He's crying again.
Yan Hang patted Chu Yi's back.
In his memory, the first time Chu Yi cried was when he stood at Yan Hang's doorstep, crying very openly.
Today's two crying episodes were obviously more restrained compared to the first time, not as childlike anymore.
But for Yan Hang, it was all the same.
No matter how much Chu Yi's appearance had changed from a year ago, seeing Chu Yi cry still made him feel like a wronged little puppy.
And he would still feel somewhat at a loss.
He had been to so many places, met so many people, and could discern many things from a single sentence or expression, but he was always just passing through other people's worlds, watching from afar.
No one had ever cried in front of him before.
The tears were warm, and the low sobbing sound was right by his ear, no longer distant.
He would even tremble slightly inside along with Chu Yi's emotions, but didn't know what to do.
Growing up, the only "giving" he could feel was from his dad.
His dad's giving allowed him to withstand countless insecurities.
And Chu Yi was the second one.
Clumsy and persistent, but very real.
Yet he didn't know how to respond, he didn't even know how to say goodbye.
He thought too much - his fears, his worries, his perplexity, he couldn't express any of it.
But Chu Yi didn't think about anything.
Just like Chu Yi said.
Even if he kept that old number, even if he kept Chu Yi's gifts, even that broken red string, even if he would pick up pretty pebbles when he saw them.
So what? If Chu Yi hadn't thoughtlessly come to find him, he would never have known in this lifetime.
It's just that right now, he was still a bit caught off guard.
Chu Yi probably needed to vent. Although he didn't say anything, Yan Hang could still imagine how he had spent this past year.
So now he was crying very earnestly.
Before, they were outside after all, so he held back after crying for a bit.
Now it was just the two of them here, so Chu Yi was like an opened faucet.
Related or unrelated, all the grievances and frustrations gushed out.
Yan Hang could feel his shoulder getting soaked bit by bit with tears, sticking to Chu Yi with warmth, seeping and feeling a bit cool.
Chu Yi's crying voice was a bit hoarse, sounding heartbreaking to hear.
"I saw the photos," Yan Hang said softly while patting his back, "Do you want to look at them together? Explain your new hairstyle to me?"
"Are you an idiot," Chu Yi sobbed, completely abandoning his "don't mess with me" image, "Looking at a, hairstyle, still needs explaining!"
"Alright, I'll look myself." Yan Hang chuckled and opened WeChat.
Besides Chu Yi, he had no other friends on WeChat, it was all various merchants. He hadn't opened it for a year, and it was full of little red dots.
This thing was pretty much his diary that he occasionally used to record his moods.
And he hadn't paid attention to his moods for over a year either.
He still followed his old habit - emotions and memories he couldn't deal with, he would pack them into a box and press them down deep in his heart. Whenever the box was accidentally opened, that's when he would think about what to do.
Seeing that "1" in his contacts, he imagined there would be many messages, leaving many words, questioning why he left without saying goodbye, why he suddenly disappeared.
But thinking about it, he felt it was impossible.
Yes, with Chu Yi's insecurity and the matters standing between them, it already required a lot of courage for him to send that photo.
But after clicking on the name, he paused and then smiled.
He didn't even have his chat history, how could he possibly still see a photo from a year ago.
He suddenly felt a bit fortunate. He almost would have never known that a kid had so earnestly, so persistently searched for him.
"Chu Yi," Yan Hang put the phone by Chu Yi's face, "Your handsome photo seems to have expired."
"Really?" Chu Yi turned his head, revealing one eye to glance at the screen before pressing his eye back onto Yan Hang's shoulder.
Then he unlocked his own phone and handed it to him: "Look yourself, I still have it recorded here."
Yan Hang took his phone and looked.
In the photo, the Chu Yi from a year ago was still the little punching bag in his memory, smiling a bit foolishly, but one could still call him a handsome boy in good conscience.
The hairstyle was quite good, much better than the one he cut himself that looked chewed by a dog.
He suddenly didn't dare to think carefully. Chu Yi went to get a haircut, took a photo, and mustered the courage to send it to him.
But didn't get any response for a whole year.
He ruffled Chu Yi's hair: "Can I look at your other photos?"
"Look then," Chu Yi was no longer crying as openly as before, but his voice was still hoarse, "There's an album, they're all in there."
"Mm." When Yan Hang exited WeChat, he found that the chat with him was pinned to the top of Chu Yi's list.
He patted Chu Yi's back a couple more times.
For him, his ability to comfort others was simply zero.
Chu Yi was a meticulous kid. Probably because he didn't have his own room, his own safe space, so this bit of territory in his phone was his true private space, and he managed it very carefully.
The photos were all placed in different albums.
One for "Little Rocks", one for "Scenery", one for "Random Shots"...
The last one was "Handsome Boy".
Yan Hang couldn't help but laugh out loud: "Is it this 'Handsome Boy' one?"
"Mm." Chu Yi responded, actually not sounding the least bit embarrassed.
"Let me see this handsome boy." Yan Hang smiled and opened the album.
They were all Chu Yi's selfies inside, quite a number of them, all sorted by time.
Yan Hang opened the earliest one and looked at them one by one.
It seemed to be when Chu Yi changed phones and got a new hairstyle, starting his selfie journey.
One look and you could tell he was someone who never took selfies before. He couldn't even find the right angle, often making a quite handsome person look like a fool. But the further along in the photos, the more skilled he became.
At first, the photo backgrounds were all at home or by the river near the tree hole. Gradually, there started to be some taken on the streets, but still continuing his style of sticking to the walls even when running - taking them one by one like a thief, many not even having time to fix his expression before snapping, and some blurred into a gust of wind.
"It's so blurry and you still didn't delete it?" Yan Hang said.
"Even if it's blurry, it's still me." Chu Yi replied.
"That's true." Yan Hang chuckled and glanced at him. He could see Chu Yi's eyes were still moist, but at least he wasn't crying anymore. His eyes were probably red, which was why he still felt too embarrassed to lift his head from Yan Hang's shoulder.
As they looked through the photos like this, Yan Hang had a very strange feeling.
He and Chu Yi hadn't seen each other for a year. Chu Yi had suddenly changed from a short, bullied kid into a handsome teenager. Yan Hang still had a hard time wrapping his head around it.
Until now, looking at the photos day by day, month by month, half a year to a year, it was like filling in the gaps of his growth during this time.
He watched through the photos as Chu Yi transformed from a somewhat handsome but timid little kid into the...handsome teenager before his eyes.
"Was this after practicing martial arts?" Yan Hang waved the phone.
In the photo, Chu Yi's face was covered in sweat, with water droplets on his hair too. He looked handsome with a hint of coolness.
"Yeah," Chu Yi turned his head while resting on Yan Hang's shoulder. "After washing my face, I-I felt I looked devastatingly handsome, so I t-took a photo."
"You do look very handsome." Yan Hang said with a smile.
Yan Hang looked at the photos in this album for a long time. After going through it once, he exited to look at some other albums. There were Chu Yi's little rocks, those familiar yet unfamiliar landscapes, mixed in with quite a few of the building he used to live in with his dad. There were also many random photos, probably used as memos, with school materials and shopping receipts...
After looking through those, he went back to the 'Handsome Boy' album and slowly watched Chu Yi grow up again.
At some point, Chu Yi had fallen asleep leaning on his shoulder. Yan Hang used his hand to support Chu Yi's head, wanting to find somewhere else for him to rest on, but there was only the bed beside them. Chu Yi was lying sideways and couldn't reach it, so Yan Hang had no choice but to place Chu Yi's head back on his shoulder.
As he went through the years, someone he thought he'd become familiar with, can still inadvertently etch a new memory without realizing it.
Yan Hang leaned back, resting against the edge of the bed and closed his eyes.
When the phone alarm went off in the morning, Yan Hang opened his eyes.
As he habitually wanted to stretch, he felt sore all over. His waist was twisted and his head felt like it was about to fall off, both sore and numb.
He stared at the wood grain by his head, taking about ten seconds to react.
He had actually slept on the floor.
He moved a little and realized he was not only lying on the floor, but was also twisted. He must have slid down after falling asleep while sitting and leaning against the bed.
He had slept like this, all twisted up, for who knows how long.
Gritting his teeth, he sat up and saw Chu Yi sprawled by his legs, also sleeping in a very contorted position, as if he had been beaten.
"Chu Yi," he nudged Chu Yi's back with his knee, "get up."
Chu Yi sprang up as if a switch had been flipped, sitting on the ground in a daze.
Seeing Yan Hang, Chu Yi started laughing, his face still bearing red marks from being pressed against the floor.
"What are you laughing at?" Yan Hang stood up, stretching his arms and legs. "I have to go to work. There's a morning meeting today, can't be late."
"Mm," Chu Yi also got up with a smile and stretched a bit. "I'm going back to school. Some people are arriving at the dorm today."
"Are you going to welcome them?" Yan Hang asked.
"No, just t-taking a look." Chu Yi said.
"How are your classmates?" Yan Hang yawned and reached out to smooth down Chu Yi's hair that was sticking up. Even though he had to raise his arm to ruffle Chu Yi's hair now, he still couldn't help it. It was probably a compulsive habit.
"Hard to say," Chu Yi frowned. "Out of five people, two are g-gangsters."
"Including you?" Yan Hang chuckled.
"How could that be," Chu Yi rubbed his eyes. "I cry when I get emotional. Even with ten gold chains, I couldn't be part of a g-gang."
"How about having noodles for breakfast?" Yan Hang walked towards the living room. "Crybaby."
"Okay," Chu Yi said. "W-wasn't Uncle Cui going to treat us?"
"Usually he could, but I forgot to tell him I have to leave early today. He gets up too late. I'll let him know in a bit," Yan Hang said. "Let him treat us to a big meal another day."
"I'll treat." Chu Yi said.
"It's fine if your dream takes a little longer to realize," Yan Hang said. "You're still young, beautiful teenager."
The moment Chu Yi took a bite of the pasta Yan Hang cooked, he realized Yan Hang's cooking skills had improved a lot compared to a year ago.
"It tastes even better than before!" He gave a thumbs up. "Are you still live-streaming your cooking?"
"No, I haven't live-streamed again." Yan Hang said.
"Why?" Chu Yi asked. "Did you fade out of popularity?"
"Get lost." Yan Hang laughed.
"You were never that popular before either." Chu Yi sighed.
"Yeah." Yan Hang twisted the bottle and sprinkled some pepper on Chu Yi's plate.
"Why? Why did you stop live-streaming?" Chu Yi asked again.
Yan Hang didn't say anything. After a while, he put down the bottle, took a bite of the noodles, and only then said: "I was afraid the girls would ask me where that handsome guy went."
Chu Yi's hand trembled slightly as he lowered his head and quickly ate two big bites.
"Slow down," Yan Hang said. "Afraid I'll steal it from you?"
"You can live-stream now," Chu Yi felt a bit embarrassed, but still said it, not knowing why he had the guts. "The handsome guy i-is here."
Yan Hang looked at him.
After a while, he started laughing, turning his head to the side and kept laughing at the TV.
"Don't laugh," Chu Yi felt even more embarrassed now. "I was just trying to h-help you find a way to make money."
Hearing this, Yan Hang laughed even harder.
"Hey," Chu Yi sighed. He waited for a long time but Yan Hang still didn't stop. He had no choice but to put down his chopsticks and look at Yan Hang. "Laugh as much as you want, d-don't hold back."
Yan Hang turned his head and laughed at him for a while, then suddenly picked up his phone and took a photo of him.
"Take the photo," Chu Yi nodded. "No, charge."
Yan Hang looked down at his phone. After a while, he finally stopped laughing. He tapped on the screen a few times, then turned it to face Chu Yi.
Chu Yi leaned over to take a look.
Yan Hang had posted his photo on Weibo, but had censored his eyes. The image used for the censoring seemed carefully chosen - "Super Rich".
"Why did you censor it?" Chu Yi asked.
"To keep the mystery and see if the girls can still recognize you," Yan Hang said.
"I w-want to check the comments," Chu Yi said, reaching to tap on the screen.
Yan Hang pulled his phone back and smiled at him. "Check on your own phone. You're following me, aren't you?"
"I..." Chu Yi rubbed his nose and smiled.
"What's your username?" Yan Hang asked.
"Keeping the mystery," Chu Yi said, lowering his head to continue eating his noodles.
Yan Hang had to go to work. Although Chu Yi was very reluctant, he still went out the door with him.
When they passed by the flower bed, Yan Hang pulled him over. He finally got a clear look at the little hedgehog from last night, curled up in the grass with a small pile of diced apples in front of it.
"Who, fed it?" Chu Yi asked softly.
"The security guard," Yan Hang said. "The one in front of Uncle Cui's building. He's very caring and even chats with it."
"Huh?" Chu Yi laughed. "Can they u-understand each other?"
"Sure," Yan Hang looked at him, the corner of his mouth curling into a smile. "Even little Stutterer can communicate clearly. It doesn't stutter, so of course it can."
"Don't...bully...me," Chu Yi drawled.
"Let's go," Yan Hang laughed and patted his shoulder. "I can ride the bus with you for one stop. You get off to transfer and I'll continue for two more stops to my place."
"Okay." Chu Yi nodded. This made him very happy, but he immediately grabbed Yan Hang's arm. "P-phone! Your phone!"
"Huh?" Yan Hang was stunned for a moment.
"New number!" Chu Yi said. "Almost forgot!"
"I'll call you," Yan Hang smiled, taking out his phone and dialing Chu Yi's number. "If you hadn't mentioned it, I would've forgotten. I always feel like you're here, so I didn't think about the phone."
Yan Hang had a bus card and took Chu Yi on the bus with him.
"You're n-not taking a taxi anymore?" Chu Yi stood next to him, looking out the bus window at the streets, feeling a strange sense of joy.
"No more taxis. This is more... ordinary life," Yan Hang said softly. "When there's no morning meeting, I walk over."
Chu Yi smiled and looked at his profile.
Yan Hang had changed in some ways, although not obviously, but he could still feel it.
"Military training starts tomorrow?" Yan Hang asked.
"Yeah, getting u-uniforms today," Chu Yi said. "I'll send you a pic, to see, this handsome boy."
"Where's your face gone?" Yan Hang glanced at him.
"Right here." Chu Yi pointed to his own face.
"Dashing." Yan Hang nodded.
Chu Yi laughed for a long time.
It seemed like he hadn't laughed like this in a long time, happily.
When he got off the bus, he stood at the station, watching until the bus disappeared before turning his gaze away.
The bus to the school came and he squeezed on with the people beside him. This route was long and there were slightly more people, but the feeling of being pressed against others didn't affect Chu Yi's mood.
He just felt that this unfamiliar city and these unfamiliar people around him had become warm.
Returning to the school, there were still new students arriving on campus, as well as seniors who had started classes. Chu Yi was sandwiched in the middle, still feeling a bit nervous and unadjusted, but his steps were still light.
However, the atmosphere changed when he went upstairs to the dormitory. There were quite a few people standing in the hallway, some bare-chested, and some carrying chairs from the dorm rooms.
Chu Yi stopped in his tracks, not knowing what the situation was.
"Room 403, coming out or not?" someone over there swung a chair and smashed it against the dorm door. "Damn it, not coming out means the door gets smashed!"
Chu Yi was stunned.
His dorm room number was 403.
"Got the guts to cause trouble! Don't have the guts to face it?" someone else shouted.
Chu Yi took a closer look. Except for the three people holding chairs near their dorm door, the others seemed to have come out from the neighboring dorms to watch the commotion.
Who from their dorm caused trouble?
Li Ziqiang?
Zhang Qiang?
Apart from these two, Hu Biao and Su Bin didn't seem like the type to stir up trouble. Was it one of the three new guys?
In this situation, Chu Yi didn't even know whether to go over or hide.
In his previous school, although there were also people who bullied him, the school itself had strict management, and such blatant fights in the dorms would not happen.
He never imagined that before military training had even begun, he would encounter such a thing.
Just as he was hesitating, there was movement over there. The dorm door seemed to be opening, but then someone closed it again. It seemed someone inside wanted to open it while someone else was stopping them.
"Damn it!" The people outside took advantage of the door opening a crack and rammed into it. Immediately, several people entered the dorm.
The people in the hallway immediately surged over to watch the excitement.
"It's not my business!" someone shouted. "I opened the door! Let me out!"
Chu Yi recognized it as Su Bin's voice.
Then Li Ziqiang's voice roared, "Get the f*ck out, you cowardly piece of sh*t!"
After that, there were clanging sounds as if a fight had broken out.
Chu Yi hesitated for about a second before rushing towards the dorm.
When he reached the doorway, he saw Su Bin squeezing out of the crowd with an impatient look on his face.
"Hold this for me." Chu Yi took out his phone from his pocket and handed it to Su Bin.
Su Bin took the phone and glanced at him. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Chu Yi ignored him and pushed through the crowd into the dorm.
Inside the dorm, three against three were fighting in a mess. Perhaps for the sake of fairness, the chairs they had brought in were thrown on the ground and not being used.
Several people were swinging their fists, all engaged in close combat.
On the side, there was someone curled up on the ground holding his head. It was Hu Biao.
Hu Biao wasn't fighting. Then who was the other one fighting?
Seeing Chu Yi come in, Hu Biao called out in a low voice, "Why did you come in? Get out!"
Chu Yi didn't have time to pay attention to him and rushed forward.
He was afraid of fighting. Although he had fought Liang Bing, twice even, and had practiced boxing for a year, being tricked by Coach He into real fights on stage more times than he could count, seeing such a scene still scared him.
Perhaps it was the shadow of being surrounded by people again and again since he was young. He was especially afraid.
So he rushed forward.
Li Ziqiang's fighting ability was still okay, able to hold his own for a while. Zhang Qiang was clearly at a disadvantage, pinned to the ground by someone's knee.
Chu Yi went over and grabbed the arm of the person on top of Zhang Qiang, fiercely swinging him and flipping him to the ground.
As that person was about to get up, Chu Yi immediately hooked his foot behind the back of the person's knee, flipping him back down again. When he tried to get up once more, Chu Yi followed up with another kick.
Three times in a row, the person wasn't able to stand up.
Zhang Qiang took the opportunity to get up from the ground and was about to kick the person, but Chu Yi pushed him away with a shove to the chest.
He wanted to shout a few times to get everyone to stop, but he really couldn't muster up the courage. Speaking up in front of a bunch of people was also a nightmare deeply rooted in his memory.
So he could only point at Zhang Qiang and say in a low voice, "You stay put!"
The guy who had been knocked down three times still wanted to move. Chu Yi pointed at him again, really not knowing what else to say, and afraid that stuttering while speaking would affect the impact. So he just pointed.
Seeing that the two were temporarily not moving, Chu Yi quickly went to pull apart Li Ziqiang and his opponent.
That person was probably the instigator earlier. At this moment, he threw a punch at Li Ziqiang's face. Chu Yi moved forward at the same time the punch was thrown, smashing his fist on the person's wrist, then following through by fiercely ramming his elbow into the person's chest.
Luckily he had grown taller!
Otherwise his elbow wouldn't even reach the other person's chest!
The person was instantly stunned by the hit. After a brief daze, he immediately threw another punch at Chu Yi.
This kind of punch seemed like a total mess to Chu Yi. He ducked to avoid it, then followed with an uppercut, not using too much force, but it still made the person's head jerk back when it hit his chin, causing him to stagger back a couple steps.
"Stand still!" Chu Yi stared at him, then shoved Li Ziqiang to the side. Li Ziqiang plopped down onto the bed.
The scene was extremely awkward.
A group of dumbfounded onlookers at the door, and the four people inside the room who had stopped fighting, were all staring at him.
He couldn't say a single word more. He just felt his whole body go stiff, wanting to jump out the window and run away.
But the third person behind him had no intention of giving him that chance. Suddenly picking up a wooden stick from who knows where it was torn from, he was about to strike Chu Yi with it.
"Fuck!" Li Ziqiang let out a shout and leapt up from the bed.
Chu Yi's reaction was almost instinctive. He raised his arm to block the downswing of the person's arm, then slid his hand along it, grabbing the person's wrist.
Then press and twist.
Uncle Yan had taught him this move, which apparently Yan Hang could never quite get right.
It was the first time he had used the full technique.
But.
It didn't amaze everyone like he had imagined.
He probably liked Yan Hang too much and got infected by him.
The wooden stick in the person's hand didn't drop as expected, not even moving an inch.
Now this was quite embarrassing, even more so than before.
The two of them stared at each other as if frozen at the end of a TV episode, seemingly waiting for a preview of the next one.
After a moment of daze, the person clenched his teeth and started forcefully pressing his arm downward.
Chu Yi thought he must be an idiot. Pressing down like this was pointless.
Once the person had exerted his full strength, Chu Yi suddenly released his grip, using the momentum of the person's arm swinging down to press it hard, then twisting it behind the person's back and lifting upward.
The person did a 180-degree backward turn and smashed face-down onto the table.
Chu Yi held him down and looked back at the few people in the room.
This was when he should say something.
Hello everyone, I'm Chu Yi. I hope we can all talk things out properly.
We just met, is it really appropriate to fight like this?
......
"Done yet?" he said.
Every chapter whispers secrets; every coffee sip fuels the journey. Let's embark on another chapter, powered by everyone's support! >.<
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