rare occasion for this Prince to come to Jiangnan. Don't let these people spoil my mood!"

Qian Zhiwei broke out in a cold sweat, yet also felt the relief of having survived a deadly ordeal. He immediately knelt and exclaimed, "Yes! This subordinate will definitely conduct a thorough internal and external investigation upon my return and will never again let such trivial matters disturb Your Highness's mood!"

"Mm," Ji Weiqiu replied lightly, then added with a teasing smile, "Alright, it's a small matter. Lord Qian is a magistrate, responsible for an entire prefecture. Don't waste your precious time accompanying this Prince."

Qian Zhiwei immediately kowtowed and took his leave. After he left, Ji Weiqiu lowered his head to drink his tea. Palace Attendant Yun looked at Ji Weiqiu with concern, her tone somewhat complaining, "His Little Highness! You've let this go so easily. How will you establish your authority in the future?"

"Good sister," Ji Weiqiu said with a smile, holding his teacup. "What is there to fuss about? In any case, nothing happened. It's better to suppress it. If Mother Empress finds out, she'll likely have sleepless nights again. Good sister, please don't tell Mother Empress, lest she be worried and frightened."

Palace Attendant Yun also knew this was reasonable. She lowered her head, agreed, and did not press the matter further.

That night, Palace Attendant Yun came to report again, "His Little Highness, that Lord Qian has sent over a gift of apology, saying it's to calm Your Highness's nerves."

As she spoke, Palace Attendant Yun handed over a box. Ji Weiqiu opened it and saw a stack of silver notes inside. Each note was for ten thousand taels of silver, and there were a full twenty of them. Looking further down, there were also the deeds to two farming estates in the Capital Area. At a glance, the two estates combined had about five hundred mu of fertile land.

Palace Attendant Yun said coldly, "What a corrupt official! So much money, who knows how much of the people's blood and sweat he has sucked dry!"

"Shh..." Ji Weiqiu dusted off the silver notes and said with a smile, "Sister Yun, let's not concern ourselves with these things."

Palace Attendant Yun couldn't help but ask, "Why?!"

Ji Weiqiu rested his cheek on one hand, his eyes slightly raised, smiling like a fox. "Imperial Elder Brother sent me out of the capital to pray for Mother Empress's blessings, not to inspect the realm. The affairs of the imperial court are for my Imperial Elder Brother to worry about. Why should I meddle?"

"Besides, we've only just arrived at our first stop. If we execute the prefect within a few days, how will we travel the rest of the way? If we stir up a panic and someone gets desperate, what then? It's better for me, the 'Prince of Peace', to be peaceful! Turning major issues into minor ones, and minor ones into nothing, is the way. Returning to the capital safely is what truly matters." Ji Weiqiu stretched, patted the silver notes again, and winked at Palace Attendant Yun. "Hush money, not bad! Want two notes to line the bottom of your chest?"

Palace Attendant Yun had thought what Ji Weiqiu said made sense, but upon hearing this last part, she became exasperated and said angrily, "Your Highness—!"

Author has something to say:

Ji Weiqiu: I'll just quietly accept the money


Skye
Skye

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