His Royal Uselessness

本王，废物

his-royal-uselessness

Chapter 3

"What's going on?" Ji Weiqiu heard some commotion outside and asked casually.


 A servant respectfully replied, "Reporting to the Prince, the palace has bestowed some food and supplies, and we are currently organizing them."


 "Is it a lot?" Ji Weiqiu was a little curious. Most of the servants here came from the palace and were extremely strict with rules. Usually, whenever something was bestowed by the palace, it was put away silently. How could it have disturbed him?


 As for why he wasn't told, there was nothing much to say. The palace often bestowed things, usually sent by his Mother Empress. Even if he simply found a certain fruit tasty one day, the Empress Dowager would have someone send it over. He had just said yesterday that he was going to Jiangnan, so he presumed his Mother Empress was afraid he would lack food and supplies on the road and had anxiously sent people over with them.


 Just as he was about to go out and take a look, he heard a servant announce, "Prince, Eunuch Qingxi has arrived."


 Ji Weiqiu nodded, and saw Eunuch Qingxi had already entered. Following behind him was a young eunuch with refined features, holding a roll of bright yellow Imperial Edict. Seeing he was still on the couch, Eunuch Qingxi hurried forward, "Aiyo, my little ancestor! Don't get up, the weather is cool, be careful not to catch a chill!"


 'Just yesterday I nearly got a beating for not kneeling properly,' Ji Weiqiu thought. 'If I don't get up to receive the edict today, perhaps my head will be hanging in Prime Minister Wang's home tomorrow?'


 Seeing Ji Weiqiu reach out to lift the thin blanket, Eunuch Qingxi quickly stepped forward and pressed down the edge of the blanket, saying, "Don't you understand the Emperor's temperament? Yesterday, someone happened to offend Your Majesty, and you unfortunately followed right after... This old servant will risk death to say, how can real brothers hold a grudge overnight? The Emperor did not sleep well last night, and before dawn today, he sent this old servant to his private treasury to pack things to bring to Your Highness!"


 Eunuch Qingxi had been serving The Empress since he was ten. Later, when he was eighteen, Ji Su was born, and he began to serve by Ji Su's side. If anyone else had said these words, they would have long been beheaded by Ji Su, but when Eunuch Qingxi said them, it was of no consequence.


 Ji Weiqiu was also quite close to Eunuch Qingxi. Back then, the Mother Empress's palace was unsafe, so Ji Su raised him, and Eunuch Qingxi naturally took care of him as well. His older brother couldn't possibly feed him and change his diapers every day; wet nurses handled these things. Besides, his brother didn't have the time back then. To be honest, he saw Eunuch Qingxi more often than he saw his brother.


 Hearing this, Ji Weiqiu felt there was a seventy or eighty percent chance it was true. After all, it was a bond of more than a decade. Ji Weiqiu thought about it and decided to let it go—for someone like Eunuch Qingxi, who served his brother personally, to say this to him was no different from Ji Su apologizing in person. Without his brother's instruction, Eunuch Qingxi wouldn't dare say something so presumptuous. Now that gifts had also been sent, the apologies and amends were all complete. He might as well take the offered way out.


 Had it been anyone else, if Ji Su had lost his temper, that would have been that. The other person could only endure it. Let alone have Qingxi come to pass on a message and explain? If you're not convinced, you hold it in! Not only must you hold it in, but you must also gratefully submit a petition for punishment. Who would dare to give the Emperor an attitude? To dare to cause a scene, you must dare to die! Not only must you dare to die yourself, but you must also have the resolve to take your entire family, young and old, along with you!


 Imperial power was just that unreasonable, especially for someone like his brother who ascended the throne by killing his father and brothers; his hand had never been soft. Although he hadn't heard of anyone's entire clan being executed in the past two years, the skies above Yanjing were once stained with the color of blood from all the killing, obscuring the sun and moon.


 Seeing Ji Weiqiu's expression soften, Eunuch Qingxi waved his hand, and Eunuch Xiao Zhuo presented the Imperial Edict. Ji Weiqiu opened it and glanced over it. The edict was drafted by the Grand Secretariat. Putting aside the beautiful words of praise, the general meaning was to have him go to several famous temples in Jiangnan to offer incense, pray for the Empress Dowager's health and well-being, and return to the capital within half a year.


 Ji Weiqiu casually placed the Imperial Edict to the side, making Eunuch Qingxi's eyelids twitch. Ji Weiqiu smiled, "Does my brother... Imperial Elder Brother have any other instructions? Is he just letting me go have fun?"


 Going to offer incense... isn't that just having fun?!


 Eunuch Qingxi said cheerfully, "The Emperor indeed has no other instructions. Your Little Highness, just go and have peace of mind!"


 As he spoke, Eunuch Qingxi took a pearl- and jade-inlaid token from his sleeve and stuffed it into Ji Weiqiu's hand. He said in a low voice, "The Emperor asked me to give this to you for protection. Keep it on your person. If you encounter someone who truly doesn't know their place, Your Highness should just take it out and use it."


 Ji Weiqiu held the token, examining it for a long time. Eunuch Qingxi stared at him, thinking that His Little Highness must be too moved for words, when he heard Ji Weiqiu say, "...It's heavy. Do I really have to carry this on my person?"


 Ji Weiqiu lifted it by its cord and swung it a little. The solid gold token pulled the cord taut. The thing didn't look big, but it weighed at least two jin, and with the inlaid jewels and jade, the weight was heading towards three jin! No joke, if this thing were tied to a belt, the belt would be pulled down. If placed in a sleeve pocket, the sleeve could be used as a weapon!


 "Does my Imperial Elder Brother also carry this on his person? How does he wear it, and where? Isn't he afraid it'll weigh down his neck? What about his belt? What if the belt gets pulled off after taking two steps?"


 "..." Eunuch Qingxi really had no answer to that. He blinked and said, torn between laughter and tears, "Your Little Highness, this is the Emperor's Golden Command Token! With it, you can mobilize the garrisons of various regions. You must not misplace it. It would be disastrous if you lost it!"


 "I know." Ji Weiqiu played with the Golden Command Token, shaking his head with a smile. "Next time, tell my Imperial Elder Brother to make something else. He doesn't have to be so sincere. It's terribly heavy. Wouldn't a piece of jade be much better? Just make it the size of a plain pendant, easy to carry around and hang on the neck. Jade also has patterns, making it hard to imitate. With solid gold, any goldsmith can make a copy..."


 'Who in this world would dare to forge the Emperor's Golden Command Token for deploying troops?' Eunuch Qingxi thought. 'Are they truly not afraid of death?!' But then he felt that what Ji Weiqiu said made a lot of sense. Others were afraid of having their entire clan executed, but if one was already in the business of getting their entire clan executed, then they wouldn't be afraid...


 Eunuch Qingxi offered a few more words of advice and took his leave. Seeing that Ji Weiqiu intended to depart before the afternoon, he quickly bid farewell to return to the palace and report. He got into the carriage, and Eunuch Xiao Zhuo followed. Eunuch Xiao Zhuo solicitously poured him a cup of tea, "Master, have some tea!"


 Eunuch Qingxi suddenly grabbed his arm. Eunuch Xiao Zhuo's arm shook, nearly spilling the tea. He said in surprise, "Master?!"


 Eunuch Qingxi lowered his voice and said sternly, "Boy, keep what you just saw in your heart and keep your mouth shut tight. If a single word gets out, no one can save your life!"


 Eunuch Xiao Zhuo nodded repeatedly. He didn't know what specific thing Eunuch Qingxi was referring to, but he agreed subconsciously. Only then did Eunuch Qingxi release his hand, take the teacup, and slowly sip from it. "I am doing this for your own good. When serving by the Emperor's side, the first thing you must learn is to have a tight lip!"


 "Yes, yes, this disciple understands. Master, please rest assured!"


 Eunuch Qingxi returned to the palace to report. Before entering Qingning Hall, he put on a face full of smiles, went in, and bowed smartly, "Your Majesty."


 "Mm." Ji Su was leaning against a Go board. On the board, black and white stones were locked in a fierce battle, reaching a stalemate. It was unclear why the game had stopped there.


 Without waiting for the Emperor's question, Eunuch Qingxi smiled and said, "His Little Highness is still so childlike. This old servant will be presumptuous and say, it's no wonder the Empress Dowager is always worried... When this old servant arrived, His Little Highness was still a bit downcast. But after receiving the Imperial Edict and the Golden Command Token, he was all smiles again. When this old servant was leaving, I even heard His Little Highness excitedly calling for things to be packed!"


 "He's naturally happy to be able to leave the capital." Ji Su rested his chin on one hand and said this nonchalantly.


 Eunuch Qingxi's expression flickered slightly. Fortunately, his head was bowed, so no one saw. He playfully replied, "It's natural for His Little Highness to be happy. This old servant hasn't studied for many years, but I know that many poems describe the beautiful scenery of Jiangnan! His Little Highness has been reading books since he was young, so he must have been yearning for it for a long time!"


 "You old servant, you're quite crafty." Ji Su knew that Qingxi was intentionally protecting Ji Weiqiu and said plainly, "Did he say anything else?"


 "Of course, he did." Eunuch Qingxi said with a smile, "His Little Highness asked this old servant if Your Majesty also carries that Golden Command Token on your person. He wondered if such a heavy thing would weigh down one's neck. He also said that when he returns, he wants to suggest to Your Majesty to change it to jade, as it might be more comfortable to wear."


 He didn't dare mention the part about 'hard to imitate' that followed.


 Ji Su scoffed and opened his eyes. His gaze was deep and profound. "He's gotten picky now."


 Eunuch Qingxi could only give a dry laugh—what else could he say?


 Ji Su paid it no mind. His gaze shifted to the window. The sunlight outside was just right. Calculating the time, Ji Weiqiu should be out of Yanjing by now.


 In reality...


 "Prince, are you going on a long journey? Where to? Take me with you!" This was the good-for-nothing younger brother of Prime Minister Gu's family.


 "Yo, Your Highness, where are you off to with such a large procession? If you don't mind, take me along!" This was the good-for-nothing youngest son of the Vice Minister of Revenue.


 "Hey, hey, hey, Weiqiu, why are you leaving? Where are you going? Didn't we agree to have a cricket fight today?" This was the second young master from the Imperial Clan Prince's family.


 Ji Weiqiu sat in the carriage with his legs crossed, lifted the curtain, and said with a grin, "To Jiangnan. Are you guys coming?"


 The group of dandies thought it was some fun activity. Hearing his words, they were stunned for a moment, then it dawned on them—wasn't this even more fun?!


 So they all started chattering at once, asking, "To Jiangnan? Your Highness, why are you going to Jiangnan?"


 Ji Weiqiu's expression shifted, showing an indescribable vivacity. He pointed to the sky, "Through official channels. Are you coming or not?"


 How could they possibly refuse? It was just that the matter was sudden, and it was to such a distant place. It wasn't that they were unwilling, but that their families probably wouldn't agree. A clever one had already leaped onto Ji Weiqiu's carriage, "Weiqiu, lend us your carriage, we'll go first! My family's carriage can follow later!"


 After speaking, he even kicked his personal page, "Hurry back and report to my father! Just say I've gone down to Jiangnan with His Highness the Prince of Rui!"


 The page: "...Huh?"


 Although he didn't quite understand, he still hurried back home.


 The second young master of the Imperial Clan Prince gave the others a meaningful look!


 The other dandies heard this and, whoa, it made perfect sense! If they went home to ask, their families definitely wouldn't let them go. Even if they agreed, wouldn't the family have to pack and prepare? Looking at the Prince of Rui's setup, he was definitely leaving Yanjing today. By the time their families were ready, how could they possibly catch up? It was better for them to go now, and just have fun wherever they ended up. Even if their families disagreed and sent people after them, they could just come back then! When they returned, they could just say it was an enthusiastic invitation from His Highness the Prince of Rui that they couldn't refuse, and that would be the end of it?!


 After all, they had been messing around together for several years and often did this sort of thing. They had a tacit understanding.


 In an instant, several dandies had boarded Ji Weiqiu's carriage, leaving only their respective pages staring at each other in bewilderment.


 "Young Master! Young Master... this... isn't..."


 Qingning Hall.


 Eunuch Qingxi received a secret report from the Qingxuan Guard. After a glance, he presented it to the Emperor with a wry smile, "Your Majesty, a report from the Qingxuan Guard says that His Little Highness... His Little Highness... invited several friends to go down to Jiangnan with him!"


 Ji Su took the slip of paper, and a hint of a smile actually flashed in his eyes. He said, "Let them pass."


 'Clever enough.'

His Royal Uselessness

His Royal Uselessness

Chapter 3 - Chapter 3

Skye