Entanglement

Today happened to be New Year's Eve.

Although fireworks were prohibited in the city, the silent night sky would still be occasionally pierced by the sound of an explosion. Groups of young people gathered under the large screen in the commercial plaza, holding balloons, full of hope for the new year, just waiting for the last three seconds of the countdown to release them.

However, this lively and warm scene was particularly jarring to Zhuang Yihan's eyes. He stumbled out of the bar and randomly hailed a cab by the roadside. His mind grew dizzier under the influence of alcohol. His white shirt was stained with specks of blood from the earlier fight, and his eyes still held a lingering hostility that hadn't had time to dissipate. He looked like a tough character at a glance.

The driver couldn't help but tense up at the sight. He sized up the intimidating man in the rearview mirror, cursing himself for picking up a drunkard. But it wouldn't be right to ask him to get out, so he could only force himself to ask, "Where to?"

Since getting in the car, Zhuang Yihan had collapsed motionless in the back seat. He leaned his head back with his eyes closed, his expression obscured. The dim light and shadows in the car swallowed most of his figure, as if he was deep in thought.

"..."

"Hey, you, I'm asking where you're going, can't you hear me?! Get out if you're not going!"

Just as the driver began to suspect he had run into a lunatic and unbuckled his seatbelt to kick him out, a deep, hoarse voice suddenly sounded from the back seat: "Go to C University."

Zhuang Yihan opened his eyes in the darkness and looked steadily at the driver, his dark eyes holding an indescribable gloomy chill. He repeated, word by word:

"I said, go to C University."

Whoosh—!

The car sped through the night, crushing the last bits of accumulated snow on the roadside into nothing.

There was still some time before the winter vacation, but many students had already taken leave and packed their bags in advance to snag tickets home for the New Year. Chen Shu's dormitory had been emptying out since yesterday, leaving only him and Duan Chengcai. And today, Yu Hui also had to rush home for the New Year's family dinner.

"Chen Shu, are you really not going home for the New Year?"

After finishing packing, Yu Hui climbed down from the top bunk and pulled over a stool to put on his shoes. A pair of brand-new, limited-edition sneakers, dazzlingly white. The down jacket and pants he wore were also new and stylish. There wasn't a trace of gloom on his youthful face; it was clear he had grown up being doted on.

Chen Shu was originally looking at stocks on his computer. Hearing the question, he took a moment to reply with a hum, "Didn't buy a ticket, so I'm not going back."

Yu Hui enthusiastically invited him, "Then come to my house for New Year's Eve dinner. My parents are always talking about you. The dorm is empty, how boring for you to be alone."

He selectively ignored the transparent presence of Duan Chengcai.

Chen Shu: "No, thanks. It's a good chance for me to study next year's courses. It's quiet when I'm alone."

Yu Hui could only say, "Alright then, you just stay in the dorm by yourself. Call me if you get bored later."

His family lived locally, only a twenty-minute drive from the school. He simply didn't want to stay in the dorm. With that, he left in a rush. The dorm room door slammed shut, and the air fell completely silent, with only the occasional sound of fireworks from outside the balcony.

Duan Chengcai was lying on his bed, the curtain drawn, doing who knows what. He hadn't said a word to anyone recently, just burying his head in his studies and books, emanating a rotten, desolate aura of death.

Chen Shu glanced at the closed bed curtain, then looked away and continued analyzing the stock market for the day. However, not long after, the phone on his desk suddenly buzzed. The ringtone was urgent, as if there were some life-or-death matter.

It was Yu Hui calling.

Chen Shu tapped to answer, and his rash voice came through the receiver: "Chen Shu, I think I forgot my backup phone. I remember stuffing it under my pillow, can you check for me if it's there."

Chen Shu paused upon hearing this, said "hold on," then got up and felt under Yu Hui's pillow. Sure enough, he found a phone that was still warm. He said over the phone, "It's under your pillow. Where are you? I'll bring it down to you."

Yu Hui hesitated for a moment, probably not wanting to trouble him: "Forget it, I was just worried it was lost. As long as it's still in the dorm, it's fine."

But Chen Shu said, "Tell me where you are, I'll bring it down."

Yu Hui couldn't help but feel a little flattered, as he rarely saw Chen Shu being so eager to help. "Really, no need. It's just a phone, I have another one."

Chen Shu kicked the box at his feet and said lightly, "But you also didn't take your suitcase."

Yu Hui: "..."

One could only say the Yu family had raised a silly son. Apart from eating, drinking, and having fun, he was completely clueless about taking care of himself. Chen Shu learned from the call that Yu Hui had parked his car at the school gate. He shoved the phone into his jacket pocket, grabbed the suitcase, and went straight downstairs.

The dorm had the heating on, so it didn't feel cold inside. It was only when he walked to the sports field that he suddenly felt a bone-chilling cold.

Chen Shu walked around the melting snow on the path, zipped up his jacket, and walked quickly to the school gate, just in time to see Yu Hui's black Bentley parked ostentatiously on the roadside.

"Over here, over here!"

Seeing Chen Shu walk over, Yu Hui quickly opened the car door and got out, taking the heavy suitcase from his hands. "Thanks, bro. I'll treat you to a meal when I get back."

The sports field was covered in dirty, slushy snow, but the wheels of the suitcase were dry. Yu Hui guessed that Chen Shu had probably carried it all the way from the dorm without letting it touch the ground, afraid of getting it dirty.

Yu Hui opened the trunk and put the luggage inside. He glanced at the clean wheels, his movement pausing almost imperceptibly. For a moment, it seemed he wanted to say something to Chen Shu, but in the end, he swallowed it back and just smiled, "I almost forgot to tell you, Happy New Year."

Chen Shu was wearing a black windbreaker, the collar pulled up to cover his chin, revealing only his handsome and indifferent eyes and brows. He gave a barely perceptible nod at the words and handed over the phone from his pocket. "Go home early. It's going to snow in the latter half of the night, the roads will be bad."

Yu Hui took the phone and mumbled an agreement. "Then I'm off. You should head back quickly too, it's cold outside."

He was in a hurry to get back for the New Year's dinner, so he didn't linger and got straight into the car and left. But before he drove off, he couldn't help but look back through the car window at that figure—Chen Shu was still the same as he remembered, in a plain, simple jacket and clean, inexpensive sneakers, silent and reserved, like a sudden gust of wind sweeping through a long winter night.

At that time, Yu Hui was still young and didn't understand why he felt so down. It wasn't until many years later that he realized it was because of regret.

Regret for his youthful arrogance at the start of the school year, for always targeting Chen Shu and calling him poor.

He always believed that as a person, even if you can't become the sun that illuminates another's world, you shouldn't become the rain that soaks their entire life.

It was just a pity that very few of them could understand this truth in their prime. It was often on some night of torrential rain that a sudden drop from the sky would jolt them back to their senses, making them feel the dampness that had followed them like a shadow for years.

As Chen Shu watched Yu Hui drive away, he shifted his slightly stiff legs, preparing to head back to the school. However, his gaze inadvertently swept to the side and saw a familiar figure sitting on a roadside bench, and his steps halted.

The school area during the New Year couldn't compare to the commercial districts. After nightfall, the streets were already cold and deserted with few pedestrians. The occasional car would speed past, so fast that not even a shadow could be seen. Despite this, Zhuang Yihan, sitting on the bench in only a thin shirt, looked exceptionally out of place.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting outside. His whole body emanated a cold aura. His former elegance and composure were gone, replaced by decadence and slovenliness. The alcohol was getting to his head, and his consciousness was growing dimmer. His body gradually slumped on the bench, and he actually curled up and fell asleep, his jacket nowhere to be seen.

Chen Shu watched quietly from a distance, motionless, his thoughts unknown. It wasn't until snowflakes began to drift down from the sky that he finally moved, striding toward the bench.

Chen Shu bent down and patted Zhuang Yihan's cheek. "Wake up."

Zhuang Yihan frowned but didn't open his eyes, merely mumbling some drunken nonsense.

Seeing this, Chen Shu straightened up and slowly let out a breath. He might have regretted coming down to give Yu Hui his luggage today, but not coming down seemed like a bigger problem. What if Zhuang Yihan froze to death and no one found him?

He frowned, took off his jacket, wrapped it around the other man, and directly picked him up princess-style. He walked to the roadside to hail a cab. Perhaps Chen Shu's scent was too familiar, but Zhuang Yihan didn't struggle and instead obediently snuggled into his embrace.

It was their good luck that a taxi came by not long after.

Chen Shu opened the car door, bent down to place Zhuang Yihan in the back seat, and then got in himself before closing the door and saying to the driver, "Jingcheng Mansion, thank you."

The apartment Zhuang Yihan had bought for him was nearby, and Chen Shu couldn't think of a better place to go at the moment. He silently closed his eyes and leaned against the car window with his arms crossed to rest, feeling that this New Year's Eve was not as peaceful as he had imagined.

The heating was on in the car, and Zhuang Yihan soon felt a bit breathless. He frowned tightly, struggling to take off the jacket, but Chen Shu pressed it back down, his voice low, "Keep it on."

"Hot... let go, let go of me..."

Zhuang Yihan didn't know if the cold had scrambled his brain. He was clearly freezing, yet he kept shouting that he was hot. He opened his hazy, drunken eyes and looked irritably at the person who wouldn't let him take off his jacket. However, when he saw the other's side profile steeped in darkness, his expression couldn't help but freeze.

It was like a basin of cold water had been poured over his head, an untimely moment of clarity.

As if sensing something, Chen Shu turned his head and met his gaze quietly, his expression indifferent.

"..."

Zhuang Yihan's face turned ugly. He abruptly sat up, tore off the jacket, and endured the dizziness to say to the driver, "Stop the car!"

Chen Shu spoke calmly, "Don't stop, keep driving."

Zhuang Yihan glared at him fiercely, "I said stop, so stop!"

Chen Shu retorted, "Where do you think you're going, as drunk as you are?"

Zhuang Yihan's chest heaved, his eyes red as he said, "None of your business!"

"..."

Chen Shu fell silent for a moment at his words, then actually told the driver to stop the car. "Driver, pull over."

"Screech—!"

The driver slammed on the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. The force was so strong that the people in the car all lurched forward.

Chen Shu said lightly, "The car's stopped. You can get out."

"You!"

Zhuang Yihan's expression changed. He didn't seem to expect Chen Shu to let him go so decisively. He silently clenched his fists, and with a grit of his teeth, got out of the car, slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

The snow outside was already heavy. The sudden departure from the car's warmth sent a jolt through his brain. Zhuang Yihan had no idea where he was going. He clenched his jaw and walked straight ahead in a random direction, just wanting to get as far away from Chen Shu as possible.

The driver had been driving for years, and this was the first time in his life he had encountered such a juicy scene. For a moment, he wasn't even in a hurry to leave. He quietly looked back at Chen Shu and asked tentatively, "Aren't you going after him?"

Chen Shu sat expressionlessly in his seat, his thoughts unknown.

The driver said, "It's the middle of the night, and there's a development zone behind here. Don't let him get lost."

"..."

Three seconds later, the car door shut with a dull thud. Chen Shu got out with the jacket. He turned back, strode after Zhuang Yihan, and yanked him back, spitting out two cold words: "Get in!"

When Zhuang Yihan saw Chen Shu coming after him, he struggled to shake off his hand. "Let go! I don't need you to care!"

Chen Shu grabbed his wrist again, his lips pressed into a thin line. For the first time, a hint of suppressed anger could be seen in his eyes. "I told you to get in the car!"

At these words, all the grievances Zhuang Yihan had accumulated over the past few days suddenly erupted. He shoved Chen Shu away and shouted hysterically with red eyes, "I already said I don't need you to care! Even if I die, I don't need you to care! Can't you hear me?!!"

"You were the one who said we should break up! You were the one who blocked me! You were the one who told me to get out of the car just now! Chen Shu, even if you wanted to break up, did you have to be so cruel?! Even prisoners get a chance to reform!!"

As if venting, Zhuang Yihan took out the things from his pocket and slammed them on the ground. Phone! Car keys! Lighter! Wallet! When there was nothing left to throw, he stepped forward, grabbed Chen Shu's collar, and questioned him in despair:

"What did I do wrong?! What on earth did I do wrong?! Chen Shu! Tell me!! I'm begging you! Can you just tell me?!!"

"In the time you've been gone, I've spent every day and night thinking about what I did wrong to make you angry! But I really don't know! You want to break up with me with just one sentence about not being suitable, Chen Shu, is that fair to me?!"

He started by shouting with red eyes, but by the end, his voice was hoarse, and as tears fell from his eyes, it turned into a humble plea, sobbing until he was out of breath:

"Just take it as me begging you, tell me, what did I do wrong..."

Zhuang Yihan didn't know that the breakdown of this relationship was merely because of a game whose ending was long foretold. Everyone treated him as a tool to be used, greedily extracting pain from him, only to pull away cleanly in the end.

They left a vague excuse and abandoned him alone in those messy years, forcing him to repeatedly search for that unknown answer.

Zhuang Yihan would probably spend his whole life thinking that Chen Shu left because he wasn't good enough.

Pain was like a heavy mountain, pressing down on him during every sleepless night, nearly crushing him.

Little did he know, his biggest mistake was loving the wrong person.

The first was wrong, and the second was also wrong...

Zhuang Yihan finally released Chen Shu's collar limply, his body slowly sliding down. He buried his face in his arms, veins popping on his forehead, yet he didn't even dare to make a sound as he cried, suppressed and broken, losing his last shred of self-respect on the deserted street in the middle of the night.

Chen Shu stood not far away. The hand hanging by his side quietly clenched into a fist, so tightly that his fingertips dug into his flesh. It was as if a hole had suddenly appeared in his heart, and the wind blew through, making his whole body cold.

He said nothing. He silently bent down, picked up the things Zhuang Yihan had thrown one by one, then walked over to him, gripped his shoulder with some force, and said in a low voice:

"...Let's go. I'll take you home."

His tone suddenly softened, so gentle it made one want to cry.

After speaking, Chen Shu draped the jacket over Zhuang Yihan and lifted him from the ground, striding toward where the car was parked. This time, neither of them argued. The only sound in the car was the soft hum of the heater running.

The driver drove in the front, his eyes uncontrollably drifting to the rearview mirror, secretly observing the two men in the back. One of them was quiet, his head lowered, lost in thought. The other was curled up on the seat, as if crying.

Chen Shu noticed the driver's gaze and glanced at him. Although his voice was faint, it inexplicably made one's heart jump:

"Watch the road."

Caught in the act, the driver awkwardly sat up straight and finally stopped his eyes from wandering. He drove obediently to the entrance of the residential complex for the rest of the journey.

Chen Shu paid, got out of the car, and carried Zhuang Yihan up in the elevator. The password for the apartment door hadn't been changed. The floor was clean and shining; it was clear an auntie came to clean regularly.

It was a familiar environment, with a familiar person, but their relationship had been turned completely upside down.

Before, Zhuang Yihan would pick Chen Shu up from school after work. Whether it was eating or grocery shopping, as long as they were stuck together, it was fine. They would only return to their love nest after dark. The two would embrace and kiss from the moment they entered the door all the way to the living room, then fall onto the big bed in the master bedroom to make love, whispering intimately, so close that even without going all the way, it was incredibly satisfying.

Every time Zhuang Yihan thought of that time, his heart would melt.

But feelings were more fickle than the moon. Now, Chen Shu's eyes and brows were filled with detachment and indifference, with no trace of his former tenderness to be seen.

Seeing Chen Shu lean over to place him on the bed and prepare to leave, Zhuang Yihan couldn't control the surge of bitterness. He suddenly wrapped his arms around the other's neck and kissed him fiercely, flipping him over and pinning him underneath.

To call it a kiss wasn't quite right; it was more like a vent-like bite, so fierce that they soon tasted blood.

Chen Shu reflexively frowned, wanting to push him away, but Zhuang Yihan's strength was astonishing at that moment. He pushed twice but failed to move him. He clamped Chen Shu's face firmly with both hands, kissing him while morbidly repeating his name;

"Chen Shu... Chen Shu... Hold me... hold me, please... just like before..."

"I was wrong... I shouldn't have treated you like a lover on the side... and I shouldn't have stopped you from kissing me... or from sleeping with me... I was wrong... can we start over, please..."

"Say you love me... say it and we can be like we were before... say it!!"

The lips that touched were full of salty tears.

Towards the end, Zhuang Yihan became somewhat crazed, his hands fumbling to unbutton Chen Shu's clothes, cupping his face and kissing him forcefully. Finally, he bit his own lip hard and exchanged a bloody kiss with Chen Shu, just like a madman who had lost his mind.

Chen Shu was shocked and used all his strength to flip Zhuang Yihan off him. "Zhuang Yihan, are you crazy!"

"So what if I'm crazy?!!"

Chen Shu's cold words were like a needle, piercing Zhuang Yihan's already precarious nerves. He ventingly threw the pillow onto the floor and shouted back even louder. After shouting, he grabbed Chen Shu's collar again, his scarlet eyes filled with obsession:

"Chen Shu! Don't even think about getting rid of me in this lifetime! I'll haunt you even in death!"

"Believe it or not, with a snap of my fingers, I can make it impossible for you to get by in City A. If you mess with me, we'll die together. Don't even think about studying anymore! And don't think your family will have an easy time either! I don't want to hear the word 'breakup.' Right now, immediately! Take back what you said that day!!"

He gritted his teeth, veins popping as he spoke each word. Scalding tears fell straight down, his voice choked with sobs. "As long as you say it, we can go back to how things were..."

"Say it, Chen Shu..."

Looking at Zhuang Yihan's hysterical state, a thousand words were stuck in Chen Shu's throat. He wanted so badly to ask Zhuang Yihan, 'Do you know what our past was like? What our previous life was like?'

There was no movie-like, redemptive beginning, only one heart-wrenching bout of hatred after another.

But he couldn't say it.

The other man's scalding tears fell on his face, the saltiness seeping all the way to the bottom of his heart.

Chen Shu was well aware that neither the Black Snake that controlled his destiny nor everything else that stood between them would allow him and Zhuang Yihan to continue on together.

In a daze, Chen Shu seemed to see the familiar Black Snake coiled behind Zhuang Yihan. He hadn't seen this snake for a long time. Ever since he had proposed the breakup to Zhuang Yihan, it was as if it had vanished from the face of the earth, completely disappearing from his world.

But Chen Shu knew very well that it hadn't disappeared; it had attached itself to Zhuang Yihan.

At this moment, the Black Snake was lazily coiled on Zhuang Yihan's shoulder, its fangs and mouth wide open, greedily devouring the pain it had long craved.

The closer Zhuang Yihan got to Chen Shu, the more he suffered. The more he suffered, the happier the Black Snake became.

Seeing this, Chen Shu couldn't help but close his eyes, the last trace of pity in his heart dissipating into thin air. He reached out and cupped Zhuang Yihan's face, the force so great it was slightly painful, and said in a low, hoarse voice:

"Zhuang Yihan, it doesn't matter if I study or not, it doesn't matter if I stay in this city or not. What's important is that we both learn to let ourselves go."

"The days before were happy, and that's enough. Not everything in the world has a perfect ending..."

Although he said this, he knew that Zhuang Yihan wasn't the type of person to retaliate wantonly.

Chen Shu always felt their ending shouldn't be like this, but it seemed this was the only way.

"Don't cry..."

Chen Shu finally comforted him softly.

He wiped the tears from the corners of Zhuang Yihan's eyes with his thumb, thinking that he looked even more pitiable than usual with his eyes red from crying, but crying was not a good thing:

"Zhuang Yihan, don't come looking for me next time. I won't always be able to run into you by chance like today..."

At first, Chen Shu's gentle actions left Zhuang Yihan in a daze, thinking that he was about to change his mind. However, before that joy could even rise, it was instantly shattered by his next words. His entire heart plunged into an abyss, chilled to the bone.

Zhuang Yihan stared at Chen Shu without blinking, the muscles in his cheeks twitching uncontrollably from extreme anger. After a long silence, he finally, slowly let go of Chen Shu's collar, only to suddenly shove him hard onto the bed.

"Bang!"

The force was so great that Zhuang Yihan also fell, one of them hitting the bedside table, the other falling at the foot of the bed. Neither of them could get up for a while.

Zhuang Yihan struggled a couple of times, as if trying to get up, but he was completely out of strength. He panted softly, a strand of hair silently falling in front of his eyes. His face was pale, his eyes scarlet, as he repeated Chen Shu's words in a barely audible voice:

"Be fine?"

"Be fine?"

As Zhuang Yihan repeated the words, he suddenly began to laugh softly. He covered his face with his hand, his trembling laughter spilling out from between his fingers, though tears were clearly falling along with it. He thought to himself, could this state of his, neither human nor ghost, still be considered 'fine'? He had kicked him away, and then said he hoped he would be fine?!

Zhuang Yihan slowly looked up at Chen Shu, his red eyes filled with tears and gloom, as well as an indescribable pain. He squeezed a single word from between his teeth:

"Go."

Chen Shu didn't move. "Zhuang Yihan..."

Zhuang Yihan suddenly swept the decorations on the nightstand to the floor. "I told you to go, can't you hear me?!!!"

After he said this, the bedroom instantly fell into a dead silence. The sound of the wind and snow outside was firmly blocked by the soundproof windows, and the air became so still it made one feel dizzy with tinnitus.

Chen Shu stood where he was, his legs as heavy as lead, unable to take a step.

Seeing this, Zhuang Yihan's lips curled into a cold smile, and he let out a low laugh. "Didn't you want to leave? Why are you still here?"

Did he have to force him to tie him up, to lock him away?

Zhuang Yihan didn't think he was incapable of such a thing, but at the same time, he knew that once some things were done, there was no turning back.

He was forcefully suppressing the beast in his heart, not wanting to let it out to devour people.

"Hush—"

The silk quilt slipped quietly to the floor with a soft sound.

Zhuang Yihan turned over and sat up, slowly crawling to the edge of the bed. Then, in a half-kneeling position, he reached out and cupped Chen Shu's face, forcing him to bend down and come closer. He was clearly laughing softly, but a scalding tear fell from his reddened eyes as he silently mouthed one word:

"Go..."

He said,

"Chen Shu, I'm letting you go..."