Chu Yi had no interest in watching the commotion. Car accidents, fights, quarrels - he wouldn't go and see any of them.

Murder?

He wasn't interested in that either. A life had disappeared, what was there to be excited about? Before, when someone wanted to commit suicide on the bridge, there were also many onlookers. He heard that the person eventually jumped.

But the river was too shallow and didn't drown them, only broke their legs.

Many people treated this as a joke and laughed about it for a long time, but he felt it was quite good and breathed a sigh of relief. At least no one died.

He looked in the direction where the onlookers were running towards. It was the small street leading to the riverside.

That meant many people might have run to his tree hole now. He felt a bit unhappy. The tree hole was his little secret, and he didn't want anyone else to discover it.

He hesitated and walked a short distance towards the small street, where he saw blood on the ground.

A long trail, dripping along the way.

He stopped.

Forget it.

This kind of scene, better not to look.

He turned around and went to the supermarket. The few stocking ladies at the door were craning their necks to look in that direction. Seeing him walk over, they even asked, "Did you see what happened? Was someone attacked?"

"I don't know," Chu Yi replied.

The supermarket was about the same as usual, with no one paying attention to the commotion outside.

Many times it's like this. Things happening right beside you, people coming and going, living and dying, but if you don't see it, it's as if nothing ever happened.

If Yan Hang hadn't seen him that day, hadn't walked up to him.

For him, it would be as if Yan Hang had never existed.

In this life, people live so selfishly.

Chu Yi clutched Yan Hang's wallet tightly as he walked back and forth among the various vegetables.

Yan Hang was in a bad mood, but it didn't seem to affect his appetite. Chu Yi wanted to buy things Yan Hang liked to eat, but after making a round, he realized he didn't know what Yan Hang liked.

In the end, he could only buy some things that could be easily prepared, like shrimp, meatballs, and some greens.

He also picked up a bottle of iced black tea.

When Chu Yi came out of the supermarket, he saw a police car with flashing lights driving towards the river.

It seemed something had really happened. He sighed and ran across the street carrying the things.

When he reached the door of Yan Hang's home, he found that Yan Hang had pulled open the curtains and was standing by the window smoking a cigarette, his hair still wet and dripping water.

Chu Yi walked over. "I just bought some random..."

"What happened over there?" Yan Hang asked.

"Oh," Chu Yi glanced back. "I didn't go over. Looks like someone died."

The cigarette Yan Hang was holding shook violently, and a piece of ash fell.

Chu Yi was a bit surprised by Yan Hang's reaction.

After a long while, he realized Yan Hang had no intention of opening the door for him, so he pointed at the door again. "Open the door."

Yan Hang stubbed out his cigarette and went to open the door, taking the groceries from his hand. "Chu Yi."

"Hm?" Chu Yi looked at him.

"Do me a favor," Yan Hang said. "Go over there and see what happened."

Chu Yi was stunned again but quickly nodded. "Okay, I'll go look. Wait a bit."

Seeing Chu Yi hurrying across the street, Yan Hang finally closed the door and took the groceries into the kitchen.

When he tried to lift the bag onto the counter, he found that his hands were shaking so badly that he couldn't raise it at all.

He had to grab the bag with both hands to put the things up.

When he let go of the bag, his hands seemed to lose support and were trembling so much he felt like dancing along with the rhythm.

He leaned against the counter and lowered his head, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths, then slowly exhaling.

Inhale again.

Exhale again.

After calming down a bit, he bit his lip, turned around abruptly and walked out of the kitchen into his dad's room, turning on the light.

Everything in his dad's room was as usual - the folded quilt, the folded towel blanket, the clothes casually draped over the chair, and the lingering faint smell of smoke.

After another night, the smell of smoke in this room would dissipate completely.

Yan Hang stood in the room for a few seconds, walked to the bedside, and removed the pillow.

There was nothing under the pillow. He shook the pillow, and nothing fell out. He grabbed the pillow and squeezed it all over, but there was nothing.

He lifted the quilt, nothing. Shook it, nothing. Grabbed the quilt cover and squeezed it all over, nothing. Shook open the towel blanket, still nothing.

Bed sheet, bed board, under the bed.

All nothing.

He went over and picked up his dad's clothes draped over the chair. Nothing. He threw the clothes aside in frustration and pulled open the wardrobe.

Where on earth was that letter?

His dad couldn't possibly carry that letter on him. The envelope was very old but had no creases at all. The letter could only be in the room.

But the room was only so big, with just these few things. His dad's belongings were even fewer, like someone who only went on business trips for two or three days.

Where was it?!

He took out his dad's clothes from the wardrobe one by one and felt them, but there were only these few pieces. After a few moments, the wardrobe was empty.

He reached into the wardrobe and felt it carefully again. Nothing.

Finally, he slammed the wardrobe door shut and kicked the chair in anger. "Fuck!"

"Yan Hang?" Chu Yi's voice came from the living room.

He turned around. Chu Yi was standing outside the window. The window faced the doors of the two rooms. He probably saw what he looked like. Chu Yi's expression was a bit uneasy.

"Did you go and see?" Yan Hang opened the door.

"I did," Chu Yi nodded. "But couldn't get close. Police cars, ambulances, all there."

"Did you see the dead person?" Yan Hang looked at him, feeling a bit breathless.

"Covered up," Chu Yi shook his head. "Only saw a gold watch."

"Wearing a gold watch?" Yan Hang asked.

"Mm," Chu Yi rubbed his hands on his clothes uneasily. "Or I can go look again..."

"No need." Yan Hang couldn't tell if he was relieved or if his heart was even tighter. He just felt his whole being was suspended, unreal everywhere, pressing down but unable to reach the bottom.

The anxiety of always wanting to take something to fill the empty heart.

In the end, he pulled Chu Yi into his arms, pressed his head against his chest, and hugged him tightly.

Chu Yi was startled, his first reaction was that Yan Hang was going to beat him to vent his anger. He subconsciously raised his arms wanting to cover his head.

But Yan Hang hugged him, pressing his entire face against Yan Hang's chest.

His arms just froze open like that.

Yan Hang hugged very tightly. He felt his nose was flattened and breathing was a bit difficult. After waiting a while and seeing Yan Hang had no intention of letting go, he could only quietly open his mouth a little to assist with breathing.

Yan Hang lowered his head and first nuzzled the top of his head, then rested his chin on top of his head.

Then pressed down forcefully.

Chu Yi didn't know if the top of his head was too fragile or if Yan Hang's chin was too powerful, but it felt quite painful.

But he didn't make a sound.

He wasn't clear what exactly happened to Yan Hang, and wasn't clear what relationship that dead person wearing the gold watch had with his abnormal behavior.

He only knew Yan Hang's mood was very bad and his emotions were also a bit unstable.

The always arrogant and unrestrained Yan Hang suddenly becoming like this made him feel very distressed.

He hesitated for a moment, then tightened his arms, hugging Yan Hang's waist, also hugging very tightly.

After a while, Yan Hang let go of him and ruffled his hair.

He also let go, quickly glancing at Yan Hang's face, he wasn't crying.

"Are you doing homework?" Yan Hang went and pulled the curtains closed, then looked out from the gap in the curtains.

"Huh?" Chu Yi didn't react in time.

"I'll cook," Yan Hang turned and went into the kitchen, "you do your homework."

Yan Hang spoke very clearly, his tone also very normal, looking as if he was already completely fine.

But Chu Yi had been here since noon and skipped class the whole afternoon, where would homework come from, even if there was homework, his schoolbag was still at school.

Chu Yi walked to the kitchen doorway and looked at Yan Hang.

Yan Hang had his back to him, standing in front of the counter, neatly laying out all the ingredients.

Chu Yi went over, took a head of cabbage to the sink, quickly broke off the leaves and started washing them efficiently.

"How do you want the shrimp?" Yan Hang asked.

"Blanched plain." Chu Yi said, simpler.

"Mm." Yan Hang responded, standing in front of the stove staring at the water in the pot.

Chu Yi brought the washed vegetables to the counter.

Yan Hang's current state was strange, to be safe, Chu Yi picked up the knife and lowered his head to start cutting the cabbage.

"How do you want this?" Yan Hang glanced at him.

"Stir-fried with meatballs." Chu Yi said.

Yan Hang didn't say anything more.

Chu Yi finished cutting the vegetables and conveniently cut the meatballs too, best not to let Yan Hang handle anything involving a knife.

Salt, scallions, ginger slices, Sichuan peppercorns, Yan Hang put all the ingredients into the pot and continued spacing out.

Wearing a gold watch.

In Yan Hang's impression, he had never seen anyone wearing a gold watch, and based on Chu Yi's reaction, it shouldn't be someone he was familiar with either.

So was what happened today just an accident?

Although he hoped that was the case, rationally it was hard to accept. When his dad left, it was too different from usual. He didn't need to think carefully to know something big was going to happen, and in the afternoon someone died by the river.

To say it was an accident, he really found it hard to believe.

The water boiled, the fragrance of the ingredients wafted out. He added some white wine, then reached out to grab the shrimp. As soon as he reached out, a plate was passed to his hand.

He turned his head to look. Chu Yi had been standing beside him the whole time and now had already passed the shrimp over.

He poured the shrimp into the pot: "Go get ice."

Chu Yi immediately found the ice tray in the fridge and brought it over.

"Pour it all in a bowl." He said.

"Okay." Chu Yi took a large bowl and banged the ice tray against the rim of the bowl a few times.

The noise was quite loud, startling Yan Hang, who turned to look at him: "Are you chipping ice or smashing the bowl?"

"It won't break," Chu Yi hit it again, the ice cubes from the tray all fell into the bowl, "I, I know what I'm doing, don't worry."

Chu Yi worked very nimbly, understanding what he wanted to do from a single sentence. After finishing with the ice cubes, he directly went and poured some cold boiled water, placing a bowl of ice water by his hand.

Yan Hang scooped the shrimp out and put them in: "Bring one more bowl, the shrimp meat is only tender when thoroughly chilled."

"Mm." Chu Yi did as told.

After finishing the shrimp, he stir-fried the meatballs and cabbage together, then boiled some frozen dumplings.

Chu Yi set out the bowls and chopsticks, brought the dishes out and placed them on the coffee table, and also brought out iced black tea.

Yan Hang went over and felt the bottle, it was cold, Chu Yi must have put it in the freezer earlier.

He glanced at the spot on the sofa his dad always sat, then sat down and picked up the remote to turn on the TV.

No need to change the channel, it was directly in the middle of broadcasting the city news.

During the meal, the two of them didn't speak, eating while watching the news.

The news was trivial as always, not mentioning the murder case by the river.

The efficiency of the city station reporters wasn't even as good as WeChat Moments.

But Yan Hang felt him watching the news was just a formality, there had to be this sound while eating. He wasn't sure if he would really want to watch if there was news about this.

After eating, Chu Yi's long-term worker spirit was still present. He quickly cleared everything from the coffee table and after busying about in the kitchen for a while, wiped the entire counter clean.

The weather forecast started playing on TV. Just as Yan Hang was about to pick up the remote to change to another channel, a cell phone started ringing.

His heart suddenly jumped. When picking up his phone, he used a bit too much force, directly making two cracks appear in the tempered glass screen protector with a snap.

"It's...it's mine ringing." Chu Yi stood beside him holding his phone, saying softly with a shocked expression.

Yan Hang glanced at his own phone with the black screen, peeled off the screen protector and tossed it on the coffee table: "It's your mom calling to scold you right?"

"Probably." Chu Yi forced a smile and answered the call.

"No need for you to come back! Stay dead out there!" As soon as the call connected, his mom's voice exploded out, "Each and every one of you, if you don't want to answer the phone then don't, if you don't want to come back then don't! If you want to skip class then skip! Then don't come back! Whoever dares to come back, I'll break their legs!"

Before Chu Yi could say anything, his mom had already hung up.

"Go back," Yan Hang said, "I'm fine, just a bit irritated, sleeping a bit will be okay."

Chu Yi stood there without moving.

Yan Hang glanced at him: "How long have you known me? Worrying so much."

Chu Yi quickly calculated in his head: "About...about a semester."

Yan Hang laughed, "For a long time?"

"Mm." Chu Yi also smiled.

"There are many semesters in a lifetime," Yan Hang said, "too many to count."

Chu Yi furrowed his brows but didn't say anything.

"Thank you." Yan Hang said.

Chu Yi's half-furrowed brows froze, and after a while returned to their original position. Yan Hang spoke in an unpredictable way, and this sudden "thank you" came before he even had a chance to retort "thanks for what".

"You're quite cute," Yan Hang said, "it's just that others haven't seen it."

"It's enough, for you, to see it." Chu Yi said.

Yan Hang turned his head, looked at him and smiled, "My dad said he wanted to have another child before, it's just...he didn't have the chance. It would be great to have a younger brother like you."

Chu Yi suddenly couldn't understand what this "didn't have the chance" meant.

"Then I wouldn't always be alone." Yan Hang said.

"You, now also aren't, aren't alone." Chu Yi thought for a bit, "Later I'll, keep you company."

Yan Hang looked at him, quite intently for a good while, then got up, came over and kissed him on the forehead.

Chu Yi's entire body froze in place.

The faint scent of Yan Hang's cologne assailed his face. Although this kiss landed on his hair, he still felt a bit dizzy.

From childhood until now, no one had ever kissed him like this. In his memory, he had never even been hugged by his family.

Yan Hang's very light touch on his forehead was the first time in his life he felt intimacy.

"You really need a haircut." Yan Hang clicked his tongue.

"Mm," Chu Yi smiled a bit embarrassedly, brushing the hair on his forehead, "I'll go this weekend."

"I want to be alone tonight," Yan Hang said, "if anything comes up I'll message you."

"Promise." Chu Yi said.

"Promise." Yan Hang nodded.

After Chu Yi left, Yan Hang sat dazed on the sofa for a while, then got up to get a bottle of his dad's erguotou and a bag of peanuts.

Settling back on the sofa, he lit a cigarette, turned down the TV volume, and continued watching the city channel.

In the evening, the city channel would always play a melodramatic idol drama, an extremely idol type, where even the old men who appeared had soft focus and airbrushing.

After this drama finished there would also be news.

He just drank like this in the darkness, eating peanuts, staring at that square of flickering light.

This form of "I'm in the dark" made him feel safe.

Safe.

When his dad wasn't home, he needed this feeling even more.

Not a sense of security, but truly being safe.

Today he could have gone out himself to take a look, but he didn't, he had Chu Yi run the errand for him.

This kind of subconscious behavior of trying to hide himself as much as possible when danger might appear, his dad had never deliberately taught him.

But after so many years of this kind of life, his dad teaching him to fight, teaching him to protect himself, teaching him to read people, this kind of awareness had long ago hidden itself in his mind.

When the news music started, the hand holding his glass shook slightly.

The full glass of alcohol spilled out. He licked the liquor that had spilled on his hand, not looking at the screen, just lowering his eyes to stare at the peanuts on the coffee table.

"This afternoon around 6 o'clock, in the eastern district of the city a suspected case of serious fighting occurred..."

When the female announcer on the TV said this sentence, Yan Hang's heart seized. He tilted his head back and drank all the alcohol in the glass, staring at the screen.

But his ears couldn't quite clearly hear what she was saying.

"The Linhe District police station received a report...one person died at the scene from excessive blood loss...large amount of blood at the scene..."

Yan Hang stared at the familiar street scene on the television, cordoned off with yellow police tape.

This person died by the river. His identity hadn't been confirmed yet. Eyewitnesses at the scene said he had run out from the alley across the street.

The alley across the street.

The alley across the street was probably about 500 meters from the apartment they rented. Actually it couldn't be called an alley, it was just a passageway formed by courtyard walls on both sides. Cars couldn't pass through, only pedestrians and motorcycles.

When the footage cut to the alley, Yan Hang saw large patches of blood on the ground that hadn't been cleaned up yet.

He furrowed his brows.

In the previous shots by the river, the blood could already be seen. There was a lot, all around the person, who had probably been stabbed in the alley before running towards the river, collapsing, losing a large amount of blood, and dying.

...Then why would there still be so much blood in the alley, whose was it?

And who stabbed him?

"The specifics of the case are still under further investigation..."

This news segment was very short. After two or three minutes it switched to another news story about two old men getting in a fight over a seat on the bus.

"You've really made something of yourself!" Grandma smacked Chu Yi on the back, "You even skipped class! Why don't you just go drop out directly!"

Chu Yi didn't make a sound, staring at the seaweed and egg drop soup spilled all over the floor.

His legs and feet burned with pain.

The soup had been knocked over by Grandma just as he was carrying it out from the kitchen. An entire pot of soup had poured onto his pants.

It was very normal for Grandma to be angry. He hadn't come home for dinner and hadn't told his family. His mom and grandparents had waited until now and still hadn't eaten.

He had been thinking about keeping Yan Hang company all day and had forgotten to make up a lie for his mom.

"First go rinse it with some water." Grandpa waved his hand to the side.

"Rinse what water! Scald him to death, if you don't give him a bit of a lesson he'll ascend to the heavens!" Grandma put one hand on her hip and pointed at him with the other, "Look at him recently, if he's happy he comes back to eat, if he's not happy he doesn't even fart and disappears without a trace!"

Actually, if he was happy he wouldn't come back to eat. Coming back to eat didn't have anything to be happy about.

Chu Yi lightly tugged on his pant leg, letting the pants not stick to his leg. Luckily the soup had been cooked a little while ago and wasn't at its hottest.

But compared to the pain on his legs, what he felt more distressed about were the pants.

These were the pants Yan Hang had given him. He hadn't dared to wear the whole outfit together. He was still wearing his school uniform top...if he had known, he would have worn his school uniform today too. He had already mended the hole on the butt himself.

Grandma scolded for a while more before resting. He went into the bathroom, took off his pants. His legs and feet were all red, but the skin wasn't broken.

He took the hose and sprayed water on his legs for a while. It felt a bit better, but as soon as the water left, the burning pain immediately returned.

He sighed, went to the balcony to get a pair of big shorts to put on. He'd go out and buy some medicine tonight.

A few people were sitting in the living room. After Grandma spilled the soup, the meal was put on pause and everyone just sat there in a daze, not moving.

Chu Yi grabbed a mop and started cleaning up the soup on the floor.

"Should we call the police?" Grandpa suddenly said.

"Call the police for what!" Mom frowned. "What police officer has the time to deal with you just because a grown man isn't answering the home phone."

"Exactly," Grandma chimed in from the side, "Call the police my ass, better to find out where he's cheating instead."

"That's enough from you, not a single good thing comes out of your mouth, can't you wish for the best for your own family!" Mom said irritably.

"That person they just talked about on the news," Grandpa said, "it couldn't be..."

"Are you crazy!" Mom jumped up. "What's wrong with you!"

"A fool for life," Grandma pointed at Grandpa, "Even my farts are smarter than you."

Chu Yi mopped the floor twice and brought out all the dishes before sitting down at his desk.

Listening to Grandma discuss what was going on with Dad while eating, he just felt chaotic and scared.

Dad was a timid man who was especially afraid of Mom scolding him. His phone being unreachable like this had rarely happened in Chu Yi's memory. Even if it ran out of battery, Dad would always find a way to call back.

Who knows what happened.

Mom didn't have the phone number for Dad's company or his colleagues. Now that she couldn't get through to Dad's cell phone, she had no one to even ask.

"I'll go to his company tomorrow," Mom finally said. "What a shitty company!"

"I'll go with you." Grandma said.

"Forget it, what are you going for, let me ask about the situation first." Mom frowned.

Chu Yi was sprawled on his desk, flipping through his English textbook.

There was no homework to do today, so he didn't know what to do with himself.

In this home, he didn't even have a place to hide for some peace and quiet.

He could only daze off like this.

He kept spacing out until the whole family went back to their rooms to sleep. Only then did he quietly stand up and open the door to go out.

Going out at this hour, he had nowhere to go. Before, he would just go for a run and chat at the tree hole for a bit.

But today he couldn't go to the tree hole, the police tape was still there.

He wanted to go to the drugstore to buy some burn ointment first but didn't manage to. He didn't know such a small tube of burn ointment would be so expensive, much more than toothpaste...

In the end, he stood across the street from Yan Hang's home and sighed.

The lights were off at Yan Hang's place. He probably went to sleep already.