...Hidden, unspeakable, shameful hope.

Yang Siran tightly closed his eyes, and the scent of that person seemed to linger. The oppressive gaze made him breathless and addicted. He gasped heavily, trying to ignore the eyes in his mind, and obediently placed his hands on the piano keys, but his hands wouldn't listen and he couldn't press the keys.

This was the first time Yang Siran had such a strong desire for someone. His previously vague and blurry sexual orientation suddenly became clear. The impulse came from an unexpected accident. For Yang Siran, it was wonderful, a destined encounter -

On a winter afternoon, it should have been cozy. The sun should have lazily shone down at an angle, but there was none of that. It had just snowed outside, and there was no sign of the sun. Looking out the window, all one could feel was the cold.

On Sunday evening, there were two evening self-study sessions. Yang Siran left early, as it didn't matter whether he was at home or in the classroom since he was alone. He wore a down jacket over his school uniform, making him look a bit bulky. His chin and mouth were buried in the collar of the jacket, revealing only half of his face. He had earphones in his ears, listening to English songs one after another, using it as a way to practice his listening skills.

As soon as Yang Siran stepped out of the door, he encountered several large marble steps covered in a thin layer of snow. The surface was as slippery as a mirror. He lost his balance on the first step and fell forward. He hadn't looked up and only realized there was someone in front of him when he stumbled.

"This is so embarrassing," he thought as he closed his eyes. In that split second, he thought he was going to fall, but his reflexes kicked in and he reached out his hand towards the person in front of him.

What he saw was a smoky gray wool coat, and what he smelled was a mixture of light fragrance and tobacco. Yang Siran's forehead hit the person's shoulder, and he grabbed onto their arm tightly.

It was a very awkward position to be in.

After standing up, he felt a bit uneasy and looked up to see the person's face. At that moment, Yang Siran clearly felt his heart skip a beat.

It was a very cold face, with slightly furrowed brows and eyes that were neither friendly nor peaceful, but rather distant and indifferent. Yang Siran held onto the man's arm, and he gave him a slight lift, as if to help him up.

Yang Siran was shy and careful as he deeply bowed to the man, whispering, "I'm sorry...thank you, uncle."

Even his voice was trembling, so nervous, and his heart was beating violently. His chest was hidden under his clothes, rising and falling secretly. He was only seventeen years old, and in that moment, certain emotions suddenly awakened within him.

The man across from him only glanced at his face for a second, or maybe not even that, before uttering a faint "Mm" and climbing up the stairs without a second glance.

A small unexpected incident that didn't even qualify as a subplot, just a minor bump in the road of life. It left no trace in the eyes of an adult man, but in the heart of a high school boy experiencing the stirrings of youth, it caused a huge wave that surged and roiled.

Even though several hours had passed and evening self-study had already ended, that wildly beating heart still showed no signs of calming down. Yang Siran sat in front of the piano and vigorously shook his head, trying to shake off the moment that kept replaying in his mind. That face, those eyes, were etched in his mind in just a few seconds. He felt a tight, painful sensation in his lower body, tormenting his nerves.

Eventually, Yang Siran sighed and relaxed his posture, letting his shoulders slump.

It was as if he had finally admitted defeat. Slowly, he withdrew his hands from the keys and secretly moved them down to his guilty desire... He had an inappropriate impulse towards an adult man. He really wanted to smell that faint fragrance again, the one that he could become addicted to.

His young heart had lost control from the very first encounter and had not changed for many years to come.

The mixture of tobacco and a faint fragrance in his breath had been constantly stimulating his nerves. His palms were damp, his brow furrowed, and his breathing was rapid. All of this was finally interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

Yang Siran's eyelids trembled as he woke up from his dream. The sticky and tense feeling on his body was still very strong. He had dreamt this dream countless times before, this fragment of memory. It felt cold, confusing, and truly like a dream.

He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a bright and expansive window. Suddenly, he jolted awake and sat up, turning to see the man from his dream taking off his shirt, still wearing his suit pants.

The man had tight muscles, broad shoulders, and a lean waistline, but Yang Siran had no time to appreciate it. He was holding the man's shirt, sweating from the vivid dream and unconsciously squeezing and rubbing it until it was almost ruined.

He knew that man wouldn't wear it again.

Yang Siran still clutched the fabric in his hand. He always did this, greedily taking one of the man's shirts to smell their unique scent, to let it seep into his dreams and transport him back to that moment with the man. It was perverse and shameful.

The man glanced at him with a cold expression as he woke up. He casually threw his shirt on Yang Siran's face before it landed on his own legs. A smirk played at the corner of the man's mouth as he turned and headed into the bathroom.

Yang Siran immediately got out of bed and followed him, barefoot on the floor.

When he emerged, his pajamas were completely soaked.

He went to another room to change into a new set of pajamas before returning to find Geng Jinwei sitting on the bed, replying to messages. Yang Siran walked over and sat on the carpet beside him, obediently quiet without saying a word, even his breathing was light.

After putting down his phone, Geng Jinwei glanced at his hair. It was slightly damp, but not completely wet, just a bit moist. Yang Siran felt his gaze and looked up at him. Geng Jinwei spoke up and threw out a question, "Are you behaving now?"

Yang Siran smiled and replied, "I'm behaving'."

Geng Jinwei raised an eyebrow and Yang Siran added, "I'm the best behaved."

As if to match his words, Yang Siran leaned his face against the bed, next to Geng Jinwei's leg, and lightly kissed his leg.

Although he appeared obedient and well-behaved on the surface, he was always holding back. Geng Jinwei sneered and stopped talking to him. He had just landed from a business trip for a week, slept for two hours after returning, and still had a meeting at night.

He didn't say anything and neither did Yang Siran. He went around to the other side of the bed and curled up next to Geng Jinwei. There was a dry warmth in the blanket that felt very comfortable.

He had just slept, and he couldn't fall asleep no matter what. Geng Jinwei slept for two hours while Yang Siran watched him for two hours. When Geng Jinwei turned over, Yang Siran leaned over gently and Geng Jinwei hugged him as soon as he lifted his arm.

Yang Siran smiled contentedly, feeling completely enveloped by Geng Jinwei's breath. He was so addicted to this feeling of satisfaction that it seeped out of every bone in his body.

Without needing an alarm clock, Geng Jinwei woke up before the two hours were up. He woke up to see Yang Siran sticking to him and moved his arm away as he got out of bed, saying, "What are you sticking to me for."

Yang Siran smiled lightly and replied, "It wasn't me who was sticking to you."

Geng Jinwei didn't bother to expose his childish lie, it wasn't worth mentioning. When Geng Jinwei finished getting dressed, Yang Siran took the initiative to serve him. He raised his hand to tie Geng Jinwei's tie, and Geng Jinwei slightly raised his chin without looking down, only asking, "Have you had enough?"

Yang Siran looked at him and obediently answered, "I've had enough."

Geng Jinwei told him, "If you've had enough, go to the company and apologize to Qi Zhao."

Yang Siran nodded and replied, "I can apologize, but I don't want an agent."

Geng Jinwei lowered his gaze and looked at him for a moment before saying, "You still haven't had enough."

Yang Siran remained silent, adjusting his tie and smoothing down Geng Jinwei's collar. He looked into his eyes and whispered, "I really don't want it, I can't accept it. I want to focus on my work, to climb higher, to do better."

"I'll accept any work arrangements, I'll listen to the company. But I really don't need an agent, I don't want to be under anyone's control... except for you." Yang Siran pursed his lips and lowered his voice even further, almost whispering, "Uncle..."

The word "uncle" sounded both tender and clingy, something he rarely did outside of the bedroom. It was a humble request, an obsession that couldn't be put into words.

Geng Jinwei's gaze swept over his face before he left without saying a word.

Yang Siran stood still, waiting for the feeling of Geng Jinwei's presence to completely dissipate before going upstairs to play the piano. He spent the afternoon with the person he had been thinking about, and even the songs he played were melodious and long-lasting. Music always had a breath, and it was transmitted through it.

Of course, Yang Siran couldn't have an agent. He could be very obedient, but he had a stubborn insistence on this matter.

In the end, for small stars like Yang Siran who had no status or resources, the relationship between them and their agent was one of absolute domination and submission. Yang Siran couldn't accept anyone else who could completely dominate him like that. It was simply impossible.

In his heart, he only obeyed Geng Jinwei, and that would never change. His emotions may be abnormal, but Yang Siran is content with it. Just like how his years of admiration and worship before may be incomprehensible to others, but Yang Siran was immersed in them and enjoyed them.

As long as emotions do not involve legal or moral issues, whether it is worth it or not is only a matter for oneself, and no one has the right to interfere.

Yang Siran's persistence has never wavered, even though he has changed one agent after another and is now in a state of being put on hold and forgotten, and may continue to be so in the future. He never really wanted to be a celebrity or act in movies.

He just wanted to be close to this person now, and being close to them occasionally is great. That's enough for him, even if he never acts again in the future.

It was just a pity that he could no longer be assigned work by him, nor could he be taken by him to meet with directors or anyone else, with a gentle push on his shoulder and a familiar introduction of "this is my new talent."

It was a bit of a shame, but he couldn't compromise just because of these things.

Yang Siran couldn't always stay at Geng Jinwei's place. Every time he came, he was cautious. He knew the password and always carried a backpack and a baseball cap. Inside the backpack was a set of clean clothes and pajamas, which he would take with him when he left. He wouldn't leave any trace of himself there, knowing full well the importance of discretion in a relationship.

Being his lover meant being discreet, and he understood this very well.

He had to get permission from Geng Jinwei before coming over at first, but after a while Yang Siran would come even if Geng Jinwei didn't reply to his messages. He would wait obediently in the living room without taking off his clothes, but Geng Jinwei never really kicked him out. Several more times after that, Yang Siran started coming over without asking for permission, just sending a text beforehand: "I'm coming over, let me know if it's not okay."

He didn't wait for a reply and wasn't chased away either. He used to be afraid, but later found that being Geng Jinwei's lover was quite easy.

On the first day of becoming his lover, Yang Siran was both excited and fearful. He felt a sense of dread whenever he was around him. But as time went on, he realized that it wasn't as difficult as he had imagined, and he wasn't as cruel as he had feared. He wasn't affectionate or gentle, but he wasn't difficult to get along with either. He didn't pay attention to trivial matters and never mentioned them.

Yang Siran was generally obedient, and even when he tested the waters, Geng Jinwei never scolded him. Moreover, he could feel a special treatment as his lover at the right times.

Every time this happened, Yang Siran felt happy. He didn't think it was something not worth being happy about because he had earned it himself. Anyway, he was indeed a little special, wasn't he? He was an easy-to-please person, and this little bit of special treatment made him feel overjoyed.

For example, despite changing one agent after another, Geng Jinwei didn't really do anything to him. Some newbies who didn't know any better would dare to act like this in the company without any foundation, but if it was someone else they might have suffered for it.

Yang Siran was not fearless, he was afraid of being severely punished by Geng Jinwei and losing his lover as a result. Yang Siran tried his best those few times, almost suffocating himself in the bathtub.

But Geng Jinwei didn't mention a word about it. He didn't say that Yang Siran didn't know how to appreciate kindness, nor did he look down on him for being ignorant. In fact, the company even assigned him another agent, which made Yang Siran feel that he was indeed being treated well, despite his anxiety.

However, he also offended this new agent in the end, and as Geng Jinwei had previously warned, this was his last chance. After that, Yang Siran stayed at home without any work arrangements. He accepted this, not because he was spoiled by the preferential treatment, but because he truly couldn't accept it.

Moreover, Geng Jinwei himself was also an agent, and Yang Siran was personally signed by him. When the agent was on leave, Geng Jinwei was the one who arranged all of his work. In a way, this was equivalent to him passing Yang Siran on to someone else.

Yang Siran couldn't bear the idea of submitting to the control and dominance of other agents, which caused him great pain.

Geng Jinwei advised him to think it over and then go to the company to find Qi Zhao, but Yang Siran never went. He was ready to give up acting and become a songwriter to make some money, which was fine because that's what he used to do.

One night, Geng Jinwei came back drunk and Yang Siran went to greet him at the door. Geng Jinwei was indeed drunk and his gaze swept over Yang Siran's face. Yang Siran leaned in for a kiss and Geng Jinwei didn't refuse. With a hangover candy in his mouth, Yang Siran used the kiss as an excuse to transfer it to Geng Jinwei's mouth.

Geng Jinwei frowned and asked, "What is this?"

Yang Siran whispered, "Hangover candy, you can keep it in your mouth."

Geng Jinwei still frowned, but in the end, he didn't spit it out, but he also didn't keep it in his mouth. He just swallowed it. Yang Siran pursed his lips and obediently helped him wash, without being audacious again.

While washing, Geng Jinwei's hand unconsciously rested on Yang Siran's head for a moment. His voice was a bit hoarse from drinking, and didn't sound as stern: "You don't want to act anymore, huh?"

"No," Yang Siran lay on his chest and replied, "I want to act."

"If you want to act, then why are you being so difficult." Geng Jinwei spoke with his eyes closed, his tone always a bit cold.

Yang Siran was already used to his cold tone and replied honestly without snuggling up to him or acting spoiled: "I'm not being difficult. I can be very obedient."

As Geng Jinwei spoke, his chest vibrated slightly, causing Yang Siran's ears to tingle. He heard Geng Jinwei ask above his head, "You want me to take you on, what status do you have."

Yang Siran immediately replied, "I have no status."

Geng Jinwei said, "Look at who I've taken under my wing. I've only been looking after Shaoyi these past few years. You want to be on equal footing with him? That's ridiculous."

Yang Siran's expression changed, and he stood up immediately, sincerely saying, "I never thought that way, and I wouldn't dare."

"You wouldn't dare," Geng Jinwei still had his eyes closed, speaking calmly, "You may not dare to think about it, but others would. Who are you, for me to personally take you on."

"I'm nobody," Yang Siran said, "I...I was wrong."

Geng Jinwei had definitely had too much to drink that day, and he ended up telling Yang Siran things that weren't very pleasant to hear. His words were sharp and cutting, but strangely enough, Yang Siran didn't feel hurt by them. In fact, he felt a warmth in his heart. To him, Geng Jinwei, who had said these things to him, was even gentle.

Yang Siran was indeed obedient and well-behaved. After Geng Jinwei had said those things, Yang Siran didn't think about going back to acting anymore. He had never really been interested in it anyway. When Geng Jinwei asked him again if he still wanted to act, he simply replied, "No, I don't want to."

Geng Jinwei looked at him for a few moments before finally stopping himself from saying anything more.

Playing music and writing songs, this kind of life is pretty good. He doesn't lack money, and the songs he created are worth some money if one day he sells them all. His Weibo account hasn't been updated much in the past few months, and he was almost ready to quit, but then one day he received a message from Geng Jinwei.

"Come to the company this afternoon," the message read.

Yang Siran was surprised, but he went to the company early. There, he met his assistant and learned that the company was planning to have him star in a movie and asked him to audition next week. Yang Siran looked at Geng Jinwei in surprise and nodded respectfully, "Okay, President Geng."

That night, in Geng Jinwei's house, Yang Siran spoke softly, "In future, I..."

Geng Jinwei said, "Just let him follow you, and treat him as your assistant."

"Will it cause you trouble?" Yang Siran asked.

Geng Jinwei sneered and looked down at him, "You're quite worried. If you have time, go thank Yuan Ye. Your Brother Yuan Ye helped you speak up, you do know who to keep good relations with."

Yang Siran nodded.

That night, he worked hard, as if using his body to repay the gifts from his benefactor. In reality, only he knew that his heart had been pounding violently all night. No one understood his hidden thoughts. He had lost his soul since he was young, and every little sentiment from the other party made him feel fortunate. Even if this was just the love of a wealthy patron for a obedient lover, it was enough for him to indulge in it.

Geng Jinwei flicked his ear with his fingertips, and this small action made Yang Siran tremble all over.

The love that had soaked into his heart over the years, the desires and longings that haunted him at midnight, made Yang Siran willingly bury himself in the ground to look up at the other person.

Apart from the initial conflict with his agents, Yang Siran had never had any disagreements with the company. His assistant acted as his agent, and he handled all external negotiations. Their relationship was pretty good.

He never gave him anything too difficult to handle, and Yang Siran himself was easy to work with. Yang Siran was a rising star, with good looks and a reputation that preceded him wherever he went. He had started his career with small roles in films directed by big names, but his talent had quickly propelled him to the forefront of the industry.

In just two short years, he had become one of the most sought-after young actors in the business, with a schedule so packed that he sometimes went months without returning to his company.

As he sat in the makeup room, having his hair styled by a professional, Yang Siran gazed at his reflection in the mirror. The mirror reflected a flawless face.

His assistant sat beside him, looking up from his work to ask: "What's wrong? Didn't sleep well?"

"Mm, I'm just a little tired lately," he replied.

The assistant chuckled and said, "Being busy is a good thing."

Yang Siran gave him a faint smile in the mirror and replied, "I know."

He held his phone tightly, checking for any messages. As he was about to leave, there was still no response. Yang Siran unlocked his phone, opened the chat interface, and sent a message: "I miss you."

The chat history was always one-sided, with him being the only one sending messages. The last time the other person replied was last month. Since last year, the other person occasionally replied to his messages, usually with just a simple 'okay.' But since last month, there has been no response, as if his messages were lost in the abyss.

The company has been promoting a young man lately. Yang Siran had met him at a show and he was truly young and handsome. The boy was in his early twenties and called Yang Siran "Brother Siran" with a smile. The company has been promoting him heavily, providing him with good resources.

Everyone in the company is saying that President Geng treats him exceptionally well, which is not simple.

After the French fashion show ended, Yang Siran and his assistant were on the plane back home. Now, there were no outsiders around. The assistant noticed that he didn't look too good and leaned over to him, lowering his voice, "Don't think too much. There's no long-term stability in this industry. You've been with him for four years, which is quite long."

Yang Siran pursed his lips and didn't respond.

"You're not the same as before. Even without someone, you can still stand on your own. There will be trouble, but you won't be crushed by anyone." The assistant had been working with Yang Siran for over two years, and aside from their professional relationship, they had a good personal connection, and could talk about private matters.

"A child doesn't need to be taken seriously. Let him be. Everyone takes what they need. Even if we remove this layer of relationship, it might not necessarily be a bad thing."

Yang Siran couldn't keep the matter with Geng Jinwei from his assistant. It was no longer a secret. Yang Siran remained silent and turned his head to look out the small window. The clouds outside were thick and dense, beautiful but suffocating to look at.

Yang Siran landed and went straight back to the company without going back to his residence first. He knocked on Geng Jinwei's office door and heard him respond from inside.

Yang Siran opened the door, walked in, and gently closed it behind him. He looked at Geng Jinwei and called out, "President Geng."

"You're back?" Geng Jinwei asked calmly.

Yang Siran hadn't been back for almost four months, and he hadn't seen Geng Jinwei for that long either. He walked quietly towards him, his eyes fixed on him, truly missing him. His status had become more valuable than before, but some feelings never change.

However, his steps stopped a few steps away from the desk.

He saw a boy sitting on the ground next to Geng Jinwei's leg. Yang Siran was caught off guard when he made eye contact with the boy, who even raised his eyebrows and greeted him.

Yang Siran stood still and pursed his lips, then nodded and said hello to him.

After leaving the office, Yang Siran leaned against the wall by the door and fell silent for a while. Then he let out a long sigh.

Inside the room, Geng Jinwei told the boy, "You should leave too."

The boy was not willing to go and wanted to say something, but Geng Jinwei's expression made him shut his mouth. No one dared to cause trouble in front of him.

No one said a sugar daddy could only have one lover, otherwise it wouldn't be called a lover, it would have to be an actual partner. Yang Siran was prepared for this from the beginning, but he was lucky that there had been no one else around Geng Jinwei all these years.

When living in comfort, one tends to forget about things that were supposed to happen, which leads to feeling shocked and being unable to accept it when it actually happens. It's a bad habit that comes from living a peaceful life. Yang Siran looked at himself in the mirror and chuckled self-deprecatingly.

He was wearing a black silk pajama set, which made his skin look even whiter. When he sat on the bed with one leg bent, a glimpse of his fair ankle was revealed, creating a strong visual effect that made him look somewhat enchanting.

When he was moved by his emotions, he bit Geng Jinwei's Adam's apple, but immediately regretted it and lightly kissed it afterwards.

Geng Jinwei pinched his chin hard, causing Yang Siran to furrow his brows in pain. Geng Jinwei's expression remained unreadable as he asked, "Do you have any grievances?"

Yang Siran met his gaze without flinching and, unwilling to lie, honestly replied, "I don't have any grievances... but I feel a little sad."

Geng Jinwei looked into his eyes and released his grip, asking, "What are you sad about?"

Yang Siran's voice was slightly hoarse as he answered truthfully, "I'm sad that you're not just mine."

This was probably the first time Yang Siran had spoken so boldly. Even he couldn't escape this feeling after the good times had lasted too long.

Yang Siran hugged Geng Jinwei's neck and buried his face in the crook of his neck, affectionately calling out, "Uncle..."

Geng Jinwei rubbed his neck with his hand.

People who are usually indifferent can drown others with these slightly affectionate actions. Yang Siran closed his eyes and asked, "Does he call you that too?"

Geng Jinwei looked at him again, then roughly scratched his head a few times. His movements were not gentle, and Yang Siran had to open his eyes because of it. Geng Jinwei looked at the slightly reddened corners of his eyes and didn't respond to his question. Instead, he suddenly said, "So many young boys and girls, why not give them a try?"

Yang Siran immediately became nervous and blinked, asking, "Did you hear something? I didn't. I've never done anything inappropriate. I'm clean."

Indeed, he was clean. After so many years, he had hardly even touched himself.

Geng Jinwei didn't know what to do with the person in his arms. Although he always listened to him, deep down he was stubborn. The determination in his eyes was clear, and it had never faded over the years.

That night, Yang Siran almost passed out, feeling completely drained. His palms were sweaty, and he wanted to grab Geng Jinwei's hand, but he couldn't find it. Suddenly, Geng Jinwei spoke up and said, "Let's end it here."

Yang Siran blinked his eyes lightly, his eyelashes trembling. He couldn't even speak loudly, and he asked softly, "...What?"

Geng Jinwei plucked a fallen eyelash from his face and said in a deep voice, "This is as far as we go. Don't come anymore in future."

Yang Siran was in the prime of his life. For some people, parting ways with their old sugar daddies was a stroke of luck. Most sugar daddies were generous and would give a substantial breakup fee, and in the future, they wouldn't forget their obedient little lovers.

Even Yang Siran's assistant whispered to him, "This is a good thing. President Geng won't mistreat you. As long as you don't clash with Su Chen and don't openly confront him, we won't find any trouble for ourselves. Life will be much easier. You're not a nobody in our company now, just focus on acting and making money. It's better than before."

Everyone who knew about this thought that Yang Siran had hit the jackpot. His sugar daddy had been pampering him for the past few years, and now that he was famous, he didn't have to carry the burden of this dirty secret anymore. He could live cleanly and honestly.

But when Yang Siran first followed him, he wasn't thinking about getting himself famous.

Some things are like drinking water, you know the temperature best.

Yang Siran has been in love with Geng Jinwei since he first laid eyes on him at the age of seventeen, almost thirteen years ago. He willingly put himself in a position where he was trampled on by Geng Jinwei, just so he could love him.

Some may see it as pathetic, but this is just who he is. His emotions have always been this way, and he doesn't think it's any less valid than anyone else's. Love is not a competition.

However, this doesn't mean that Yang Siran has no backbone or self-respect.

Does he still like him? Of course, Yang Siran still liked him just as much as before. But he never went to Geng Jinwei's house again, nor did he ever stick to his leg in his office. When they met, he would respectfully address him as "President Geng" and at most, he would quietly look back at him for a few seconds after he left.

No matter how much he liked him, he couldn't be clingy. Being able to accompany him for a few years was already a blessing from fate. Not every crush could have a happy ending, and compared to many unrequited loves that ended in vain, he had already been too lucky.

"Brother Shaoyi, Brother Yuan Ye," Yang Siran's seat was behind theirs, and he immediately went over to greet the couple. "You guys look so handsome today."

"We're not usually handsome?" Yuan Ye raised his eyebrows and laughed. "Is it that your Brother Yuan Ye isn't as handsome as before, or that Brother Shaoyi's looks can't compete anymore?"

"No, no," Yang Siran quickly said, "it's mainly because you don't usually wear suits."

Fang Shaoyi also greeted him and whispered, "Director Zhou is over there. After the event, go say hello. Last time you had to reject his film at the last minute, but he let it go. Don't offend people, just talk nicely."

Yang Siran has been in contact with them more often now and is quite familiar with them. Fang Shaoyi sometimes gives him advice like this. Yang Siran always listens attentively and remembers everything he says, and he then follows his advice accordingly.

There is no shortage of actors or young stars at the film festival. Yang Siran also saw Su Chen, who is said to be favored by President Geng and can charm people like a fairy. The smile of the young man is indeed bright and likable.

He called out to Yang Siran and spoke to him affectionately, calling him "Brother Siran".

Yang Siran was always friendly. Others who looked at the two of them saw a brotherly and respectful appearance, and they could probably take some photos and stir up some CP.

But Yang Siran didn't want that. He had already had many CPs in the few years since his debut, and he was often forced to participate, but he didn't want to do it this time. So when Su Chen leaned in closer, Yang Siran calmly backed away, not giving him the chance.

Having a CP between the previous and current lovers of the same sugar daddy, surely it was too awkward.

Su Chen didn't seem to mind Yang Siran's lack of cooperation and smiled, saying, "Let me add you on WeChat, Brother Siran?"

Yang Siran took out his phone and scanned the code. Su Chen lowered his head and whispered, "The candy is delicious, can Brother Siran share a piece with me?"

After adding each other as friends, Yang Siran pocketed his phone and said with a faint smile, "Let's see if you have what it takes to get it."

The candy was indeed delicious, and Yang Siran had been carefully savoring it for four years. Now Su Chen asked him to share a piece, but it wasn't a matter of whether Yang Siran was willing to share. What did he have to share? He didn't even have any left for himself.

Yuan Ye knew about his situation, as Yang Siran had told him a long time ago. Su Chen was just as enthusiastic towards Fang Shaoyi and Yuan Ye, acting like a devoted fan. Later, Yuan Ye even joked with Yang Siran, "Isn't this Brother Geng's new paramour?"

He didn't know that Yang Siran was no longer following Geng Jinwei. Yang Siran smiled and said to him, "Yeah, I've lost the person in my heart."

Yuan Ye raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

Yang Siran let out a sigh and his eyes showed a hint of melancholy. He chuckled lightly and said, "Youthful and lively, who wouldn't like it?"

He finished speaking but Yuan Ye instead laughed out loud, tapping his head and saying, "I'm not so sure about that. You can't even understand your love after so many years. Think about it carefully."

Yang Siran looked up at him and Yuan Ye only said, "Think about it."

What else is there to think about? The person is already gone. He has been trying to understand this relationship for over a decade, but there is nothing he can't figure out. Only when he truly understood could he be so carefree, hold back from clinging on, and not mention the deep love from his youth to later years.

He had already figured out how to act as a greedy lover who trades physical intimacy for resources, knowing where to draw the line.

Yang Siran rarely took the initiative to contact him, only sending simple holiday greetings via text messages.

On Geng Jinwei's birthday, Yang Siran sent him a message: "Happy birthday, wishing you peace."

Geng Jinwei replied with a "Thank you."

Yang Siran looked at those two words, his fingers swiping back and forth on the screen. Despite his heartache and reluctance, he didn't know how to reply.

His former sugar daddy was indeed generous, with no shortage of resources. Yang Siran's position in the company remained unchanged, and he had access to plenty of good resources. The company even funded his film projects, and he landed luxury endorsements for top-tier brands. Every time Yang Siran received something valuable, he would send Geng Jinwei a message: "Thank you, wishing you peace."

On Mid-Autumn Festival, wishing you peace.

Merry Christmas, wishing you peace.

Happy New Year, bidding farewell to the old and welcoming the new, wishing you peace.

Geng Jinwei replied to this one: Happy New Year.

Perhaps it was because the fireworks outside were too beautiful, but Yang Siran felt particularly lonely in his room. He looked at the three words on the screen and couldn't control himself. Afraid that he would regret not sending it, he quickly typed out a few words and hit send: "I miss you so much."

There would definitely be no reply to this message. Yang Siran wasn't the type to pester someone, and the other person wouldn't drag things out. Once it was over, it was over, without any lingering attachments.

Yang Siran was never lacking in suitors, given his attractive qualities. Male and female stars of equal status in the industry, younger admirers, and wealthy and influential sponsors all vied for his attention. With just a few words, Yang Siran could easily find himself a great partner, and there was no shortage of young and handsome options.

However, Yang Siran could never let go of his heart, which had been set on one person for many years.

He was an employee of Fang Shaoyi's company and under Geng Jinwei's control. Most of the time, he could avoid getting into too much trouble and keep himself out of harm's way. He didn't want to cause trouble for others, and they wouldn't make things too difficult for him either.

But there were always times when wealthy businessmen, drunk on their own power, would become too aggressive, and Yang Siran couldn't always extricate himself from the situation unscathed.

At the dinner table, he was caught in someone's trap. During the night, someone used a card to open a hotel room. Yang Siran was hot all over and panting, exhaling hot air. In a daze, someone opened his shirt. Yang Siran couldn't see clearly, but he only had to reach out and touched the person's arm to break out in a cold sweat.

He knew it wasn't him as soon as he touched him. If it wasn't him, it wouldn't work. He reflexively turned over and avoided him. His hands and feet were weak, but fortunately, he had a good foundation, and he managed to escape.

Yang Siran was in a daze and touched his phone, dialing the number that was engraved in his mind. The voice on the other end was hoarse and low, but not cold. It had warmth in it. He asked, "What's wrong?"

"I..." Yang Siran opened his mouth, only to realize that his throat was so hoarse that he could barely speak. The medication had messed with his brain and nerves, leaving him in a state of confusion and despair. He collapsed on the ground and said, "I caused trouble for you... I hit someone."

"Who?" The other person's voice was always so powerful. Yang Siran didn't even know when tears had started streaming down his face. He weakly raised his hand to wipe them away and heard the other person ask, "Send me your address and room number."

Yang Siran whispered in his rough voice, "...I can only belong to you."

Soon, someone arrived. Even after they carried the person away, Yang Siran didn't know who he had just hit, nor did he want to know.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw the shadow that had been engraved on his heart for many years. His features were still harsh, with no hint of gentleness. Yang Siran regained his composure and sincerely apologized, "I'm sorry, President Geng, for causing trouble."

Geng Jinwei stood by the window and looked at him, asking, "Is this your first day in this circle? You dare to let your guard down?"

Yang Siran didn't argue and nodded, "It's my fault for being careless."

"You were careless?" Geng Jinwei walked over, taking a few steps until he was close enough to grab Yang Siran's hair and make him look up. The ferocity in his voice made Yang Siran's heart tremble, "You were careless? Are you sorry to me? Who are you being sorry to?"

Geng Jinwei lifted his blanket and pressed his hand onto Yang Siran's stomach, exerting force as he spoke, "You dare to swallow anything that's put in front of you? Can't even taste the added drugs, damn it?"

The sudden touch caught Yang Siran off guard, causing his heart to tremble.

"You're so damn arrogant, attending dinners without your assistant. Really damn f*cking daring now," Geng Jinwei's hand moved down a few inches, pressing harder on Yang Siran's stomach. The veins bulged on his forehead as he continued, "If they added any more you'd have been done for. Do you know what that means? Are you stupid? If someone took advantage of you, you'll be carried out horizontally!"

Geng Jinwei grabbed onto Yang Siran's hair and applied more pressure, causing him to arch his back in pain. Geng Jinwei gritted his teeth and asked, "Where's your brain? I'm asking you, where's your brain?"

He was really angry, and he often got angry with others, but this was the first time he was angry with Yang Siran. Yang Siran had never done anything to make him angry for so long, which was really easy for him. But this time, something so serious happened, if the culprit had really succeeded then the consequences would be unimaginable.

Yang Siran kept apologizing, his voice hoarse as he said, "I was wrong."

"You were wrong," Geng Jinwei let go of him, causing Yang Siran to stumble and lean on the bed with his elbow before stablising. "You almost f*cking scared me to death, you idiot."

Yang Siran forgot to speak and looked up at him. There was still a bruise on his face from last night, and his complexion was pale and lifeless. He looked so pitiful and scared out of his wits.

Geng Jinwei reached out and pulled Yang Siran into his embrace, pressing his face against his chest. The hand that was placed on top of his head was not gentle at all.

Suddenly, Geng Jinwei's scent filled Yang Siran's nose, causing his mind to go blank. He couldn't think of anything else. His lips trembled and he couldn't speak for a long time.

His lips were pale, and his angry sugar daddy lowered his head and bit his lips until they bled.

For four years, Geng Jinwei had kept him as a lover. At first, only his assistant, and Geng Jinwei's driver and assistant knew about it. Yuan Ye only knew because Yang Siran had mentioned it once, and no one else knew.

As time passed, some people began to suspect, but Geng Jinwei's cold demeanor kept them from spreading rumors. To this day, Yang Siran remains clean and without any scandal.

This is what a true lover is. As for the rumors that have spread everywhere, they cannot be true.

Later on, Geng Jinwei pinched Yang Siran's chin and asked him, "Do you have any idea how much worry I've put into you?"

"I do," Yang Siran nodded repeatedly, "You've been good to me."

"You do?" Geng Jinwei sneered, "If you do, then why are you so f*cking obsessed with me? Is there no other men in the world? No one else can give you a satisfying f*ck?"

Yang Siran nodded obediently, with a look of innocence, "There are men out there, but they're not mine."

"I think you're just brainless," Geng Jinwei said.

Yang Siran leaned in, kissing and nibbling on his ear, his voice soft and full of love, not saying another word, just calling out, "Uncle..."

Everyone has their own choices when it comes to love, whether it's sweet or bitter. It's a matter of faith and what the heart desires.

The end.