His Royal Uselessness

本王，废物

his-royal-uselessness

Chapter 4

Ji Weiqiu thus flamboyantly led a group of dandies out of Yanjing City. The gentle breeze lifted the carriage curtain, from which a lively noise continuously spilled out.


 “Two of Bamboo, Pong!”


 “Pong what pong, put it down! I won!”


 “What a coincidence, I won too. Zou San, you've allowed two of us to win with one tile!”


 “Awooo—!” A sorrowful and indignant wail startled the passing commoners. They only heard a youth crying out from inside: “Are you even human! You were all just waiting for my Two of Bamboo, weren't you—!”


 “Less nonsense, pay up, pay up! If you don't have money, I'll put it on your tab!”


 A burst of laughter followed. Passersby shook their heads, wondering which family's young masters were so mischievous. Just as they were about to shake their heads and sigh about the stench of wine and meat from the red gates of the rich, they caught sight of the attendants in blue robes and silver armor with long sabers at their waists and dared not utter another word.


 How could anything the Emperor wanted done not come to pass? The four of them played a few rounds of sparrow tiles, and nearly two hours passed. The Grand Canal was right before their eyes. Hearing the sudden silence outside, Young Master Zou San couldn't help but curiously lift the curtain to look. The sight left him speechless: “Wow, this is truly...”


 Outside, armored guards stood in strict formation. Both the docks and the waterway had long been cleared by the imperial guards, forbidding pedestrians and merchants from passing. Only a wide-open path was left for them to travel unimpeded—one must know that these docks were usually bustling with people, with countless goods loaded and unloaded daily. Clearing them out today had obstructed the livelihoods of so many, a true waste of labor and resources.


 Ji Weiqiu, however, simply raised an eyebrow and smiled upon seeing this. He was still holding a gold leaf used as a betting chip, and he frivolously used it to tap Young Master Zou San's chin. “Impressive, isn't it?”


 Young Master Zou San nodded honestly. “Truly impressive.”


 When had they ever seen such a spectacle? Speaking of which, this was the first time they had ever witnessed the proper formal procession for an imperial prince's journey! Yanjing City was not short of powerful and noble figures; if a signboard fell, it could hit three marquises and two dukes. Which of their families didn't have some connections? Normally, when they went out, the most they'd have were a few maids and page boys. Only when the female family members went to the outskirts to offer incense would they bring a couple of guards. Who in Yanjing City would dare put on such a display? That person was still watching from the Imperial City!


 “Usually, you're all so bossy with me. Do you still dare now?” Ji Weiqiu narrowed his eyes, feigning a deep tone. “If you still dare, I'll have someone throw you out of the carriage and beat you black and blue, so you'll never be able to hold your head up again in this life.”


 Young Master Zou San said with a chuckle, “We wouldn't dare, we wouldn't dare. How about we kowtow twice to Your Highness to show our gratitude?”


 Ji Weiqiu sneered and tossed the gold leaf onto the card table. “Even if you wanted to thank me, I wouldn't be pleased to see it... Alright, pack up, let's board the ship.”


 After they disembarked from the carriage, the surrounding commoners performed a half-bow, and the crowd suddenly seemed to shrink by half, a dense, dark mass as far as the eye could see. Despite being in a sea of people, one could only hear the sound of the wind and the water. The warm sunlight reflecting off the iron armor glinted with a chilling light, pressing the entire dock into dead silence.


 Ji Weiqiu led the way off the carriage. The imperial guards bowed in unison, but Ji Weiqiu didn't even glance at them, boarding the ship with his companions, talking and laughing. What was there to see? It's not like he could wave his hand and shout, 'Comrades, you've worked hard!' The longer he lingered here, the longer the road would need to be cleared and controlled. It was better for him to board the ship quickly; once the ship was far enough, the blockade would naturally be lifted.


 The ship began to move slowly. Ji Weiqiu looked back at the shore and thought to himself... 'This is too arrogant.'


 This was the standard protocol for a prince's journey, but it didn't mean it had to be used every time. For instance, in the eighteen years he had lived in Yanjing, the only time this protocol had been used was on the day he left the palace to establish his own manor. If this protocol were used daily, given his nature of going out to play every few days, would the commoners of Yanjing even be able to live their lives?


 This spectacle wasn't arranged by him, so it was obvious who had. It couldn't have been his old mother, could it? If his old mother had been behind it, she wouldn't have arranged for several hundred imperial guards to clear the way for him; she would have had several hundred imperial guards accompany him.


 This trip was just a trivial matter. Anyone interested could find out about it with a simple inquiry. There was no need to put on such a display. He had no idea what his older brother was thinking, arranging this for him.


 His older brother once said that if you can't see through something, you should first look at the outcome. Even if you're not a hundred percent right, you can still guess fifty or sixty percent of it... But anyone can be a Zhuge Liang in hindsight; few can know the outcome in advance.


 Fortunately, Ji Weiqiu knew the ending, so he could probably figure out seventy or eighty percent of it. For some reason, he suddenly felt like sighing, but then he found it strangely interesting—Mother Empress was still around. In the original novel, the Prince of Rui had rebelled several times and, in the end, was only sentenced to life imprisonment. Since he wasn't going to rebel, he couldn't think of any reason his brother would have to kill him!


 Thinking of it this way, it was practically his brother letting him show off in a big way! Perhaps he was using this to warn all the petty villains to behave themselves and not to provoke him.


 “Your Highness.” The Qingxuan Guard's Vice Commander, Zhou Qing, announced from outside the curtain without entering. He detailed the surrounding defensive arrangements for him, even mentioning where he should escape if the ship were to be destroyed and lives lost. Ji Weiqiu rested his cheek on one hand and smiled, “I know. You've all been busy all day, go and rest. By the way, I remember there are a few skilled swimmers among the Qingxuan Guard?”


 “Yes, what are Your Highness's orders?” The bamboo curtain obscured the Prince of Rui's face, making it indistinct. The blood-red sunset reflected on the young prince's profile, so intense it was almost breathtaking. Zhou Qing glanced once and dared not look again, bowing as he asked.


 Ji Weiqiu thought for a moment and said, “Assign two of them to me.”


 Just as Zhou Qing was about to agree, he heard the other murmur, “Since they're good swimmers, they must be good at fishing too, right? We can catch some fish to eat tonight when the ship stops...”


 This wasn't the first time Zhou Qing had served Ji Weiqiu. After hearing this, he suppressed a laugh, agreed, and took his leave. He thought to himself that he had to go back quickly and ask who was a good swimmer and also knew how to fish... If that didn't work, he'd just assign a few more men. It wouldn't do to spoil His Highness's good mood.


 The dandies had been in the carriage for two hours, and once on the ship, they scrambled for cabins. Now that they had all settled in, they had no energy for antics and were taking short naps in their rooms to recuperate.


 Ji Weiqiu was the same. Although he was in the prime of his youth, his long-standing habits made him feel sleepy, so he went to take a restorative nap. In less than half an hour, he was gently woken by an attendant. After washing up and changing his clothes, it was about time for dinner.


 When Ji Weiqiu arrived at the flower hall, Zou San, Zhang Er, and Ji Liu also arrived, full of vigor. Having grown up in Yanjing, they had rarely left the city. Aboard the ship, the dishes naturally consisted mostly of fresh river delicacies. Although they were used to eating rare and exotic foods, their appetites were greatly whetted by these freshly caught river treats.


 Ji Liu was the third young master of the Imperial Clan Prince's Manor, with the formal name Ji Weimian. He was Ji Weiqiu's paternal cousin and was a year older. However, imperial princes and imperial clan members were not ranked together. Their relationship was one where they would go through thick and thin for each other—among their generation, there were only a few siblings and cousins. They were close in age and had compatible temperaments, so it was hard for their relationship not to be good.


 Seeing Zou San and Zhang Er in high spirits from drinking, he quietly nudged Ji Weiqiu's arm and whispered, “What's going on today? With such a grand display outside, what on earth did that person send you to Jiangnan for?”


 Ji Weiqiu stopped after two cups of wine; he couldn't hold his liquor well. Hearing this, he smiled and said, “What else could it be? He's letting me go out to play... And on the way, help my Mother Empress offer incense at a few efficacious temples to pray for peace and health.”


 “Just that?... Do you believe it?” Ji Liu lowered his voice even more. “I consider you a brother! You know that in this dynasty, a prince cannot leave the capital without permission... This doesn't seem right. You should be careful!”


 “Oh.” Ji Weiqiu's expression was a little lax. He teased, “If that were really the case, you'd have been dragged into this mess by me...”


 Ji Liu 'tsked'. “Don't I know you? When you invite us to have fun, you really just mean to have fun. How could you have thought so much about it?... But it's good that you invited us. An imperial prince, an imperial clan member, plus a Grand Secretary and a Vice Minister of Revenue... I can't imagine who would dare to touch us.”


 With this lineup, anyone who harbored ill intentions would be like an old god of longevity hanging himself—tired of living!


 Ji Weiqiu blinked, as if just coming to his senses, and said with a sudden laugh, “...That's true.”


 He raised his voice, “Everyone save some room, we're going fishing later! They say that freshly caught fish makes the most delicious fish slices...”


 Everyone cheered in agreement, grinning as they put down their chopsticks and excitedly went to the side of the ship to fish. They caroused for most of the night, only dispersing when the sky began to lighten—the ship would be sailing during the day anyway, and none of them were used to boat travel. Rather than be rocked by the boat until they felt nauseous, it was better to just sleep and let it rock!


 A carrier pigeon flew across the sky.


 The Qingxuan Guard's Vice Commander, Zhou Qing, watched the carrier pigeon fly into the distance and breathed a sigh of relief. Just as he was about to turn and leave, the window of the main cabin opened, and a slender hand holding a plump white pigeon reached out. Zhou Qing was stunned for a moment, and then he saw the incomparably handsome face of His Highness, the Prince of Rui.


 “Your Highness?”


 Ji Weiqiu yawned and said lazily, “What a coincidence. You're here to release a pigeon too?”


 Zhou Qing bowed his head. Although the act of guarding His Highness the Prince of Rui while sending a message to the Emperor was not exactly a secret, being confronted with it face-to-face left him too embarrassed to know how to respond. Yet, he couldn't not answer, so he could only force out a single word: “Yes.”


 “Mm, me too.” Ji Weiqiu placed the pigeon on the windowsill. The pigeon tilted its head and stared at him foolishly, not knowing to fly. It only took flight after Ji Weiqiu flicked it in annoyance, stumbling through the air in the direction of Yanjing.


 Ji Weiqiu yawned again. “Since you've already seen, prepare a few pigeons for me tomorrow. The ones I raise don't seem to be as good as yours.”


 Zhou Qing: “...Yes!”


 ......


 The pigeon flew back just as Ji Su was rising. Eunuch Qingxi entered holding a letter and reported, “Your Majesty, the carrier pigeon messages from Commander Zhou and His Little Highness have arrived.”


 Ji Su took them with a placid expression. After just a glance, the space between his brows twitched.


 A carrier pigeon can only carry a limited amount of information. Ji Weiqiu's message consisted of two small strips of paper. The first strip was written in large characters. The first sentence read: All is well, I send my greetings for Your Majesty's health. The second sentence was: The second strip of paper is to report my well-being to Mother Empress, I'll trouble Imperial Elder Brother to pass it on!


 The second strip of paper was densely filled with small characters. With a quick scan, Ji Su could see it described what he played and ate today, asked what the Empress Dowager was eating and playing and if she was sleeping well, mentioned how his Imperial Elder Brother had let him use the princely procession which was incredibly impressive, and that the river delicacies were good and he had already sent some back to the capital by express horse... and so on.


 Ji Su snorted softly and finally tossed the strip of paper to Qingxi. “Send it to Ci'an Palace.”


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Chapter 4 - Chapter 4

Skye