Heaven and Earth as Subjects

Heaven and Earth as Subjects

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Chapter 19 - Profaning the Moon - "I don't hate you."

For this trial, "Recognize the Bone," Yin Yu did not reveal all the arrangements.

Shen Mengzhi and his group were led by her to a side hall, separated into different small rooms. Unlike "Recognize the Sound," the rooms had no windows or candlelight, pitch-black, where nothing could be seen with the naked eye. Even so, to prevent them from speaking out to alert their companions after recognizing them, their eyes were still covered with a layer of black cloth.

After his vision was taken away, the perception of time became exceptionally long. Shen Mengzhi was not used to this feeling, so he lightly tapped the bed couch beneath him with his knuckles, silently counting to keep time in his mind.

After tapping a few hundred times, he furrowed his brows slightly.

So much time had passed, yet no one had come. This was completely different from before.

Shen Mengzhi clenched his fingers, a sliver of doubt rising in his heart.

'Could something have gone wrong?'

The rhythm of his tapping faltered for a beat. The unease he had deliberately ignored before surged back into his heart.

At that time, Chu Jin's change seemed a bit strange. The gaze that fell upon him was even a little chilling... as if some disguise had been torn away.

Shen Mengzhi wished he could go back in time and ask clearly, which would be better than sitting here now, letting his imagination run wild.

Before he could figure it out, he heard the light sound of the door and someone walked in.

Even knowing that the room was pitch-black, so dark one couldn't see their own hand, Shen Mengzhi still felt a sense of unease in that instant. He didn't know who had come, nor could he see their movements. This long wait had become exceptionally torturous.

After a moment of stalemate, the person opposite finally walked toward him.

Perhaps because the room was too dark, he walked very slowly, appearing exceptionally composed.

The moment he entered, Shen Mengzhi had already forgotten to count time, only hearing the sound of footsteps gradually overlapping with his heartbeat.

Thump, thump.

The person slowly walked up to Shen Mengzhi, then squatted down to be level with him. Warm breath spilled onto the side of his face, causing a ticklish sensation.

'Is it Chu Jin?'

Time passed, second by second, and Shen Mengzhi's thoughts grew more and more tangled. Just then, the person finally made a move.

He leaned over slightly, his cool fingertips gently resting on Shen Mengzhi's forehead.

That hand slowly traced down along the curve of his brow bone, delicately outlining the area around his eyes. His dark eyelashes fluttered lightly, like the beating wings of a butterfly in his hand, a soft, rustling flutter.

Afterward, with a force that could not be ignored, the hand moved like a brushstroke, tracing along his sharp jawline to the end, then gently rubbing the delicate skin of his chin. After tracing the general outline, the owner of the hand was still not satisfied. As if seeking more detail, his fingertips moved down from between Shen Mengzhi's eyebrows, slid over the high bridge of his nose—whether intentionally or not, the touch was so light it was ticklish—and finally came to rest right between his lips, perfectly blocking the words Shen Mengzhi was about to say.

If he were to speak, his lips would gently rub against the fingertip pressed against them. Despite this, Shen Mengzhi still moved his lips, his chaotic breath spilling onto the person's finger: "......Chu Jin?"

A trace of warmth from their earlier skin-to-skin contact still lingered on the side of his face. Not only did it not dissipate, but it burned hotter and hotter. Fortunately, his vision was completely dark, so no one could see his unusual state.

Shen Mengzhi knew the other person must have recognized his lip movements, yet he remained silent. A sense of annoyance arose in his heart, and he repeated, "Chu Jin!"

His tone was slightly higher, as if that could conceal the emotions he had yet to calm.

"Shh—"

Chu Jin released the hand on his lips, instead using the pad of his finger to brush against the corner of his mouth, the gesture gentle and affectionate. This action was incredibly intimate, clearly unsuitable for their current identities. Shen Mengzhi's heart skipped a beat, and he subconsciously turned his face away.

Chu Jin's hand paused in mid-air, then he withdrew it as if nothing had happened and smiled. "Senior Brother is so stingy."

Shen Mengzhi waited until the heat on his cheeks and behind his ears subsided before saying in a forcedly calm tone, "Did the Heir learn these skills in the brothels of Old Qin?"

He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. Not wanting to hear the answer, he closed his eyes in resignation.

But Chu Jin thought he was being sarcastic. He stared at Shen Mengzhi's face hidden in the darkness, his eyes flickering. After a long moment, he said, "Yes. Do you find it disgusting?"

His tone was lighthearted, but his expression held no trace of a smile. In the places where light couldn't reach, the gloom and ruthlessness in his very bones began to fester, yet he desperately suppressed and restrained it, not wanting Shen Mengzhi to notice anything unusual.

Seeing Shen Mengzhi remain silent, Chu Jin patiently asked again, "Because you find it disgusting, you hate me, right?"

Let alone Shen Mengzhi, even he himself didn't realize the deep-seated unwillingness buried in that sentence.

Yes, he was just a vermin living a sordid existence, never seeing the light of day amidst the life-and-death struggles of royal power. He knew it was impossible, yet the secretly budding desire surged through his entire being, making him stubbornly want to touch, to trace that person's features.

His heart was not pure.

Perhaps it started from when that person applied medicine for him at the foot of Heshan, or perhaps from when they danced with swords at Qingxue Cliff, but he could no longer face this person with a clear conscience.

Even if one is rotten as dust and mud, one still yearns for the company of the bright moon.

Shen Mengzhi struggled to open his eyes, his gaze falling on his face. His expression was first one of confusion, then, as if something had been exposed, a thin layer of anger colored his eyes.

"Is that what you think?" he couldn't help but repeat. "Is that how you see me?"

"I have never thought of you in any particular way, nor do I hate you."

Shen Mengzhi's lips trembled. He was always used to burying things in his heart and rarely had moments of baring his soul to someone. He felt even the tips of his ears burning.

But for some reason, he felt that if he didn't explain clearly, he would never have another chance.

He tentatively reached out a hand, but it was grabbed by Chu Jin. He was half-kneeling on the ground, looking at Shen Mengzhi with a focused expression, and said, "Senior Brother, can you say that again?"

The room was silent, their breaths intermingling, their breathing chaotic and their hearts unsettled.

Heat transmitted through the layer of fabric from his wrist, and Shen Mengzhi's heart beat rapidly. In a low voice, with a tone that was inexplicably reassuring, he said again, "I don't hate you."

After a long moment, he heard Chu Jin laugh.

The laughter was light and carried a hint of relief, and then Shen Mengzhi felt his hand being released.

Chu Jin raised his head slightly, seeming to want to say something more, but a knock sounded from behind him. Qi Yu's voice came from far outside the door: "Time's up, you should come out!"

His arrival was both too timely and not timely at all, cutting off what Chu Jin was about to say. He retracted his gaze, swallowed the words that lingered on his lips and tongue, and stood up.

Shen Mengzhi's questioning gaze fell on him.

"It's nothing," Chu Jin said. "Let's go."

"Jiang Zhen, what's wrong with you?"

Shen Mengzhi's train of thought was abruptly broken. He turned his head and met Qi Yu's suspicious gaze.

He said unnaturally, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Qi Yu repeated in a strange tone, then said seriously, "Everything about you is off!"

"Song Sifan told me, your expression was strange even before you went into the room, and it's even stranger now that you're out... Huh, now that I look closely, why is your face a little red?"

As he spoke, he leaned closer, wanting to get a better look.

Looking closer, it seemed that not only was his face a bit red, but his neck and earlobes were too...

Shen Mengzhi abruptly turned his head away, leaving him with the cold back of his head, and said calmly, "It was too hot in the room."

His movement was so large that it revealed the deep line of his neck. The loose collar exposed a sliver of his porcelain-white neck. It was slender, and from the collarbone up, it was evenly covered in a faint pink hue.

His expression was overly calm, and he said it so matter-of-factly that Qi Yu easily believed him. "Oh, no wonder. When I touched Song Sifan, his face was a little warm too."

"..."

From a distance, Song Sifan shouted angrily, "Qi Yu!"

Qi Yu turned a deaf ear, but then he heard Shen Mengzhi ask, "You recognized him?"

"Of course. Guess how I recognized him?"

Since he asked like that, it was obviously not by any proper method. Shen Mengzhi shook his head. "I can't guess."

Qi Yu lowered his voice and said mysteriously, "It was so dark in that room, I couldn't see a thing, so I just felt around! And guess what! I pulled back his upper lip and felt his teeth."

"..." Shen Mengzhi didn't know what to say. "You recognized him by his teeth?"

Qi Yu said righteously, "Song Sifan has canine teeth!"

Shen Mengzhi asked, "Is that so?"

Qi Yu nodded. "Yeah, they show when he smiles. You guys can't see them because he keeps a straight face every day."

Shen Mengzhi gave him a complicated look but didn't say anything. Instead, Qi Yu asked, "What about Brother Chu? How did he recognize you?"

"..." Shen Mengzhi recalled the scene in the dark room and said uncertainly, "I don't know either."

His thoughts suddenly drifted far away.

'If Qi Yu hadn't interrupted then, what would Chu Jin have said?'

'And what was I expecting?'

Ever since making a grave mistake in his youth, he had sealed his heart and locked away his desires, becoming slow to his own feelings, and had passed four or five years in a muddle. Now, thinking carefully about his attitude toward Chu Jin, he felt as if there was a membrane over his heart. It was so thin it would break with a single poke, yet he dared not act.

But then he heard Qi Yu shout, "Brother Chu!"

Shen Mengzhi looked up and saw Chu Jin looking over. Their gazes met for an instant, then moved away, as if everything that had happened in the dark room was just an illusion.

Qi Yu had already familiarly draped an arm over his shoulder and teased, "Brother Chu, what secrets were you two whispering in the dark room earlier? Why did you stay in there for so long?"

Chu Jin shot him a half-smile. "I don't recall going over the time. Did Brother Qi come knocking in such a hurry because you were afraid Senior Brother Jiang and I would start a fight?"

"..." Qi Yu covered his mouth and gave a light cough. "I was just being concerned."

Seeing the smile on the other's lips become increasingly insincere, Qi Yu, knowing he was in the wrong, hastily changed the subject and slipped away as if his feet were greased. "I still don't know the rules for the next trial. You two chat, I'm going to go discuss things with Song Sifan!"

He came like the wind and left like the wind. In a flash, only Shen Mengzhi and Chu Jin were left facing each other. Shen Mengzhi finally endured the unspeakable turmoil in his heart. After a moment of speechlessness, he threw Qi Yu's question right back at him: "How did you recognize me?"

Chu Jin said, "A scent."

Shen Mengzhi asked, "A scent?"

"On Lueying Mountain within the borders of Old Qin, there is a type of Snow-Lying Pine. Its resin is refined into a spice called Thousand Mountains Reflecting Snow." Chu Jin's gaze landed on him as he said slowly, "That day, in front of the academy, when you applied medicine to my palm, I smelled a similar fragrance from your hair."

"So, I recognized you the moment I entered the room."

Shen Mengzhi recalled the scene. "Then why didn't you just tell me directly, and instead you still..."

He couldn't continue the 'still...' The heat that had finally faded from around his ears and the back of his neck came rushing back, cutting off his words. To make matters worse, Chu Jin was right beside him, patiently coaxing, "Still what?"

"..." Shen Mengzhi took a deep breath. "You really are..."

'No wonder he said he had a way to find me.'

"One must still go through the motions," Chu Jin said. "Besides, Senior Brother's bone structure is indeed very beautiful."

Although it was a slightly frivolous statement, when it came from his mouth, it sounded incredibly sincere, almost like ardent praise, with a hint of imperceptible tenderness.

Shen Mengzhi's heart skipped a beat. He subconsciously turned his face away, his gaze shifting elsewhere. "I have something else to talk to you about."

Chu Jin was a little surprised. "What?"

His features were bright and gorgeous like a colored painting, but Shen Mengzhi knew that in the dark, he was gloomy and perverse, completely detached from his flamboyant surface.

Fang Hechao's voice inexplicably rang in his mind—

"'The reputation of this Heir of Old Qin is indeed not much to speak of—a libertine who doesn't involve himself in politics, unlike his ambitious brothers. But do you think there is truly anyone in this world who has no desire for, no awareness of, the supreme imperial throne? What if he has an exquisitely clever heart that he deliberately conceals?'"

Shen Mengzhi silently clenched his fingers, then slowly relaxed them. From the very beginning, he had never understood this Heir of Old Qin, so ever since, he had been cautious and prudent, step by step.

He didn't want to wrongly blame him, nor did he want to wrongly trust him.

Shen Mengzhi raised his eyes and said, "For this trial, let me be the one to recognize your heart, is that alright?"

Hearing this, Chu Jin was taken aback, his expression shifting slightly.

"Senior Brother," he didn't ask why, but instead repeated with a hint of amusement, "You want to recognize my heart?"

Shen Mengzhi said, "Yes."

Chu Jin scoffed, his tone laced with mockery. "But even I cannot recognize my own heart."

His tone was so light that it was impossible to tell whether he was being sincere or just speaking casually. But Shen Mengzhi said, "It doesn't matter."

He paused, then gave a slight smile, his voice gentle. "You just have to believe in me."

Chu Jin could no longer smile. "You..."

"That's what you told me back then." Shen Mengzhi stared into his eyes. "What I have to say now is the same."

Neither of them was someone who trusted others easily. Entrusting one's faith, opening one's heart to another without any defense, is the hardest thing to do in a lifetime.

They were classmates, and also two parties from different countries with opposing stances. Even if this baring of hearts was only for a moment, it required immense courage.

Shen Mengzhi understood this principle well. But he wanted to take a gamble—to bet that everything at Heshan was not just an act put on by the person before him.

Chu Jin's breathing was very light, falling by his ear, and for once, it was a little messy.

Shen Mengzhi spoke in a low, comforting voice, "I will do everything in my power to find you."

The author has something to say:

I spent two days agonizing over this emotional scene, it was so painful... But after they leave Flower and Willow Lane, their relationship will really heat up.


AsterialDream
AsterialDream

Weaving words from the East to the West. Specializing in historical danmei and xianxia. Quality matters; please let me know of errors!

Give me feedback at moc.ebircssutol@maerdlairetsa.


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